November 10, 1998
12 Grimmauld Place
Harry Potter
Harry tiredly shut the door behind him as he entered his home, the dark chilling atmosphere of Grimmauld Place dragging down his mood further. The dreams had been driving him absolutely wild, he swung from plotting how he would convince Hermione this was an act of fate that they were meant to be together and then wondering how he could face her after the dreams of things they'd done. Thing's he'd never actually done in real life…. Well he had done them in real life but ghost possession didn't count.
Hermione looking at him over her sweat slicked shoulder as he pushed into her from behind. He leaned over her wrapping one hand around her waist while the other cupped her breast.
"Relax love, you can take me."
Harry shuddered at the memory, fuck. He was so so fucked. He saw the girls Gryffindor robes on his couch and his heart stuttered. Hermione. She was here. She was going to talk to him. Finally.
Harry moved quickly through the house looking for her, stopping when he spotted Ginny in the hallway. His heart sank, fuck.
"What are you doing here Ginny? It's the middle of the week."
"You haven't responded to a single one of my letters except to ask me about Hermione."
Harry looked at her and shrugged. "I don't have time for you Ginny, I'm busy. If you could please leave."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"Yeah I am."
"What! You love me! You told me, after everything we went through, you're breaking up with me over this?" Her voice took on a loud hysterical edge.
Harry looked at her quizzically, what they went through? Okay, then.
"Ginny its not just about Halloween, we've both changed and it's me not you."
Was that the line guys were suppose to say when breaking up? Shit he should have read the article instead of just looking at the magazine cover.
"Is this about Hermione? Because she got mad? She'll get over it, you don't have to punish us both because she's being sensitive."
Harry had been so focused on Hermione afterwards he hadn't thought about Ginny. And hearing her words now, a rush of anger swept over him. Hermione was being sensitive? She had her consent ripped away from her, and from what he was still in the process of remembering, he had fucked her every which way possible, and some he hadn't even thought of. He might lose his best friend who went though a fucking war with him because Ginny Weasley tried to play a joke. His jaw tightened as he kept the vicious words he wanted to say in check.
"I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. Leave and don't come back."
Her mouth gaped open at him then she burst into tears.
"Kreacher!" The crochety old elf popped into existence next to him.
"Ginny Weasley has outstayed her welcome. Please escort her to the sidewalk." Ginny tried to back away but despite his age Kreacher snatched her hand and popped back out.
Harry immediately adjusted the wards around his home to prevent Ginny from entering his home again. He gave a short groan of frustration and punched the wall. The old plaster cracked and an overly large hole appeared in the wall, as if he had thrown a bowling ball at the wall instead of his fist.
He stared in dismay at the wall. "Well fuck. Perfect. Bloody hell!"
Time to go write another letter that Hermione won't answer. As he started to his room he heard the front door slam and Ron called out his name.
Shit! Shit. Shit.
Harry stood there and waited until Ron stomped into view.
"You had my sister removed from the wards! What the hell Harry!"
"Your sister should be at school. And we've broken up. If you want to hang out with her go do it at a pub or the Burrow."
"What the hell mate? That's cold."
Harry shrugged in response; he wasn't willing to be nice to Ginny after what she said.
"Why did you break up?"
"It wasn't working out."
"Was it because of what happened between you and Hermione during Halloween?"
Harry looked at him levelly and repeated.
"It wasn't working out."
"Hermione and I haven't broken up."
Harry wasn't sure how to take that tone, was it a warning? A statement? He decided not to respond and just stared at Ron, not acknowledging his statement.
Finally, Ron broke the staring contest, rubbing a hand through his hair. "I'm going to see Hermione this weekend."
"Did she say you could?"
"I don't need her permission to go visit."
"Your sister already took away her choice, you shouldn't do the same. If she wants you to visit, she would say so."
"Argh! Fine." Ron shoved past him stomping up to his room.
Harry sighed and leaned against the wall, staring up the ceiling.
