"I just severed the karmic cycle of this world. I have freed the humankind from their suffering, pain, and futility."
Madara said with unfathomable conviction. Standing on the ground of a new world, a peaceful world. He was facing the last four nuisances of his life. Kakashi, Formerly of the Sharingan. Sakura, apprentice of Tsunade. Sasuke, the "last" Uchiha, and...
"But all of this, It's all just a LIE!"
"Right now you are the one interfering with everyone's happiness, Naruto."
"huh..?"
"Look, all the fighting amongst shinobi has come to an end now. I've transformed hell into heaven. I've finally corrected Hashirama's mistake." Madara said these words as if tasting, savoring every last one of them as if it was the greatest meal he's ever had. Now that the Infinite Tsukuyomi has been successfully activated, he won the debate that started with the first Hokage decades ago.
"Wha... What are you talking about? Whaddia mean his mistake?" Sakura inquired.
Kakashi grasped the basic concept, but would also like to hear him elaborate.
Sasuke was thinking a thousand things at the same time, trying to figure out a way to seal Madara away. If he brought Madara to them, using his Rinnegan ability, Sakura was standing close to him, but not that close, and Naruto stood on the other side of him. They wouldn't be fast enough to touch him.
Maybe if he transported Sakura behind Madara, Kakashi would deal with Black Zetsu, and if Sakura managed to punch him across the ground to them... He almost laughed out loud at the idea. No time for that now.
He looked at his only friend, hoping that maybe he had a plan. He looked as angry as he had ever seen. But he looked kind of... odd. 'So that's your plan, huh?'
He quickly realized what was going on, but used all of his training and willpower to not make any of his nerves twitch. It was worth a shot since he couldn't come up with anything more than laughable. He cursed himself for that, but now he had to keep his mind clear and body ready.
"You Hidden Leaf shinobi may not want to admit it, but Hashirama ultimately failed. He didn't reform the shinobi world." Sakura had a minuscule gasp, then an even smaller growl. Kakashi was looking at him with narrowed, skeptical eyes. Sasuke and Naruto didn't show any reaction.
"In the beginning, both Hashirama and I had the same ambitions. And we worked together to try to achieve them. we tried to change the shinobi world. The abominable system that sent barely grown children out to fight in wars." Even now, after becoming the strongest being in the universe, he still enjoyed how his opponents reacted to his every spoken word.
"The two of us founded the first shinobi village. But even that didn't result in true peace. People simply aren't able to show each other their true feelings. Fear, suspicion, resentment, they never subside." He paused again, looking down at the ground, smirking, almost proudly, in what seemed like nostalgia, for the old days maybe? Sasuke couldn't tell for sure.
Kakashi managed to narrow Madara's expression to excitement.
"My opinions and concerns were pushed aside, and the shinobi world moved forward in accordance with Hashirama's vision." This time he paused longer than he did before.
"And what happened because of it? Well, the fighting among shinobi hasn't stopped. Instead, establishing ninja villages led to an increase in military build-up, resulting in skirmishes that turned into great wars, with countless lives lost."
'He's telling the truth so far.' Kakashi thought. Sakura and Sasuke had many different images of their past battles flashing in front of their eyes. Naruto stood still.
"There was the first great ninja war." He said a bit louder, "The second great ninja war." This was even louder, "The third great ninja war." Now his words were commanding, reaching the line of a shout.
"THE FIGHTING NEVER STOPPED. That's the shinobi world Hashirama created!" He spat First's name as if it was the vilest thing he had ever said. "I will admit, I was the one responsible for triggering this fourth great ninja war."
"That's right, because of you so many died." Sakura accused.
"I also proposed that the tailed beasts be handed over peacefully," Madara responded calmly, leaving no room for counterarguments.
"Now everyone's inside the divine tree. All dreaming idyllic dreams. And all of them are enjoying their ideal worlds." While he said this, Black Zetsu stepped closer to Madara.
Sasuke saw that and narrowed his eyes. Naruto was taking his sweet time giving life to his plan.
"This is your idea of a perfect world? You are way off. You're only deceiving people." Sasuke countered.
"All that I am seeking to do is to become the savior that ends the long history of fighting amongst shinobi." Madara countered, not even a little irritated at his words.
