I chose to heal in silence, not because I was weak but because I didn't want to look so desperate.
It all started in a class full of strangers at first that became family overtime. Two strangers sat together with no idea they were soon going to be the best thing that happened to each other in highschool. They learned to open up a system that was never set for them back in the days and so they found a home rather a safe place, where they poured their thoughts and secrets agued and still forgave each other because that was their first home and they never planned to leave each other. They were just perfect, a friendship one would die for the support, the way they shared everything together, the way yould notice a frowny face when the other ally wasn't around. But all that was spoiled by misunderstanding simple but that destroyed everything they had and for sure that was where silence was ai it loudest.
Debby and Joan had a simple misunderstanding that was a romour spread . Lack of communication made Debby think Joan had now told her secrets to other people which was a promise the would never break.Debby angrily shouted at Joan claiming that she had spilled that cat out of the bag.A misunderstanding arise since Joan was unaware of whatsoever Debby said.Due to trauma unhealed Joan only left with watery eyes since her childhood was so much filled with angry shoutings which made her feel inferior to others. Silentry she tried to compose herself that night and promised herself that they were gonna work things out the following morning. But she could not sleep thoughts crawled in her mind and she wondered what she had done wrong,she was truthful.
The next morning the condition got worse, a letter in her desk from Debby saying that they were already grownups and so she decided to pour her heart out.She said in the letter that she was tired of the friendships since rumours were spreading about her secrets.Joan read the letter as her hand was shaking and tears rolled down her cheeks .Do you think that damaged her?...Yes it did mentally, emotionally and even physically.Her health deteriorated and she had to be out of school often for treatment. On the other hand Debby was doing okay(fake it till you make it)She could show it to anyone her only safe space had only been Joan. Joan wasn't ready for a healthy friendship to falm apart where it was not her fault and when she was in school sheld always aurgest that they should make time to talk things out.It was different Debby would decline every time .Joan never gave up she would try to get to understand why but no answers.Till the day she decided to let go,months later though, she still had hopes that maybe one day they would seat and talk things out.But she came to her senses, the rate her grades were sleeping was alarming.Teachers talked to her to find out if she was okay and she would say yes but deep down she was drowning.
One day she woke up to a realization that she had lost so much weight since she could hardly eat.And she thought about everything and saw how much one-sided the friendship was how she was the only one that offered so much and receiving minimal or even nothing in return.Was it too late?
Though sad she knew she had to learn to let go and more to detach she deserved better.The energy changed and she could no longer follow Debby anymore to beg her to listen to her.She embarked on her studies and day by day her concentration span increased proof that she was doing better.Her grades also made progress as time went by.If only her pillow spoke..it would suggest someone to hug her at least once.At night she would hug he pillow so tight and soak it with tears.
Day in day out the weight in her heart reduced and she could find peace in the class without thinking of the friendship.Debby on the other side noticed the shift of energy.