MAX POV
"Sonya, I made one," she snorted angrily, but I continued, "one gigantic mistake. I confessed to you, I am ready to work on it. All the years of our marriage and before, I loved, was faithful, supported you. Shared your interests and values. Isn't all this worth just listening to me? Can you really close the door and that's it? In the end, it's..." I hesitated, choosing my words.
"Come on, continue," Sonya egged me on.
My hesitation lasted longer than it should have. Unspoken words could hurt her even more.
"Forget it."
"No, really. Is it mean? Vile? Inhumane? That's what you wanted to say, right?"
Footsteps and laughter of neighbors could be heard downstairs. Someone was coming home. I lowered my voice so that strangers wouldn't hear us. In any case, this is my wife's apartment and I don't want Sonya to be looked at askance later because of our quarrels.
"Let's say it was mean. And I feel as betrayed as you do. On my part there was betrayal, on yours - an unwillingness to at least listen to me!"
"Excellent," Sonya whispered back just as quietly. "Then we have a truly harmonious family, where everyone is kind to each other."
"You're a dog, and I'm a real bitch." And louder, without hiding. "I have ten days of legal holidays. Give me a break from this drama, Max!"
And with these words she closed the door, not letting me say another word. On the floor above, we could hear the elevator doors open and for a few moments the entrance was filled with ringing children's laughter.
It was Tanya, our neighbors' daughter. She had returned from the skating rink with her parents - it was their New Year's tradition to go skating on the first of January.
And all our traditions went to hell this year. Because of me.
F*ck, what an idiot I am!
I bent down, picked up the scattered gum and tangerines from the floor, stuffed everything into a T-shirt bag, and placed the innocent daisies on top. And then I left, fulfilling the only wish that Sonya had voiced to me.
Because on New Year's, all wishes should come true.
***
Sonya Pov
I loved to read.
Probably only such people can become lawyers - ready to absorb information in arrays of hundreds of pages, comprehend ornate terms, catch a glance at insignificant details, remember all sorts of dates, circumstances, precedents.
Although it is important not only to remember, but also to get this knowledge from the right shelf in time, effectively throwing it in the opponent's face.
But what to do if you look at yourself?
Two days passed after the conversation with Max, and I was still trying to comprehend what had happened.
I am pregnant. At one point I even stood in front of the mirror and looked closely at my reflection, but I couldn't understand the difference. I read about it.
I dedicated a whole shelf to books about pregnancy and childbirth, conception and upbringing. I knew every stage - physiological, biological, even neurological, but… I didn't understand. Now I still didn't understand anything.
These two red stripes were shining so brightly. So clearly.
I was tossing and turning. I probably looked very stupid, but I couldn't sleep, sit, or eat. My stomach was as flat as yesterday, and the day before, and a week ago. Not toned, not sunken, without unnecessary folds. A normal belly.
I ran my hand over it.
I thought that I should probably say hello to the future baby, and then I got scared by this thought.
"You can't. You can't...," I said out loud, so as not to lose touch with reality.
So little time has passed since I experienced the loss. I found out about that pregnancy by accident, having done a routine test and unexpectedly seeing a blurry pale pink strip. In the morning I went to the clinic to give blood and to my surprise everything was confirmed.
Then there were ten days left before Max returned from Khabarovsk, where he had to be present in person at the client's divorce proceedings. I wanted to surprise him, so I kept quiet.
And two days before his arrival it turned out that there would be nothing to talk about. Too little time - the embryo did not take root. Severe cramps, bloody discharge, a hospital couch, a sympathetic and caring look from the doctor.
On the day of my husband's return, I was already home, injected with antibiotics and antipyretics. Max never found out about it, and I kept quiet because there was no suitable occasion to tell him. So this grief became only mine and no one else's.
Would it be too selfish to leave this feeling of happiness only for myself now? I didn't have an answer to this question, but I really wanted everything to work out now.
I knew that miracles don't happen. And my pregnancy is not a miracle, but the result of treatment and unprotected sex during a very active stage of ovulation.
When was the last time Max and I...? Oh, yes... That night. Now I don't remember how and how long we had sex. I don't remember whether I finished or not. Max, of course, did everything as it should be, and I was just present, making the necessary movements and manipulations.
Maybe that's how I pushed my husband to cheat. I became an indifferent dry bitch who was chasing the opportunity to create a full-fledged family as a valuable prize. To become normal by the standards of society, which she despised for these very frameworks.
But for Max himself, it was just as important! Necessary as water, air, a master's degree, his own legal practice and me. He wanted a child, he raved about it.
Well, now he will have at least one.
One - not from me. And with me, things are still far from clear.
To my surprise, it was this thought that finally calmed my nerves.