JAY-JAY'S POV
Aries and I were busy talking. We sat on the floor of his room while eating chutchirya and candies. Soft drinks were also included—our midnight snacks.
This is how bonding works.
We hung out here because Big Brother would get mad if he saw us in the kitchen. Mom is in my room, fast asleep. I left her there and snuck out. I'm sure she'll only join us when she finds out that my brother and I are together. It's not that I don't want to involve her—it's just... I really don't. She and Aries would only end up fighting.
"If his opponent had guns, why did you rush over there?" he asked, referring to what Kuya and I did at Yuri's house.
"Of course I was worried—and Kuya drove there, too," I answered, suddenly remembering his gun. "Did you know Kuya has a sideline?" I asked before taking a sip of Sprite from the can I was holding.
"Sideline?" he repeated.
No, not a frontline.
"He has a gun," I said, using the same tone as the gossipy aunties on the corner.
"I know," he replied, like it was no big deal. "He even took me to a shooting range to teach me."
I looked at him like I'd just been betrayed. He knew? And Kuya even took him along?
"Why? What's it for?"
"He said it's just a hobby. Even your teacher can see that."
I blinked. "Sir Alvin?"
He nodded before grabbing a gummy worm and popping it into his mouth.
Sir really doesn't seem like the type to carry a gun. He's the kind who'd rather beg people to fix things than pull a trigger. Maybe it's his secret double life. Or maybe he's just trying to be different.
What if he's taking his stress out on me? Maybe he imagines our faces on the targets. That's why he gets so worked up in class—maybe he's channeling all his anger toward me.
I'm doomed.
"I want to try that too. Take me with you next time."
He made a face. "Nah. You might use us as your target."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't hate you that much."
Though, I bet Kuya would slap you before I could even aim a bullet.
I opened a pack of gummy candies and poured them into the clear bowl in front of us. Aries paused and typed something on his phone. I looked at him, and he immediately noticed.
"I sent it to Ella. She's still awake," he said.
I responded quickly, "Please."
He frowned at me and glared before going back to typing. That's how it always is—any time I bring up his girlfriend, I get scolded. You'd think she was made of gold.
Please don't break up.
"You're so obsessed with your girlfriend, aren't you?" I asked sarcastically.
"As I should be. What, is it okay for me to fall in love with another woman while I'm with her?" he shot back.
"You're the loyal type."
"Unlike yours," he replied, and I was surprised.
"I guess it'll only be a few years before the new girl gets married."
I laughed. "Ha! It's a guess, so that means it's not guaranteed to happen. That's why it's called a guess."
"Yeah, but guesses can also come true—just like when you randomly answer your exam and still get it right."
"Why is your Ella loyal to you?" I asked, annoyed. He stared at me like I already knew the answer.
"She doesn't have to be loyal. As long as she comes home to me."
I winced. "What kind of stupidity is that?" I felt like slapping him just so he'd fall in love with me.
"Look, she made a mistake—but we're okay now."
"It's broken," I said. He reached out to pinch me, but I smacked his hand away.
We really are siblings.
He returned to his cellphone to type a message. I thought about mine too and sent a message to everyone. It felt like I was talking to someone as well. Keifer and the other Ulupong seemed to be asleep. Only one person replied.
Percy…
📩
From: Percing…
Message: Why are you still awake? Not good for your health.
I snorted. He was also still awake. He should be the one going to sleep—it's not good for his health either.
I replied.
To: Percing…
Message: Midnight snack.
I sent him a photo of what we were eating. Aries' thigh happened to be in the shot, which Percy quickly noticed.
📩
From: Percing…
Message: Is that Aries? If you're together, I guess you're not mad at him anymore? Nice!
I was about to answer when another message popped up.
📩
From: Percing…
Message: Did he tell you about his plan to convince your Mom?
What plan? And why does he know about it?
I turned to my brother, who was drinking Coke from the can in his hand. He was still looking at his phone while doing it. I really didn't want to take my eyes off Jowa.
"Did you talk to Percy?" I asked. He paused his drinking to answer.
He coughed a little. "Yeah, we met earlier."
My mouth fell open. I thought he was furious with that guy. I couldn't imagine him going to see my stepbrother. Or maybe he went to fight—but it didn't seem like it, because Percy is good at talking.
He's always been calm and collected.
"Why?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
He cleared his throat again. "To talk about my plan—so you can see Papa. I want to make things right."
I wanted to clutch my heart. That hit me hard. He wanted to make up for his mistakes, so he came up with a plan. But I still couldn't bring myself to accept that man as 'Father.'
Still, maybe that's okay. Aries himself said he considers him his Papa. Maybe it's not so bad if Aries and I recognize the same man as Father.
I paused. Where's his real Dad? I wanted to ask, in case he wasn't happy. Maybe he thought I was pushing him towards someone he didn't see as his real father.
Next time.
"I want you to take that back," I said, twirling a gummy worm in the air before eating it.
"But before that, I'm reminding you—don't act without thinking," he said. I nodded.