Answer my damn letters Hermione.
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December 2, 1998
Harry Potter
12 Grimmauld Place
Hermione's eyes were bright golden brown, lighter than he'd ever seen them. He could feel her legs squeezing at his hips as she wiggled against him. Her mouth was open as she panted and moaned, her gaze fixed on his.
"Make love to me please…"
Harry shuddered as he stood with one hand braced against the wall of the shower. His other hand stroked his cock as the memories of the dream rolled through him. He gave a soft grunt as he came, squeezing his cock as his cum spurted out.
"Oh, for fucksake." He banged his head lightly on the shower wall. Harry thought he must have jacked off more in the past month than his entire life. Which considering his childhood and majority of his teen years maybe wasn't saying much but still.
With one last thump of his head he pushed away from the wall and finished showering up. Jerking off in the mornings had become both routine and necessity after the Halloween incident. He'd been a bit out of his comfort zone with the whole event. He went with the intention to go make an appearance make Ginny happy and skip out as soon as possible.
Instead, he was possessed by a ghost and shagged his best friend. The last thing he remembered from that night – until the dreams started- was lifting her up and giving her a hug. The next thing he knew he was jumping up on a bed bare arsed naked because Hermione was screaming her bloody head off. He could still remember the jolt of fear that scream had given him.
He tried to avoid remembering how he had seen her breasts bounce when she had slapped a hand over her eyes and before she pulled a sheet over her head. It was the next part that really gutted him and given him anxiety he hadn't managed to shake.
Hermione had cried.
A lot.
Because of him, because of what they did.
Thinking of it made him feel pressure on his chest, he did not want Hermione crying because of him. He did not want Hermione crying at all, period.
He stepped out of the shower and began to get dressed, trying to shake off the worries about Hermione. Today was going to be a shit day at work, he was due for court for a particular death eater he really wished was already dead.
As he made his way through the house to the kitchen, Ron was already there eating. They gave each other silent nods, as Harry went about getting himself breakfast.
The tension between him and Ron had been a low simmer since the night they got back from Hogwarts. Ron refused to accept that Harry would not talk about what happened until he talked with Hermione first.
Something that would be easier if she had answered even one of the dozens he had sent her. The anxiety spiked again when he thought about it. Hermione talked to him, always. She told him things he needed to know, she told him things he didn't want to know- she was always telling him something.
And now- when he really really needed to know. She wasn't talking to him. Voldemort and horcruxes couldn't drive her away from him but a stupid prank by Ginny Weasley did?
Harry hadn't been mad a Ginny at first, more … confused. What the bloody hell had she thought would happen? It wasn't until he realized how deeply upset Hermione had been about it that his anger ticked up in response. Each day Hermione didn't respond to his letters the anger he felt at Ginny increased again.
He had broken up with her ten days after the Halloween incident, after seven – seven- unanswered letters to Hermione. Harry had thought he would feel bad about breaking up with her, he had really cared for her- or so he had thought. However, the level of 'couldn't give a fuck' he was experiencing about breaking up with her, he had to reconsider that. Maybe he had just needed someone during the war, and Ginny had always been slightly creepily obsessed with him. It had been easy to just to let it keep going along, which he probably would have continued with … until this happened.
Now however…
I love her like a sister and I reckon she feels the same way about me. It's always been like that.
He scoffed to himself, that was a lie, and if he were honest with himself, it always had been a lie. One he used to shut down the possibility of causing conflict between his two best friends.
Ron looked up at the noise he made, they were both dressed for work in the Auror robes, fully outfitted for their appearance in court later today.
Ron leaned back from the table looking at him, before slapping the table and standing up. "Yeah mate, I'm letting you know I'm done with this weird shit. If you're not talking to me about what happened last month, I'm going to talk to Hermione about it. She doesn't want to answer my letters? Fine. I'm going there after we get out today."