Sasuke heard his words and got even more tense as he saw Black Zetsu approaching Madara. He was standing one hand length away. 'Now is the chance Naruto'
"It's time you woke up. It's all over." Madara said, his every word showing glimpses of fulfillment and sadness.
Just as Madara finished, he felt movement. The ground right in front of him cracked a little bit, then opened even more, and from the hole erupted the blob of yellow hair, followed by a hand, a hand holding a black pipe. He was aiming straight between Madara's throat and chin.
Kakashi and Sakura were looking at it and barely registered what was happening, their mouths in freefall.
The sharp end of the black pipe barely touched Madara's skin, when he grabbed it and stopped all of Naruto's momentum with his sheer might. He smiled and looked down at the shocked blonde.
"Using a shadow clone to keep me at ease, while you dug a tunnel across the battlefield?! That orange pigment on your eyes and the fact that I almost confused your chakra for Nature energy, tells me that you didn't use Nine Tails' chakra to do it. Or any type of ninjutsu, for that matter." Madara said with a grin.
"I admit, that could've worked on most other ninjas. Unfortunately for you, I am not most other ninja." He added.
Grabbing his chest with his free hand and grinning even more widely than Madara did, Naruto shouted "Oh yeah? Let's see!"
From the hole below they heard a shout: "Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!" And then "Harem Jutsu!"
Around Madara and Black Zetsu, two dozen naked women poofed into existence. Every girl was 'talented' in a different sort of way. Naruto himself turned into the most magnificent version of Naruko.
Madara stood still.
'Sexy-type jutsus tend to work better the stronger the opponent, ya know!' Naruto thought while looking at Madara's now stupefied face.
Kakashi, Sasuke, and even Black Zetsu had lines of blood coming from their noses.
'That idiot! Using a jutsu like that in this situation?! How do you expect it to work on such an inhuman being?!' Sakura screamed in her head while trying to keep her blush and jealousy in check.
"NOW!" Naruto screamed as loudly as possible.
It took less than a blink of an eye for Sasuke to point his left palm forward, and transport himself right behind Madara. Black Zetsu ended up standing where he stood just a moment ago.
With Naruto already touching him and now transforming back into his normal self, Sasuke's palm touched Madara faster than he could react.
"NOOOO!" Black Zetsu screamed, dashing forward to stop the dual attack.
"Water Style: Water Prison," Kakashi said as he managed to imprison the being that was stuck on the left side of his friend's body, in a sphere-shaped water. "You are not going anywhere!"
"Did it work?" Sakura asked, standing in a fighting stance, ready to help out as soon as necessary.
All of Naruto's sexy clones disappeared. He was still holding Madara's chest with his right hand, while Sasuke held his with his left hand. The Sun and the moon came together.
The disappearance of the last Naruto woman forced Madara to regain his mind. He looked straight at Naruto, reading shock in his eyes. He got curious. He then looked behind his back and saw Uchiha standing there, with an equally shocked face.
Now was the time to panic.
They managed to touch Madara, with their proper hands, but there was nothing. Madara didn't even flinch. 'But the Super Gramps sage said this would seal him away!'
'why isn't this working' Sasuke shared his friends' thoughts.
Madara looked forward again, looking at the frog-like eyes of the blond. 'They had some sort of plan, and it didn't work...'
Then all at once earth shook with the scream of Madara Uchiha.
It continued for ten... twenty... thirty seconds... His voice echoed all around them, possibly reaching the edges of the battlefield, If not farther than that. The shockwave made by his voice was devastating. Sasuke and Naruto were holding on for dear life.
Sakura was afraid, more than ever, while she kept herself standing beside Kakashi. Both were more shocked than confused with what was going on. Neither could piece words together to say anything.
Black Zetsu was cursing everything he could under his breath.
It took a full minute for the agonizing screaming of Madara to stop. And it stopped suddenly as if the sound was cut off from his lungs.
What followed was the most wholehearted laugh anyone has ever heard. The laugh was much louder than the scream that preceded it. 'What is going on?!' Was the question in everyone's mind before they got a closer look at the one who was screaming just a moment ago.
"Hehe... So" Madara began after finishing his laugh. "How long are you going to keep holding me? Do you want a hug?" he asked while wiping a tear from his right eye.
"I just couldn't help myself. You should've seen your faces. In fact..." he made a bird sign with his hands, almost touching Naruto's face, which was quite close to his head.
