She walked up the stairs hearing her every step echo off the walls. She made her way to the office stairwell. Halfway there she heard a cackle and Peeves appeared in her way.
"Oh, me sees an oldie," Peeves said delighted. "You had best not forget your knickers this time, Nymphy. Peevesy remembers the good things."
"Watch it you ghost-wannabe. I know how to exorcise spirits like you. Give me a reason not to?"
"Oh, you were never any fun. Only funny-looking when the boys would ask you to change into someone else. Peeves remembers how you used to cry." Peeves floated away as a spell ricocheted off the wall where he had been moments before. Tonks tried to calm herself, but she was mad, upset, and full of self-loathing.
'That fucking ghost had to bring that up, didn't he? He had to remind me of how I was then. What I did. Next time, I won't hesitate to kill him for good.' She gathered her wits trying to calm herself because she knew that Dumbledore would probe her mind. He would do what he needed to do to find out everything. He only needed to know certain things and she was determined to see that he learned only what he had to know.
Tonks arrived at the entryway and sent a message to Dumbledore using the spell he had devised. A silvery bolt shot from her wand and went through the wall. A few seconds later, the gargoyle moved aside and Tonks was riding the stairs upwards. The office door came into view and Tonks hesitated before stepping forward. She cleared her mind and shielded her thoughts. She stepped forward and the door opened of its own accord.
Tonks entered the circular office to find Dumbledore sitting at his desk looking at a silvery device that wasn't spinning properly. A box was next to the desk and inside were pieces of damaged bits of silver. Dumbledore was concentrating on his wand movements and she could feel the magic at work. The device shuddered and spun slowly until it popped and the spinning stopped. Seconds later the device fell apart and clattered to the desk and floor. The old man sighed and smiled slightly.
"Nymphadora," he began, "For future reference I would advise you to avoid angering Harry Potter to the point that he destroys anything that you enjoy. Unlike most people, when he breaks something it stays broken. I must say that I have not been able to repair a few of my more complicated trinkets. I assure you I have tried and failed every time with this one. The others are in much the same condition." Pushing aside the pieces of the object, Dumbledore said, "Now enough rambling about my excessive bits of junk. You would not be here if it wasn't important. You would never risk a meeting with Peeves for a trivial matter."
"Yes, Albus it is important." Tonks sighed inwardly. She didn't understand how he could know what had just happened with Peeves. "I was at Harry's when 'they' returned. The uncle tried to kill Harry once he got in the house. I must ask that Harry be moved for his own safety."
"Was Harry injured?" Albus seemed more interested in Harry's condition and not the reason Tonks was before him.
"If I wasn't there, you would have a fat Muggle to dispose of and Harry Potter's death to explain. Harry is resting now, but he was hurt badly enough that I had to use some healing spells. Now, what are we going to do about this?"
"What did you do to the Dursleys?"
"Not as much as I wanted," Tonks said, getting angry. "I should have killed the uncle, but I didn't. Harry got to him first. You are lucky that he didn't use any magic to protect himself. Isn't Harry on a short list when it comes to underage magic?"
"Yes, he has received a warning or two, but right now I believe the Minister has more important things to deal with that don't involve reminding the public that Mr. Potter was right and he was wrong. All-in-all, Harry is in a much safer position with the Ministry in mind."
"So, what are your plans on handling the situation?"
"You have taken care of the injuries and warned the Dursleys again?" Albus asked, hinting that the situation was resolved.
"They were warned, but I doubt the uncle learns that fast. Is that all you plan to do?"
"I consider the matter closed, Nymphadora. If any further abuse occurs, I will look into the matter personally. Is there anything else you wished to discuss?"
Tonks couldn't believe it. A student, - an important student, - was being abused by the people that Albus placed him with and he was doing nothing. "You consider the matter closed? How can you consider the abuse of Harry Potter closed? It has occurred for years. Ever since you put him there he has been abused one way or another. How can you?"
"If you look at the bigger picture, Ms. Tonks, you will see that Harry has turned out to be a wonderful person. He only has one more summer with them after this and then he will have no reason to return there again. Have you been getting enough sleep lately? Working all night and then being awake during the day as well can place a dramatic toll on the body."
"I am fine, Albus, but Harry isn't. I find it hard to believe that you plan to do nothing about what happened and what has been happening. At the very least, the Order should be made aware of…"
"I believe us knowing is enough for now. If others learn of this, then there is a greater chance Voldemort will find out. We must limit the number of people who know what. Do you understand, Nymphadora?"
"Do not call me by that name, Sir. You know I hate it." Tonks paused, and controlled her mind again. "I will be leaving now, Sir. I have a few things to take care of before I get back to Harry's. Will I be able to switch schedules with Dung the day after tomorrow? I believe the switch might work better for both of us."
Dumbledore hesitated and Tonks felt a light probing at her mind. She held steady and found Dumbledore looking puzzled. "Yes, I believe the switch would make better sense, but has your work schedule changed? That was the original reason you were put on nights."
"Yes, I have been reassigned to nights," Tonks said. "This will workout better for everyone."
"Very well, I will make the change on Wednesday. Please tell Mundungus that he will need to alter his busy social calendar." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at his own joke.
"I will handle guard duty on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning then. Thank you for your time, Sir." Tonks turned and left the office. She couldn't believe what had been said. He didn't even flinch when he learned what had happened. He either knew beforehand or he didn't care. Either way, Harry had been right. He said no one would care and the one who should care most, didn't. Tonks hurried down the steps and out of the castle. Her plan made even more sense now that she had confirmed the truth. Checking her watch told her that she had a couple hours left before she had to get to Harry's before the uncle made it home. She knew he wouldn't have learned just from one night.