Harry looked at him, still sitting at the table. He knew Ron had gotten more concerned about what Harry would do after he broke up with Ginny. Another topic they avoided talking about. He tapped the table thinking.
"I don't think we should be going and forcing her to talk before she's ready."
"I think you didn't hear me. I said I. I. I am going to talk to Hermione. You're not invited."
No way was Harry letting Ron confront her by himself. Did he think Ron would do anything bad? No he did not. But he was going to be there regardless just in case she needed him. Maybe he would lift her up so that she could look down at Ron if she had to yell at him. Moral support.
He gripped her hips to keep her still, feeling her nails rake lightly along his sides, she was wild for him.
He stopped tapping at the table and clenched his fist, moral support. Right.
"I don't need your invite, Ron. I'm going. If Hermione wants me to leave, then I'll leave."
Ron rolled his eyes and stomped off. Harry sighed and thought of Umbridge to kill the lingering arousal the stray thought had sparked. He had been thinking of Umbridge too much lately, gross.
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Later that Day
Harry Potter
Harry sat in the observation area of the Wizengamot, watching the cage that held Fenrir Greyback get lowered slowly to the center of the room. The idea of justice in the magical community was a joke, they put on these elaborate displays, when the results were for the most part already decided by the witches and wizards in power.
He had known that as a teenager when he was first dragged before the Wizengamot as a defendant and it was driven home with each trial he attended since the end of the war. Some prisoners were wealthy enough, and smart enough to purchase their freedom- like the Malfoys. Others like Greyback would face the full penalty for their crimes, but not without giving the elderly witches and wizards a good court show.
Harry felt his lip curl in disgust at the proceedings and quickly smoothed out his face. Greyback looked out between the bars of his cage and met Harry's gaze and Harry's hand twitched towards his wand. Greyback smiled at him noticing the movement with his flat greyish blue eyes, and mouthed, "Where's your mudblood?"
Harry almost jumped up, but Ron grabbed ahold of his arm, jerking him back. He shrugged Ron off roughly, not even looking at him, not breaking Greybacks flat animal-like stare. Harry hoped his own eyes were explicit enough for the idiot to understand, if they were alone, Greyback would be dead already.
The machinations of the witches and wizards of the Wizengamot, were ignored by Harry. The lengthy reading of Greybacks many crimes, the over-the-top gasps and squeals of the magical panel was a farce that burned at Harry.
Finally, Chief Warlock Shacklebolt decided they had had their fun, and demanded sentencing which was handed down without a pause.
"Death by Dementor's kiss." The crowd gave a muted applause, as if pleased with themselves. Ignoring that Fenrir Greyback had been brought to justice by two teenagers. Harry's hand fisted at his sides, trying to tamp down his anger.
As the cage was raised for Greyback to be taken away to his doom, he looked down at Harry and Ron again shouting out. "I'm sure sorry I never got that bite from your mudblood lads, she looked delicious." He laughed hoarsely as they both jumped up, their hands going to their wands.
"Steady now." Head Auror Robards voice lashed out at them before they could pull their wands free of the holsters.
Harry didn't look away until Greyback disappeared from sight. He hated dementors and the thought of traveling to Azkaban, but maybe he would be traveling there to see Greyback put to death.
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Hogwarts
Harry Potter
When they arrived together at Hogwarts, they first had to obtain permission to visit school grounds because it was the middle of the school week from McGonagall. Given how hesitant she was to allow visitors during the week, Harry knew it was only their status as the saviors of magical Britain that caused her to bend and allow a brief visit. When she went on to explain that Hermione might not feel up to a visit because she had been sick that day and missed all her classes Harry's constant anxiety about Hermione spiked.
He should have visited her sooner, instead of waiting for her to say it was okay. He should have made sure she was okay. He and Ron headed to her room, but she wasn't there, it wasn't until they ran across Luna Lovegood who advised them she had seen Hermione sitting by the black lake that they knew where to find her.