Moon started to glow red. Naruto stepped back with a shocked face, If this was the repetition of the Infinite Tsukuyomi, then they were done... but instead of red Rinnegan, the moon started showing his face.
Naruto had a ridiculous look. Kakashi and Sakura looked no better. And even the stoic Sasuke had a face that clearly showed more emotion than he had experienced in the past month. Their faces on the moon weren't much different from the faces they currently held. But, every moment shown on the moon was from a different place, how could this...
"I know what you are wondering. Don't forget my limbo clones. They can see everything. Recording you was not a big deal at all." Madara explained with a huge grin on his face. "Now, I would like to hear an explanation of what you, little brats, were trying to achieve with such a pitiful mov-"
Sasuke pulled his hand back from Madara and quickly ignited it with lightning. He swung his hand, aiming for his head. Madara didn't even look at the sudden flash of light as he grabbed Sasuke's hand and threw him forward. Sasuke flew over startled Naruto and after rolling a few times fell face first on the ground at Sakura's feet, who quickly knelt making sure he was okay.
Watching his best friend so casually thrown behind him was the last straw. Naruto fell on his butt, staring up at the menacing man standing in front of him.
Madara looked down at him, still smiling. "Would you like me to repeat my question?"
"That was supposed to work..." Naruto finally spoke.
"That, I understand. What I want to know is, what was it supposed to do?"
"I... I don't know. After we both touched you at the same time, it should've been over for you."
"Clearly that is not the case. I am still standing. You didn't even damage me in any way." Madara finished, patting his chest, sides, and back as if trying to make sure what he said was correct. "I wonder... what will you do now? Are you going to continue trying to stop the savior of this world? Or are you finally going to think for once in your terrible life and give up trying to stop the inevitable? Why stop the ultimate, eternal happiness for yourself?!"
"We will NEVER stop tryi..." Sakura screamed from right beside Sasuke. Her scream made Sasuke flinch, while Kakashi looked on with determination. She didn't get to finish her sentence because she was interrupted.
"This is how it ends then?" Naruto exclaimed. "You'll make us part of the Infinite Tsukuyomi now? We just go to sleep and live a lie? Is that it?"
For Sakura, His words carried the same tone that he once used against her in the land of Iron. Heartbreak could be felt in every word.
For Kakashi, His words carried the same tone he used when trying to calm himself down right after Kakashi admitted knowing about his father but kept it from him. Anger and sadness radiated from those words.
And for Sasuke, his words carried the same tone which he had only once encountered, back in the valley of the end all those years ago. Despair.
"Or do you still have a shred of honor, just enough to give us a choice between an eternal lie, and death?" Naruto finished with a tone that none of the team seven had ever heard before.
"The infinite Tsukuyomi is not a lie. It's the beginning of a new world. A world without any of the drawbacks of this one. A world free of suffering." Knowing that there was nothing to worry about, Madara was willing to try and convince the young brat who reminded him of his once dear friend.
"It is a GENJUTSU! If I learned anything in the academy it's that Genjutsu means an 'illusionary technique' which I am pretty sure means something that is not true, or, and get this, you can call it a lie!" Naruto said as he stood back up and cleaned the dust from his pants.
"Technically you are not wrong, But you have to realize, whether this is fake or real, that does not matter to them. What they feel is complete happiness. No doubts, no worries, no pain, no death. Wouldn't you like to live in a world like that?" Madara asked with excitement.
"No, thank you. I'd rather die." Naruto replied with a sad expression.
Now this, this was not something Madara expected. How could anyone refuse a life free of suffering? 'He isn't that stupid, is he?' He would not rule out that possibility. "You prefer to die now than to live a life of eternal happiness?"
"Live? What would life be without suffering? We don't live to be happy. That is what we want, sure, but that is not why we are here. Emotions are just one part of being human. What about choice? The will to seek what's good for others? The will to love?!" Naruto explained, tears filling up his eyes, but his voice steady.
"Love is for children. Tell me, is that not a fake feeling too? How can you call Tsukuyiomi a lie and act as if love is something that does not happen because of artificial chemical reactions inside one's body? You don't choose to love someone, do you? Tha..."
