I woke at the first blush of dawn, golden light spilling across the edges of my bed like a warm whisper. For a moment, I didn't move.
Caspian's arms were wrapped tightly around me, one leg tangled over mine. His breath brushed the nape of my neck, nose nestled in the curve of my shoulder. He looked so serene, I didn't want to wake him, but something worrisome gnawed at my soul.
I turned slowly in his arms to face him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, the calm curve of his lips.
My fingers rose without permission, gently brushing across the features I knew so well, the round warmth of his eyes, the bold line of his nose, the fullness of his mouth, the strong cut of his jaw. For an unexplicable reason I felt the need to memorize him, all of him, just in case.
Then I leaned in, pressing a kiss to the tiny crease forming between his brows, that made him stir. And there it was, that sleepy, dazzling grin that always managed to punch the breath right out of me.
He cracked one eye open. "Mmm… morning, gorgeous."
I smiled. "Morning to you too, handsome. Did I wake you?"
"It's always a blessed morning when I wake up to your kisses, love," he murmured, voice still thick with sleep. then he blinked, really looking at me. "… what's wrong?"
He always noticed, even when I didn't yet understand what was troubling my own mind.
"I'm not sure... I just... I have this sense of impending doom," I said quietly.
Caspian's brows furrowed with concern as his arms tightened around me.
"I'm here," he said gently, "and we're going to be just fine, my love."
His words always had a way of comforting me.
"You're right," I murmured, more to myself than to him. "Maybe it's just that I wanted to sleep longer."
But deep down, I wasn't convinced.
We slipped into our morning rhythm, showering together and then getting dressed, side by side.
I walked over to my vanity to apply a soft makeup, and there, sitting just beneath my rose gold amulet were two flight tickets. I blinked, confused, until warm arms slipped around my waist and pulled me back into his chest.
In the mirror, Caspian's reflection smiled back at me like sunshine.
"Happy third wedding anniversary, beautiful," he said softly.
I smiled, a soft bubble of surprise warming me from the inside. " Happy third wedding anniversary to you too silly." I whispered.
My fingers reached out for the amulet first, my mother gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday, a small delicate locket.
It held a faded picture of my young parents kissing on a spring morning, a six month old chubby me curled in both their arms. My favorite image of us.
The amulet was practically part of my skin, I could feel it's weight even when it was not on me, the fact that it held that picture meant I could always keep us three close to my heart and I loved that.
"Open it," Cass urged gently.
When I tilted it under the light, something shimmered, the picture shifted.
A second image glinted underneath the first: Cass and me on our wedding day. Captured mid laughter at our Wedding reception, a stolen moment caught by Lolla, my dear friend and assistant. I was in my dress, he in his suit, eyes only for each other, the world forgotten around us.
My breath caught.
Tears welled uninvited, I couldn't find the words, just this ache in my chest, so full of love it almost hurt.
Cass stepped closer. "Do you like it?"
I didn't answer.
Instead, I turned in his arms and kissed him, slow and deep, pouring all of me in that single kiss.
When we broke apart, I rested my forehead on his smiling.
He took the amulet from my hand and clasped it around my neck, placing a soft kiss just beneath it, that always made me shiver.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, wrapping his arms back around me.
I chuckled, cheeks warm. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
He said pointing toward the tickets. "Your second gift."
I picked them up.
"Reykjavík?" I said my eyes about to pop out of their sockets.
"Are you serious?"
"We fly tonight at eleven," he said, grinning.
I let my mind wander, Iceland, the land of volcanic grey sands, ice caves, and the aurora lights I'd only ever seen in videos.
The heart of winter, that I will finally get to experience through my own glance.
"But..work"
"Already handled, I called in for both of us and got the leave approved."
"And Beanie?"
"Arranged for a sitter."
"We didn't even pack!"
"Suitcases are packed, documents scanned, vacation paid. Everything's ready."
My heart could barely keep up. He thought of everything.
"I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"
"Nope," he said smugly. "I'll drag you there if I have to. Ten whole days of you all to myself."
"You have me all the time."
"Not without work in the way. I'm going to be in your face twenty four seven. You'll be sick of me."
"I could never" I said, kissing him again, light and quick this time.
We ate breakfast tangled in laughter and affection, then gathered our usual things,work documents, lunch boxes, keys.
