It was a peaceful morning at Azure Sky Sect. Birds chirped, disciples meditated, and Lin Feng was sprinting through the eastern pavilion holding his stomach.
"I shouldn't have eaten that fourth bowl of soul porridge…" he groaned, clutching his abdomen like it owed him money.
Flame Duck waddled behind him, looking both amused and slightly offended—soul porridge was his invention, after all.
Lin Feng skidded around a corner. "Where is the bathroom?! Why does this sect have twelve treasure vaults but one toilet?!"
He spotted a suspiciously quiet stone door tucked behind a pillar, half-covered in vines. A crude wooden sign read: "Do Not Enter – Extremely Secret and Totally Not a Bathroom."
"Bingo," Lin Feng muttered, yanking it open.
He immediately regretted it.
Inside was a massive underground hall lit by green torches. Shadowy figures in black armor knelt in perfect silence. Murals of death, stealth, and various tragic assassinations adorned the walls. In the center, a massive obsidian throne sat, unoccupied… until Lin Feng stumbled in.
"WHO DARES ENTER THE SACRED CHAMBER OF THE SILENT BLADE?" a voice boomed.
Lin Feng froze, mid-waddle. "Uh… I'm looking for the latrine?"
All the assassins stared.
Then, as one, they dropped to their knees and bowed. "THE SHADOWMASTER HAS RETURNED!"
Lin Feng blinked. "Huh?"
A masked woman with one glowing eye stepped forward. "Only the Shadowmaster would be so bold as to speak of bodily functions in the Hall of Whispers."
Another assassin added, "And only a true master would enter through the Door of Certain Death… thinking it was a latrine."
"Yep," someone whispered reverently. "This guy's definitely the chosen one."
Lin Feng looked behind him. "Wait, you mean me?! I just got lost!"
Flame Duck poked his head in and quacked once, judgmentally.
The masked woman bowed. "Shadowmaster, your duck spirit has confirmed your identity. Please, take your rightful seat."
Lin Feng, utterly confused, was ushered to the throne. It was uncomfortably spiky.
"I… really just need to—"
"Silence!" she declared. "The Silent Blade Guild recognizes your leadership. Speak your first decree!"
Lin Feng panicked. "Uhh… right. First decree: no assassinations before breakfast. It's bad for digestion."
The assassins gasped in unison. "Such compassion…"
"Truly a revolutionary mind…"
One assassin wiped a tear. "My lactose intolerance thanks you, great Shadowmaster."
Another assassin, slightly older and missing two fingers, leaned in. "Also, should we still proceed with the plan to poison the Elder of the Twin Moons Sect?"
Lin Feng's brain screamed. "Poison who now?!"
He grabbed the nearest scroll and waved it. "Cancel all missions! Everyone gets a vacation week! With optional yoga!"
Dead silence.
Then—cheering.
"THE SHADOWMASTER IS MERCIFUL!"
"YOGA?! I haven't stretched in centuries!"
"Truly… the Blade bends, but does not break!"
A bell rang somewhere in the distance, signaling tea time.
Lin Feng took the opportunity to stand. "Great. Glad we had this chat. I'll… uh… be right back. Bathroom emergency."
He ran.
---
Back at Azure Sky Sect
"Why is Lin Feng's duck wearing a ninja mask?" Bai Xue asked.
Lin Feng stumbled into the courtyard, pale and panting. "I think… I'm a crime boss now?"
Bai Xue didn't even blink. "Again?"
Flame Duck nodded solemnly.