"Of course you do!" Naruto exclaimed. Madara was cut off and had a confused face. "Love is... seeking what's good for others. You can't do what's good for someone without choosing to do so. Get it?" Madara stayed silent. "Life without love is not worth anything. Love doesn't exist without choice. And if there is a choice to be had people can choose to do good or bad. Taking that away is the same as taking my humanity away..." Naruto slowly started to weep, realizing what he was about to say.
"At least when I die I'll continue to live... and finally reunite with my mom and dad..."
As he said that last word, he seemed to zone out for a few seconds. Madara looked on with curiosity, he took this time and thought about what Naruto just said. Once he seemed to come back to consciousness, Naruto looked at him. His pupils lost the orange pigment, and his eyes returned to their normal blue.
"I will reunite with them, right Kakashi sensei?" He said this as he looked back to the man who was still holding down black Zetsu. He saw what he expected to see. Shocked faces. No, shocked was not a good word to describe it, they looked dumbfounded. Sakura, Kakashi, and even Sasuke were looking at Naruto with eyes that waited for the joke to end, but it didn't.
After a few seconds, Kakashi finally gained enough willpower to slowly nod at his student. Neither he nor anyone else had seen Naruto act like this. There was no such thing as Naruto giving up. That could only mean one thing, 'he has a plan'. So, he will do everything to help him. Even if he didn't know what, he knew that Naruto would never give up.
Turning back to Madara, Naruto said "See? I prefer to die in truth, rather than live a lie."
"Why would you ask something like that to your sensei? How would he know?" Madara inquired.
"huh? Oh, right, Kakashi-sensei was killed when Pain attacked the Hidden Leaf And then Nagato revived him along with many others. Many of them saw what happens after you die. Kakashi sensei's nod confirmed my thoughts. That's all." Naruto explained while thinking of the time he inquired about it on their way to intercept the Raikage.
Madara narrowed his eyes. He knew about the Pain's attack on the hidden leaf, and his subsequent betrayal, but this was news to him. Now that he thought about it, there was indeed an afterlife. He never went beyond the darkness that awaited everybody who died, since he was certain Obito would bring him back. Now he wondered what lay behind the veil of darkness. But that didn't matter, not when he achieved his goal. He can not back down now.
"So you have chosen death, is that it?" Madara asked after finishing his musings.
Naruto looked back at his team, their faces were filled with many new emotions, but mostly confusion. Then Naruto looked at black Zetsu. That guy rubbed him the wrong way. He looked like he wanted to go to the bathroom. As he continued to look at the black goo, he narrowed his eyes.
Black Zetsu looked at the blond with hate. 'I must get out of here and finish my mission quickly, or the Jutsu will start to weaken! And if Madara starts to suspect something...'
"I do have one request." Naruto said as he turned back to the 'savior of the world'.
Madara looked at him with suspicion. He couldn't think of a way the blonde might be trying to stop him. He nodded at him to let him know he was listening. 'What could he possibly request?'
"Could I request for you to stop the infinite Tsukuyomi?" He asked with a sheepish smile.
"No." Madara answered.
"Thought so, but I had to try, ya know?" Madara nodded at him with an almost proud grin. "Then before you kill me, I want to ask you something... And I want to eat my favorite food for the last time."
"Those are two requests," Madara replied with narrowed eyes.
"Well, you know... it's one, give or take one..." Seeing Madara's suspicious look, Naruto sighed deeply. "Alright, I want to ask you a question, that is the request. But I also want to eat my favorite food one last time, so I offer you a... truce, just for a few hours. We can eat together. What do you say?"
"Ask the question first. I'll answer, and then you can have your ramen." Madara used a sizeable chunk of his willpower to not swallow salvia at the mention of ramen. He was not the greatest fan of the food, but any food sounded amazing when you hadn't eaten anything for almost two decades. But, he couldn't show that to them. He also had to keep control of the situation.
"That's not going to work. It's a big question and more importantly, I have to tell you a few things before I get to it. Iruka sensei tried to teach me what it was called back in the academy... but I forgot."
"Elaborate." Madara requested.
With a heavy sigh he did exactly that "It's like you ask a few questions, one after another, and use the answers to formulate the next questions before you... err... get to your point."
"Do you mean Socra Tici's Method?" Madara inquired.
