You were trying to protect your heart.
And I was trying to protect mine.
In the end, you did protect yours
While I lost mine.
I still sometimes wonder
What would have happened, if all this came true
Would we end up together?
Or we would've lost each other again
Not that we were ever together, now too!
Do I still come to your mind?
While you visit mine every day?
Or is it just me, the only one
Who is suffering from this,
Because it's the only way.
___________________________________
( IF i could reach one last time — this was for you. Every line, every sleepless night, every word that tried to make sense of something I never really could. You were the reason it began. And maybe the reason I couldn't end it sooner.
I'm not angry anymore. Just tired. Tired in the way someone gets when they've been waiting for an answer that isn't coming. I used to think if I hold on enough, maybe it would reach you somehow — through the quiet, through the distance, through whatever wall we built between us.
But I think I finally understand now. You protected your heart. I didn't.
Still… I hope you're okay. I hope you sleep peacefully, laugh easily, and never have to feel the kind of ache I carried for you. Because no matter how much it hurt, I'd still rather it be me than you.
This isn't closure. It's just me saying what I never got to — that you meant something real. That you still do.
And maybe, somewhere, that's enough.