Ren woke up to the sound of sirens.
Sirens that didn't exist in this world — but they were screaming inside his head, loud and relentless.
He opened his eyes and found Istar's face... stuck to his. Literally.
She was licking his cheek in her sleep, like sipping from a warm cup.
"Good morning... slime edition," he mumbled, gently pushing her off.
"Mmm, you taste nice when you sleep," she murmured sleepily, clinging tighter.
"...Is that a legal statement?"
Before she could answer, the ground shook violently. The walls screamed, and the ceiling coughed out some dust.
"Earthquake?" Ren asked.
"No... something bigger," Istar muttered as she stood barefoot, sensing a thick energy crawling from beneath the ground.
Ren got up lazily, threw on his cloak without tying it, and stretched.
"No rush... let's have tea first."
But the city disagreed — a roar split the sky.
A roar so powerful it froze pigeons mid-flight.
"Dragon?" Ren asked as he opened the window.
"Bigger," said Istar.
In the sky, a creature resembling a dragon slithered through the clouds.
But it had no wings — only dozens of shadowy tendrils and a single massive eye blinking in all directions from its chest.
"A Celestial Shadow Dragon," Istar whispered, pulling her robe tight. "A rare creature. It only descends if it smells holy blood."
"Oh great. Is it... our fault?"
"Maybe... a little... I might've bathed with the gem."
"How many times?"
"Only three!"
Ren sighed. "If I die today, I want a grave with a pillow. And air conditioning."
---
The city square overflowed with panic.
Mages gathered, warriors sharpened their swords, nobles screamed at each other — as usual, completely useless.
Ren sat on a crate, watching. Istar beside him, brushing her tail.
"Should we help?" he asked.
"If you want, but they'll probably yell at us later for not following 'royal protocol.'"
"Hmmm… what if we save the city and they fine us?"
"Like that village last time?"
"…Right. We wait."
Then the dragon roared and fired a beam of darkness that sliced a watchtower in half, leaving a crack in the sky itself.
"Lovely. It started." Ren stood up, stretching like he was heading to bed — not war.
---
In a blink, Istar leapt into the sky. Her demonic wings flickered briefly before vanishing.
She appeared behind the dragon, kicked it once, and sent it flying into the clouds.
"Warm it up. I'll join you after tea," Ren called as he pulled a teacup from his tiny bag.
But the dragon wasn't alone.
The air tore apart again — two new entities emerged.
One looked like a giant flaming ape.
The other... looked like Ren.
"Oh look, me! With better hair," he said.
Istar screamed, "Shadow Reflection! It copied your image from your mind!"
"That's its mistake. My mind's a disaster."
---
As the battle raged above, Ren moved slowly, as always.
But when his hand touched the ground, a surge of blue energy exploded beneath his feet.
He jumped into the air, passed by his fake double, and slapped it so hard its face shattered like glass.
"I don't fight," he said calmly. "I just can't stand messed-up versions of myself."
Istar laughed.
The Shadow Dragon roared, opening its mouth wide — trying to swallow the city whole.
"So annoying," Ren said, raising a single finger.
A line of light descended from the heavens, striking the creature — splitting it in half.
Silence.
The city fell into sacred stillness.
Then… applause.
---
That evening, Ren sat on the inn's balcony, sipping tea, while Istar slept on his lap.
"We saved the city… should we leave before they ask us to clean the streets?"
"Yeah… let's go before they wake up from the shock."
"Where to?"
"There's a forest… they say it breathes… and eats adventurers."
"Nice. Hope it has a place to nap."