JAY-JAY'S POV
"How many months has it been?" I asked my interlocutor.
["Seven months. Please, Jay, just agree. If not now, then maybe next week."]
I winced. I wanted to say no—it was embarrassing. Besides, I don't think Grace has any other friends. After all, she got pregnant early, and on top of that, she was cursed.
"Why didn't you come?"
["She says she's getting bored with me. She says I'm impatient."]
"I don't know about you... Fine. Just let me know when, so I can get permission in advance."
["Thanks, Jay! Grace will be so happy!"]
He hung up, and I let out a deep sigh.
So, she's already seven months pregnant—almost as long as we've known about it. That means her belly was already showing back then. And yet, they were still fighting.
She told me yesterday that her pregnancy is delicate, that she can barely move because she's always lying down or sitting to rest. When did the doctor even allow her to leave the house?
And guess what?
They decided to name their baby after me—'Jay.' If it's a girl, at least she'll be just as beautiful. But if it's a boy—oh God! I just hope he doesn't turn out to be a troublemaker. That would be a headache waiting to happen.
I looked toward the door when I heard a knock. After opening it, Kuya Angelo appeared, fully dressed.
"Ready?" he asked.
I nodded, slipping my phone into my pocket before following him. When we got to the living room, everyone was already there—Tita Gema, Tito Julz, Aries, Kuya Angelo, and me.
"Are we eating after church?" I asked, earning soft laughter from Tito Julz and Tita Gema.
"Not yet, and you're already thinking about food?" Aries teased, pulling my arm.
Even as we got outside and into the white van, he was still holding onto me. I glanced around, wondering if there was someone else in the car. Maybe they were smuggling meat or something, and I wasn't informed.
Aries seemed oddly serious.
Tita Gema sat in the front passenger seat, while Tito Julz drove. Kuya sat beside me. Something felt strange—like that New Year's Eve when they suddenly announced an engagement. A weird sense of unease crept up my spine. Was something about to happen?
I glanced at Kuya Angelo and Aries one after the other. They looked like police officers watching a criminal who might try to escape. I'm just a slingshot—why are they treating me like a criminal?
Ignoring them, I took out my phone to play a game. The traffic was light since it was a weekend, so I knew the ride wouldn't take long. I was right. I hadn't even reached the second level of my game when the van stopped. Tito and Tita got out first. Kuya and I were about to follow when Aries held me back.
This isn't a church.
Since when did a hospital look like a church? I looked at Kuya Angelo, who was watching me seriously. Tita was waiting, checking if I would step out, and Aries still had a firm grip on my hand.
"Why are we here? Is this a new church design?" I asked innocently, though I already knew the answer.
"Get down, Jay," Kuya ordered calmly.
I shook my head. Tita Gema stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Let's not force her. She's not ready yet," she said.
"Jay, try to understand," Aries pleaded, gently pushing me. "We're doing this for you."
I quickly braced myself, gripping the seat to resist his push.
"I don't want to. I know what you're trying to do," I snapped. "You're sending me to a mental hospital. I may be silly, but I'm not crazy!"
He stopped pushing. "Idiot! That's not what I meant. We're taking you to your real home."
Real home? Since when was a mental hospital my real home?
"You're insane! When did I—"
I didn't get to finish my sentence because Aries suddenly shoved me—hard. I wasn't prepared. My body lurched forward, and I tumbled out of the van, landing with a painful thud.
"Ahhh... ouch..." I groaned, feeling the impact on my back and elbow.
"It's Aries! Your brother got hurt!" Tita Gema scolded, rushing to help me stand.
"Good job," Kuya muttered to Aries.
Animal!
I clutched my elbow as I stood up. People nearby were staring, probably counting how many bones I had broken.
I must look so ridiculous right now. I wish I had just passed out when I fell. Or maybe hit my head hard enough to forget this embarrassment. Anything would be better than this.
I bowed while rubbing my elbow as Tita led me into the hospital. People were still looking at me as if I were a fool.
"Excuse me! Did you just push me?"
"We need to go to the E.R. first," Tito Julz said, turning toward a hallway, but I quickly stopped.
"Never mind. I'd rather rest at home. Let's go home," I said, retreating slightly—only to feel someone's body behind me.
I looked up slightly, and Kuya's dark expression met mine. I immediately moved away from him.
"K-Kuya, let's just go home," I pleaded.
He shook his head. "You need this."
"Kuya..." I kept my tone light, but he continued walking.