She was sitting on the shore of the black lake, her head on her knees and arms wrapped around her legs. She looked so small and forlorn that Harry wanted to pick her up and put her in his lap to cuddle her. Instead, he sat on one side of her and Ron sat on the other.
The three of them sat there in silence for long minutes, Hermione not even looking at them to acknowledge them. It was just about when Harry would have broken the silence that Hermione finally spoke.
"Did you tell him what happened?"
When she looked at him, Harry realized she was talking to him. He looked over at Ron, then back at Hermione and shook his head.
"I wasn't sure you wanted me to."
"Okay." She nodded at him.
Ron looked between the two of them. "It doesn't matter what happened, it wasn't you two really doing anything. It doesn't matter to me, we can all just forget it."
Hermione often complained about Ron's emotional depth but even Ron knew whatever they had done together was going to change everything. Hermione shook her head at him. "We will never be able to forget it."
Ron reached for her hand, threading their fingers together, and Harry had to fight the impulse to pull her away. "We can forget it. I promise Hermione. It doesn't matter to me."
Hermione licked her lips nervously and pulled her hand away. "I have to say something private to Harry first."
"You don't though. It's okay, I swear!" Ron grabbed again for her hand, and she leaned back until she was pressed against Harry's side.
"Ronald, please. I have to talk to Harry. Privately." Ron glared at them both and stomped off until he was out of hearing range.
Hermione looked at him, meeting his eyes briefly and gave a shaky smile. Harry moved so he was kneeling in front of her, his hands braced on either side of her.
"I want you to know, we can handle this however you want. I know… " He cleared his throat. "I mean I don't know … what you remember. But I've had um dreams…. And I'd be willing… if you wanted. I'd have them memory charmed or obliviated. Whatever you need me to do Hermione, to make you happy again, to fix our friendship. I'll do it, I swear."
Her smile changed, becoming closer to the smile he knew, and she reached out to him, and he grabbed her hand. He was so relieved she was willing to touch him, he had been half afraid she wouldn't want him near her after what had happened.
She breathed out a slow breath, then inhaled and straightened her shoulders, bracing herself and then looking at him.
"Harry… "
"Yes?"
"That night…"
"Yes?"
"I um wasn't … uh sexually active before that…"
Oh god she was talking about that dream. Had he hurt her?
"Hermione I'm so so sorry. I never wanted to do that. I mean I did want to do that but not that hard um… I mean I would never do that to you. Unless I was possessed. I would never… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about that, are you injured? Is that why you're not in school?"
Her eyes were wide and a blush slowly creeped up her face. "Harry! I am not talking about … that! Merlin have mercy."
He looked at her, feeling his own face turn red. Okay. She was not talking about that. Good to know.
She pulled her hand back and patted both her cheeks, looking at him incredulously. Oops.
"I meant, because of that, I um hadn't taken any contraceptive potion."
He stared at her not moving a muscle, his mouth shaping the words. Contraceptive potion.
She hadn't taken a contraceptive potion.
They had sex.
They had a lot of sex.
He came in her buckets from the dreams.
She hadn't taken a contraceptive potion.
He started shaking slightly and reached out, gently laying his hand on her stomach. She placed her hand over his, and gave him a tentative smile.
"I'm pregnant. The spell said… the spell shows its um a boy." She paused and continued a little lower. "I understand if you don't want him. But I do, Harry. I just found out today and I already… I already love him so much. You don't have to do anything or be responsible for him. I can do it, I've got him."
Harry's eyes blurred and he tried his best not to start crying in front of her, he grabbed her and pulled her close.
"Of course, I want him, crazy. I thought you were suppose to be smart?" She started crying and he cuddled her again, stroking her back. "I'm going to be at your side through all of it Hermione, whatever you need."
She nodded against his chest, and when she pulled back, he could see the relief on her face. He was a little hurt she thought he would abandon her to take care of his child on her own, but the past month had been time for crazy thoughts so he pushed the feelings away.
