The next morning, my fingers trembled as I zipped my hoodie.Something inside me was unsettled—like my heart knew something was about to change.
Zahid hadn't texted. Not that I expected him to.
But still…
I wanted to hear his voice.Even if it was cold. Even if it scared me.
Because now… silence felt worse than fear.
At university, he wasn't there.No lecture.No message.Just absence.
It pulled at me like a shadow in daylight.
I couldn't focus in class. I couldn't breathe.
The last thing he said to me kept echoing in my mind.
"I've done things no one can forgive."
But I wasn't trying to forgive him.
I was trying to understand him.
And maybe, in some strange way… he was trying to understand me, too.
I decided to wait by the garden near the staff building after class.The place was quiet. Hidden. A place most students never sat in.
He had taken me here once, silently, when we didn't have words.
Now, I waited.
And waited.
Until the wind got colder, and the sky turned orange.
Just as I was about to leave, I heard a rustle behind me.
I turned.
There he was.
His clothes darker than the evening.
Face half-covered.
Eyes like an ocean before a storm.
"Why are you here?" he asked, voice low.
"I… I was waiting for you," I whispered.
He paused.
"For what?"
"For nothing," I said. "And… everything."
He walked closer, boots silent on the grass.He stopped just a step away.
Too close.
But I didn't move.
I didn't flinch.
"Do you want me to tell you the truth, Rida?" he asked suddenly.
My heart skipped.
"What truth?"
He stared at me.
"There's blood on my hands that soap will never wash away.I hurt people. I protect secrets with death. I live in the kind of darkness that swallows people whole."
"And yet…" I said softly, "you brought me home that night when I fainted.You told my father I was safe.You stood by me when I couldn't even stand."
He looked away.
"That doesn't change what I am."
"No," I replied, stepping closer."But it changes what I see."
He turned sharply. "And what do you see?"
"A man who wants to feel again," I said.
For a second, something shattered in his eyes.
A flash of pain.
A memory?
I don't know.
But when he looked at me again, his voice wasn't cold anymore.
"Why aren't you scared of me?"
"I am," I whispered honestly."But I'm more scared of not knowing the truth.And even more scared of losing something I don't understand yet."
He sighed deeply. The kind of sigh that holds years of silence.
"Rida… there are things about me that would break your heart."
I smiled, tears gathering in my eyes.
"My heart's already broken. Maybe it'll finally feel something if it breaks again."
That was when it happened.
His hand… lifted.
Gently.
Softly.
He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
Gloved fingers.
But warm.
And for the first time, he said my name like it meant something.
"Rida…"
We didn't touch again.
We didn't hug.
We didn't kiss.
But something passed between us.
Something that felt louder than all those things.
He left after that. No goodbye. No promise.
Just silence.
But this time, it wasn't empty.
That night, I sat on my bed, hugging my pillow.
Smiling like a fool.
Because the monster behind the mask had touched my hair… and hadn't made me feel fear.
He made me feel real.