Leaving the grounds at a quickened pace allowed Tonks to Apparate away earlier, she appeared in the Ministry for the second time that day. With her plan coming together and her chances of abandoning it fading, Tonks went in search of Kingsley. He needed to know where she would be or at least a good enough excuse preventing him from asking about her.
Harry sat in his room reading about dangerous curses that were almost banned by the Ministry. "Stab, slash, twist, pull, flick. Eww, that is a nasty one. Liquefy the eyes, how can that be legal?" Harry flipped the page and checked the legal section of the spell. "Oh, there is a counter-curse and a potion to repair it. But it would work in a fight since they can't see until they are treated. The Bone Breaking hex looks effective too. Ooh, Bone Exploding looks really bad. It could kill if you hit them in the right place. A few places actually, but this is war, right? I am literally fighting for my life." Harry looked up and found Hedwig watching him. "Sorry girl, I might be losing my mind since I am talking to myself." Hedwig ruffled her feathers and stuck her beak in the air.
"Sorry, Hedwig, I didn't mean anything by it. I was talking to you, okay. You're the only one who has stuck by me from the beginning no matter what anyone has said." Hedwig calmed down and seemed to relax. Harry returned to his book memorising what he could. As page after page flipped by, Harry found spells that he could use to protect himself and others. A few showed strong promise for serious situations like another Ministry debacle or a graveyard scenario. 'I wish I knew some of these then. Things may have been different. People might still be alive enjoying their lives or making mine better. I will not let you down, Sirius.'
The hours slipped by peacefully in the house with the only conflict occurring in Harry's mind. The battle between his morals and ideals and the reality of his life was a difficult one for Harry to come to terms with. 'To survive, I may need to stoop to their level. To live, I'll probably have to kill.' The turmoil gave Harry cause to reassess many of the things he had seen and done. Alternatives reared their ugly heads at many stages revealing better and worse outcomes. Shaking the images from his head, he said "What did Tonks say? Never hesitate in a fight and worry about things afterward." Harry sighed as he realized that was the only way to win a real fight. The Death Eaters never hesitated. Voldemort never hesitated. Neither ever showed regret for their actions.
The process of attempting to learn the spells and the mental justification for actually using them continued until his stomach gave a rumble breaking his concentration and turmoil. Harry marked his page, closed the book, and stood up. He didn't want to test his luck again since the last time was far too positive of an experience. He contemplated his choices, but always came back to his decision to take control of his life. His 'relatives' would not stop him from enjoying his summer. He needed food and they were not going to stop him from eating either.
A choice made, Harry opened his door and headed down stairs slowly while remaining determined on controlling his life. When he opened the kitchen door, he found his aunt sitting in the same place as before. The dishes had been cleaned away but there she sat reading the same book. Harry watched her for a few minutes seeing her subtlety shake her head a few times and tilt it from side to side as if trying to figure something out.
Choosing to announce his presence, Harry cleared his throat causing Petunia to jump. She turned to look at him and covered the book with the paper again. What startled Harry the most was the look of horror on her face. Not sure how to handle the situation, Harry held his ground and stared at her with a scowl growing on his face. 'She is going to snap at me. I knew it wouldn't last.'
"Harry," she said pausing to correct her voice that cracked. "Help yourself to whatever you want from the pantry and fridge. Vernon is bringing take-away for us. You know he won't let you touch it so get what you can now and be off before he gets here."
"Thank you," Harry said, trying to understand what had happened to his aunt. 'Not what I expected. Maybe it's the Imperious Curse. Maybe Tonks threatened Dudley's life if she was mean to me.' Harry quickly got some cold chicken out of the refrigerator and put it on a plate. He poured himself some juice as well since it had been awhile since his last drink.
Thoughts still rolling through his head distracted him enough that when he opened the pantry and reached in, he bumped a glass jar that held the rare preserves his aunt would make once a year. Without breaking his thought process, Harry instinctively snatched the jar out of the air as it fell. He returned it to its shelf and found the crisps he was after.
Petunia had just finished reading about a Quidditch match Harry had played a few years ago. She doubted that her nephew could play any sport and read the section with a sceptical eye. 'He was always so skinny and weak-looking. He would get killed during a sport even for fun let alone one for real.' After giving him permission to eat, she watched him move about the kitchen. She noticed that he didn't display any of the awkwardness that teenagers often had. His movements were smooth and precise.
When the jar fell, Petunia almost yelled at him, but she stopped herself when his hand shot out and grabbed it instantly. She couldn't believe he could do that. The description of his sport was vague, because it was meant for a reader who already knew the basics. But Petunia had figured out that speed and precision were keys for the 'Seeker' position, and she just saw him use those skills. Petunia debated with herself, but she had to be sure.
She saw her empty teacup sitting on the table. With a quick and very un-Petunia-like thought, she said Harry's name and threw it into the air near him. She watched Harry spin around on his feet and capture her eyes with his. The green held her for only a second then darted away and returned to hers. She saw his hand reach out and save the cup from a loud, disastrous landing.
Harry's stare was all consuming. He held her where she was sitting. She saw him place the cup on the counter while he seemed to be figuring her out like a cat would before striking a mouse. Only when he asked what was going on did she feel the gaze lessen.
"I wanted to see it for myself, that's all," she said. "Is that what you do? You catch things? That is what your sport's about?"
Harry didn't know what to think. She had just asked him about Quidditch. A wizard sport was being talked about in this house by her own choice. Harry scanned the room quickly looking for anything out of place and focusing on the only thing, the book that his aunt was hiding from him. The paper looked like the parchment Flourish and Blotts used to wrap their books when they were sent by owl. Harry saw a bit of twine sticking out of the book too.
