We wandered through shrubs, vines, tree trunks and small talk.
The lanky Gimen pushing branches aside, his machete making quick work of the understory. Ponytail and I watching him as we spoke, walking side by side. The toothless one in front of us, shuffling closer, trying to join in.
"So, the only escapee? You must've been quite clever."
"Quite lucky." I corrected.
I bit back the rest. Not knowing how they'd take the truth.
"Lucky? How d'ya mean?" toothless asked.
"I hid. I hid when my mother was slain, I hid when my brothers were captured. When the humans went back home, I ran into the forest."
Of course I hadn't. I could have thought up something less pathetic, but guilt seeks to be punished.
"You... hid?" toothless murmured. Ponytail shot him a sharp glare.
"Don't harass the poor boy! He must be blaming himself enough already."
"...Something like that."
Yet I could tell that neither of them could resist judging me. Or perhaps I'd only imagined it. Now I did not need to blame myself, there were others to do it for me. That didn't stop me from trying.
"So," Ponytail said, trying to change the subject "What's your name anyhow?"
"Ooh, that's right! We forgot to ask 'im!"
"It's Elias. Elias Sune."
"Sune. A fine name, that. A warrior's name. But it's a shame. You'll be the last to carry it."
"My brothers still live. They'll carry it too."
"Afraid not lad."
His tone tightened.
"They'll be slaves. That's all they'll be. That's all humans want. And they cast out the rest."
"Cast out?"
"They take your soul and brand it, reforge it. Until you can read your own full name and not recognise it. Until you can look at your own brother and not remember him."
"How? How's that possible?"
He turned to me.
"Pain. Pain that anyone'd do anything to stop."
Bile erupted in my throat.
"That's why I'll call you Sune." he said.
"What?"
"I'll call you Sune. That'll be your name. You'll carry it on."
"But I already--"
"Last name. A 'last' name. I despise it."
"You hate last names?"
"I hate that they're put last when they're the only name that matters."
"I don't follow."
Ponytail bit his lip, thinking.
"For us Gimen our last names carry no weight in this world. We've got no nobility. No heritage. Our bloodlines hold meaning only to us, and we still put them last. Free to be forgotten."
"I'm sorry? Just because it's last doesn't mean it's 'forgotten'..."
"Think, boy. They call you your first name, a name with no meaning. Then they'll wonder about your last. Ask you again what it was, then forget again."
I studied him. More thoughtful than he first seemed.
"If I were you, I'd never let them forget. I'd wear my family name like armour. Watch the bastards bask in it. You hid before, I'd now stand with courage."
My gaze flicked ahead, avoiding his. His words quieted something in me, offered a path to redemption. It meant nothing to be Elias. Elias didn't know who he was, Sune did. He was a Gimen, a son, and a brother. Now a griever, and nothing more.
I took a while.
"Well? Speak up lad."
"You're right, I'll be Sune. Only Sune."
"Sune it is."
"Love it!" Toothless said.
I smiled for the first time since the raid. This was not absolution, I knew there could be none, and yet for once my gut had stopped splitting.
"What're your names?"
Ponytail gestured to his chest.
"Caruthers. Just Caruthers."
"My name's Benjamin!" the toothless one declared.
"Tell him it's Finlay!" the neckbeard yelled.
"He can hear you, ya' lanky git!"
"Then stop flapping your many chins!"
Benjamin turned back to me, laughing nervously to excuse his friend.
"You heard him. It's Finlay."
"All family names?"
"What else, lad?" Caruthers said. "It's Hengeist tradition."
I nodded, slinking back into my own thoughts.
They'd lasted long enough to have traditions. To joke. To invite strangers with no fear.
What would I see there? Who? What kind of life could I make there?
Then I heard Mickey's cries once again, and none of it mattered. Whatever life I could have made would be cursed, and my debt would hover over me as I lived it, unpaid. I would live on borrowed time, but I wouldn't dare enjoy it. I refused to.
"We're here." Caruthers sang.
I lifted my head.
The forest had ended. Abruptly. Replaced with endless green fields rolling under a pale sky. The modest streaks of sunlight through the canopy now unshackled, striking me like arrows, and even with that I could see that no hideout resided here.
"There's... nothing..."
"Alright, we're not exactly there yet," Benjamin admitted, "But you can see the entrance from here."
"Sune, in the distance, you see the mountain range, right?" Caruthers said, pointing.
My eyes followed his finger. Wrapped around the countryside was a belt of white-capped monuments to stone and scale.
"Yeah..."
Caruthers said nothing. Turning toward me, mischief curling across his mouth.
Hengeist lay in the mountains. To go to such lengths to hide it... what in hell awaited me there?