So that's what happened
The memory ended, just like that
And the scene changed once more
Xue Hua's vision flickered for a brief moment before he found himself in nothingness,
A place covered by the vast snow,
Snow was the only thing he could see in this plain field,
Why did that thing show him those memories of Xiaoming?
It was weird, those emotions she felt...her loneliness and memories it was as if they were his own but strangely his heart felt calm.
He couldn't understand why but he didn't dwell on it, it looked as though he was completely unaffected by all those things,
But remembering the chill
How her heart sank with realisation followed by stark terror
...He didn't dare unclench his fist in case he found them trembling,
He clenched his hands tightly, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. Strangely enough, in this place of past memories he could get a faint smell of blossoms but it was a different illusion or not he only got that scent for a brief moment, barely half a breath.
He felt this weirdness around him, it wasn't an aching heart but-
It was far more uncomfortable for him to bear, if he had to describe it... he'd describe it as the feeling of having lost something forgotten.
Something he didn't remember, but knowing that he definitely lost it. It seems that that thing was done showing him her memories as nothing changed even after a while of just standing still
Even though he could not answer how he got here and why he ended up here, he was certain that it was the subconscious plane.
He hardly needed to think about it, wherever he was, he knew he was within that beast now within its subconscious or conscious mind that had merged with Xiaoming allowing it full control.
To think it was this self aware... It was baffling to think so, how it could trick her into following it then slowly consuming the entire village and how it was now for some reason showing him "her" memories.
He believed that he would've been consumed just as quickly as others or perhaps there would've still been traces of Xiaoming's actual consciousness and that she was the one actually showing him her memories-
but it was not possible, she was fully consumed
The one that was consuming the entire village claimed its first victim like a starved beast.
Then it took advantage of Xiaoming's emotions--
exploited her father's grief
betrayed the villager's love
Consumed her mother's symbol of love and joy
And finally it was now trying to consume him as well
Whether it was a beast, a monster or a spirit...
It had to be stopped
Otherwise, like a persistent parasite it would latch onto another village as its host to sustain itself
And who knew when it would move to another village?
Despite being clueless he wasn't oblivious, that thing for whatever reason was trying to replenish itself
Although he couldn't understand why it was consuming only souls
While leaving their bodies- without souls
A mere husk,
Was it to indulge in cheap puppetry play?
He still remembered the lively expressions of the people when they first entered the village, their expressions so warm that they could fool even the most sober person
Was it to devour more souls?
Is that also why
When he and Yue Ran were wandering in the wild they couldn't find any beasts or animals unless they went far?
That seemed to be the answer
Now he understood why he felt strange when he entered the village,
He felt strange now that he understood what Siquan concealed
Or
rather what it tried to conceal.
That thing had been watching them since the moment they stepped into the village, despite them not feeling it when they were with the "people" of Siquan giving the illusion of its attention going away it never actually stopped watching them.
It seemed to have been taking things slowly but with their entrance and seeing them try to figure it out it felt threatened
Which probably was also what caused it to hasten its actions surely.
And Yun Buizha... He was one hell of a lucky person.
To have gotten lost and be found by them and having brought them into this swamped of a place he called his village
Xue Hua thought, the images of Yue Ran bringing him to their cave and meeting him for the first time resurfacing in his mind.
He didn't notice it but he had been clenching his jaw for a while now.
Despite everything, he couldn't do anything so as if resigned to the situation he looked up
Seeing only white,
As if forcing him to look back to the vast emptiness he stood in after her death.
Xue Hua started walking
Unlike Yue Ran, he was neither strong nor skilled, he didn't have a way of pulling himself out of the place
But he wasn't a coward nor would he simply resign to a slow death
Despite knowing that he could do nothing, he wanted to do something
So, even if he was stuck in a plane of consciousness with no visible exit nor any object he continued forward.
He believed that there must at least be something, in the nothingness he stood, there had to be something, since nothingness couldn't be nothingness when he could still feel his beating heart.
The moment he found himself in this place, it was no longer empty, and a void couldn't form from something.
He firmly believed that.
As long as he walked, no matter how far, he would definitely find something, a crack, another memory, a core... Or even the thing itself.
He walked for a long time, he felt burning on his feet but he didn't stop, he felt everything vividly.
That thing could perfectly replicate his sense into its own mind or maybe he had transferred it Xue Hua wasn't sure.
But he knew, the thing was trying to stop him, make him give up, it was following him, its attention completely poured on the small frame that walked amidst nothing but snow.
Despite walking for a long time he found nothing, despite feeling as though his feet were bleeding he didn't slow down.
In the overflowing silence he only had his breath and his pumping heart accompany him.
He didn't notice when, but that thing had finally come out.
As Xue Hua heard a faint sound behind him,
A burbling sound, that could only come from a running water
He turned around and just as he had expected--
There it was,
The river they saw after leaving the desolate village.
Xue Hua couldn't help but feel a slight shiver travel down his spine, as his pace faltered for a brief moment, slowing into a brief halt.
His expression turned sour as he stared at it with a deep frown and disdain, it knew what Xue Hua was feeling and as though it was trying to mock him its calm surface trembled the soft sounds shifting into a faster and more aggressive rushing sound.