Something was wrong and it involved that book. It was the only thing that made sense. Harry took two steps toward the table. Petunia looked down at the paper and slid her chair backwards slightly, making a scraping sound on the floor. Harry pulled the paper away and found a moving picture of himself looking up. A scowl appeared on his face. This was not a good situation.
"How did you get this book?" He wanted the truth and he was going to get it.
"Why?" Petunia asked with a smirk. "Is it all a lie? Did you get someone to write all this as a joke?"
"I didn't even know this book existed," Harry snapped. "But you haven't answered my question."
"I sent it, Harry," was Tonks's cheery answer as she entered the room. "I bought it and sent it here for her to read. She wanted to know," Tonks paused, "well, she was somewhat interested," She amended after Harry gave her a look of disbelief. "It looks like she's been reading it too. Why not let her finish it? She might treat you better if she knew the truth."
"I highly doubt anything written about me, especially in a book, will be accurate. No one knows the real truth of any of it except me and a few others who were there. Only one article has been accurate and Hermione more or less wrote it. This is most likely just more lies about me either to make me better or worse than I really am."
Harry stared down both of the women in the room. He wanted to leave and vent his anger. 'Why can't I be a normal person?'
"Did you really lose all the bones in your arm?" Petunia asked tentatively, not truly recognising the anger Harry was trying to contain.
"What?" Harry couldn't believe she had asked that question. "In second year?" A nod. "Yeah. Idiot teacher tried to mend the bones, but he vanished them instead. Hurts to regrow them and the potion tastes dreadful. At least they got that right but what about the real stuff? Really messed it up, I am sure. They always do."
"Dementors, a lot of them, just like last summer?"
"Third year, which time?" Harry felt like he was in some twisted dream where everything was the opposite of reality.
"At the end of school, I guess." Petunia seemed more inquisitive than judgmental for the first time in her life.
"They were trying to kill Sirius," Harry paused and fought off the sad thoughts that tried to overtake him. "I guess they were trying to kill me too, but they'd almost got his soul. So I used my Patronus and saved us. There were only about a hundred of them. It wasn't like someone was shooting spells at me or anything. That was the next year." Harry went quiet dealing with his dark thoughts and emotions.
"A hundred of them?" Tonks knew a little bit about the incident, but she didn't know the details. "How in the name of Merlin did you fight off a hundred Dementors? Most people can't fight off one let alone multiples."
"He fought off, two was it, last summer and saved my Dudley," Petunia defended much to Harry's shock. "Is more than one really that much of a difference?"
"You have no idea of the difference when there are more of them," Tonks was openly gaping at Harry. "I've been tested against two of them, and I barely made it. If there had been three, I would've needed to be rescued. It was part of my final phase to graduate from the Auror Academy."
"I did what needed to be done," Harry said quietly. "I always have. I've never had a choice in the matter, really. Have to stay alive, right?"
Tonks was getting depressed listening to the casual way Harry talked about deadly situations. "Harry, how many times has your life been in imminent danger?"
"Ha ha ha," Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Define 'imminent danger' please. Voldemort I will give you, but falling from a broom or flying away from a dragon would be a matter of opinion wouldn't it?"
"Anytime your life could have ended by the action of others and dragons count." Tonks couldn't help but be surprised as Harry grew very serious and started thinking. He ran out of fingers quickly.
"I'd say at least twenty times, but I am probably missing some or counting them differently than you would. That's as good as I can guess without having Hermione here to add them up. She would know better than I would actually."
"Yet you're still here," Tonks smiled, trying to cover up her awe. "Anyway, I figured your aunt might like to read a little bit about you. I've heard that this was the most accurate book about you."
"Is a Basilisk real?" questioned Petunia.
"Yep, dirty great snake too. I got lucky that time thanks to Fawkes. Well, I'd best get out of here before Uncle Vernon shows up. I would like to talk to you, Tonks."
"I'll be with you shortly, Harry," Tonks answered. "I have a few things to discuss with your aunt. Go on, I'll be fine."
Harry gathered his food and left the kitchen giving a sharp glare to Tonks as he left. He went up to his room and started eating while waiting impatiently for her to come up.
Tonks looked at the book and Petunia. "I'm glad you started reading that. I see you've paid attention to it. I guess it is somewhat factual since Harry didn't make much mention of things being wrong."
"I'm not sure I can believe much of it. It's all so, unnatural. How can all these things happen to him? How can these things happen at a school?"
"Hogwarts is a different kind of school, no doubt. But it's the best we have here. The thing is, Harry is the difference. He's not like anyone else. He is Harry Potter. He's been a celebrity since he was one year old and his celebrity status is only increasing. There's nothing he can do about it either since he's only being himself. Think on that, why don't you. Just being Harry, and he is more famous than anyone else. Every witch and wizard in the world knows his name.
"Keep reading that book and then think about the boy who grew up here. They are the same person. Now, I have someone waiting to yell at me for giving you that book. I'd best not put this off any longer. Keep that 'man' under control or last night will look like a party compared to the next time." Tonks turned and left the kitchen steeling herself for the coming storm. Harry was going to be mad.
The door opened and Harry turned on the spot. His eyes blazed with a fire that could set the room alight. Tonks entered the room and closed the door. She waved her wand and cast a silencing charm. 'She knows what's coming. She knows and she's going to take it because she knows what she did was wrong.'
"What in the bloody hell do you think you are doing giving that woman a book about me?" Harry said biting off the ends of his words. "What did you hope to accomplish, huh? Why the fuck would you do that? Tell me."
"I had a discussion with her this morning when I left and she seemed interested."
