"I just wanted to say... I love you both."
Their eyes widened slightly.
"And I'm thankful. For everything."
I turned to Mom.
"Especially you. You were my entire world after Dad disappeared. You raised me alone, even in poverty, and never gave up. That's pretty badass, if you ask me."
Then I looked at Alice.
"And you. I still don't understand why you stuck around all these years. But... thank you. Honestly. I don't think I'd have made it this far without you. I might be a silly church rat, but you gave me light. Every time."
Alice trembled. Her lips quivered as tears threatened to fall.
"And when you didn't believe that bastard Sato's lies about me..." I paused. "It made me feel... like—no, it made me realize that we were family."
I laughed softly, even as my chest ached.
"You might think I'm messed up, but if I ever get reborn, I swear I'll attack every girl I find. No more broke, humble Shephat. Nah. I'll be a flirtatious, aggressive predator who takes what he wants!"
Alice covered her mouth, sobbing quietly.
Mom just smiled.
That gentle, motherly smile that breaks you even more because you know it's hiding so much pain.
She stroked my hair. Her own tears rolled down, quiet but steady.
Then she leaned forward, slowly.
Lower.
Lower!
Her pink lips aimed straight for mine—
But she kissed my forehead.
Dammit! I got hard from that misunderstanding!
Thankfully, they were too caught up in their grief to notice. Safe.
"For real though," I continued quietly, "Mom, I know I can't repay all you've done for me. But I did leave you something."
They looked up, confused.
"I've been saving money since I was a teenager. I've always known I wouldn't live long. But I wanted you both to have something. Enough to live comfortably when I'm away—at least middle-class. You deserve that much."
I smiled weakly.
"That's my final love language to you."
Mom's smile finally gave out.
Her groans, her sobs came down hard, ugly and raw as she shivered.
"But... but I want you," she cried.
Sorry, Mother! But my time has come!!
Honestly, I felt like I was cheating both of them. Here they were, crying and mourning like it was the end of the world, while I... felt weirdly fine.
It's like—I was already at peace. I mean, come on. I should've died seven years ago. I've been living on bonus rounds since.
My chapter is over now.
Sure, it hurts that I didn't achieve much while alive. No big dreams checked off. No wild accomplishments. But still...
If Mom takes the money I've saved, she could live comfortably. Maybe even smile a little without forcing it.
That, to me, is achievement enough.
"Sorry, Alice," I turned to her weakly. "I didn't manage to get you anything before going off to join the ancestors..."
She giggled through her tears. "You fool... I don't need anything from the likes of you."
Figures. That's why I didn't bother.
My breath began to hitch.
My insides—cold. Then hot. Then cold again. Alternating like someone was flipping my body through scalding water and ice.
Uncomfortable as hell.
I felt like I was being dipped under water, then pulled out, only to be dunked again.
I knew it. That weird baptism was trying to take me away.
So, I just kept talking.
"Mom..."
"Yes, Shephat?"
"...Take care of yourself. And Alice too, okay?"
"Understood," she whispered, trying not to cry again.
"Mom..."
"Yes, my son?"
"...The porridge yesterday... it was really good."
"...It was actually Alice who made it..."
"...Amazing... What... a wife... material... Mom?"
"Yes, Shephat?"
"...See you..."
"…See you… goodbye, my baby..."
With that, I felt myself slipping deeper beneath the waves—cold, warm, cold, warm. Like life was slowly shutting the lid.
But—
"If you really want to give me something, then—!"
SMOOOOCH!!
Wet. Soft. Flesh on flesh.
My lips were suddenly wrapped in something warm and living.
AHHHHHHHHHH! MY FIRST KISS!!!
Wait... no... damnit, my slutty ex-boss stole that one.
But still!
This one felt earned! Not workplace harassment!
My eyes flew open in shock.
Alive!
And blushing like a schoolgirl!
"Alice... I didn't know you..."
Looking at her face—red, puffy, gorgeous—Alice wore an expression I couldn't quite name. A smile twisted with tears. Were they happy or sad? I couldn't tell.
"I love you, you bastard!" she cried, her voice trembling like glass. (She looked adorable even when she was bawling her eyes out, by the way.)
"In your next life, you better confess to your childhood friend before she hits 37! You dense fool!"
Oof!
Never thought I'd die getting chewed out by the love interest I only just realized I had.
How... tragically stupid.
But I smiled back at her. At Mom. At everything I was leaving behind.
And as I sank back into the warm-and-cold-and-then-warm-again watery void, I clenched a silent promise.
I will confess early next time.
Not just to the childhood friend.
To every woman I lay eyes on!
I'll start young! In case life throws me another random organ-failure incident.
Don't worry, lonely little tail of mine. We're gonna have some real fun this time.
...Unless... we're falling into hell right now.
Wait.
Why's the temperature suddenly rising like this?
I'm not really falling into hell, am I?!
I'M NOT FALLING INTO HELL, AM I?!
But before I could spiral into full-on eternal damnation anxiety, the watery sensation disappeared.
And I felt...
Arms.
Strong ones.
The arms of the devil, perhaps?!
Help me!! Mom! Alice!
I shot my eyes open.
And saw—
Boobs.
Massive, warm, pillowy boobs.
I was pressed flat against one, the kind poets would write sonnets for.
Then I looked up.
And up.
And up.
And up again (actually, it wasn't that high up).
Towering over me was a giant woman with wild red hair, emerald green eyes, and the face of a Greek goddess carved by a dangerously horny sculptor.
"Ehehe," she giggled, beaming down at me. "Has little Alexander awoken?"
Little?!
Alexander?!
I pulled my mouth off the nipple in front of me—this was no time for breast milk—and darted my eyes around.
Yikes!!
I was the little one, indeed!
I tried to push away from her, but her arms were unmovable. So unnaturally strong!
Well, of course she was. I was a baby.
But what the hell is this supposed to mean...?
That I actually... reincarnated?!
{Correct, Master. You have indeed successfully reincarnated as a Guardian Candidat-!}
A Guardian what now?
{At least, let me finish.}