Chapter 2
"Memories are the hardest to forget, and they come back when least expected."
Why?
Why?
Katherine could hear her boss' voice chasing after her and his voice. The voice she thought she had forgotten.
Why? Why was he back? What did he want? Why was he here, of all places? She thought she had escaped the torment, but she was just deceiving herself. She ran again as she always ran away from everything while hot tears streamed down her face and mucus streamed from her nose.
Katherine banged the staffroom door behind her, slumping on the door as she put her face in her hands, clutching her head tightly while sobbing profusely.
Her heart was beating vigorously, and her nose was blocked from mucus. She felt her ribcage squeezing her heart hard, making her breathing come out in short pants. Her eyes were red from tears, her pupils dilating a little as her head pounded immensely. Her hands were trembling tremendously at the same time her stomach kept turning in pain, feeling nauseated.
Hiccups coming out of her mouth like her favorite words as she closed her eyes to stop herself from having panic attacks at her workplace. She couldn't faint here! What of her kids? She willed herself. the thought of her children giving her courage as she closed her eyes firmly, trying to find good memories and block everything out.
She kept tapping her right foot and counting to one hundred repeatedly, a coping mechanism her therapist suggested to her whenever she was feeling down. She didn't know how many minutes or hours she used in the closed room. After feeling herself calm, she rubbed her nose, feeling it tingle.
"Kathy, are you alright?" She heard her boss's soft, worried voice from the other side as she sniffed, nodding her head in response.
"Um—" she cleared the lump in her throat. "I'm okay," she replied, wiping her tear-stained cheeks. "I'm coming out now."
"No—no," her boss, Matthew, quickly spluttered out, "you can take as much time as you want." His voice was soft and comforting.
"Thank you, boss," she muttered. Her boss was very understanding.
"How are the guests?" she winced, remembering earlier as her unprofessional attitude. She let her personal matters disrupt her working time. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
"It's okay, Kathy," Mathew told her, "they have been assigned to a room, but—" he paused while she waited for him to continue his statement. She stood from the door, patting her skirt for any dust stain.
"If you are uncomfortable with our guests, we can reject or transfer them to another hotel," he spoke with conviction.
"But your—"
"I didn't hire you to be uncomfortable," he said, "and you are always my priority before this company," he whispered, but Katherine heard and felt another fresh tear rolling down her eyes. She felt relieved, sad, and guilty.
"Thank you, Matt," she let out in a faint voice.
She heard his deep chuckling from the other side of the door, "You can take the day off."
Her eyes widened in shock. "Can I?" She was speechless.
"Yeah, I know I'm charming," he lightened the mood, and her mouth twitched. "You can fall for me." She heard his retreating footsteps as she sighed, rubbing her temple.
Katherine gathered herself, smoothed her skirt and shirt before opening the door to see her handbag was on the ground. She picked it up and saw a small paper; she read the content and shook her head amusingly.
Matt was a good man.
Kathy went through the back door and took a cab home to rest for the day.
***
Katherine got home tiredly; she flung her handbag on the couch as she went to the upper cabinet, bringing out the carton inside and carrying it to her room.
She peeled off her cloth, leaving her naked and untied her hair, making her brown, wavy hair fall on her shoulder. She brushed her hand through her hair as she opened the carton, bringing out the beer in it.
She unscrewed the cap, taking a swig. She flinched, feeling the cool yet hot rush of the alcohol in her system. She had promised to stop drinking, but just for today, she needed it to make her forget. After finishing a can, she felt herself energized; she stood wobbly, going to her desk.
She fell on the chair, moving her hair to one side before opening her laptop and starting to type furiously while taking a slug of her beer. The sound of her alarm pulled her from typing for hours to escape from reality; her eyes were bloodshot, and suddenly she released an angry shrill sound. Two hours remained until her children would come back from school.
Katherine scrambled from the chair, uncaring; the chair fell with a loud thud as she walked to the bathroom to shower before her children arrived. She wouldn't let them meet her as a bad mother. She stopped in the mirror, looking at herself, and she felt disgusted with what she saw.
She saw a weak, naive, and cowardly girl staring back at her, mocking her.
"I'm not her anymore. I can't be her again." she mumbled.
"Argh!" she screamed again, running her hands through her hair as she tugged her hair tightly, wanting to remove it. She opened the drawer, taking a scissor there as she put it in her hair, cutting her hair.
She was feeling void in her heart; she wanted to vent, and she was lost and confused. He came back after so many months, and he was still as handsome as before—she slapped herself hard to stop herself from remembering those eyes.
Stop fucking thinking about him, you asshat! She screamed at herself as she slapped herself continuously. Her cheeks and hands were red, and they stung, yet she wanted the pain to wake her up.
Katherine unbound the cloth, using it to cover the mirror. After taking a long bath, she opened the windows and cleaned the room for any traces of her mental breakdown as she went downstairs to meet her children.
"Mommy!" The happy voice of her children immediately lifted her mood and made her smile, looking at her little joy.
Katherine opened her arms, hugged them tightly, comforting herself. She must hide her babies from him, or else—she shook her head from her thoughts to focus on the warmth from her children.
She would protect and hide her children with everything she had.