3rd POV]
(The Joe Rogan podcast)
On that day, the JRE podcast episode featured Andrew Dice Clay, a fellow stand-up comedian like Joe Rogan. The two friends had known each other for quite a while, staying close, so he was not really an unknown guest.
The conversation began and started off smoothly. You could tell from their chemistry that they were both friends. There were no awkward moments to be found like it was for other guests.
Both were comedians, so their talk was filled with jokes and jabs about politics, people, fighters, and even countries. It was turning out to be a splendid episode.
Although these factors helped, they were not the reason why this specific episode would go viral. Andrew Dice Clay was a popular stand-up comedian, but nowhere near global fame like Adam Sandler or something.
But the reason why this episode and clips of it would go viral was because of their discussion an hour into the episode.
"Hey, did you watch the documentary about that lion? What was it called again, Leo?" Andrew asked while smoking a blunt with one hand, his face had a permanent smile at this point.
"Of course," Joe Rogan said like it was obvious, "Everyone watches that, the lion's a superstar."
"I'm wondering, can you really call that a documentary? Whenever I watch that show, I always get the feeling that I'm watching a movie and the lion is the superstar. But the show insists that it is a documentary."
"What happened in the latest episodes? The lion waged war against crocodiles, like what the fuck is that? Do they expect us to believe that shit and that it's not some different clips edited to imitate a story they wanna tell?" Andrew said, "Slaying other lions like he is the lion slayer or something. He goes wandering around the savannah, one-shotting every lion he could find like he is some bounty hunter in an old cowboy movie. It's ridiculous."
Joe Rogan fixed his posture to answer. He folded his arms and leaned forward, his body language was not open anymore but guarded. It was subtle but obvious for a martial artist like him.
He was ready to defend something.
"Well it's a show made from real-life events that actually happened. The things on that show are all the truths, no matter how outlandish it gets. So yes, in that way, it is totally a documentary," Joe said.
"Really? Everything about that show is real and nothing is made-up or exaggerated," Andrew curled his fingers when he said the word 'real'.
"Of course," Joe answered simply.
"Come on Joe...?" Andrew said in disbelief.
"Don't do that," Joe said with a sigh, "Don't try that shit on me Andrew. You are going to start sounding like those people who still think the earth is flat or those that do not believe dinosaurs exist, although there are plenty of proof saying otherwise."
"You really think there is a dark-maned lion almost triple the size of other lions, hunting down buffalo or some shit and waging war with crocodiles?" Andrew asked.
"Yes," Joe answered.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I've seen him," Joe answered with a serious nod.
A pause.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"A few years ago, I think. When he was really in his prime and had not fallen off as hard as he did now," Joe Rogan said.
"Okay, then tell me about it," Andrew asked, his attention fully captured.
"I shouldn't. With the ongoing show and all that, I shouldn't really reveal anything," Joe said, "But if your mind is already blown to disbelief by what has gone on so far, wait till you see the new episodes. Wait till he goes out of the Serengeti and even comes back," Joe said with a knowing smile.
"How do you know all this?" Andrew asked, "What's your secret?"
"Well, I have been fortunate enough to have friends who are working closely on this case. And I came to know about Leo since years ago, in the early timeframe when he hunts down a buffalo, I think. I knew about that when it happened from my friend Forest Galante," he said.
"Can't you say anything? Anything at all? Even little bits and pieces? I would totally believe it coming from you," Andrew probed curiously.
"Well..." Joe sighed, "Spoiler alert, when I met him, Leo was weighing around half a ton."
"A cat that weighs half a ton," Andrew deadpanned.
"That's what it was. Meeting him was single-handedly the most extraordinary thing that happened in my life. The impact he had on me was much more than even when I got married or even when I held my first child," he said, "It was kind of like enlightenment where I realised how much less we are."
"His head alone was the size of me, Andrew. I kid you not. His height while standing on four was so much taller and when he stood against a tree, it was like seeing a Godzilla in real life,"
"Nooo,"
"Yes, it was. The sheer presence he had even a hundred metres away was undeniable. It was like all your little animal instinct inside your body wanted to flee. It wanted to do nothing but pass out so that the possible pain inflicted could be avoided. You become this small, tiny creature in front of him,"
"I think I lost all human arrogance back then. Because just seeing him from a distance felt like you were looking at God, that's the best way you can describe it. When you are in his vicinity, you are absolutely aware that the only reason you are breathing is because he allows it so," Joe retold about his experience.
"What were you doing there anyway? Did you go just to look?"
"No, no no. The researchers went there to study, I think the fourth generation of his cubs, and I got the opportunity to tag along," Joe said.
"They went to study his cubs?"
"Yeah."
"Why?" Andrew asked with a quizzical look.
"Well, unfortunately for nature, the offspring of Leo inherited the trait that made Leo so special. It is a much diluted version, but still enough for his cubs to absolutely dominate the continent wherever they go," Joe said.
"So they're as big as him?"
"No, no, but they are still big. They have the average size of ligers, a mix of lions and tigers that were these huge cats that are thought to not be able to survive in the wild due to their sheer size," Joe answered.
"They called them Panthera Titanius, a subspecies of the Panthera leo, otherwise known as the African lion. The scientists expected them to be the ancestors of a new species entirely and claimed to have witnessed evolution in real time."
"Wow, you even know their scientific names," Andrew said.
"Yes, I've been obsessed for years now," Joe Rogan admitted with a smile, "For example, the Siberian tigers are a bigger subspecies of the Panthera tigris, normal tigers. So it's kind of like that case for them."
"Interesting," Andrew said.
"Yeah, it's pretty fucking interesting," Joe said.
"So is the rumour about him eventually killing rhinos and hippos true?" Andrew asked.
"Absolutely. One hundred per cent," Joe said.
"Do you think he can defeat an elephant?" Andrew asked.
"Well..." Joe took a long pause, "I want to say no... but the thing about Leo is that he is very intelligent. If early humans can kill mammoths using strategy and a bunch of sharp sticks, then I believe Leo could do the same."
"Really?"
"Yes. But that would never happen. The bull elephants and Leo kind of avoid each other, you know. Meanwhile, he has a very complicated yet good relationship with the female herds."
"Like the vultures?"
"Not exactly but..." Joe sighed and laughed, "I'm going to say too much."
"Come on, Joe!!"
"No, if I say too much, they wouldn't tell me stuff anymore. I don't want that," Joe said.
"Bummer," Andrew said while putting out his blunt finally. "Then is the thing about Mr Beast wanting to make a video about him real?"
"He has been trying for years now, but never got the green flag. Like I said, they are very secretive when it comes to him. He is special," Joe said.
"Speaking about him made me want to watch the episodes again," Andrew said.
"Well, we can watch clips. Hey Jamie! Can you pull up clips of the last episode real quick?"
"Anything would do. Thank you," Joe said and turned towards the big screen in the studio.
"Watch this. This is crazy," Joe said with a grin.
And so, the next good chunk of the podcast was spent discussing the topics of Leo...
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Author : Need names