He put his hand on her chin to hold her gaze, letting her see how serious he was about his next statement.
"We're getting married."
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December 2, 1998
Harry Potter
"We're getting married."
Hermione smacked him on the side of the shoulder so hard he fell over, then she smacked him twice more for good measure.
"That's not how you propose and I am not a desperate single mother looking for a man."
"Ow! Hermione! That's not how I meant it!" Harry kept his arms up just in case she decided he needed to be smacked again. Beautiful and violent. He peeked at her through his hands and then sighed and covered his face. He knew that look on her face, he had truly pissed her off now.
He picked up the side of his Auror's robe and covered his face so she couldn't see him.
"I truly didn't mean it like that. I just…" He sighed and trailed off, laying there on the ground in front of her covering his face with his robe like an idiot.
He stretched out and covered his face with his arm instead, not sure he could look at her and say what he thought.
"Then how did you mean it?"
He took a determined breath and bravely got back up, sitting in front of her cross legged. He motioned between her and him. "I'm not good at this. I didn't really have to do anything or say anything with my other relationships. I just kind of went along."
He stopped and gathered his thoughts. "Then there's you, and we're different. You've always pushed me to be better, you've always been there for me. Then suddenly you were gone. For a month." He laughed a little self-deprecatingly reaching for her hand, to hold tight. Just in case.
"Then I come here after having those dreams about you, and you tell me we're having a baby. My son. I know there's other things we have to work out, but that's what I want to work towards. I want us to be a family."
Harry gave a short huff, reaching up to pull at his hair. "Argh, I'm still not saying this right. It's not because of the baby, I mean I said that yes because of the baby but that's not why. There are these things that keep my world right, and you're one of them. I'm sorry Hermione. I'm sorry it took this to make me realize it, but I do realize it now."
Hermione gave him a confused look. "What about Ginny? And Harry – Ron is literally over there." She pointed over to where Ron was pacing back and forth about fifty feet away.
"I broke up with Ginny last month."
"What! I didn't know."
"If you had read my letters you would have." His caught his sharp tone a little too late. Shit. She paused then gave him a nod of acknowledgement.
"I'm sorry. I should have read your letters. Are you okay with breaking up with her? You guys seemed happy."
Harry glanced down briefly to keep her from seeing the anger in his eyes, he was not forgiving Ginny Weasley.
"Ginny took away your choices and mine. I'm grateful it was you that I was with, but that was only luck. We also have to be grateful someone wasn't murdered. She had some bizarre idea I would be impressed; I could never be with someone like that."
Her forehead was slightly wrinkled as she looked at him, her thinking face. He hoped he hadn't said the wrong thing, sometimes he had no idea how they got so offtrack it was like they spoke different languages.
They spent a long moment staring into each other's eyes, before she nodded resolutely. Harry braced himself for what she might say.
"I'm not getting married because I'm pregnant." He opened his mouth but she held out a hand to stop him. "Let me finish."
She took a deep breath. "I know where you're coming from. I always thought I'd fall in love, get married, then have kids. And even then that was after I finished Hogwarts, and accomplished some career goals. I want my child to have a stable loving family- not one that was forced to be together. I love you Harry but loving someone doesn't mean you can or should be married to them."
He looked at her, wishing it could be simpler. "What's your plan Hermione?"
She gave a small smile of acknowledgement of his words, yes, she had a plan. She always had a plan.
"I have to talk to Ron about this." She motioned between them. "I don't want to leave Hogwarts, I have to clear it with McGonagall if she will allow me to finish despite being pregnant. There are cosmetic charms I can employ to hide the pregnancy but I'd rather not. We can take it a day at a time okay?"
I'm okay with her not wanting to marry me. I'm okay with her not wanting to marry me. I'm okay with her not wanting to marry me.
Harry squeezed his eyes shut for a minute repeating it over and over. He swallowed hard, and met her soft gaze and nodded.
