At my seat, I sat for hours. Not bothering to mingle with my classmates.
It's English, my last period. My new English teacher reminds me so much of my old one. I miss her. Sometimes, I wish I could just go back.
The bell rings, class is over.
My English teacher suddenly approached me. "I've seen your grades when you were still in your old school and compared to your grades now...it's a whole downgrade. Is everything alright, dear?" She asks.
I hate it when someone's comparing myself to my past. But...she said it with care and genuine concern. She really reminds me of her. "Yes, ma'am. I'm just really not myself right now. Like- it's hard to explain, I'm just not feeling myself." I don't know why I'm even trying to explain. What if I could just reach for help? What if I just tell her everything?
"Mhm." She said but what's that in her eyes? Disappointment? Distain? "You could do better." She said then she just left. What was that!? That made me feel worse. She's actually different from my old English teacher.
I'm walking home but I don't want to go home just yet. Maybe I'll just visit that bookstore.
The bookstore that is owned by an old lady. No grandchildren, no husband and no relatives with her...just her black cat.
I went in, she was sitting behind the counter, reading a book, her black cat on her lap and tea beside her. She didn't even bother looking up. It's weird, not a lot of people visits this shop. I thought she would greet me or try to sell me a book but no she just sat there.
I explored the shop, it's not big but not small either. It's cozy and I like the aesthetic.
I was scrolling through the books when I found a book that caught my eyes.
A fairly sized and kinda thin book. I grabbed it. The beginning of the book doesn't have a publisher or any sorts of things they put on a book to know the publisher's information. No writer written but there's a dedication. "To my most beloved." I'm assuming that it's a romance story.
I sat down on a chair to read it or at least the early pages of the book and see if it's worth buying.
The old lady glanced at the book I was reading. It is a romance story but there's something special on how the author wrote this book but I can't seem to grasp it. The oldy lady kept staring at me. "Is it good?" She asked. I just nodded to answer. She smiled and continues reading the book in her hand.
She wasn't interested at me at first so why was she interested in me now? Is it because of the book I'm reading. I wanna ask her a question but I'm too nervous to ask. I gathered all of my courage. "Is it special to you?" I finally asked.
"Yes, very." She had a serious expression earlier but now she kept smiling.
I have a suspicious feeling that she wrote this book. "Did you write this book?" My curiosity growing.
"You seem good at reading people, are you?" No one asked me that before but I guess I am good at reading people.
"I think so. What inspired you to create this?" I don't know why the conversation is still going but it's going.
"My own story." She answered with hesitation.
I got up and approached the counter. I put the book on the counter. "I'll buy it." I said.
"You can have it for free." She said.
"But why? I'm willing to pay any price." Why is she just giving it away for free?
"I mean it. Don't argue with me, just take it." Her expression turned serious but not actually serious? Like a playful serious.
"Thanks..." The word came up my mouth suddenly. I don't know how to say thank you. It's been awhile since I used that word. The word that I used a lot to reply to all the congratulations of people who never supported me. I just realized that I can't just give that word to people just like that.
She just smiled again.
I left the store, it was almost night time so I headed back home.