Li Tianming's temporary "kingdom" was little more than a broken-down shed, two spirit carrots, a stolen pot, and a pig named Chairman Oink.
But now, sitting awkwardly across from him was a dripping wet divine beauty with a glare that could curdle milk.
"I fell through six dimensions," Mei Ling'er muttered, wringing out her soaked celestial robes, "and this is where fate dumps me? A pigsty, with a man whose aura smells like… fermented cabbage."
"Hey," Tianming said, raising a finger. "That's the scent of struggle. Also, I only recently reobtained underwear."
> "System Notice: New Title unlocked – 'Pantsless Savior.'"
Mei Ling'er, Goddess of Luck, tilted her head, trying to make sense of her situation. Her divine qi was unstable, her teleportation array destroyed. She was, for now, stranded.
"I require a bath. And clean robes."
Tianming blinked. "Bath… I got a tub. It's made from a pig trough. Kinda rustic. Very… vintage."
Minutes later, the divine being who once bathed in celestial lotus dew was soaking in a wooden tub with soap made from pig fat and lavender weeds.
She didn't seem amused.
"If you so much as peek," she warned, "I will personally recycle your soul into a toilet fly."
"I would never," Tianming said, covering his eyes—while discreetly peeking through his fingers. "System, zoom."
> "Negative. Pervert Protocol engaged. Blinding now."
Tianming yelped as divine light zapped his retina.
"Fair enough!"
Suddenly, a notification pinged in his mind:
> "New System Function Unlocked: [Cleanse All – Lv.1]. Would you like to activate?"
Tianming blinked. "Cleanse? Sure. Let's help her relax."
He mentally tapped "Yes."
The effect was instantaneous. A radiant pulse of qi burst from his chest, washing over the tub and disintegrating every speck of dirt—and her divine robe.
Gone.
Completely.
Mei Ling'er froze.
Tianming stared.
They both screamed.
"You IDIOT!" she shouted, summoning a wind vortex so powerful it blew the roof off his hut. Pigs ran screaming. The carrot pot exploded.
"I THOUGHT IT WAS A BUFF!" he cried, dodging divine lightning.
> "System Alert: Host has activated [Accidental Nudity Scenario Lv.1]. Bond Progress +15%."
> "Bonus: Mei Ling'er's emotional state is now marked as 'Furious but Conflicted.'"
Eventually, after a blanket was fetched and an offering of spirit dumplings was placed at her feet, Mei Ling'er sat down and sighed.
"I cannot teleport away. This world's laws are primitive. My divine qi is sealed."
"So you're stuck with me?" Tianming asked with a sheepish grin.
"Unfortunately."
"Best news I've heard all day."
> "Quest Updated: Survive Three Days With the Goddess Without Dying."
> Reward: [Chaos Luck Core], 1000 Cultivation Points, Temporary Immunity to Divine Smite.
Failure Penalty: 1x Lightning Tribulation to the groin.
"Noted," Tianming muttered. "Let's focus on bonding instead of exploding."
—
That night, he prepared dinner: carrot stew with wild onions and something that may or may not have been squirrel meat. Mei Ling'er sniffed the bowl like it was poison.
"I used to dine on Phoenix Nectar and Ambrosial Beef," she murmured.
"Tonight you feast on Pig-Forged Glory Stew," Tianming declared.
She took a bite.
She paused.
"…It's not awful."
Tianming puffed his chest. "Your words are music to my ears."
> "System Note: Affection Level +2. Mei Ling'er now sees Host as: 'Functional Human.'"
As the fire crackled, Tianming poked it with a stick. "So, real talk. You're a goddess. Why the hell did you fall here?"
She glanced at the stars.
"There's a force moving across realms. Something… consuming divinity. I was investigating when a rift opened. I barely escaped."
Tianming whistled. "So you're saying fate dropped you into my pigsty for a reason?"
"No. I'm saying I fell into a cosmic dumpster and hit every piece of trash on the way down."
He grinned. "I'm honored to be top trash."
She smiled despite herself—then immediately stopped.
"Don't get ideas."
"Oh, too late."
> "System Notification: Host's Flirt Counter reached 10. Hidden Skill unlocked: [Charming Rascal Aura Lv.1]"
---
As they prepared to sleep—Mei Ling'er in the only bed (a straw pile), Tianming outside with the pigs—he spoke to the sky.
"One day, I'll build a palace so grand, even gods will kneel at the gates."
The pigs oinked in agreement.
Mei Ling'er rolled her eyes.
But deep inside, the spark of curiosity flared.
> "System: Night Progress Logged. Divine Affinity stabilized. Hidden Route unlocked."
> "New Quest: Found the Divine Harem."