"Ha, not likely," Harry quipped. "She only wants information to use against me. They'll probably put out an advertisement offering me to Voldemort for a few quid. Wait 'til Vernon gets wind of this. He'll jump at the chance to be rid of me and make a little money on the side. Besides, you had no right to do it. This is my sentence. Every summer I am locked away here until Dumbledore sees fit to release me. Now, you're trying to make it worse. Do you hate me that much?"
"Harry, I don't hate you, quite the opposite. I'm trying to help, and I think it's working. She seemed intrigued and has she yelled at you or been mean yet?"
"Not yet."
Tonks looked victorious.
"Give her time, she'll sweep in and get you when you aren't expecting it. That's her way, you know. Oh wait, you don't know, do you? I do 'cause this is where I grew up. I know how things work around here. I don't need your help fixing things. I had my own plan for that."
Tonks's patience was running out. She could take a little bit of dressing down, but this was getting irritating. "And just what were you going to do? Do magic and get expelled?"
"Can't happen," Harry said definitively. "Dumbledore wouldn't let it happen. He can't let it happen. If I am expelled, he loses and Voldemort wins. As I said, never happen."
"You're sure of that, aren't you?"
"Yep, one of the few things I am sure of. I don't know who I can trust, but I do know that I can't be expelled. He would lose control over me. He couldn't monitor me as closely as he wants. I would be free and he can't have that. Did the same thing to Sirius and look what happened there. I won't be controlled like that anymore. So you can go back to him and tell him off for me."
"I'm not here as his spy, Harry," Tonks was beginning to see that this had less to do with the book and more to do with the Headmaster. "I'm your guard for the night and I'm here as a friend. You asked me to help you last night and I plan to do just that. Do you remember asking?"
"No, I don't remember anything about last night after I came upstairs. What did I say?" Harry looked nervous for the first time Tonks could remember and it wasn't a comforting sight.
"You asked for my help in learning things. You said that it was your job to kill 'Him'. If you died, he won. I'm not sure what makes you think that, but that's what you said."
Harry looked downright sick at that point. His eyes were shifting around the room quickly searching for something that wasn't there. He almost had a caged animal feel about him. Tonks stepped back to the door afraid to find out what would happen if he decided to act. This man had stood up to You-Know-Who more than once and lived. He'd done something no one else had, and she didn't want that ability directed at her.
"Harry, what's wrong? You didn't say anything wrong. Please, calm down. Things aren't that bad, are they?"
Harry had let his worst fears out and Tonks heard them. Thinking fast Harry decided he should work with what he had and not make things up. "Think about it, Tonks. How else could it end? It isn't like 'He' has it in for someone else, is it? I am the only one that got away. I'm a living example of his failure. Everyday I live is that much more of an insult to him. I'm proof 'He' isn't infallible and he hates me for it. Moreover, Dumbledore won't kill him. He could have, but didn't. I watched him let 'Him' go."
"Then use that Harry. You're an example for everyone."
"And how would I do that from here? The Ministry is just waiting for a chance to try and get me chucked out of school or tossed into Azkaban if that doesn't work. They tried before. And who knows what Dumbledore is waiting for. Why would I care about all those people? They'll turn on me the first chance they get. They always do."
"Harry, you need to take this one step at a time. Don't get all worked up thinking of everything at once. You're quick on your feet, but strategy isn't your strong point."
"Ha, you're right about that. Just ask Ron about chess. I couldn't beat him if he was in a coma."
"There's the happy Harry I want to see more of. I have the same problem, Harry. I can think on my feet, but planning isn't what I do best." At Harry's smirk, Tonks dove for him and knocked him over. She landed on top of him and held him down as best she could. "You were about to make a crack about my balance issues, weren't you, git?"
"Yes, Tonks," Harry said jokingly, but quickly got a serious look on his face. "I was going to comment on how well you walk on your own two feet."
With Tonks thinking about his words, Harry rolled them over. "Now, why did you give her that book?"
"Harry, we've been over that already. I gave it to her to help you while you're here. Now, on Wednesday, I might have another - a much better way - to help you. I'll be here Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Now, unless you plan to get more familiar with me, cutie, I think we should sit down like civilized adults."
Harry looked at the situation. Tonks legs were on either side of his, and he was holding her arms above her head. His head was inches away from hers and he could feel the rise and fall of her stomach against his lower regions. Having a pathetic amount of experience with this type of situation and conversation, Harry stood up quickly and turned red from embarrassment.
Tonks watched as her comment had the desired result. Harry was embarrassed and he was cute like that too. She'd paid attention to what had been said at Grimmauld place when it had been only the girls. Ginny had a terrible infatuation with Harry; and Hermione, being the diplomat, had said that he didn't know what to do about it since he'd never known love or affection. Tonks figured that Harry had gotten over that in the past year. He'd grown into himself at least.
Harry sat down and fought the battle with his blush. 'I am not going to turn bright red in front of her. She's helping me and I am not going to do this. She's one of the only people who treat normally'
Tonks watched as the blush faded quickly. She didn't know what to do. Blushes didn't fade that fast. Something caused it and she had to find out what it was.
"Harry, how did you do that?"
"What, deciding to have at me some more?" Harry said trying to keep his head up.
"Nothing like that, Harry. People can't get rid of blushes that quick. I can, but you know why I can. Now, have you ever done anything like that before? Changed any physical things that can't be changed?"
"Not that I can remember, Tonks." Harry was trying to think of anything other than Tonks lying beneath him. Those thoughts would just get him in trouble. "I guess I made my hair grow once. Aunt Petunia cut all of mine off once and I didn't want to go to school looking like that. I was enough of an outcast as it was without being the bald headed freak too." Harry saw her eyes widen and thought she was trying to make him feel better. "Thanks for trying Tonks, but I can handle embarrassment on my own."