"One day at a time."
"Okay I need to talk to Ron alone now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Positive?"
"Harry. Yes."
With a sigh he got up and went to get Ron, sending him over. Harry didn't pace, he stood there watching Hermione talk to Ron. It was hard to control the impulse to go over when Ron got louder, he couldn't understand what he said but there was a lot pointing in his direction going on.
Finally, after an intense and sometimes loud conversation Ron stormed off in Harry's direction, shoulder checking him as he passed. Harry shook his head and made his way back to Hermione. He pulled her to her feet when she held out her hand, not saying anything as she dusted herself off.
She was looking towards the school where Ron had stormed off when she spoke. "Ron and I are taking a break."
He nodded because he didn't trust himself to speak, any response he had would have been wrong.
"Do you want me to come with you to talk to McGonagall?"
Her eyes went a little glassy before she blinked rapidly, reaching out to hold his hand tight. "Yeah, that would be nice."
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Hermione Granger
4 Weeks Pregnant
She sat across from McGonagall more nervous than she could every remember being in her life. She must have been hurting Harry with how hard she clenched onto his hand for comfort but he didn't pull away or betray it by any flicker of emotion on his face. He had this impassive Auror face on that she found kind of impressive. She needed to practice something like that.
McGonagall raised her eyebrows as if to say get on with it Miss Granger.
"Well ma'am, that incident on Halloween? When students were possessed?"
"Yes, I don't think I could forget that, Miss Granger."
Hermione glanced at Harry and he gave her a reassuring nod. "Harry and I were possessed and…" She continued in a low rushed voice. " Wehadsex,nowI'mpregnant."
McGonagall stood up so abruptly her chair fell back with a crack that made Hermione flinch. "What!"
"I'm pregnant."
"Potter I need you to leave the room, I need to speak with Miss Granger alone."
"Headmistress-"
"You are here by my leave Potter and I can withdraw it at any time, leave the room for a minute."
Still Harry hesitated and looked at Hermione, not moving until she nodded and let go of his hand. Hermione braced herself for what McGonagall might say, when the door closed.
Headmistress McGonagall rushed over to her chair, crouching down beside her. "My dear, you should have told me so much sooner! Have you considered all your options? I can help you with whatever you need."
McGonagall paused delicately. "You know, if you aren't ready to go through with a pregnancy there are other options. You don't have to have a baby now, if that's not your wish."
Hermione tightened her arms around herself. "I do want my baby."
Headmistress McGonagall nodded in agreement. "Okay, are you going to stay on and complete your year?"
"I wanted to, I wasn't sure you would let me… considering."
"Life happens to all of us Miss Granger, we're here to educate you and you are absolutely encouraged to stay to finish your studies."
"Thank you, Headmistress."
"I think it would be best if we got you your own rooms, you will require additional privacy. I'll get the school elves to work on prepping one of the extra teacher's suites. Also you need to talk with Madam Pomfrey to get placed on a regimen to properly support the baby. There are additional spells and even charms that can be tattooed to help you through the pregnancy."
"Tattooed charms?"
"Well Madam Pomfrey can go over it, and I'll get you some books about the birthing process and potential medical assistance you can obtain through runic tattoos."
Hermione's eyes were wide as she was given completely new information, she needed to start researching about this matter as soon as possible. She was staring off into space making a list of research topics when McGonagall let Harry back into the room and he rushed to her side, leaning towards her head to ask her in a low voice. "Everything okay?"
She nodded at him giving him a smile of reassurance and saw his shoulders relax.
"Now I realize circumstances being what they are, Potter will be visiting more often. I'm asking you two to keep it discrete and not go wandering all around the school. To her rooms directly Potter and right back out, especially if its during the school week. Now on weekends of course you can visit others, but I would still prefer you keep interactions with other students to a minimum."
Harry nodded in agreement.
McGonagall sighed, looking at the two of them.
"I always thought you two would end up together- just not like this."