"I've said it a hundred times already. I'm not interested in becoming Hokage."
Following Minato inside, Kiyosuke spoke plainly.
Jiraiya asked, "Then what are you interested in?"
"Pretty ladies, obviously!" Kiyosuke blurted out.
Jiraiya's eyes lit up. "A kindred spirit!!!"
Smack!
The two high-fived, perfectly in sync.
"…" Minato.
Why do I always feel so out of place with you two perverts?
"Minato, is Kiyosuke here? I think I heard Jiraiya-sensei's voice?"
Kushina, her red hair tied into a ponytail, peeked her head out from the kitchen. When she saw Jiraiya, she looked surprised.
"Jiraiya-sensei? What are you doing here?"
Jiraiya pouted. "Hey, hey, Kushina, I'm Minato's teacher! Why wouldn't I be allowed to come over? What's with that disgusted look?"
"It's not a look—it is disgust. Jiraiya-sensei, you're one of the 'Four Taboos of the Shinobi World.' Kiyosuke, stay away from him."
"What the heck are the 'Four Taboos'?"
Kiyosuke quipped, "Jiraiya-sama is the embodiment of the Three Ninja Taboos, so naturally, he's the Fourth."
Drinking, women, and money—Jiraiya indulges in them all. This guy has zero awareness of how a ninja should act. He doesn't follow a single taboo... not that he's alone—plenty of ninja ignore them.
"That stuff only matters on missions," Jiraiya said dismissively. "Kushina, you really hold a grudge against your teacher. Now hurry up, I'm starving."
He plopped down at the table like he had no intention of ever leaving.
Kiyosuke sat beside him and said seriously,
"Kushina-san, I hope your cooking won't disappoint. I'm a gourmet who's eaten at every restaurant in Konoha—even Asuma's mom's cooking has passed through my lips."
Kushina's expression grew unusually serious.
"I understand. I'll make something I'm truly good at."
With that, she ducked back into the kitchen. The sound of rapid chopping soon echoed through the house.
Minato and Jiraiya both looked uneasy.
Kiyosuke blinked. "What's with your faces?"
Jiraiya leaned in and whispered, "Well… Kushina's usual cooking is pretty good. But the problem is…"
"Hmm?"
"When she gets serious, the taste becomes... hard to describe."
Minato swallowed hard.
Whoa, whoa, really? How bad could it possibly be to scare both the future Fourth Hokage and one of the Sannin this much?
What did I say?
What the hell did I just say?!
Jiraiya placed a solemn hand on Kiyosuke's shoulder.
"Kiyosuke… you're walking into hell."
Kiyosuke gave him a look and smirked coldly. Then he raised his voice.
"Kushina-san! Jiraiya-sama says he's really excited to try your signature dish when you're taking it seriously!"
"Really? Alright! I'll bring out my best!"
Kushina's voice rang cheerfully from the kitchen.
Jiraiya's face froze.
He grabbed Kiyosuke by the collar and hissed,
"You little brat! You set me up!"
Kiyosuke grinned devilishly. "Jiraiya-sama, it wouldn't be right for me to suffer alone. I'm all about sharing the love."
"…" Jiraiya.
Has the younger generation already become this twisted?
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
We can't go down alone! ×2
Both of them turned toward Minato, who was silently watching the chaos unfold.
"…" Minato.
"Kushina! Feel free to go all-out today! Minato says he's eager to taste your full-power cooking!"
"That's right, Kushina-san. Minato-san says he really misses your serious cuisine!"
The sinister grins on Jiraiya and Kiyosuke's faces twisted further in Minato's eyes.
He could feel the malice radiating from them.
? (ˉ﹃ˉ?) ×2
"Kushina, wai—mmph!"
As Minato tried to speak, Jiraiya and Kiyosuke lunged at him, muffling his voice.
"Minato-san, your heart is filthy! You were really about to upgrade the hell meal!?"
"Minato! I don't recall raising you to be like this! Have some respect for your teacher!"
You two damn brats set me up!
Minato struggled in frustration, but the two sinister degenerates wouldn't let him talk.
Jiraiya even shoved a fruit into Minato's mouth to silence him.
"Until Kushina comes out, we cannot let Minato say a word."
"Agreed."
Consensus achieved!
Cheers []( ̄▽ ̄)*
"You're asking what's going on?"
Kushina approached carrying a pot of soup, only to find her man gagged with an apple, held down by Jiraiya and Kiyosuke.
"Oh, it's nothing. Just messing around," Kiyosuke said cheerfully. "Kushina-san, we're counting on your cooking for today's big lunch!"
He gave her a thumbs-up.
"Alright, leave it to me!"
Kushina returned the gesture with a thumbs-up of her own.
Minato: "..."
No, Kushina! Turn around! There's hell ahead of you!!!
...
As the dishes were brought out one by one, the three men's faces grew increasingly grim.
The food looked good—but there was something off about the smell.
Kiyosuke even thought he saw a faint skull shape form in the steam rising from the soup.
Uhh...
"Alright, Kiyosuke, go ahead and try my cooking!" Kushina cheerfully served him a portion.
"Haha, honoring our elders is a virtue. Jiraiya-sama, as the eldest among us, you should be the first to try Kushina-san's dish." Kiyosuke quickly pushed the plate toward Jiraiya.
"Haha, Minato, why don't you try it? You don't get to eat her signature dishes like this every day."
No way was the great Jiraiya going down alone!
Minato smiled stiffly. "Come on, Kiyosuke. This meal is specially prepared for you. You try it first."
The three of them kept passing the food around, none daring to make the first move.
Kushina narrowed her eyes. A menacing aura flared up around her, and her red hair floated in the air like tendrils.
It's here!
Smack!
She slammed a palm on the table.
"You three!"
"Yes, ma'am!!"
The trio instantly straightened up and put down their chopsticks.
"Are you dissatisfied with my cooking?"
"No, ma'am!!!"
Their answer was loud and clear.
"Then eat!"
"Yes, ma'am!!!"
...
The meal ended at record speed.
Kushina looked at the spotless plates and smiled brightly.
"Ara~, so you do love my cooking, huh? Kiyosuke, you live alone, right? You're welcome to come over for meals anytime!"
No way! I'm never coming back again!
Lying face-down on the table, Kiyosuke felt like his soul had left his body.
That meal nearly killed me…
Serious-mode Kushina's cooking is terrifying.
Why does cooking get worse the more seriously she takes it?
What kind of messed-up setting is that?!
"So," Jiraiya said, slumped over, "Kiyosuke, let's not do that again, alright? Just let Kushina cook normally."
"No. I'm never eating here again," Kiyosuke replied solemnly.
----------------
Pls Drop some Power Stones
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