I walked him to the door, like every morning. The same routine.
He stood at the wide open door, back to the fence, face to me, always reluctant to leave.
"So, I'll see you tonight?"
"Of course. Where else would I be?"
"I don't know, maybe last night wasn't your cup of tea and you're gonna ghost me?"
I rolled my eyes, smiling at his old theatrics, always stalling, just to have one more moment of us.
"We're married, Caspian."
"Right. Well then, give me a kiss."
I kissed him deeply wrapping my arms around his middle.
Today's kiss lasted longer than usual.
I felt my heart twist, the same unease from earlier creeping back in.
We broke the kiss.
"I love you," I whispered, "more than the world itself."
"Multiply that by infinity, and that's how much I love you."
I chuckled, rolling my eyes.
"You're cringe, and that's not how math works."
He stuck his tongue out, then sobered in all seriousness.
"Be safe."
I usually replied with I will, you be safe too, but the words didn't come.
Instead, I gave him a gentle smile.
"You do the same."
With that, I nudged him playfully.
"All right, off to work you go."
He took the two steps down, then turned back.
"What do you want me to cook for dinner?"
"We have a flight tonight, no time for a home cooked meal."
"Right! Can I have another kiss then?"
"Caspiaaaan," I groaned, feigning annoyance.
"Okay, okay, I'm going."
And with that, he was off.
I stood there, watching his figure fade into the distance, a strange, inexplicable pang of sorrow spreading through my chest.
Then I remembered I had work too.
I scrambled to gather my own things.
Cass had made this morning a slow, soft thing which I loved, but now it was coming back to bite me in the ass. I checked the time, cursed under my breath, I needed the car. As soon as I pulled out of the driveway, I knew I was running late.
Traffic was a nightmare.
I tapped the steering wheel, glanced at the GPS, and sighed. There was a detour option, not ideal, but I'd still make it to the hospital with a few minutes to spare. I clicked it and veered off course.
Big mistake.
The streets thinned out fast.
Cracked pavement, chain link fences, boarded windows and spray painted walls. I tried not to judge, but something about this neighborhood made my skin crawl.
Then, out of nowhere, a blur shot across the road, tiny, fast, and barely tall enough to reach my knees.
A child.
I slammed the brakes, tires screeching as I veered toward a tree, the car jolted, but missed it by inches.
Heart in my throat, I jumped out.
There, the kid was crouched by the side of the road, eyes wild with panic.
I rushed over, kneeling beside him. "Hey, sweetie, are you okay?"
He flinched at my voice.
I froze.
He was trembling, thin and pale. Hair matted and clothes dirt stained.
He looked to be four, maybe five years old? He shrank from me like I might strike him.
I lowered my voice, softened it as to not terrify him more than he already was
"You're not in trouble I promise, are you hurt?"
Still nothing.
Just wide, haunted eyes looking out for something.
A voice rang out harsh and angry.
"Jude! You little brat, get over here right now!"
The boy, Jude, went rigid.
The scream in his eyes said everything, my body moved on instinct.
I stepped in front of him, placing myself between him and the man stomping toward us.
The guy looked... wrong. Something in his expression was just off. His hands too rough, no warmth, no paternal concern.
He scowled at me. "Move. He's my kid."
I took a closer look, there was no similarity between them.
The child had icy blue eyes, ashy brown hair, and skin so pale it almost glowed, his face was marked by the most delicate features I had ever seen on a boy.
The man's features, though also blond, were sharply different, perhaps the boy took after his mother?
Still, something about this whole situation unsettled me.
I didn't move.
"You don't look like him," I said defiantly. "And he's terrified of you."
He pushed past me and yanked Jude by the arm. The boy whimpered and that's when I saw it, his sleeve slipped.
Bruises, purple and blue, my blood turned to ice.
This wasn't just a bad parent. This was something darker, my body buzzed with adrenaline, with fear, but also rage.
"Hey," I snapped, stepping forward. "You're not his father, are you?"
The man narrowed his eyes. "You some kind of cop?"
"No," I said, lifting my chin. "But I'm reporting you anyway. You're a trafficker. And that child is scared of you for a reason."
I pulled out my phone.
His hand went straight to his waistband.
And I saw it.
A gun.
I froze.
Everything in me screamed run, but I couldn't. I stood between him and Jude, eyes locked. If this was it, I wasn't moving.
