The very air above Midgar screamed. Not a sound that vibrated eardrums, but a psychic shriek that clawed at the sanity of those attuned to the subtle energies of the world. Above the fractured skyline, the newly torn reality bled a deeper, more virulent purple. From this wound in the heavens, something was descending – a grotesque parody of life, an entity that defied terrestrial geometry.
It was a colossal mass of writhing, obsidian tentacles, each thicker than the Crimson Tower it now dwarfed. Countless eyes, glowing with a malevolent, chartreuse light, blinked across its shifting, amorphous body. A low, guttural thrumming, felt more in the bones than heard, pulsed from its core, a heartbeat of cosmic dread. The psychic pressure intensified, and even the battle-hardened Seven Shades felt a cold sweat bead on their brows. Lesser members of Shadow Garden, hidden in the periphery, clutched their heads, fighting back waves of nausea and disorienting visions.
"Lord Shadow!" Alpha gritted out, her silver blade already coated in a shimmering layer of condensed darkness. Her usual composure was strained; this was beyond any demonic beast, beyond any Cult experiment. "This entity… its malice is… suffocating!"
Delta, for once, wasn't howling for a fight. Her ears were flattened against her head, her tail tucked low, a low growl rumbling in her chest – more fear than aggression. Epsilon's slime armor rippled, unconsciously forming denser layers as if to ward off the unseen assault.
Shadow stood impassive, his cloak billowing as if in a personal gale. Internally, Cid Kagenou was ecstatic. Yes! YES! A Lovecraftian horror! This is peak Eminence in Shadow material! This is the kind of thing only I could possibly stand against! My legend will skyrocket! And with this bald guy here as an audience… perfect!
"The true symphony of chaos begins," Shadow declared, his voice cutting through the psychic din, a beacon of chilling calm. "What you perceived as the abyss was but its reflection. Now, gaze upon the void itself." Okay, maybe a bit too on the nose? Nah, it's perfect. Cryptic, foreboding, totally badass.
Genos, beside Saitama, had his incinerator cannons already flaring, his optical sensors working furiously. "Sensei, the energy readings from that… thing… are exponentially greater than the crystalline entities! It's emitting a multi-spectrum radiation pattern that seems to actively disrupt biological and arcane structures! The psychic interference alone is crippling for baseline humans!"
Saitama, however, was just squinting upwards. The psychic scream, the oppressive dread, the existential horror – it all seemed to wash over him like a mild breeze. "Huh. That one's way bigger. And it's got a lotta eyes. Kinda gross, actually." He scratched his cheek. "Wonder if it tastes like squid. Probably not."
The colossal entity, let's call it the 'Star-Spawn of the Torn Veil' for dramatic effect (Cid was already workshopping names internally), finally focused its myriad eyes. It seemed to sense the condensed power within Shadow, the flickering might of the Shades, and the… peculiar blankness of Saitama. With a soundless roar that nevertheless shook the city to its foundations, several dozen tentacles lashed out. They moved with impossible speed, each one capable of crushing a fortress.
"Shades! Defensive formation Sigma-Seven!" Alpha commanded, leaping to intercept a tentacle aimed at a less-defended sector. "Protect Lord Shadow!" Though she knew, deep down, he needed no such protection. It was the ritual, the performance.
Blades of shadow, light, and raw magical power erupted. Beta, with her peerless precision, severed three tentacles mid-strike, dark ichor raining down. Delta, regaining some of her ferocity, latched onto another with her claws and teeth, tearing and ripping. Epsilon weaved through the onslaught, her sword a silver whisper, leaving trails of severed appendages. Even Gamma, surprisingly agile when not overthinking, directed arcane blasts to divert the titanic limbs.
But for every tentacle they destroyed, two more seemed to take its place. The psychic pressure mounted. A stray tentacle slammed into a nearby, already-damaged apartment building, reducing it to rubble with contemptuous ease.
Perfect, perfect! Cid thought, relishing the struggle of his subordinates. Their desperation will highlight my eventual, effortless victory! Or… He glanced at Saitama, who was currently picking his nose, looking mildly bored by the light show. Or it'll make this guy's intervention even more shocking! Either way, I win!
"The threads of despair tighten," Shadow mused aloud, loud enough for Genos (and hopefully Saitama) to hear. "Can you feel it, outsiders? The crushing weight of a power that transcends your understanding?" He slowly raised a hand, dark energy beginning to coalesce, forming intricate, terrifying patterns in the air. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order…"
One of the Star-Spawn's primary tentacles, thicker than a subway train, whipped directly towards Saitama, its tip hardening into a razor-sharp, obsidian point. Genos, despite his earlier damage, moved to intercept. "Sensei! Watch out!"