"What's the plan?"
"First, we need to cool your mother's head. Her anger should ease up. She needs to feel sorry for you—missing your father." He continued, "When she feels your pain, we'll convince her to let you see him."
Good idea. Lately, I've realized how much anger she still holds for Papa. But I'm willing to take the risk just to get her to listen.
"If we can't calm her anger toward Papa, at least we can open her mind enough to let you two meet," he added.
"Why not? We always end up fighting whenever I mention seeing Papa."
He went quiet for a moment, then drank from his can. He looked like he was deep in thought. Horoscopes really do think differently. I watched him while chewing and accidentally spilled my chutchirya.
"Don't say it directly to her. Think of something else to say to bring up the topic."
That was his solution.
Wow. That's smart.
I was jealous of his cleverness—how quickly he could come up with a solution. I wish I had even a fraction of his wisdom. We're siblings, but why does it seem like he's the only one with brains?
Unfair.
I nodded in agreement. It seems like I'm smart too—I can think of something to do. But I have a feeling we'll end up fighting with our mother again. We're both stubborn, after all.
Where else would we have inherited that?
I thought for a moment. What kind of attitude does Papa have? Did I inherit anything from him? He's an engineer, maybe he's smart. Maybe I got a bit of his looks—people say Mama and I look alike.
Our gossip-loving neighbors in the province used to say Mama was beautiful when she was young. Her complexion was different from her siblings', so they immediately assumed she wasn't Lola's daughter. They said men flirted with her even when her clothes were in tatters while playing on the street.
She was always invited to barangay beauty pageants, though Grandpa rarely allowed her to join. Someone even once offered to make her an actress—or so the rumors go.
They also said Mama had a sharp tongue and would argue with anyone, even elders. She was known for her temper, and people eventually started avoiding her.
Not surprising.
If I did inherit anything from her, I hope it's only her beauty. Sadly, our bloodline is stubborn, and I seem to have inherited all her bad traits. That's probably why so many people pick fights with me—or maybe I pick fights with them.
I really hope I inherited something good from Papa. I'd cry if everything came from Mama.
I looked at Aries. He was facing Papa. I think I noticed something they had in common.
"Aries... what kind of person is Papa?" I asked quickly.
He answered, "A down-to-earth person. He enjoys the little things—just like you. He doesn't spend much on himself either. He's strict when it comes to work and gives orders—but in a good way."
I'm not strict. But I am down-to-earth. I do enjoy the little things. I enjoyed being with Ci-N. So we do have that in common.
"Sometimes he's stubborn too. I noticed that when he wants something, he has to get it." He looked at me. "You're the same."
I was about to smile because we had something in common, but then I frowned. Why is stubborn the trait we share? I'm not that kind of person.
"Is that really me? I know I'm stubborn, but I don't always insist on getting what I want."
"And that's exactly why you're hard-headed. Because you insist on doing what you want," he explained, annoyed. "Want an example?"
I snorted and shook my head. Yeah, I guess I am stubborn and I go after what I want. At least Papa and I are the same in that way.
I'm not alone.
"In terms of appearance, what do we have in common?" I asked again.
He paused for a moment, trying to recall Papa's face. "Maybe the eyes. You look better than your mother, though."
"Let's," I corrected. "You call someone who isn't your dad 'Papa,' but you can't even call our mother 'Mama'?"
"Did she ever become a mother?" he asked seriously. "Your father still did his part. I feel like he's a real father, even though we're not related by blood."
I stared at him. He really holds a deep grudge against Mama. I feel the same way sometimes, but I won't deny that I still long for her. I hate her, but I feel like I need her.
I still love her, and I still want to be with her. I want to feel what it's like to have a Mom.
"Aren't you curious about her too? About what it feels like to be with your real Mom?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Mama Gema filled that role for me."
And Lola filled it for me.
"Not even once?"
He stayed silent.
"Not even for a moment?"
I'm sorry.
"Even for a moment?"
He looked at me as if he was considering telling the truth.
"Even for a second?"
He sighed. I glared at him.
"Even like this?" I raised two fingers and peeked through the small gap.
Just a little.
He looked away before briefly nodding. I laughed out loud and poked his face.
"Confess too!" I teased.
He immediately countered, tormenting me.
"Have you forgiven your mother?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I can't say. I know I still hold a grudge against her, but I don't know. Still, I find myself hoping she'll come back to us."
"Will that make up for it? Whatever comes first," he said, clearly annoyed.
It's true. She had many chances, but instead, she was busy looking for a new husband to show off. Then she left him too, afraid of what Papa might do. But why would Papa separate them like that?
"Look... do you think Papa wants to get back with Mama?"
He suddenly laughed out loud, then coughed from the force of it.
Horoscope was very happy.
"I don't know, and I don't want to know," he replied, making me wince.
What's wrong with them getting back together? I've heard stories where ex-spouses reunite. Sometimes, their second chance turns into something even deeper.
Maybe it's not so bad to hope.
"Let's finish this and go to sleep," I said as I poured out the remaining chitchirya.