"I'm serious, Harry. You could be like me. There's a chance based on what you said. Of course, there are varying levels of Metamorphmagus. I'm the only one as advanced here. There are a few others who can hide their wrinkles or change the tint of their hair. None of them can change as much as I can. Now," Tonks said bouncing on the bed making it squeak, "what else have you done?"
Harry saw the eagerness on her face and in her body movements. Laughing to himself, he knew it was only a matter of time before she fell off the bed at the rate she was going. Concentrating, Harry tried to think of any other times he had changed his appearance. None came to mind. Shaking his head, "Sorry, Tonks, I can't think of any others. I've wanted to vanish this scar more times than I can count, but it has never worked."
Undeterred, Tonks explained, "Did you really want to hide it Harry? It is a part of you. You have had it as long as you can remember. Have you really, truly, wanted to hide it?"
"Yes, I hate this damn thing. It makes me stand out. It makes me that much more different than everyone else."
"Is that a bad thing? You are different. I'm different. We all are."
"But do you get stopped on the street and gawked at because you can look different? Do you get written about because of something you 'didn't' do? I didn't die and everyone is in awe of that. Big deal. What kind of life have I had up to this point, huh? Locked away here or fighting to stay alive out there."
"Harry, you are who you are. People care about you for who you are, not what you have done. You really need to stop getting down on yourself. It's unbecoming." Tonks screwed her face into a look of superiority and stuck her nose in the air and made it grow a little bit.
"Cute. Thinking of challenging my aunt with that act? You would fit in perfectly with her crowd. I am surprised they ever wear the right shoes with the way they're always looking up."
"Funny, Harry. I spend most of my time looking down to avoid tripping over things."
"Do you really think I'm a Metamorphmagus? No joking around, am I?"
"Let's see if you are, OK?" Tonks tapped Harry with her wand a few times and mumbled some words. She continued the actions all around his body. "What do you know about us, Harry? Our limitations or abilities."
"I only know what I've seen from you, Tonks. Is there more than that?"
"Harry, I am the most accomplished Metamorph in the country, well, known to the Ministry at least. I can change my face, hair colour and length, the tone of my skin, colour of my eyes, too many things to say really. I do have limits though. I can't change my body size more than a little bit. My bones and joints aren't really changeable. I can grow or shrink about an inch or so, but I can't get as tall as you. I can change my soft features, if you get my meaning, but the hard ones are beyond my ability. Any questions so far?"
"You can change some things, most things, but for the most part your body stays the same?"
"Yes, I can't change my core. I can't change any of my vital organs like the heart or lungs. I could try, but I could mess up and kill myself. Early on I decided to leave those things alone. It just wasn't worth it really."
"So, what do you really look like? No changes or anything like that. What does Tonks really look like?"
"You want to see the real me, huh? I'm plain, Harry. I like the added bits of flair, honestly. If you really want to though…" At Harry's nod, Tonks closed her eyes and focused on returning to her normal self.
As Harry watched, the heart-shaped face remained with its features keeping their sharpness, but the hair lengthened to shoulder length and turned a dark brown. Harry watched her figure for any changes and found that her breasts seemed to grow a little bit as her shirt stretched more across the front. Tonks opened her eyes and looked right at Harry finding him looking intently back.
"I like it, Tonks. It fits you. I guess it should since it's you." Harry let his eyes wander around her face studying her features more intently. Her eyes caught his and some of the nervousness he had felt faded away.
"Most people wonder what I can become, not what I started off as. I still like the colour though, so with your permission, dear sir…" Tonks scrunched up her face. The short pink hair returned and the breasts shrunk back to their previous size. "Would you like to work on this and see if you have the ability?"
"Can I do it without a wand? I don't want to test my theory that I can't be expelled just yet."
"Yes, everything's based on willpower and intent just like most magic." Harry got a puzzled look at that statement. "Oh, that's right you are only up to fifth year material. You'll get exposed to all that this year. Well, no time like the present."
Tonks shifted herself slightly and assumed a tone a teacher would use. "Now, class, magic is made up of three parts: willpower, intent, and magical ability. Wand movements and words only assist wizards in casting spells because they force the proper mental state and intent when casting a spell. Now, class, have you ever seen or heard Dumbledore do a swish and flick or utter the words Wingardium Leviosa?"
Harry smirked at her tone but couldn't honestly remember Dumbledore using words to cast his spells. Shaking his head, Harry thought if he could do the same. Announcing your spells was a decided disadvantage in a fight.
"You are correct, he doesn't. Dumbledore performs wordless magic or intent-driven magic. His intent is his words. He commands the magic to happen and it does. It helps that he has more magical ability than anyone else, but that's beside the point. No one can do anything about their magical power unless they are willing to delve deeply into Dark Magic. Now, since there is only one of you," Tonks smiled brightly at Harry, "I will ask you for some examples of intent magic."
Harry decided to play along since things were going well. "I have had problems of accidental magic since I was about three, I guess."
"Harry, Remus told me about problems you had when you were only a month old. I believe your father ended up with a nappy on his head once for teasing you. I know Sirius used to get the soiled nappies though. I believe he was more consistent in his 'fun'. I've heard that you had very few accidental magic episodes and more intentional magic episodes. Think hard about this."
Harry racked his brain thinking of all the times he'd caused things to happen that shouldn't have occurred. "I was being chased by Dudley and his friends at school and the next thing I knew I was on the roof. I turned my teacher's hair blue. Grew my hair. I blew up my aunt third year, but that was accidental."
