---
Lin Feng had barely survived his ghostly live-stream debut. He returned to his cabin thinking maybe—just maybe—things would quiet down.
They did not.
The very next morning, he awoke to find several spiritual delivery birds outside, each carrying ethereal packages with glowing branding like "Snacklightenment Co.", "SoulBites—Feed Your Inner Peace", and "Breathe & Bite: Official Lin Feng Edition Meditative Cookies."
"...What the heck is happening?" Lin Feng muttered, staring at a floating crate of what appeared to be low-calorie celestial mooncakes shaped like his face.
Bai Xue wandered out, still wrapped in a blanket. "You haven't checked your spirit-mailbox yet, have you?"
"What mailbox?"
"The one that popped up after your retreat was listed on SpiritAdvisor. You've got five stars by the way."
"SpiritAdvisor? Is that like TripAdvisor for ghosts?"
"Exactly that. You're trending under 'Best Unexpected Enlightenment' and 'Tastiest Meditation Snack Pairings.'"
Lin Feng rubbed his temples again. "I didn't even make the snacks!"
Flame Duck strutted in proudly with a ghostly clipboard. "Technically, I did. I trademarked your philosophy while you were napping and partnered with three afterlife bakeries."
Lin Feng stared. "You trademarked me?"
Flame Duck nodded smugly. "You're now officially the founder of the Snack Meditation Movement—'Feed the soul, feed the belly.' Catchy, right?"
"...I want to scream, but I'm too spiritually exhausted."
It got worse.
By lunchtime, the mountain retreat was overrun by spirits holding snack mats, branded tea gourds, and asking when Lin Feng would lead the next "Breath-Crunch-Breathe" session.
Even the quiet haunted tree had a T-shirt now that read: "I was meditating before it was cool."
As he stepped out of his cabin, he was immediately mobbed by ghost fans.
"Master Lin Feng! Do spicy ghost chips count as spiritually purifying?"
"Where can I buy your enlightenment biscuit mix?"
"Do you offer virtual meditation-snack retreats? Asking for my cousin. He's stuck in purgatory."
Lin Feng held up his hands. "Alright! Alright! Everyone calm down—meditate… or something!"
That, unfortunately, only encouraged them.
One overly enthusiastic ghost screamed, "HE SPOKE! MASTER LIN FENG SAYS WE MUST 'CALM DOWN.' DEEP MESSAGE!"
Bai Xue leaned over and whispered, "You're accidentally becoming a spiritual meme, you know?"
"I am going to walk into the forest and scream into a void," Lin Feng replied calmly.
"Too late," she said, handing him a scroll. "You've just been invited to The Celestial Symposium of Snack-Based Spiritual Philosophies. They want you as the keynote speaker."
Lin Feng stared at the sky. "Heavens, why have you forsaken me?"
---
Later that evening, Lin Feng tried to hold a serious "de-escalation" meeting with his ghostly followers.
He stood at the top of the meditation cliff, robe billowing dramatically. Below him, hundreds of ghosts sat cross-legged, clutching snack baskets.
"Esteemed… uh… translucent beings," he began, "I need to confess something. I am not a master. I'm not enlightened. I have no idea what I'm doing. I came here to take a nap. That's all. Just… a nap."
Gasps echoed across the misty crowd.
One ghost sobbed, "Is this… a metaphor for letting go of illusions?"
Another whispered, "It's so profound."
"I don't think this is working," Lin Feng said, rubbing his forehead.
A third ghost stood up. "Master Lin Feng, if your journey began with rest… then rest must be the true path! This is the most relatable spiritual message I've ever heard!"
Suddenly, banners unfurled down the side of the cliff: "REST IS ENLIGHTENMENT."
Flame Duck shouted from the sidelines, "You've accidentally started a nap cult!"
"I'm not even tired anymore!" Lin Feng yelled, waving his arms. "I'm just confused and emotionally bloated from spiritual cookies!"
---
Later That Night…
Bai Xue sat beside Lin Feng, both of them sipping hot tea under the stars.
She glanced sideways at him. "You could just… go with it. You might actually be helping these ghosts. Most of them never got closure. Now they're smiling, resting, laughing. Even the angry specter who used to scream at midnight is learning origami."
Lin Feng looked thoughtful for a moment. "You think I'm doing good?"
"You're doing something. And hey, you're also the only person I know who managed to start a movement by trying to take a nap."
He sighed. "Fine. I'll lead one more snack meditation session… but only if we can add mandatory quiet time afterward."
Bai Xue smiled. "Deal."
From the shadows, Flame Duck whispered to himself, "Tomorrow… branded blankets.