Before Genos could even fully position himself, before Shadow could unleash his 'demonstration,' Saitama sighed. It was the sigh of a man whose patience for interdimensional monstrosities interrupting his day was wearing dangerously thin.
"Yeah, yeah, despair, chaos, blah blah blah," he muttered. Then, with a casualness that was almost insulting, he cocked his right fist back. No dramatic energy build-up. No battle cry. Just a simple, almost lazy motion.
"Normal Punch."
His fist connected with the incoming tentacle.
The result was not an explosion. It was… an un-creation.
The colossal tentacle didn't just break; it vanished. The force of Saitama's punch travelled up its length instantaneously. For a horrifying, breathtaking moment, the entire Star-Spawn of the Torn Veil froze. Its myriad eyes bulged. The psychic scream cut off abruptly, replaced by a silent, cosmic gasp.
Then, the shockwave hit.
It wasn't like the localized boom from his earlier punch. This was a pressure wave that expanded outwards from Saitama in a perfect sphere. The remaining tentacles flailing at the Shades were blown back, shredded, and disintegrated. The amorphous body of the Star-Spawn imploded, collapsing in on itself with the force of a dying star, before vanishing into a shower of fading, chartreuse motes. The very tear in reality from which it had emerged shuddered violently, then, with a final, pathetic whimper, sealed itself shut, leaving behind only an unnervingly calm, normal sky.
Silence.
A profound, absolute silence descended upon the Crimson Tower district, broken only by the distant crackle of fires and the soft rustle of Saitama's cape in the suddenly gentle breeze.
The Seven Shades, mid-combat pose, slowly lowered their weapons. Their faces, usually composed or fiercely determined, were masks of utter, slack-jawed disbelief. Alpha's silver eyes were wide, her lips slightly parted. Beta's notepad and pen had slipped from her fingers. Delta's jaw was literally hanging open, her ears perked straight up. Epsilon's slime armor even seemed to droop slightly. Gamma had tripped over a loose cobblestone in shock and was now sitting on the ground, staring blankly.
Genos, on the other hand, beamed with pride. "As expected of Sensei! A flawless extermination of a Dragon-level, possibly God-level, interdimensional threat!"
Shadow stood frozen, his hand still raised, the dark energy he'd been gathering dissipating like mist. Cid's brain felt like it had been put through a blender.
Wha… Wha… Wha… WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?! The internal scream was deafening. He just… PUNCHED IT?! That thing was exuding enough negative cosmic energy to give Cthulhu himself a panic attack! It was a walking, tentacled apocalypse! And he just… NORMAL PUNCH?! What the hell is a 'Normal Punch'?! Is that some kind of code for an ultimate, reality-breaking attack he's trying to downplay?! And he just… stood there! No cool pose, no dramatic build-up, he just… bopped it! My entire dramatic entrance! My meticulously planned demonstration of overwhelming power! RUINED! By a bald guy in pajamas!
Saitama dusted off his fist again. He looked at his hand, then at the empty sky. "Huh. Guess it didn't taste like squid after all. Bit anti-climactic, really." He turned to Shadow and the assembled Shades. "So. Anyone got a map? Or maybe a phone I can borrow? I really should call Genos and tell him… oh wait, he's right here." He patted Genos on the shoulder. "Good job keeping up, Genos."
The silence from Shadow Garden persisted for another ten, agonizing seconds.
Finally, Alpha found her voice, though it was a little shakier than usual. "Lord… Lord Shadow… that… that individual…"
Shadow slowly lowered his hand. His mind was racing, desperately trying to re-contextualize this, to spin it, to somehow incorporate this utterly ludicrous display of power into his grand narrative. Okay, okay, don't panic, Cid. This is a challenge. An Eminence in Shadow thrives on challenges! This Saitama… he's not a rival. He's… he's a force of nature. A calamity. And I… I will be the one who understands this calamity. Who directs it. Or at least, makes it look like I'm directing it.
"Indeed, Alpha," Shadow said, his voice regaining its customary sonorous depth, though perhaps with a slight underlying tremor only he could detect. "A… blunt instrument, yet undeniably effective." He turned his hooded gaze fully onto Saitama. The oppressive aura he usually projected seemed to… bounce off Saitama, who was now idly examining a crack in the cobblestones.
"Saitama," Shadow began, choosing his words carefully. "Your… method… is crude. Devoid of finesse. Yet, the result cannot be ignored." Crude?! It was apocalyptic! He one-shotted a cosmic horror! My ultimate attack, 'I Am Atomic,' might have struggled against that thing without a significant charge-up! "You possess a power that defies conventional understanding. A power that could shatter the delicate balance of this world…" He paused for dramatic effect. "…or, perhaps, be its unlikely salvation." Gotta play both sides. Keep 'em guessing.