Xue Hua felt a strong discomfort around his stomach,
He finally understood, the reason he suddenly felt ill
To think he had forgotten about it.
The moment he slipped into the river, almost drowning
Yue Ran surely found it ridiculous, Xue Hua knew that, but what he didn't know was how- before he fell while sitting near the edge dipping his robes he heard a sharp ring for a split second
Then the next moment, he found himself within, his body feeling heavier underwater, as if something was...pressing onto him, as if
Something was submerging him down to the floor that felt bottomless.
He felt something odd, but before he could recognise what it was, he was pulled out by the immortal, who then banished him to the fireside and took over.
As time passed, he simply forgot about it, but maybe he should've thought about it longer about how he felt the water trying to make its way through his seven orifices
His body twitched, as he recalled those feelings,
How would he help forgetting it when the immortal beside him remained so calm about it all?
Xue Hua was bound to just shrug it off thinking of it as his illusion, or maybe a harmless prank of some kind, pulled by mischievous spirits
Maybe it would've remained harmless, if they hadn't stepped foot unto it's lair.
But they were all just silly thoughts now, what's done was done
They had to deal with it.
"Tsk"
Helpless to do anything, Xue Hua clicked his tongue and continued walking forward, paying the sound no mind, despite its drawing closeness, Xue Hua walked as if he had sealed off his hearing.
His thoughts went many places, he thought about his physical body, and asked what happened to it. But… How could he answer himself?
Before he found himself in those past memories, he was already losing consciousness, the only thing he could remember was the sharp pain like his innards being sliced through from within.
Xue Hua drew his hands rubbing the sides of his stomach as he walked on, his face growing ugly
He didn't know where or what his body was doing now, but he was certain, he wasn't dead yet--
There was still some hope.
As long as he found anything
Maybe it was his desperation growing past his limits or maybe it was his anxiousness catching up to him
Yue Ran's silhouette slipped past his mind.
Whether he was conscious of it or not, Xue Hua had been avoiding thinking about him since those memories started, repressing any and every thought about him
Because...if he thought about him, he'd grow more desperate, he'd have to face his fears, he'd have to admit that he truly was powerless now, without his memories, without his...identity
He only had that immortal to rely on.
To even pass a single day with the certainty of seeing the next morning, he had to rely on that immortal.
It felt quite miserable.
Even now, all he could do was depend on him, waiting on him to save him again, over and over.
But--
he didn't know if he'd be rescued again right now...
Yue Ran had saved him multiple times, but that didn't mean he'd save him every single time
And what if he couldn't find him? What if he just gave up because he couldn't? Even then Cue Hua wouldn't be able to bring himself to hate the immortal, he could only be thankful...
to having given him a longer life.
His heart trembled
'Maybe he had already left'
After all, as far as he could remember, he couldn't think of a single moment where he hadn't just been a mere burden.
Maybe the immortal thought,
'good riddance'
Leaving him to die
Xue Hua wouldn't be surprised even if he had done that
Rather, he would remain grateful to that man.
His strength seem to grow weaker and weaker as his pace got slower,
He wanted to run away as a final desperate act, but he knew, that would just exhaust him faster, after all
No matter how far he walked, nor how long he preserved through gritted teeth, the river followed him never once faltering or slowing down unlike him.
And before long he finally realised why,
It was trying to consume his consciousness too
When he realised that, he had nothing but the memories of the immortal, and that... He didn't want to give up so easily.
Yue Ran was the only memory he had and it was all he had.
Even his name, "Xue Hua" was given by the immortal,
So Xue Hua ran through bated breath, but his hopes fumbled further and further, as he saw nothing no matter where he turned, no matter where he looked he still couldn't see anything, no trees, no valleys, no cracks, no exit.
Only Snow.
Maybe he had begun hating the snow itself, as his heart burned,
It was just like his first memory, the loneliness, the emptiness, the creeping death that was threatening to consume him whole.
But at least, it was bearable when he was alone, at least the loneliness didn't consume him, at least he didn't run with desperation.
At least...the image of that immortal didn't plague his mind despite the dread and anxiety from the inevitable death
His legs had grown tired, he didn't understand how-
How could he grow tired even in this situation?
He thought of Xiaoming's last memory, her desperate attempt to avoid death but her death was inevitable, her memory, emotions and soul were brutally consumed by it
Even though he wasn't physically here unlike that situation... It felt as though he couldn't escape his death either.
He bit down on his lips,
The river was creeping up closer and faster,
It could've swallowed him long ago if it wanted to,
But as if it wanted Xue Hua to try and run in vain, to feel helpless it only followed him slowly.
Then finally, Xue Hua stopped, no matter what he did, he couldn't outrun it
Admitting this, he felt himself resign to a death that should've come earlier.
But still, he hoped, that he'd be saved, again.
That he'd meet that chilling yet breathtaking gaze once more
The river stopped too, seeing that its prey had stopped as well
And finally, when Xue Hua faced death, it took the form of the little girl.
He stood face to face with "Xiaoming"
Unlike those burning eyes, all he saw was a lifeless gaze in that hollow figure.
