It was Finale Day.
The air inside the Ruff Reno warehouse was thick with sawdust, caffeine, and the scent of raw ambition. The crowd was buzzing. Cameras were rolling. One overly excited chihuahua in the front row had already fainted from anticipation (and mild dehydration).
Sheila, the golden retriever producer, howled into the megaphone.
"Ten hours to showtime! Designers — build like your lives depend on it!"
Travis, wearing a Buttermilk-logo bandana and pacing like a sleep-deprived stage mom, turned to Carlton.
"We've got:
Five hours of sleep between us,
Three semi-functional nail guns,
And one emotional support ferret loose in the insulation wall.
We're gonna make TV history."
Carlton high-fived him with a gloved hand. "Let's make this doghouse so beautiful it makes dogs cry. Quietly. With dignity."
---
The Final Build
Buttermilk led the charge.
Her design? "Tranquil Treat Retreat."
Features included:
Climate-controlled cuddle den
Aromatherapy vents that smelled like bacon and daisies
Paw-operated snack drawer
Zen water wall with color-changing LED fish (Carlton wired it himself; it only shocked him three times)
A reading nook. For dogs who couldn't read, but liked the idea of it
Meanwhile, Brick Beefcake was screaming at drywall.
His final build? "The Alpha Pup Power Palace."
Squat rack made from antlers
Protein shake blender attached to a treadmill
Portrait of himself painted in glitter glue, flexing
Hot tub with neon lights that spelled "Bark Harder"
"WHO NEEDS MINDFULNESS WHEN YOU HAVE QUADS?" he yelled into the void.
---
One Hour to Showtime
The lights dimmed.
The audience filled in.
A mariachi band of dachshunds began warming up.
The rescue pup judge — a senior mutt named Grandpa Beans — was wheeled in wearing a tiny crown and orthopedic booties.
Travis whispered, "He's the final vote. We win over Beans, we win it all."
Buttermilk adjusted her hardhat and nodded solemnly.
Then Brick, from across the room, locked eyes with her… and smirked.
He was hiding something.
---
Sabotage 2.0
Carlton spotted it first — a glitter cannon with an auto-trigger set to Buttermilk's finale music cue. If it exploded on cue, it would ruin her calm, spa-like vibe and turn the Zen retreat into a glitter rave.
"Unacceptable," Carlton muttered.
He sprinted, dove behind a planter, and disarmed the cannon using a spoon, duct tape, and a peanut butter chew.
Buttermilk licked his face once in gratitude. It was deeply unsettling. Carlton cried quietly.
---
First Up: Brick.
Music blared. Lights strobed. Brick did a bench press with a Labrador on his back.
The house looked like a gym had exploded inside a Monster Energy can.
The crowd… was confused.
Chef Gouda sniffed a dumbbell and fell asleep on a yoga mat.
Lady Marzipan muttered, "It's like a frat party for wolves."
Then: Buttermilk.
Soft piano music. Warm lighting.
She padded through a cloud of calming mist and pressed a paw on the entry panel.
The Zen wall flowed. The snack drawer popped open.
A digital fireplace displayed a loop of crackling logs and affirmations like "You are pawsome."
The crowd gasped.
Lady Marzipan shed a single tear.
Chef Gouda rolled over and whispered, "I feel… emotionally safe."
---
Grandpa Beans was wheeled to the center.
He took a long, slow lap around each house. He sniffed the air. Licked a floor tile. Stared into Brick's protein jacuzzi with visible concern.
Then — in the final moment — he waddled over to Buttermilk's Zen couch, climbed on…
...and peed.
A long, noble stream. A sign of true doggy approval.
The crowd erupted. Confetti burst. The mariachi dachshunds played "Eye of the Tiger."
Buttermilk had won.
---
Travis hugged Carlton. Carlton hugged a potted plant. Buttermilk stood proud, wearing her new Golden Bone Wrench like a queen.
Brick tried to protest — until Sheila informed him his new reality show would be "Pupstacle Course: Brick's Redemption Tour." He cried into a protein bar.
---
Later That Night
Back at home, Buttermilk curled up with her trophy.
Carlton was making tofu nachos. Travis was updating her Instagram with a caption:
> "From barking to building — Buttermilk is officially the world's first canine Barkitect!"
The post got 3.7 million likes in two hours.
Netflix called. Again.
Buttermilk yawned. Stretched. And dreamed of her next big adventure.
---