"At third year, Harry, you have control of your magic unless it is a life or death situation. My guess is that was a combination of both intentional and accidental. I get the impression your anger is an effective trigger for your magic judging by what happened last night."
"What do you mean?"
"You were mad and I saw your aura, Harry. A real, visible aura that you sustained until you started up the stairs and began to lose consciousness. That is a form of willpower magic, but it isn't really a separate type of magic. It's only a driving force that works with your intent. I will explain it all later. Keep thinking of examples."
"I guess I opened my cupboard, too, when I was leaving here once. Last year when the Dementors were attacking us, I'd lost my wand. I couldn't see it, but I was calling out Lumos trying to find it. The wand lit up and it was a few feet away from me. Other than that, I can't think of anything else. Does that help?"
"Yes, it does. You've quite a few examples, Harry. That's a good thing because it will make this very easy for you to understand. I told you that words and movements are just triggers for the magic to happen. People with little magic in them or who are weak-minded need those triggers to cast spells. Inexperienced people need the same aids. That's why they teach it in school. Everyone will be on the same level then, the powerful and gifted as well as the weak and new.
"Now, most of your examples are of intent or willpower. You wanted or needed something to happen so it did. You wanted to get back at Sirius for teasing you, so you levitated a dirty nappy onto his head. He loved that story by the way. He was so proud of his Marauder-in-training, as he put it. He was a bit touched in the head, but I loved him all the same. You getting away from your cousin, your hair, your wand lighting up; are all examples of your intent to achieve a specific outcome. Your willpower drives your intent. I can intend to Apparate to China and I can put all my willpower into it, but my magical ability won't let it happen. I do not have enough magic to do it. If I am fighting a mental battle with someone and we have the same level of intent and magical ability, our willpower will decide the victor. Do you understand?"
"You mean like Legilimency and Occlumency?"
"You know about that? How? Better yet, why?"
"Dumbledore had Snape trying to break into my mind last year since Voldemort can do it. They were trying to get me to a point where I can block out his intrusions. I failed at it. Snape isn't a good teacher to begin with, but when you're doing things like that. Well, I am sure you can understand." Judging by the look of horror on her face, Harry figured she understood completely.
"He had Snape teaching you that? Is he mad? Are you sure he hadn't been at the bottle when he made that brilliant decision?"
"He said Snape would be the best person for the job since he understood how Voldemort used Legilimency. The lessons were a bloody nightmare; they didn't help at all."
"No shite they were worthless. That git couldn't teach a cat to meow let alone someone he hates to protect their mind. I doubt he tried very hard, too. I bet the bat just loved beating up on you, didn't he?"
"Got it in one, Tonks. That was until I looked into his Pensieve and saw some memories he wanted to remain hidden. He kicked me out after that. I managed to see some of his memories though, but it only happened after he got me mad. I guess, looking back at everything, anger does seem to work for me."
"We can talk about that later. Anyway, that's exactly it. You can have all the intent you want, but it would be your willpower that wins that fight. Magical ability won't play into it at all. You learned about the Imperious Curse, right?"
"Yeah, the fake Moody put all of us under it during fourth year. I was the only one to fight it off."
Another horrified expression told Harry that he had done something else weird. "What is Albus doing at that school? Has he lost his mind?" Tonks was mostly talking to herself. "So, you were the only one to fight it off?" At his nod, she continued. "That's an example of willpower. It's completely and totally, willpower. I hope that's the only time you have had to do that."
"Nope, Voldemort got me with it in the graveyard after the Triwizard Tournament. I fought that one off too. I also had the whole Priori Incantatem thing too. That was willpower, right?" Harry saw looks of awe and horror on Tonks face. Since she was a Metamorph, it was kind of funny to watch her face contort to accommodate both expressions.
Tonks recovered somewhat and managed to get her mouth under control enough to speak. "You fought off You-Know-Who's Imperius Curse? That was what you said, right?" She couldn't believe he had done that. She couldn't believe he had just said it like it was no big deal. "I am in awe, Harry. That's an amazing feat. I have no idea what you mean by the Priori Incantatem though. I will just take your word for it."
"So, I understand the first two, but what's Magical Ability then?" Harry asked trying not to make a big deal out of something else different about him.
"The raw magic inside of you. You are born with it. Purebloods are mistaken in the belief that they are born with more 'magic' in them than others. If it were true, then why are more Squibs born to purebloods? Answer that, if you can? An example would be your ability to cast the Patronus Charm. That takes both magical ability and intent. If you don't have enough of either, you get mist or nothing. Now, I see you ready to say it's the proper emotions that cause that, right? Well, aren't emotions just another form of intent? They have their own kind of power to them. Happy, sad, anger, hate; they carry their own intent in a way.
"The Unforgivables carry with them a life sentence because they are driven by intent. You cannot accidentally cast one. You must want to kill, to hurt, or to control another. A person can fight off two of them. The Imperius is the easiest to fight off if you want to call it that. I can't fight it off. It would take someone quite a bit weaker than me casting it before I could fight it off. The Cruciatus Curse would be next. I have heard of only a few people in all of history who were able to fight off the effects of the curse and that is more rumour than fact as far as I can tell.
"I know you have felt that one, Harry. I know that You-Know-Who had you under it. I know it hurts, but he's probably the worst there is with that spell. You lived through it, but I thought I was going to die when we had our test with that one. I am very in tune with my body. It's part of being a Metamorph. It hurt me worse than the others."
"Bellatrix is pretty good with it too. I, I, everything we talk about stays between us, right?" Tonks nodded her head. "I tried it on her, you know. After she killed Sirius I wanted her to hurt. I felt I'd earned the right. I was justified in using it, but it didn't work properly. It only lasted a few seconds and then she was on her feet again. She mocked me and proceeded to give me a lesson in how to use the curse. I'll remember that lesson next time I meet her."
