The house felt too small. The walls seemed to close in on me, suffocating with every breath I took. The silence, so thick, so oppressive was louder than any words could be. Aoi's absence was a weight I couldn't shake. It clung to me, a dark cloud lingering over every room, every thought. I hadn't seen her since breakfast, and now it was late afternoon. Her absence gnawed at me, and the unease inside me grew, a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The minutes stretched on, heavy with tension. I couldn't stop pacing, couldn't stop thinking about the night before the kiss, her words, the way she looked at me. It was like my entire world had shifted, and now I was trying to figure out how to put the pieces back together.
Then my phone buzzed.
A text from Aoi.
"I can't stay here anymore. I'm leaving."
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I froze, staring at the screen, the blood draining from my face. Panic flooded my chest, the cold grip of fear wrapping around my heart. Without thinking, I grabbed my jacket and rushed out the door, the world spinning as I tried to hold onto some semblance of control.
The park.
Of course. She used to go there when she was upset, when the weight of everything became too much. I couldn't believe it, couldn't believe she was actually leaving. But part of me already knew this was coming. I'd pushed her too far. I'd made her feel like she didn't matter, like I didn't care, and now she was running away. And I had no idea how to stop her.
When I got to the park, I found her sitting on the swing, her back to me, her head down. Her posture was all wrong.. slumped, defeated and I could see the stillness in her shoulders. It was like she was trying to shut herself off from everything, from me.
"Aoi," I called, my voice shaky, strained.
She didn't move. Didn't even look up.
"Aoi, please," I said, taking a few steps forward, my heart hammering in my chest. "Don't do this. Come back. Whatever it is, we can fix it. Just, please don't leave."
She turned slowly, her eyes hollow, the weight of everything in her gaze. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper, thick with pain. "Why did you do it, Riku? Why did you kiss me? Why did you make me believe… believe that I could have you when I can't?"
The air around us felt like it had been sucked away. My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn't find any words. How could I explain this? How could I make her understand?
How could I tell her that I didn't want to hurt her? That I felt the same way, but I was terrified? Terrified of what it meant, terrified of how wrong it was, and how it would ruin everything between us?
"I never asked for this," she continued, her voice shaking now, cracking with the weight of every unspoken word. "I never wanted to love you like this. But you," She stopped, her breath hitching, and she looked away, quickly wiping at her eyes. "You made me feel like maybe… just maybe, it was okay. And now you're pushing me away. You're acting like I'm some kind of mistake."
Her words cut through me like a blade. Each one a jagged piece of the truth I didn't want to face. I wanted to reach for her, to apologize, to make things right, but I was paralyzed, my body frozen in place by the weight of what I had done.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," I finally said, my voice cracking, barely a whisper. "I didn't, Aoi, I never meant to make you feel like that. I just. " My words faltered. How could I explain the mess inside my head? The guilt, the confusion, the fear? "I don't know how to make it better. I don't know how to fix this."
Aoi stood up abruptly, wiping her face again. Her body stiffened, and she took a step back from me, shaking her head as though she couldn't bear to look at me anymore.
"You can't fix this, Riku," she said, her voice breaking. "You've already ruined it. You've already made me feel like I'm nothing but a problem to you."
I staggered back, the words hitting me harder than anything else. She was right. I had made her feel that way. I had hurt her, and now I had no idea how to undo any of it.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice thick with the weight of everything left unsaid. "I'm so sorry, Aoi. I never meant for any of this to happen."
But it was too late. Aoi turned her back on me once again, her footsteps silent against the grass as she walked away, leaving me alone, consumed by the emptiness of my own actions.
"Please don't go," I begged, the words spilling out of me, desperate, pleading. "Aoi, please don't leave me like this."
But she didn't answer. She didn't even look back.
I stood there, helpless, as she disappeared down the path, the sound of her footsteps fading into the distance. I was left standing alone in the park, with nothing but the crushing weight of my guilt, and a heart shattered into a thousand pieces.