Xue Hua stood steadfast, despite his helplessness in his situation, despite being seconds away from death, he stood tall before the being, never once lowering his gaze
They both stared at each other, then
"She" opened her mouth, as the river crept closer it circled around Xue Hua like a python before finally suffocating him and taking his final breath.
"Ancient one"
"Her" voice was nothing more than noise, as it felt like a bunch of voices jumbled together, it felt piercing to listen to.
Even so, Xue Hua didn't miss a single word
So when "she" called him like that, he was caught off guard
But "she" wasn't done speaking,
However, he couldn't hear her other words anymore, he merely saw her mouth move before he heard a voice close to his ears
"Xue Hua"
"That's enough"
Suddenly Xue Hua felt something grab him.
Dragging him away from the place, before he blacked out, he could still see "her" standing still as he got dragged away.
When he finally came to, his throat thundered with a violent cough,
He immediately sat up, feeling Yue Ran's warm hands support his back as he coughed violently.
His throat felt raw and his fingers trembled as they made their way to his neck, and finally as he coughed, something came out, something almost like a thick slab of---
adhesive fat.
His eyes swept past it, and he breathed heavily,
His mind was a mess, jumbled, and he couldn't think clearly,
But one thing was for sure, he would no longer be tormented by "her" like in the evening
Grabbing his own neck, he stared at the ceiling which he noticed had turned red and looked as if it had been covered in flesh
Then coming to himself, he immediately looked around.
His eyes widening at what he saw
Torn pieces of fleshes all over the ground as if pigs had been slaughtered in this room.
Then, blood coloured the entire flour a dark filthy red.
Yue Ran followed his line of sight, seemingly understanding Xue Hua's shock he gently tapped Xue Hua's back before getting up
After the warmth left his back, Xue Hua looked at the immortal, yet the first thing he noticed wasn't his expression like usual, rather it was the state of his clothes, which were stained with patches of blood large and small in many areas.
This sight felt wrong, almost ridiculous, he looked up at the immortal with a questioning face,
Yet there was not a single discomfort in his face, he made it look like it was just a normal thing, that he was merely how he usually was.
He wasn't in any rush, no he seemed relatively at ease.
But Xue Hua was deeply troubled, he swallowed his shaking breath,
"W-what is this?"
His finger trembled as he pointed at the patches of blood around Yue Ran, the immortal merely raised his eyebrows at him, then nodded towards the wall beside Xue Hua which looked like the belly of a big elephant which had been cut opened spilling out its insides while blood still oozed from it.
Seeing this Xue Hua immediately looked at himself, then he finally noticed how
He too was covered in blood, much more severely than the immortal.
He shut his mouth, looking at the spilling bag once more,
He now has the answer to his question when he was inside the conscious plane, he didn't need to hear any words to understand what had happened,
He had been--
"Swallowed."
Yue Ran finished the sentence in his mind, meeting his gaze, Yue Ran only gave a short nod as if confirming his thoughts once more.
Then, Xue Hua found himself staring at the floor beside him, traces of slashes and neat cuts and chunks of flesh laid on the ground
Yet when he looked at himself, he found not a single scratch on his body
"I found you like this"
Yue Ran explained without looking at the child
Yue Ran couldn't be bothered to look at the kid and see or read his expression, he was still thinking about the present situation
His eyebrows tightened slightly recalling the earlier events
After that monster revealed itself, it didn't hold back any longer and unleashed everything on Yue Ran, unfortunately that wasn't enough.
Even so, it was troublesome with just how stubborn it was.
Despite being sliced in pieces, crushed and deformed, it still merged with itself before attacking over and over, taking the figure of a human, though a rather deformed one
When he began looking for Xue Hua it had already been a while, the house had merged with raw flesh yet he couldn't get a single whiff of a rustic scent
Before long, he found a huge lump on the wall within the room where they slept,
"Found you"
Yue Ran stared at the throbbing meat and muscles, then he took a single glance around the room,
Finding the window now completely torn and pulled apart
Had he come a little later, it might've gotten a bit tricky.
But the kid, when he sliced the lump open was still breathing, his energy still stable despite most of his energy being drained by the monster.
In that moment, he found himself surprised by the kid once more--
His will to live truly was stronger than....most he had seen.
Totally unlike his master who--
He pressed his eyes tightly as his master's image flashed through his mind, then opened them once more, the turmoil no longer visible on his eyes.
On the other hand, Xue Hua had regained his strength too
"What about the chief?" He asked,
Standing beside Yue Ran despite his wobbly stance.
Xue Hua's eyes flickered with a strange emotion, as he opened his mouth with hesitance and continued, "and Xiaoming..?"
Even though he knew she was dead, the least he could do was ask about her, remember her--
So that her life was not without meaning, even if only one person was left to remember her.
Xue Hua would be that person.
Xue Hua braced himself for a long silence but instead he heard the immortal say,
"See for yourself"
His voice gentle and patient, contrasting with the voice he heard earlier, making it much more comforting.
Soon, Yue Ran opened the door, walking out then leading Xue Hua towards the furthest room in the corner.