[Mass Update: 5/8]
Facing the, greeting from his friend, Kotomine Kirei stood in silence, unable to decide what expression was appropriate.
The Holy Grail War was, by its very nature, a blood-stained conflict between magi. Trust was a luxury no Master could afford, especially not among those who entered the war driven by desire.
And yet, the moment he saw Roland's warm smile, all the unease in Kirei's heart dissipated.
It was as if they weren't standing on a battlefield at all, but walking once again along that tree-lined path where their unlikely friendship had quietly taken root.
---
"Assassin, stay where you are."
"Master!"
Assassin's voice was sharp with alarm. For a Servant whose entire essence was built on stealth and protection, the idea of letting his Master walk into potential danger alone was intolerable.
But in the end, he obeyed.
Kirei took several steps forward and came to stand beside Roland, no more than a body's length away. His voice, as always, carried the weight of inner conflict.
"From a tactical standpoint, my Master's decision wasn't necessarily wrong. We failed to gain the upper hand against Lancer in our first clash, and even if Archer used his ultimate Noble Phantasm, it's uncertain we would've reaped any meaningful benefit. With two Servants still lying in wait nearby, retreating was the logical call."
"From a strategist's view, perhaps," Roland replied with a wry smile. "After all, Command Seals exist to restrain Servants. Using them from the Master's perspective is only natural, just like how a chess player commands their pieces."
"But the Holy Grail War isn't chess."
He turned his gaze to the sky above the scorched port, voice growing more serious.
"In this war, compatibility is worth more than pure firepower. The King of Heroes is not a tool to be used, he cannot be controlled. Use Command Seals to bend him, and he'll only turn on you. Treat him with sincerity instead, offer him magic power freely and serve him as a true vassal, and even if the Holy Grail slips from your grasp, the reward you earn may still be more than enough to bring prosperity to the Tōsaka family for generations."
Kirei was quiet for a long time.
At last, he spoke. "Perhaps that's true. But Master… is a proud magus. He could never bow sincerely to a Servant."
If one's goal were merely to achieve a wish, such reverence might suffice. But to reach the Root, to access Akasha, it demanded the death of all seven Servants. From the beginning, Tōsaka Tokiomi had always intended to use Archer... and then kill him.
To him, a Servant was nothing more than a powerful, but temporary, instrument. A disposable tool in a pursuit older than the War itself. Risking a Command Seal to let that "tool" act freely? Unthinkable.
"Indeed," Roland murmured, "they're fundamentally incompatible."
He paused for a moment, then shifted the subject with calm ease.
"Let's leave that aside for now. Since we last spoke… Kirei, have you found your answer?"
"…I…"
The question was simple. But Kotomine Kirei faltered, shame twisting his expression.
Ever since Roland had planted that seed of doubt, Kirei had searched feverishly for an answer. At first, he thought he had found a path forward, something that brought him joy. But what he discovered was far darker.
He had always known, somewhere deep inside, that his joy came not from love, or prayer, or righteousness… but from the pain of others.
Their suffering brought him calm. Their misery was his peace.
Was he born without the capacity for happiness? Was he simply a hollow man, cursed to drink only from the foulest dregs just to feel something, if anything at all, before judgment finally came?
Kirei let out a soft, bitter laugh.
"I found the answer… but I still don't understand it."
That search had stripped him of hope. Even as a boy, he'd sensed he was different. But he fought it. He tried.
He fell in love. He became a priest. He clung to God's teachings. He lived in self-denial for more than thirty years.
And the cruel irony was this: the moment he accepted that he could not be happy like others, he realized that only by embracing his true nature could the void in his heart be filled.
He was evil.
And all his life, he had been fighting against himself to pretend otherwise.
In front of the only man who truly saw him, Kotomine Kirei let the dam break. His voice trembled with years of pent-up grief and rage.
"Why are some people born happy… and others not? And what does happiness even mean for those who were never meant to know it? When I was drowning in self-loathing, I prayed, I begged the Lord for answers! But none ever came…"
"Why did fate allow someone like me to be born? Why do I still exist?!"
His eyes were wild now. That hollow look had turned to feverish desperation.
Roland had recognized his own nature long ago and lived freely. Kirei was not so fortunate. He longed for something he had never tasted, genuine happiness.
And now, standing on the edge, Kotomine Kirei clutched at his last hope like a dying man grabbing for a single breath of air.
But Roland didn't answer him directly.
Instead, his voice softened, gentle, almost conspiratorial.
"Kirei… do you believe in fate?"
He stepped closer, a strange light in his crimson eyes.
"Do you believe that day we met was more than chance? You, lost in your questions. Me, a man with nothing. Two hollow beings pulled together, that's fate."
"If fate guided us to meet… then perhaps that's the very reason you've lived until now."
Kirei looked up, stunned. Roland's smile was warm, patient.
"Do you believe true happiness exists?" he asked.
Kirei's voice was hoarse. "Does it… really exist?"
"Of course it does," Roland replied, his grin widening. "It's a place. A realm. A paradise called Heaven. And even if this world denies us that joy, we can create a world where we belong."
There was fire in his eyes now. Dark red, like magma, like blood. It was radiant and terrifying, as if the inferno of hell itself burned within him.
He extended a hand.
"So, Kirei. Even if it costs you your life… even if the path brings you more suffering than anything you've ever known… even if it means betraying everyone you've ever served… will you still follow me?"
Kotomine Kirei bowed his head. His hands trembled.
But then, without hesitation, he sank to one knee.
He took Roland's hand with solemn reverence, his eyes alight with a pale, sacred madness.
"There is only one answer."
"I will be loyal to you until the world falls apart, until the day the paradise of true happiness finally descends."
Roland's smile returned.
"Then, Kirei… enjoy yourself."
Half of the most important condition had now been fulfilled.
Fuyuki City was growing more interesting by the day.
Watching over the man who had just pledged himself entirely, Roland spoke with quiet finality.
"Go. Unleash yourself. And perhaps then… you'll find the path to your own Heaven."
[T/N: ULtimate Fanboy Kirei has been unleashed]