Saitama looked up. "Balance? Salvation? Look, man, no offense, but your robe is really dark. Is that, like, a goth thing? Or are you just cold?"
Cid's eye twitched beneath the hood. He's… he's completely immune to my mystique! He's not even registering the existential dread I'm trying to project! Is he an idiot savant? Or just an idiot?!
Delta, finally snapping out of her shock, bounded forward, her eyes gleaming with a manic light. "Strong! Baldy is strong! Delta wants to fight Baldy!" She crouched, ready to pounce.
"Delta, stand down!" Alpha commanded, a sharp edge to her voice. She stepped between Delta and Saitama. "This is not the time for impulsive actions." She looked at Saitama, a complex mix of awe, suspicion, and grudging respect in her eyes. "Your strength is… considerable. Who are you, truly?"
Saitama shrugged. "Told ya. Saitama. Hero for fun. Now, seriously, about that map…"
"A 'hero for fun' who can erase entities that threaten planetary stability with a single blow?" Beta interjected, her journalistic instincts overriding her shock. She had her notepad out again, scribbling furiously. "Fascinating! This will require an entirely new chapter in the Chronicles of Lord Shadow! 'The Unforeseen Ally and the Crushing Fist' perhaps?"
My chronicles? He's going to be in MY chronicles?! Cid felt a surge of indignation, quickly suppressed. No, no, this is good. It makes me look even more mysterious for having such a powerful, unpredictable 'ally'.
"The portals," Genos stated, cutting through the chatter. "The one we came through, and the one that creature emerged from. They are symptoms of a larger instability, are they not, Sir Shadow? You mentioned 'walls between worlds bleeding'. This implies a more widespread phenomenon."
Shadow seized the opportunity. "Precisely, cyborganic warrior." He called me Sir Shadow! Respect! Finally! "What you witnessed here is but a prelude. The fabric of reality thins. More rifts will appear. More… things… will attempt to cross. This world, and perhaps yours as well, stands upon a precipice."
He swept his arm towards the now-sealed tear in the sky. "This was merely one leaking faucet. The dam is about to break." Nice metaphor, Cid. Very ominous.
"So, like, a monster invasion?" Saitama asked, finally showing a sliver of interest. "Are they gonna have, like, a main boss? Or is it just gonna be a bunch of these squiddy guys?"
Shadow paused. He's trivializing interdimensional Armageddon. But… if he's this strong, maybe he can afford to. "The nature of the orchestrator remains… shrouded." He focused on Saitama again, a new plan forming in Cid's mind. "Saitama. Your power, however unrefined, could be a vital asset in the coming storm. Shadow Garden operates in the darkness to protect the light. Perhaps… perhaps your path has converged with ours for a reason."
Yes! Frame him as a destined, if unwitting, part of MY grand plan! He's so clueless, he'll probably go along with it if there's a promise of strong guys to fight!
Saitama yawned. "Look, I dunno about destiny or whatever. But if strong monsters are showing up, I guess I can punch 'em. It's kinda my thing. But first, I really need to find out about that king crab sale. Priorities, you know?"
Before Shadow could formulate a suitably cool and manipulative response, a new sound echoed through the ruined district. Not a psychic scream, nor an explosion. It was… music. Jaunty, almost carnival-like music, accompanied by the distinct, rhythmic clomping of oversized shoes.
From around a shattered street corner, a figure emerged. He was dressed in a garish, brightly colored clown costume, complete with a painted-on smile that was far too wide and utterly devoid of humor. In one hand, he twirled a ridiculously oversized novelty mallet.
"Well, well, well!" the clown chirped, his voice a disturbing falsetto. "What have we here? A little dimensional crossover party? And you didn't invite Puddles? How rude!" His eyes, tiny and black like a shark's, darted between Shadow, the Shades, and Saitama. "My, my, such interesting energies! Especially you, baldy! You smell… fun!"
Saitama blinked. "A clown? Now? Seriously?"
Shadow felt a genuine chill crawl up his spine, and for once, it wasn't self-induced. This clown… his energy was bizarre. Playful on the surface, but with an underlying current of profound, chaotic malice that felt chillingly familiar, yet horrifyingly alien. This… this isn't part of any script I know. This is… new.
The thrill was back, sharper and more dangerous than ever. The stage was not just chaotic; it was becoming a downright circus of the damned. And the audience was on the edge of their seats.