He did the same. Even the can he was holding was emptied. Once everything was finished, we helped each other clean up. We gathered the trash and used a clear bowl.
After cleaning, we headed back to our rooms. I went straight to the bathroom to freshen up. Once I was done, I immediately lay on the bed. I glanced at Mama, who seemed to be fast asleep.
"How are you?" someone asked, and I turned in surprise.
I thought she was already asleep.
"You scared me," I said, holding my chest.
"The joy in your voice, the strength of your laughter," she said as she sat up to face me. "Even Angelo was disturbed."
My eyes widened. So we were that loud? But why didn't she come into the room to scold us?
"How did you know?"
"I ran into him before going to the kitchen."
Did she hear our conversation?
"Were we that loud?"
She shook her head. "Just your laughter."
I could barely breathe. I thought she had overheard our plan.
"Go to sleep. You still have work tomorrow," she ordered, closing her eyes.
"Okay..." I replied softly.
I tried to close my eyes and find a comfortable position, but I kept tossing and turning. I even put a pillow under my feet—still nothing. I rolled over, laid on my back, and turned again, but sleep wouldn't come. I probably shouldn't have had soft drinks or candy. My brain was still hyper.
How can I sleep like this?
"Why are you fidgeting?" Mama asked, clearly annoyed and still half-asleep.
"I can't sleep," I groaned.
I turned to face her and saw her trying to open her eyes to look at me.
"Count sheep."
"Let's just talk," I begged.
But she immediately turned her back on me.
"I'm sleepy. Don't blame me if you can't sleep."
I felt so annoyed. Is it my fault I can't sleep?
I pushed her a little. "Why are you going to sleep here again? Go ahead," I said, annoyed.
She didn't face me. "I'm going to hit you."
"There are many rooms in the house and you're cramming in here," I added before slightly pushing her again. "Move now."
She tried to hit my hand, but it didn't reach, so I pushed again and again.
"Jay!" She looked at me. "Go to sleep. Don't make me feel bad for staying awake."
I ignored her and just continued what I was doing. I couldn't help but smile because I could feel her annoyance that she was trying to suppress.
I wish you would lose your sleep.
"Leave now. Go to another room," I said, and she suddenly faced me.
I thought she would be angry with me, but instead, she hugged me tightly, holding both my arms and hands to his chest.
"I'll see if you can move," she said and closed her eyes again.
I didn't move and waited for her to fall asleep so I could free myself. She was quiet and breathing deeply. I counted a few more minutes before trying to break free, but I failed because she had already made me stand.
"Hey..." I whispered. "Mom, are you asleep?"
I got no answer. "Hey... Mom," I whispered again.
I heard her weak moan. I still couldn't sleep, so I thought of talking to her even though she was asleep.
Hehe… You can dream.
"Mama..." I whispered right in her face. "Stupid money."
I heard a weak answer, but it wasn't clear. Still...
I couldn't help but laugh. "Mama... I'm beautiful, aren't I? Better than you. You're jealous."
"S... Alright," she answered weakly, and I giggled softly.
"Ma... I'm going to have a boyfriend. His name is Keifer." ❤️
"Mmmhh..."
I smiled widely. If only I could laugh out loud like earlier. Too bad. I wish I could record this so I could watch it with her later. My arms were stuck, so I didn't know how. Then I suddenly had an idea. And I knew I could use her.
Yes, my brain.
I tried to release one of my arms to reach for my cell phone, which was just under the pillow. I immediately opened the camera to record her.
"Ma... do you love me and Aries?" I asked in a whisper.
"Yes," she answered.
"What about Dad? Do you love him?"
She frowned, but I didn't get an answer.
"He said Papa will get back to you," I said, and she frowned even more. "He said you're still a lab."
I wanted to laugh because she seemed to be laughing at what I said. She frowned, her eyebrows meeting in the middle.
Even in dreams, there's anger.
"He said he won't stop until you two make up. Are you willing?"
"No," she answered briefly.
"He said he'll only stop when you agree to see us. Is that okay with you?"
"Oh."
I almost screamed out loud. I immediately turned off the video and hid my phone. I now had something I could use on her if Aries and my plan failed. I was thrilled by the idea that I could finally subdue Mama.
I bit my lip while looking at Mama. I just needed to put her to sleep willingly. I wish I had done it before. Maybe it wouldn't have been so hard.
"T-The..." I heard her say. "Your father... will be killed."
My smile disappeared and was replaced by dread. Who would be killed?
Dad?
"We will kill... our... child."
Who was she referring to?
I suddenly remembered what Percy had told me about my grandfather. I thought he was talking about my dad, but it sounded like he was referring to my dad's dad.
I wanted to wake Mama to ask her about what she had said last time, but I thought she wouldn't talk when she was awake either.
She grunted again and spoke slowly.
"Our children are... ugly," she said, and her lips slowly formed a smile.
I don't know why, but a tear spontaneously fell as I watched my mom, as if she still had a connection with her ex-husband.
With my dad.