Harry had became more vengeful as he spoke. The room seemed to cool as his mood got darker. Tonks felt the power in his voice. It was palpable. She didn't know whether to agree with him or talk him out of it. He'd just admitted to using an Unforgivable. A teenager had cast an Unforgivable Curse, with little to no training, and he did it against one of the most accomplished witches in recent history.
"Harry, I am surprised that you were able to cast the spell at all. Anger doesn't drive it. You have to have the intent and power to cast the spell, but to sustain it you must stay focused on your intent and the result. The spell is very complex and you managed it, at least a little, on a very dangerous person. My aunt has killed and tortured so many people in her life. The fact that you survived the experience means a lot in my book.
"Harry, I'm going to tell you how I live my life as an Auror. It's the same thing soldiers live by. I'm going home at the end of the day. I'm going to live through this. I fight for myself, but I fight for my buddy, too. I fight, because he fights. I win, because he wins. In the end, after it's all over, if I live and my buddy lives, I did the right thing.
"Do you regret what you did, Harry?"
"No, I only wish that it had worked better that's all. I want her to hurt. I want to see her suffer. She ended a good man's life that day and she was happy about it. I want her to know what it feels like to hurt that much. She told me I had to enjoy it, but the way you explained it makes more sense. I think I could cast it on her again if I get the chance. I hope it's soon though." Harry wore a vengeful look on his face as his mind drifted back to Sirius falling through the veil.
"Well, on that happy note, back to magical ability. The duration and affect of a spell is dependant mostly on your power. The more powerful you are, the longer the spell lasts. Transfiguring an object will only last a certain length of time for most people. Conjuring is the best example of this. Conjuring something takes a lot of power, which is why not many people can do it very well. The size of the object also affects the power needed and the time it lasts.
"This is why we buy our clothes instead of conjuring them. Nasty surprise for all when your spell fails, eh? Well, maybe not for the women, but you get my meaning. Same for food too. Your body wouldn't do well if things started disappearing inside of it. Any questions?"
"No, it all makes sense to me. So, what do I have a lot of?" A refocused Harry asked, wanting to reassure himself of the mechanics.
"You have willpower, that's undeniable. You have power. I have felt it a couple times and your spell work is example enough. You have intent when it's needed. I think it's safe to say you have all of them, Harry. I wouldn't want to be on the other end of your wand. You only need to work on using them. Think outside of the Hogwarts's curriculum tonight and tomorrow. You might just get to practice it a little bit this summer."
Harry could tell Tonks was holding something back and he wanted to know what it was. He didn't like to be the last to know things. He stared into her eyes and willed himself to know what she was hiding. He caught a brief image of himself casting spells in a large room with Tonks watching him before he felt himself being mentally pushed out of her mind. The next thing Harry saw was Tonks looking at him.
Tonks felt the slight intrusion on her mind, but didn't know how it had happened. Harry had entered her mind and he did it quite easily. She summed up all her strength and pushed him out of her mind as strongly as she could. Once she had successfully removed Harry from her mind, she found herself breathing heavily and looking at a calm Harry staring at her with a slightly confused look on his face.
"How did you do that?"
"You were hiding something from me and I've had bad experiences with people hiding things from me. I just wanted to know what was going on, and I was in your mind. I apologise, but it just kind of happened."
"Well, you were very good at what you managed to do. It took everything I had to force you out. Were you trying to stay inside my mind?"
"No. Once I figured out what was going on, I just kind of waited for you to throw me out."
"You mean you were just waiting there? You weren't trying to stay and look around?"
"No way. I've had Snape in my head too many times messing about like that. I wouldn't do that to you, Tonks."
"Well, that was willpower, Harry. Your intent got you in the door, but your natural willpower kept you there and made it very hard to remove you. I'm rather skilled at both Legilimency and Occlumency too. If you would like me to help you with it, I can try. I couldn't be any worse than Snape at least."
"Ha, you would be a much better teacher than he could ever be. You don't hate me for one. I'd gladly accept your help, Tonks. I need every bit of it I can get. The explanation about magic helped a lot. Why don't they tell us these things when we start school? It would have helped me quite a bit. I am not much of a book learner. I just do it and figure things out as I go."
"I try my best, Harry. I am glad it helped somewhat." Tonks was happy. She had helped teach Harry something.
"You were brilliant, Tonks. Thank you."
Tonks couldn't help but bounce up and down on the bed a little bit. She was very pleased with herself.
Harry saw it happen in slow motion. The bed squeaked with every bounce. Tonks got a little air with her final bounce and to her detriment shifted her position. Harry knew what was going to happen and watched her land on the edge of the mattress. It registered on her face a moment before gravity took over completely, and Tonks slipped off the edge and fell to the floor with a crash. "Oof. That hurt my bum."
Harry couldn't help but laugh. It was the funniest thing that had happened all day. Harry only laughed louder when Tonks started laughing from the floor. Harry leaned over the bed and offered a hand up. Tonks's gleaming smile told him everything was all right. She took his hand and began to pull herself up.
The door burst open and a very unhappy uncle stood in the doorway, red faced and puffing away like he had just ran up the stairs. Harry turned to the interruption and sighed, realising that the last few hours had gone too well considering his luck. Harry turned back to look at Tonks and found her smile faltering.
"I knew it!" Vernon bellowed. "I knew you were nothing but a whore. I know what you were doing up here with the Boy. I heard the bed squeaking. Don't act like I made it up. I want you out, NOW!"
