Hisashi was multitasking again—not that he ever really stopped. On one monitor, he was knee-deep in Marvel lore, reading an obscure wiki page about the Ego Stone, a little-known seventh Infinity Stone that made even Thanos look like a purple thumb with anger issues. On the other screen, he was in the middle of hacking into several major online banking systems—redistributing funds like some morally ambiguous, anime-watching Robin Hood.
"Well, Bezos won't miss a few million," he muttered, sipping his third energy drink of the night. "Besides, it's for a good cause. My Steam wishlist."
Suddenly, his high-performance, RGB-lit, water-cooled PC—custom-built with love, obsession, and the occasional anime sticker—began to heat up like a toaster possessed by the spirit of Skynet.
"Eh? Why is it glowing red? Is it going Super Saiyan?!"
BOOM.
The last thing Hisashi saw was a pop-up ad for a new VTuber model before the room turned into a Michael Bay-style explosion.
Time passed. A lot of time.
Hisashi floated in the void, drifting through the endless nothingness like a glitch in the Matrix. At first, he counted hours. Then days. Then weeks. Months. Years.
"Alright, so that's... five hundred seventy-seven trillion, nine hundred twenty-four billion, six hundred... screw this," he groaned, flipping upside down mid-float. "How long have I been dead? Feels like I missed at least five One Piece arcs. Wait—did it end?! No spoilers!"
Eventually, a ball of white light floated toward him.
"Hey," said Hisashi, squinting. "You a Digimon or something?"
The ball pulsed. "What are you doing in the void?"
"Oh, y'know, just vibing since I exploded because someone up there doesn't know how to code reality."
"Ohhh…" said the ball sheepishly. "You must be the soul I accidentally sneezed into the void."
"YOU WHAT?" Hisashi screamed, voice cracking like a 14-year-old at Comic-Con. "You sent me to purgatory with a SNEEZE?!"
"Yes," the light said unapologetically.
Hisashi inhaled, then calmed down like a teacher hiding inner rage at a dumb question. "Okay. Who are you? Celestial furball? God? Obnoxious narrator?"
"I go by many names," the light said dramatically. "But you can call me... Super Cool Daddy Goku Fan Waifu Lover R.O.B."
"…I'm not calling you that."
"Okay, just R.O.B. then."
"Thank you, R.O.B. Now, listen here—since you've practically softlocked my soul like it's a buggy Bethesda game, what are you gonna do about it?"
"Well," R.O.B. said, "since it's my bad, I'll reincarnate you into a fictional world. Looks like you were reading Marvel stuff before your... kaboom. How about Marvel?"
"YES." Hisashi's eyes sparkled like a shonen protagonist powering up for the first time. "Make me a superhero. Or supervillain. Or that one guy who just drinks coffee in the background but knows everyone's secrets!"
"I'll reincarnate you into the remains of Ultron."
"…Eh." Hisashi scratched his chin. "That's like waking up in a scrapyard with depression."
R.O.B. floated in silence.
"How about this," Hisashi said, business smile snapping into place like he was selling a dodgy pyramid scheme. "I've been floating here for what feels like a millennium. I need something premium. So gimme Vision's body as my main. Ultron can be the armor, a side piece. Like Iron Man meets Eva Unit-01."
"Well, Vision's body is mostly destroyed," R.O.B. replied. "And he doesn't have the Mind Stone anymore."
"Then slap the Ego Stone in my head. Come on, live a little."
"I can do that, but the body's still wrecked."
"Then fuse me with Quicksilver. I wanna be fast, furious, and slightly unhinged. Like Sonic, but if he watched Berserk."
"…Okay."
"So when am I being dropped into the Marvel world? Please don't say during Thanos's snap or while Hulk is peeing or something."
"Hmm," R.O.B. said, snickering. "Avengers: Endgame."
"…You son of a—"
Before he could finish his sentence or invent new cuss words only known to anime protagonists, a portal opened beneath him and sucked him in like a Dyson vacuum on steroids.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUU—"
Scene Transition: Earth-199999 - Battle of Earth
A damaged Ultron shell suddenly twitched among the ruined remnants of the battlefield. From beneath rubble and scorched grass, glowing blue lines began crawling across metal, like circuits being reawakened. In the center of its forehead, a gem shimmered—not yellow, but purple and cosmic, radiating ego, power, and pure "main character energy."
Hisashi blinked inside the body, now fused with synthetic tissue, vibranium, and whatever was left of Pietro Maximoff's DNA.
"Ugh. My joints feel like I downloaded a cursed modpack. Wait—Am I Ultravision Quicksashi? Wait, no. Quicksivision Ulshiro?"
He looked down at his metal arms, pulsing with power. "Ooooh, I'm sexy. Thanos about to catch these pixelated hands."
He took one step—and fell flat on his face.
"…Okay, maybe I need to calibrate. Baby steps."