He died.
Much like he spent most of his life, his mortal coil met its end as he sat alone in his parent's basement, pants hugging his ankles, the blueish-glow of his PC monitor lighting up the dark circles beneath his eyes. And his desk was littered with used tissues, empty energy drinks cans and the rotting remnants of his terrible taste in snacks.
It happened on a particularly hot Friday evening.
He had just been rejected for his fifth job application that month, his mother threw out his vintage CD collection and ThunderThighs69 had ghosted him for the second time in two weeks. He drowns his misery in sugar-free sodas and suspiciously soggy sushi.
But his third bite would prove his last.
He chokes, collapses and writhes on the floor.
Dead.
Mushed rice oozing from his nose as his computer buffers ads for hot single mothers in his area.
That should have been it. A black void, a light at the end of a tunnel… maybe some angels if he was lucky.
Except... he woke up instead.
And felt nothing.
No pain. No feeling at all.
Just darkness.
An empty void.
Like a mind wrapped in black velvet.
Then a voice.
Faint and faraway at first, but it quickly grew louder… closer… cuter?
"...now I just need to calibrate the neural matrix." the voice comes again, young, feminine and cracking with excitement. "Gum my gears… just look at you, you shiny bastard! A composite of the purest dwarven metal and elven runes. Twenty-four pulse-crystal motors with inertial dampers. A triple-helix weaved, ultrium infused skeleton. A completely modular, omni-directional joint system and to top it all off, your entire outer skin is layered with wraith glass! A masterpiece!"
His mind reels.
"Neural matrix? Ultrium skeleton? Wraith glass?"
None of it makes sense to him.
And then suddenly...
There was light.
His vision clicks on like a blurry camera feed, flickering images of his surroundings into his mind.
He sits in some kind of laboratory. Dark, damp and ancient. Candles burn upside down from the ceiling, stacks of tattered tomes lay scattered across the floor. The walls lined with endless vials of glowing, pulsing and whispering liquids. The stench of strange chemicals hangs heavy in the air.
And before him, a young woman.
A full foot shorter than him. Barely older than 20.
Her brilliant green eyes stare at him from behind a set of big, golden googles. Hair erupting from her head like a raging inferno, its red flames curling in every direction while she brandishes a beaming grin that could shame the sun.
"Yes!" she squeals. "It's working! It's working!"
She bounces around in front of him raving like a mad scientist, her tattered overalls hanging loose off her slender shoulders, barely clinging onto her petite frame.
Then she draws close.
He doesn't know how, but he can feel her breath washing over him as she moves her face within inches of his body, inspecting him closely.
"Ooooh, you're gonna beat 'em like a drum!" she whispers as she slaps a hand onto his metal hip.
Beat who? How? He wonders as his confusion begins to shift into panic.
"Mother!" the young woman shrieks. "He's reeeeeeady!"
Footsteps approach, like the sound of high heels clacking on cold stone. Someone kneels beside him as a soft, warm hand brushes over his shoulders.
"So this is it, Vee? Your masterpiece?" the voice mutters. Mature, smooth and sultry, like warm honey poured over his crotch.
"This construct is gonna make us stinking rich!" the young voice exclaims.
"Well, it looks sturdy enough. Hope it's not gonna break in half like the last one."
"He's got an ultrium skeleton! The Demon Queen herself couldn't put a dent in him if she tried!"
"Good. Time for a test run then," the older voice purrs with a hint of excitement. "Bring him to my room."
Test run? He thinks as his struggles mind under a daze of twisting thoughts.
He is lifted, dropped onto some kind of trolley, and wheeled through a building.
The dark, stone-covered covered lab gives way to what looks like the inside of a quaint cottage with its walls, floors and ceiling all a fusion of stone and carved, polished wood that still seems to bear life as little leaves and branches grow from their knots.
Books, bottles and vials lay littered across the floor while the smell of pungent plants and strange, caustic chemicals lays heavy on the air.
They reach another room, another lab.
But it's different. Warm, bright, the smell of flora almost overpowering. Glowing vials and bottles of strange liquid line shelves along the wall, a massive cauldron sits in its center. And tucked away in a corner, half-hidden under hanging vines, a bed covered in soft linens and shimmering silk.
He's tossed on its soft surface, his heavy body sinking deep into the mattress.
Then her voice comes again.
"Ok, my little ferrous friend." she says softly, voice smooth as sin. "Let's see what you're capable of…"
Suddenly, a thick, warm liquid trinkles between his legs, tingling as it seeps into his alloy frame.
"That should be enough lube." she says. "Now we just twist in the energy resonator… remove the restraining bolts… and—"
A servo clicks.
A joint twists.
His processors whirr to life as strange power surges from between his legs, searing through him like orgasmic lightning. His body lurches, his limbs creak, his vision clears and his hips: Thrusting. Vigorously. All on their own.
He jolts upright with a clanking jerk, non-blinking eye-cameras finding their focus on the woman before him.
Tall, voluptuous, elegantly Elven... and stark naked.
She's beautiful.
No. She is the entire concept of beauty given physical form, he muses.
Curves carved out of dreams. Hair like a waterfall of silver silk and breasts that could topple nations. Her icy-silver eyes carry a look of focused curiosity, like a brilliant scientist with a naughty hypothesis.
She wasn't just a milf.
She was The Milf.
"Ah, you're responding… good." she purrs, tracing a finger along his jaw "Vuvi says you've got infinite stamina… let's test that out, shall we?"
He tries to scream that he's not ready, but finds instead that he had no voice at all.
He lets out a single, short beep instead.
She twirls around, and gently settles her bountiful body into his lap with practiced ease.
"Ohhh… that's cold!" she squeals. "Should have used the fire-slime lube."
As soon as her flesh wraps around the towering glow that pokes out from between his metal thighs, his vision sharpens and his mind is flooded with strange messages.
A glowing interface flickers into existence in front of him. Translucent, glimmering and trimmed in gold.
[Power Source Detected: Spirit Infusion Level – Grade SSS (Divine)]
[Initializing Core Crystal...]
[Welcome, User: UNKNOWN]
[E.R.O.S v6.9 – Performance-Based Auto-Erotic Protocol Online]
[Pulse Crystals: Ready]
[Vibration Dampeners: Ready]
[Gravity Repulsors: Ready]
[Visual Interface: Ready]
[All Systems: Ready. ]
[Initiating TEST MODE. Auto-Thrust Protocol Engaged.]
"Ooooooooh… GREAT MOTHER'S MERCY!" she shrieks, as she slumps back, quivering with delight, hands gripped tight onto his shoulders as he jerks to life like a magically powered jackhammer.
As pleasured confusion denotes across his mind, he comes to a stark and sobering realization.
He died, he realizes, not at all concerned by the realization as the silver-haired goddess bounces on his lap, and somehow he had landed up in heaven.
The thought activates him like a wound up doll, power bursting from him like a roaring engine. He grabs the woman behind her knees, lifts her into the air like a veneration to some higher power, and thrusts.
Thrusts.
THRUSTS!
Her cries of pleasure reverberate through the room like the very walls were sharing her orgasms.
The young woman bursts through the door, goggles on her face, clipboard and quill in hand, and her mouth curled into a proud little grin.
"What did I tell you!? He's my masterpiece!"