"As I said, I don't remember what it's called. That could be it though, whose to say." He finished with a smile. "So, a big bowl of ramen, any kind... no, EVERY kind! And a good story or three! What do you say? We can call this... the Last meal... No that doesn't roll off the tongue... We can call it the Last Supper?" He nodded as he finished speaking as if confirming how good of a name he came up with.
Madara used a special jutsu to adjust his body and stop the coming growl of his stomach. He could not see many problems with Naruto's offer. A feast of sorts before he finished dealing with them? Maybe a little battle afterward, before they get to die... That sounded too good to be so simple.
"What are you planning Naruto? Hmm? Am I supposed to just trust you won't try to do anything?"
"Well, if you can think of a way for us to stop you, I would gladly hear it." Naruto said with a goofy smile. "and as for the trust issues, I am not that stupid to think you'll drop your guard down, just because of a truce. I don't think you would drop your guard if we were friends. And even if you do, what are we supposed to do? Beat you to death? I don't think that would work. Would it?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No." Madara couldn't argue with his reasoning, And his belly kept reminding him of his offer.
"Well then, as a sign of trust, I could only think of this." Naruto outstretched his arm to his left.
Neither Sakura nor Kakashi could see anything. But, Sasuke saw and he didn't like what he saw.
"What is he talking about?" Sakura asked in confusion.
"He released Madara's limbo clone," Sasuke answered, shocking all of them, Black Zetsu included but he didn't show it.
"That IDIOT! What is he planning to do? He can't be giving him more power and expect us to defeat him!"
"Sakura calm down! We don't know what he has in mind, but if you don't have any plans, then Naruto is the only one trying something." Kakashi ordered as he glanced forward at Madara and Naruto. "We have to have faith."
Sasuke scoffed at that but then cursed himself because as much as he tried to deny it, Kakashi was telling the truth.
Kakashi's words reached Sakura and she seemed to calm down. His words also reached Madara. Who listened intently to their conversation.
"I want to hear your question. But in return, you have to tell me how did you two manage to get new powers after I killed you both." Madara started, saw Naruto's eager nod, and continued "Fine then. I will accept your offer. I won't refuse ramen either. But remember, you try anything and you will not get your death, but eternal life in a lie, just like you said" Madara regretted his last words as soon as he finished speaking. 'I am threatening him with eternal happiness?' that didn't sound right to him.
"Alright! Time for some ramen!" Naruto shouted pumping both fists into the air. He put his hands into his pouch and took out a scroll. After pumping chakra into it and setting It on the ground, his face turned from happy to disappointed. There was only one ramen cup left. He berated himself, how could he forget to bring more ramen when going to a WAR? Oh wait, that's because he didn't know if there was one, and he ate almost everything with Killer Bee back on that turtle island.
"You don't suppose we can share that, do you?" Madara questioned the blonde and his antics. He tried to sound as if he was laughing at him, but at this point, if Naruto offered to share the damned ramen, he would accept it. Hashirama's cells combined with the chakra from the god tree would sustain him for all eternity. That, however, didn't mean that he was not hungry.
"Normally I would not have a problem with sharing, but if we are to have a feast, why not do it with some style? I know where we could get more!" Naruto explained.
"And Where would that be?" Madara asked with questioning eyes. he looked back at the blond and smiled as he realized what he had in mind.
"Why Konoha of course." Naruto said and then saw the look of slight confusion on Madara's face "Ugh... the Hidden Leaf." Now Madara smiled.
"I came up with that name and I prefer you say it properly." Naruto frowned at that and grumbled something about old people and their traditions. "What do you propose we do then? Do you want us to stroll some few hundred kilometers that way?" Madara inquired while crossing his hands on his chest.
Naruto's eyes had stars in them as he said "If only we could get someone who can teleport there and come back in an instant..."
"You really want me to let you send Tobirama back to the Hidden Leaf?" Madara questioned "Are you hoping you could find a way to stop me while he's there? Hmm?"
"Actually, I wanted to send Dad there, but Old Man Second could do that too, they are both awesome." As Naruto said that, Madara got visibly irritated. "Plus they could already go there, they don't need your permission." Naruto saw the smallest hint of shock on Madara's face and knew he had something there. "And they probably already tried to think of every way that could stop you, before they even got to the battlefield."
"Fine then. Let's go find the Yellow Flash." Madara said as he cracked his neck and started walking towards Naruto.
"No need for that." Naruto said as he pointed towards the stump of the god tree.
