(Next day)
While I was sitting silently at the edge of the bed lost in thought, a knock was heard outside my door.
*Knock*knock*
"Come in."
"My lady, I've brought your medicine."
Rosen went inside and walked towards me holding a tray in her hands containing a bowl of green liquidy substance.
"My lady, I hope you will finish your bowl of medicine today. You refused profusely to drink it yesterday because of the taste, but the bitter the medicine the better. I also brought some sweets, so my lady please…"
That's no medicine, that's poison! I still can't get over the taste, even now it's still lingering in my tongue… eugh
Yesterday's events were like a nightmare to me, I ended up feeling lost. I prayed that maybe it's all just a dream but when I woke up, it dawned on me that maybe the situation that I am in is not as simple as I think. Everything is strange and I don't understand why my body feels unfamiliar, but I can't just jump to conclusions especially if such conclusions blurs the gap between what is real and what is not.
"Rosen"
"Yes, my lady?"
"How about this, I'll ask you something and you answer me truthfully. Once I'm done asking, I'll drink the medicine."
Her eyes lit up and she nodded.
"Of course, my lady, you can ask me anything."
"As you know, I have trouble remembering things so I want you to tell me what really happened, why did I end up like this?"
There was a bit of hesitation in her eyes, but she bit her lip and looked at me with a now determined look.
"I'll be honest my lady, there was a part of me that felt a bit of relief knowing that you've temporarily lost your memory."
Her eyes started to red, and she got closer to me and held my hand. Although I want to tell her that I don't have amnesia, she seems genuinely concerned so I let her be…
"Why?"
"It's because you've been suffering all these years, I can't even imagine the pain you're feeling. *sob* My lady, with everything that had happened to your family, it slowly broke your fragile heart to pieces so… so you choose such drastic action to end your pain *sob*sob* my lady I'm sorry… I'm sorry I wasn't able to be of help to you…"
Rosen continued crying, which made me feel sad for some reason. It sure does not seem like she's acting, she's really heartbroken. Also, from what I can gather, she's saying that I chose self-harm. This only prove that her story of events sure does not correlate with mine.
"You mean, I chose to end my life?"
When I asked that, her grip somehow tightened.
"Y-yes my lady. I was the one who saw you jumping in the lake that night. I was the one who saved you as well. If only I was there a bit faster, then this wouldn't have happened. *sob*sob*"
"Now… stop crying already, it's not your fault."
I patted her shoulder and after about a minute or two, she's now more relaxed. However, her eyes are still red and her voice has become hoarse.
"My lady, I truly apologize. I really thought I would lose you that day. When I read your letter, I ran as fast as I could to save you. Thankfully, by the grace of heaven, you were able to survive."
"Letter?"
"That's right my lady, I was trying to find you that day and saw a letter in your drawer. I wasn't supposed to read it but when I caught a glimpse of the three letters you wrote at the end of the letter, I felt a strong sense of panic. I immediately asked everyone to find you, and I remember that you like to visit the lake almost everyday so that was the first place I went to find you."
I was more confused than ever but she mentioned the lake. I did jump off the lake, but I remember I never saw another person that night. However, if there was indeed a possibility that two people jumped off the lake that night then why am I in a different body? It's not a dream, not a hallucination… But all of this doesn't make sense…
"Rosen, can you bring me to go see the lake?"
Since my energy has gone back considerably more than yesterday, observing this place outside my room will help me far better than getting more info from the people of this house.
"But my lady, you still haven't completely recovered. I'm afraid that if you go out, your health will only worsen."
Is she concerned or do they not want me to go outside? Eitherway, I have to go outside today because if not I'll go crazy from overthinking…
"Rosen, I understand your concerns but this is the only thing I could think of. Maybe, if I go to that place something will trigger in me and I would be able to get back my memories slowly. I'm so confused with everything so can you help me at least?"
"My lady, I'm just afraid that it will only bring back painful memories for you instead."
"I totally get where you're coming from, I don't want you to relieve that trauma as well. However, I've been thinking of whatever possible ways I could find, but if you think about it. The best way to solve my problem is to face the reason why it happened in the first place. So Rosen, help me out this time, hmm?"
I apologize Rosen if I'm playing with your emotion but I can't trust anyone. I can only trust myself and the truth matters only in my own point of view right now. I have to assess the situation in a more logical way.
She took her time to answer but in the end she just sighed and agreed with my request.
"I-I understand my lady, I will prepare your dress first. Also, my lady about the medicine."
Right… I almost forgot about that poisonous medicine. But I already promised Rosen that I'll just drink it in one go…
*Gulp*
"Candy… I need candy"
"Here, my lady"