I wasn't my father's daughter for no reason. Ever since that faithful night, he trained me to handle myself in tough situations.This was one.
But just then, like divine intervention, a police siren cut through the air. A cruiser was rolling past on patrol. The guy saw it, saw my phone still in hand, and backed off. He fixed me with a glare, one that said this was far from over, then he vanished down an alley.
I let out a shaky breath, I didn't know I was holding.
I scooped Jude into my arms. "You're okay. I've got you. I promise." He just buried his face in my scarf, nails clutching at it like a lifeline.
I flagged the officers down and explained everything. They took my statement, checked the area, but the man had disappeared.
At the police station, I refused to leave Jude with child services.
"I'm a licensed psychiatrist," I said firmly, showing my hospital ID. "Let me take him with me just until we know more. I'll bring him straight to the ER. He needs a full medical check."
It took over an hour of paperwork and convincing, but eventually, they relented.
By the time I pulled into the hospital parking lot, I was two hours behind the start of my shift.
I checked my phone, several missed calls from work but not Caspian, I sighed in relief, at least they didn't worry him for no reason.
"Hey, Lo? I need a favor. Emergency. Can you grab some kids' clothes, food, and meet me in my office in twenty minutes?"
"What? Eura, where were you? We called you several times, what's going on?"
"I'll explain later. Please just trust me."
Lolla met me just as I was settling Jude onto the small couch in my office. He sat stiffly, wary of every movement.
We placed the food in front of him, something simple, rice and chicken.
He eyed the food hungrily, yet didn't move.
I took a small bite. "See? Safe."
Only then, after watching me for a long moment, did he reach for the plate. And then, he devoured it. Like he hadn't eaten in days.
Lolla and I exchanged a bewildered look. Something was deeply wrong here.
"Jesus," she whispered. "You think he was.."
"Starved," I finished. "And more than that… he doesn't trust food unless he sees someone else eat it first. He's been poisoned before."
After some gentle coaxing, I managed to bathe him, dress him in the new clothes. His skin was almost translucent, bruises more obvious now.
He clung to me afterward, refused to go near anyone else. Wouldn't even let Lolla near without hiding behind my legs.
So I cleared my schedule. Stayed by his side all day, as my colleagues ran their check-ups.
Once he was cleared it was time for me to run my own diagnosis.
Back at the office, he walked inside and crouched at the end of the cornor seating their silently like an obedient pet, it didn't sit well with me how he avoided the sofa and the chairs and sat on the floor instead, I followed his gaze that seemed to be fixated on the coloring book on my desktop.
" Do you like coloring sweetheart?"
He didn't answer, I grabbed the book, made my way to him gently handed to him, he eyed me for a moment then took the book hesitantly, then he started turning the pages carefully checking the drawings. So he likes coloring, but he wouldn't talk. So I focused on something else.
:" okay baby you and I are going to play a little game."
That seemed to grab his attention, I put the small bag of crayons infront of him :" I will ask you questions in this game, you need to answer me with a nod or a head shake, for every question you answer you get a new crayon, ready."
He slowly nodded at me and I instantly lit up.
"So first question, is your name Jude?"
A small nod.
I handed him a blue crayon.
"Are you four years old?"
Head shake, green crayon.
"Five?"
Another nod. Another crayon.
I eyed him warily before asking the next question.
"Was that man from earlier really your father?"
His hand froze. Then he slowly shook his head.
"Did he hurt you?"
The crayon slipped. His fingers trembled.
I tried to reach out, but he flinched violently, stumbling away.
"It's okay," I said softly, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Baby, I'm not going to hurt you, you're safe now. Here, do you want a candy?"
He Hesitated for a moment before grabbing the sweet, he opened it meticulously and slipped it in his mouth then seemed to calm down, I said nothing just waited for him, minutes passed. He colored again.
"Do you know your parents?"
Silence.
"Your father?"
Head shake.
"Your mother?"
He looked at me, I understood.
" Do you know where she is?"
This time, he didn't look up from the coloring book, nor did he answer me, just when I was about to drop the whole thing and give up, I noticed it.
I leaned closer.
He was writing.
One word.
Killed.
I couldn't breathe.
His mother was murdered. And this boy… this broken little soul… had somehow survived whatever hell had come after.
And I, I had no idea where to begin.