Madara looked at where he was pointing and saw four men standing there. They even stood in order of their ascension to the Hokage title. 'how amusing.'
"So, the last supper, eh?" Madara asked with a smirk.
***
The blood-freezing scream coming from the epicenter of the fight was enough to startle any untrained human. But a heartfelt laugh that came after the scream made Naruto's clone even more confused than before.
He was guarding the limbo clone of one Madara Uchiha, using the truth-seeking orbs which were transformed into black rods. More than once he almost decided to go there and see if he could help in any way, But every time his rational side won out and decided to stay and keep an eye on the clone.
Now he was wondering what others were doing, where were other Hokages, and where was his dad. This is when his thoughts were broken by a non-physical nudge on his head.
"Hey, brat! Listen up." Naruto was now transported to a different place, sewage with a giant door, and the voice belonged to a big fox.
"Oi! Kurama! What's going on over there, what was that scream and laugh all about, did we win?"
"Stop asking useless questions. Original asked me to give you an order." Naruto's clone nodded so he continued "First, you have to release the limbo clone-"
"What are you talking about, it took both me and Sasuke just to keep him in place, and now he wants me to release him?" the clone asked with more than a bit of irritation. But Kurama just rolled his eyes.
"You'll find answers when you disappear. After releasing the limbo clone-" He stopped for a second just to make sure Naruto wouldn't interrupt him again when no such sign was found, he continued "Then you will find other Hokages and tell them to go towards the trunk of the God tree. is that clear?"
Clone looked very thoughtful for a few seconds, then his face shifted to intrigue, and then to a face, he made when he was about to prank the whole village. He then looked back up at the giant fox and nodded with excitement. Kurama nodded back and Naruto's clone was back to the real world, right beside the limbo clone.
He looked in the general direction of the limbo clone, since he could not see him, he could only sense him. After trying to make sure he was looking at the limbo's eyes he spoke.
"I am going to release you now and you will return to your original, he's beside the God tree." The limbo clone didn't do anything, so Naruto said "Shake one of those rods if you understood what I said and you won't attack as soon as you are free."
It took more than ten seconds but eventually, the floating rod started shaking, which Naruto saw as confirmation, and quickly took them out of the ground. He sensed the limbo clone slowly going towards the God tree, or what was left of it.
'Now to find the fellow Hokage' he thought to himself and used his sage training to sense everything all around him. He quickly saw Original and Madara standing in front of each other and seemingly talking, while the rest of the team 7 stood just behind him.
He focused on singular moving objects and quickly found one of them. With his six path's sage mode, it took him less than a minute to reach him. The silver-haired man was walking towards the source of the scream-laugh he thought.
"Old man Second, you have to help me find the rest of the Hokages!"
Tobirama looked at him with thoughtful eyes. "Do you have a plan?"
"Well... not me, I'm just a shadow clone, but the boss has a plan for sure! Can you find the others?"
"I can. Follow me." They started sprinting toward the other Hokages. "What sort of plan do you have?"
Naruto looked at him with a hesitant smile. "I don't know what his plan is."
"You are a shadow clone, how can you not know?!" Tobirama said with confusion.
"I was created well before he came up with it, so I don't know."
"And he used the nine-tails to send the information to you?" Naruto nodded while being shocked by the Second's deduction abilities. That seemed to satisfy Tobirama.
"Err... Old man second..?"
The elder Hokage looked at him and saw fear on the boy's face. "What is it?"
"You know how Old Man died, right?" Naruto asked with pleading eyes which confused the silver-haired man. He nodded and spoke.
"He used the reaper death seal to seal Me and the elder brother." Seeing how Naruto was looking at him as if waiting for him to elaborate, he did exactly that "That jutsu gives you the power to take your enemy's soul, but as a price, your soul must also be taken by the Shinigami. All the souls will be forced into his belly, and they will never get to the afterlife."
"I see," Naruto said while looking at the ground with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Do you know how to do it?"
"I Created that jutsu!" He said while fuming.
"Is that a yes?" Naruto said with the widest grin he could muster.
Tobirama decided not to reply.
It took them a few minutes to reach the Third Hokage, but just before they were able to see him, Naruto once again spoke. Tobirama saw this and was prepared for another of his dumb question, but instead, he got something entirely different.
"Can you teach it to me?"