Chapter 0
It's My truth
"I almost cancelled this morning." The woman sitting in front of her glanced up.
"Why didn't you?" Yoon Yeorin asked, spinning the pen in her hand.
The woman laughed, too short. "Because I'm tired of pretending I'm not jealous of my own friends," she said. "Is that... pathetic?"
"It's not. It's human."
'It's human. Right?'
"I think I want what they have. Or at least... I think I want to 'want it'. The career. The perfect partner. The right bag for the right dinner party. But when I imagine living that life, it doesn't feel like me. It feels like a well-lit stage."
Yeorin nodded. "So what feels like you?"
"I don't know," the woman whispered. "That's the problem. I only know when I'm watching them. Wanting what they have makes me feel real. But it also makes me feel... smaller."
Envy. But not the ugly, screaming kind. The soft, chronic type. The one that leaves no bruises, only a quiet erosion.
"Most people come here hoping I'll tell them how to fix the desire. The anger, the craving, the jealousy. But the truth is, the goal isn't to erase it. It's to know it. Then you decide what it gets to do."
The woman blinked in confusion. "What it gets to do?"
"Yes."
Yeorin's voice didn't rise or fall—it just settled. "Whether it gets to run and ruin your life. Or sit quietly in the passenger seat while you drive."
"So you're saying I can't get rid of it."
"No," Yeorin said simply. "You can numb it. Medicate it. Shame it. Or run from it. But it'll still be there. Just quieter. Waiting."
"Sometimes I imagine myself as... this ugly version of myself. Bitter. Watching everyone be happy. And I hate that image. I hate her."
'Hate. Do I hate her?'
Yeorin's eyes stayed steady. "What does she want?"
The woman blinked. "What?"
"This 'ugly version' you imagine. What does she want that you keep telling her she can't have?"
"She wants... attention. To be chosen first. To walk into a room and not feel like everyone's already decided where she belongs. Or worse—doesn't belong."
"That version of you isn't ugly," she said. "She's just tired of being edited."
"I've worked so hard to not look like I care," she said. "But I do. I care too much. And it's exhausting."
"You care," Yeorin repeated. "That's not weakness. That's awareness. It means you're not frozen."
The woman gave a short breath of something between laughter and a sob. "You talk like it's simple."
"It's not," Yeorin said. "But it's yours."
'It's mine. That 'ugly version' is my truth.'