> "Steam. Screams. Summon circles in the soap.
Yup… classic high school vacation."
— MC, not even surprised anymore
---
[Location: Secluded Hot Springs Inn – Somewhere in the Mountains, Probably Cursed]
Kuoh Academy's class trip had begun.
The students were promised:
Peaceful hot baths,
Cultural exploration,
And "zero supernatural incidents."
What they got:
Haunted mochi,
Magical steam whispers,
And Issei nearly summoning a bath demon using eucalyptus shampoo.
---
[Scene: Arrival – Instantly Suspicious Vibes]
The inn was charming… and deeply wrong.
Every hallway echoed twice.
The koi pond whispered your regrets.
And the sign-in log had names like:
"Guest: Slippery Shadow"
"Guest: Definitely Not A Ghost (Probably)"
"Guest: Cthulhu but Smaller"
Sona (squinting):
> "This location wasn't on the approved list."
Rias:
> "MC suggested it.
He said it had 'ambience and narrative tension.'"
Sona:
> "...We're going to die in matching yukatas, aren't we?"
---
[Scene: Bath Rotation Chaos]
MC timed his bath visits with the precision of a stealth assassin.
Whenever the girls were in the hot springs? He was gone.
Whenever Issei tried to peek? He accidentally tripped every single spiritual defense ward.
Koneko (flatly):
> "He moved through seven locked doors without making a sound."
Akeno (smiling):
> "It's almost romantic.
Like he's avoiding affection on purpose."
MC (in the rafters, sipping tea):
> "Romance is weakness.
Steam is camouflage."
---
[Scene: Issei Summons a Bath Demon]
Issei (holding a scroll he thought was a menu):
> "This says something about 'cleansing the soul through flames'—maybe it's the deluxe sauna ritual!"
He reads it aloud.
The shampoo turns into a swirling portal.
A massive red hand reaches out.
MC (sighing):
> "You summoned Sudorax, Demon of Steam-based Aggression."
Issei:
> "I JUST WANTED SOFTER HAIR!"
Saitama (from a chat screen):
> "Punch it?"
MC:
> "No. This one responds to passive-aggressive customer service complaints."
---
[Scene: The Sixth Bath Door]
Five bath entrances. All clearly marked.
But one… was sealed.
Rusty hinges. Chains. A small, ominous duck in front of it.
Rias (curious):
> "What's behind this door?"
MC (too quickly):
> "Nothing. Nothing worth opening."
Sona:
> "You hesitated. That's code for 'definitely world-ending.'"
MC:
> "It's just a gate to an abandoned side narrative from a failed light novel spinoff. Nothing major."
The duck blinked.
Then bit a passing ghost.
---
[Late Night: Full Panic Spa Edition]
The inn was now floating slightly off the ground.
The steam formed words like "ABANDON SHAMPOO"
The Sixth Door was rattling
Kiba was stuck in a sauna with a time loop
MC (gathering items):
One towel
One bar of anti-curse soap
And a rubber duck named Kevin
> "Time to reseal a subplot."
---
[Finale – MC's Solo Boss Bath Scene]
Inside the Sixth Door:
A bath of black water
A demon once known as "Bubbles the Undying"
And a scroll that read "This joke went too far"
MC (throwing Kevin into the water):
> "Cleanse this place with corporate-standard cleansing rituals."
Kevin glowed.
Steam screamed.
The subplot ended itself.
---
[System Notification]
> Trait Gained:
"Spa Slayer (Lv.1)" – You gain +15% resistance to hot water-based demonic events, cursed bath bombs, and surprise love confession traps.
---
[Final Scene – Morning After]
The inn was calm.
Mostly.
Issei was in a salt circle.
Sona and Rias were silently drinking tea with MC, who had already denied three breakfast invitations and rewritten the guest log to remove himself.
Akeno:
> "So... same time next year?"
MC (vanishing):
> "I was never here."
---
End of Chapter 45: The Curse of Relaxation