Harry finished pulling Tonks up onto the bed and stood up to face his uncle. "I warned you to watch what you said to Tonks. You have gone too far, Vernon. You will not speak to her that way. I will not let you." The room dropped in temperature and Harry stepped towards his uncle. "You will apologise, now. Then you will leave us alone. We weren't doing what you suggested. Being fully clothed should have been a hint."
"I will do no such thing, you ungrateful son of a bitch," Vernon roared, but didn't step forward. "I should've chucked you out the day we found you. I knew you would be the ruin of this family. I will not have your kind here anymore. Out, out, OUT!"
"Vernon," called a smallish but curt voice from the hallway. "He's clothed, so they weren't doing, that. They could hurt you if you keep this up. Please, let's go back downstairs." Aunt Petunia stood in the hallway behind Vernon looking small but determined. "You remember when he got mad at Marge. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. Please."
Vernon looked at his wife. He had forgotten about that. The boy did that without his stick and there was another one with him. He was clothed and so was she. He saw her wand pointed at him and it was slightly glowing at the tip. Deciding to make a tactical retreat, Vernon swallowed his words and took three steps out of the room never turning his back on his nephew. Once in the hallway, Vernon took a deep breath, thrust his chest out and went downstairs. Petunia quickly closed the door and hurried after her husband.
"She reasoned with him. She's never done that before. She always let him do whatever he wanted."
"She might have seen what the rest of us noticed a long time ago. Now, do you really understand how magic is used? I tried my best, but I don't know if it worked for you. Everyone's different when it comes to this."
"I get it. It makes sense. The only problem is practicing it and I can't do that here."
"In a few days you might be able to, Harry." Watching his eyebrows shoot up in anticipation, Tonks figured she should clarify a little bit. "I can't say more than that, so don't you go digging around for it. I've still not recovered from the last time. Just practice using your intent and willpower to make your magic happen. Everyone can do a little wandless magic from time to time, and I think you'll be better than average at it. Anyway, wandless magic is untraceable by the Ministry. Now, it's late and you should get to sleep. We talked for a long time about things. If you have any questions, just ask."
"Where are you going to sleep then?" Harry asked looking around his small room. There was only the bed and he was planning to sleep in it.
"I'll do what I did last night, Harry." Tonks stared at Harry waiting for him to get ready for bed. "What? Aren't you going to brush your teeth or something?"
"I'm waiting for your answer actually. Where are you going to sleep?"
"I'm going to bunk with you, of course. Why, do you have a problem with that?"
Harry didn't know what to do about what Tonks had said. Thinking fast he said, "No, no problem. I just don't know how you want to do this?"
"Oh, this was so much easier when you were unconscious. You lay down. I lay down. Then we get comfortable and go to sleep. Boy, Harry, you act like you've never done this before."
"I haven't, Tonks. This will be a first as far as I can remember."
That was not what Tonks had expected to hear. "You mean to tell me you've never slept with a woman? Even the sleeping part?" Harry shook his head confirming what she heard and destroying what she had thought about the Boy-Who-Lived. "I figured you for a lady's man, Harry. Athlete, cute, hero; you have it all. I figured you to have a long list of ladies waiting to keep you warm at night."
"Nope. My first shot at a relationship failed spectacularly. I really didn't have the time to get another one. I doubt many women would want to date someone like me."
"Oh, no. They would want the ugly ones or maybe an arse." Tonks smiled letting him know she was just playing around. "You should try, Harry. You're only young once and Hogwarts is full of women wanting the same thing."
Trying to turn the tables and save himself from more shame, Harry said what came to mind first. "Speaking from experience, Tonks?"
"Maybe, but that's for me to know and you to find out."
Harry hung his head hiding his red face. 'I set myself up for that one and she took her shot.' Cutting his losses, Harry left his room and got ready for bed. Tonks laughed to herself. She had got Harry to blush twice in one day. He really wasn't the suave man she had expected. He was more of the clueless young man they all were at that age. When Harry came back, he just stayed near the door.
"Come on, Harry, in you get. I'll just slide in where I can find room." Seeing his disbelief, Tonks grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him to the bed. "Honestly, must the woman show the man everything?"
"I think I've had enough innuendo for the evening, Tonks. Thanks." Harry got into bed and chose the side closest to the door. If his uncle got any crazy ideas and found the courage, Harry would be the first one to get it. Tonks could get away then.
"Settled, Harry?" Tonks took Harry's annoyed look as confirmation and jumped over him to get to the open space. "More than enough room, Harry. If we fit together tonight like we did last night, then there will be enough room for a third if you have someone in mind. Do you?"
"One is enough, thank you. I wouldn't want to get ahead of myself now would I?"
"That's a very mature way of approaching it, Harry. Now if you start getting too frisky, I will let you know by smacking you."
'One step forward, two steps back.' "Thanks for the warning, Tonks. I'll keep that in mind." Harry found himself looking into a pair of dark eyes that didn't seem to stop. He watched her hair lengthen and darken. She had changed into the real Tonks. "Did you do that last night?"
"No, I stayed the same Tonks last night. As a peace offering for my bad behaviour, I will be the real me. Only tonight though or it could become a habit."
Feeling sleep trying to overtake him, Harry couldn't help but think of how nice a place he was in at that very moment. "Thanks, Nymphadora, I appreciate it."
Tonks wanted to yell at him, but she couldn't because he was being sincere. 'Might have overdone the sleeping charm a little bit, but he never would have fallen asleep at the rate his heart was beating.' Tonks watched Harry sleep for a few minutes before feeling herself beginning to drift off. Testing the link to the wards, she found everything as it should be. The last thought to cross Tonks's mind was how things could change for Harry in the next few days. 'He will be a different person if things happen the way they should. He will see things differently and act differently. Am I doing the right thing by helping him?'