I knew the real reason we were here. They wanted to refer me to a psychiatrist. They would force me to talk about my dreams. They might even hypnotize me like I'd seen on TV—turning me into some sort of mindless puppet.
Tita walked beside me, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders. "Don't be afraid. This is for your own good."
We walked together, following Kuya. I knew that Tito Julz and my dear older brother were right beside us, teasing each other as usual. I was still rubbing my elbow, feeling a dull pain.
We stopped in front of a door with a nameplate on the side displaying the doctor's name and title. I immediately clung to Tita's clothes. "I don't want to go in, Tita," I whispered.
I felt Kuya's firm grip on my arm as he tried to pull me toward the door. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I resisted lightly, though I really wanted to fight back. "Kuya..."
"Angelo, maybe next time—" Tita suggested, but Kuya immediately cut her off.
"No, Ma. We've given her enough time," he said, pulling me closer to the door.
He knocked, and when we heard the doctor's permission, he pushed the door open. A woman with short, curly hair smiled at us. She wore thick-framed glasses.
"Angelo," she greeted Kuya before standing up to welcome us. "Nice to see you and your family. I thought your appointment was later."
Kuya's grip on my arm tightened. It was starting to hurt.
"Is this her?" the woman asked Kuya.
He simply nodded in response. While he looked calm, I winced in pain. The woman turned to me, and I saw the name tag pinned to her left breast pocket:
Dr. Peralta.
"You must be Jasper Jean. I'm Dr. Claudia Peralta," she introduced herself, extending her hand.
Instead of shaking it, I grabbed Kuya's arm.
"Your hand! You're hurting me!" I complained, and he immediately let go.
Even the doctor looked surprised by my reaction. I frowned while rubbing the spot where he had grabbed me. I wasn't planning to run, but his grip was too tight.
"Angelo?" the doctor asked, as if questioning his actions.
Kuya simply coughed and looked down slightly. The doctor turned back to me, offering another reassuring smile.
"Excuse me, Kuya—"
"I know. You don't have to say it," I cut him off.
They all spoke at once, their voices overlapping. I couldn't even understand what they were saying anymore. They were speaking different languages.
"It's fine. Maybe you should sit down first," Dr. Peralta suggested.
Before I could react, someone grabbed me and forced me onto the long sofa beside Aunt Gema. When I turned to see who it was, I was met with Aries' scowling face.
I quickly swatted his hand away. My annoyance with him hadn't faded. After all, he was the one who pushed me out of the car.
If I hadn't stumbled, I might have forgiven him. But I did stumble. And plenty of people saw it—probably even caught it on CCTV.
I wasn't ready to be famous for making a fool of myself. If that footage spread, I could see it now: endorsements, brand ambassadorships, commercials, drama series, even movies! Eventually, Miss Jessica Soho would interview me, and I'd be screaming, "KMJS na 'yan!"
And all because I fell.
Sometimes, imagination is the only thing that can save us from embarrassment. Maybe it was just my delusion, but I felt like an action star when people stared at me earlier. My back and elbow still hurt, but I think my pride, which I left outside, hurt even more.
"It's your Horoscope! Go ahead!"
"Jay," Kuya called, snapping me back to reality. "She's talking to you. Answer her."
I looked up at the doctor briefly before lowering my gaze, focusing on my fingernails. They were getting long—I needed a nail cutter.
"Are you comfortable with your family here, or would you prefer a private conversation?" Dr. Peralta asked.
"It's fine," I answered lifelessly.
"We should stay. I also want to hear what she has to say," Kuya added.
"We need to consider her feelings," the doctor countered.
Dr. Attitude, I thought.
"Whatever. Just do what you need to do," Kuya ordered.
I glanced at them both. Dr. Peralta's expression was firm, while Kuya Angelo glared at her. I had a feeling these two had known each other for a long time. The doctor shot him a sharp look before grabbing her notes and turning back to me. I hunched over, still playing with my fingernails.
"Is it okay if I call you Jay-Jay?" she asked.
I nodded, bringing my nails closer to my face for a better look. What is this?! There was something white under my nail.
"Can you tell me something about yourself?" she asked again.
But I wasn't paying attention anymore. The mysterious white thing under my nail had all my focus. What is this? Dust? But why was it white?
The discharge is dark and comes from my body. I don't scratch my body. I often scratch my head, but not much. This is what I get—sometimes a lizard or an ant, and if I'm lucky, another insect.
Maybe this is how the rich indulge themselves. Rich people are social. Maybe it's because of my life at Tita's house that my wife has become wealthy.
The question?!
Can they feel the pleasure of body experiences? Lately, I don't feel any pain in my body anymore because I bathe more often now. Unlike before, when I could go to school without taking a shower—a special talent.
"Jay," Kuya calls with a threatening tone.
Does he also want to experience pleasure? I glance briefly at the doctor before sighing. I don't want to talk about my life. What should I say to her? Who is she?
"Jay-Jay," the doctor calls softly. "I know you're uncomfortable, but you can trust me."
"What do you want to hear?" I reply.
"The things that happened to you. We need to understand them to find a solution to your problem."
I laugh bitterly at her words. I don't like the way she speaks—it makes me feel stupid.
"I'm an illegitimate child," I say, noticing her slight shock. "My father was already married when he and my mother met. I am the result of sin and should not have been born."
"Jay!" Aunt Gema scolds me. "You shouldn't—"
"She wanted to hear everything, so I said—"
"Your mother didn't know he was married!" Aunt cuts me off. I can see the frustration on her face. "She found out too late."
Shame washes over me. I had always believed she knew from the beginning that my father was married. Percy and I never discussed it properly, so I assumed she was aware. And then I fought her.
"Okay. That's a good start," the doctor says.
Honestly, I already dislike her. Her tone is annoying, as if she has all the answers to my problems.
"Just say whatever you remember or dream about," my brother orders.
A dream suddenly comes to mind, making me uncomfortable. My breathing becomes heavy. I don't want to remember it, let alone talk about it. I hate how it makes me feel.
I wanted to leave.
I shake my head. "I—I want to go home," I say, standing up abruptly.
Aries and Tita immediately stand up as well. As I head for the door, someone grabs my arm. When I turn, I meet Kuya's angry gaze.
"How long will you keep running from this?!" he yells.
"Angelo, let her go," the doctor says.
I try to free myself, but he grabs my other arm.
"Kuya, please let her go," Aries pleads.
"Jay! You need to face this!" he shouts at me.
I can't hold it in any longer—I start crying. "I—I don't want to."
"Angelo! Don't force—"
The doctor doesn't get to finish because Kuya interrupts again.
"Jim Alcantara, Tony Dela Cruz, Alex Ramos—don't you remember any of them?!" he shouts.
Suddenly, my heart pounds in my chest. Before, I was just struggling to breathe, but now I can't breathe at all. I clutch my chest, gasping for air, my shoulders rising and falling rapidly.
"J-Jay!" Auntie calls out and pushes Kuya away.
"N-No… C-can't…breathe…" I gasp, desperately searching for something to hold onto.
They scramble to support me. Panic sets in. I try to inhale, but it feels like someone is choking me. It's terrifying, and I keep crying.
"She's hyperventilating," the doctor says as I feel someone touch me.
"Breathe," Kuya urges, quickly leading me outside. "Keep breathing."
One hand clutches my chest while the other grips Kuya's shirt. I can't see his face clearly through my tears. I'm also growing dizzy from the lack of air. He lays me down on a bed, and as he moves to leave, I refuse to let go of his shirt.
"D-Don't…" I plead.
I felt people surrounding me, attaching devices to my body. I don't know what they're doing, but my vision darkens. I don't know how long I was unconscious, but I woke up to the sound of Kuya speaking with the doctor.
I move slightly. My body feels heavy, as if someone is pressing down on my shoulders. My head spins, so I choose to stay still. I feel feverish, and there's an oxygen mask over my face.
Why do I have this? I didn't before.
"This is your fault. You're supposed to be smarter than me, Doctor," the doctor says, clearly annoyed.
"Shut up, Claudia," Kuya replies.
"She had an anxiety attack, and you just want me to sit back and stay quiet? Well, Angelo, maybe you should try being less cruel."
"You don't understand. She needs to face reality. How will she deal with problems if she always runs away?" he defended.
"Don't make that girl like you. She will learn on her own way."
"And when will that be? When it's already too late?"
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"Because things need to move quickly. Her mom is in danger. Those people are turning everything against her to push the case forward. If Jay-Jay could remember, the case against them could proceed."
Mom? A case?
Is that why Kuya is rushing me? Because of Mom? I don't understand what's happening. I didn't even know that Mama had a case. But about what? And who are the people Kuya is talking about?
What really happened?