The air smelled like poisoned roses, frostbitten promises, and the acrid tang of a man realizing he'd walked into a trap.
Luo Feng found himself cornered in the ruined gardens, back against a shattered moon pillar, with:
The Death Queen perched on a crumbling arch, her dagger tracing lazy circles in the air—each rotation leaving behind neon-green "marriage or death" runes that hung like glowing nooses.
Li Qing's frost aura creeping across the ground in intricate kill-patterns, her silence louder than any ultimatum.
[System Alert: Lethal Romantic Crossfire Detected]
[Recommended Action: Divine Intervention (Please)]
[Alternative Suggestion: Play Dead]
The Nine-Tails Goddess watched from a nearby roof, eating popcorn made from crystallized schadenfreude.
The Ultimatum
The Death Queen's smile could have curdled time itself.
"Darling," she purred, "let's settle this. Her..." A blade-point gestured at Li Qing. "...or me?"
Li Qing didn't speak.
She didn't need to.
The temperature dropped precisely 33 degrees—the exact number of times Luo Feng had "accidentally" walked in on her bathing.
The Dodging Maneuver
Luo Feng's eyes darted between:
The dagger (dripping neurotoxin)
The frost (forming spike traps under his boots)
The System interface (blinking the helpful warning: ABORT ABORT ABORT)
Then—inspiration struck.
He gasped dramatically, clutching his chest.
"System emergency! Critical mission update!"
A hastily fabricated alert blared:
[URGENT: DEMON KING TODDLER CRISIS]
[REQUIRES IMMEDIATE HUG INTERVENTION]
[PENALTY FOR NON-COMPLIANCE: LOSS OF COOKIE PRIVILEGES]
The Death Queen's dagger paused mid-swing. "...What."
Li Qing's frost stuttered—just enough for Luo Feng to dive-roll through the gap, snagging a distraction grenade (courtesy of the plush demon black market) and hurling it skyward.
The explosion rained down:
Glitter (pink)
Confetti (shaped like tiny skulls)
Handwritten notes ("Sorry! -LF")
The Aftermath
When the sparkles cleared:
The Death Queen stood amidst the debris, plucking a glitter-covered divorce petition from her hair. "Oh darling, you'll pay for that."
Li Qing had already frozen the escape route, her expression promising slow hypothermia.
The Nine-Tails Goddess cackled, tossing aside her popcorn. "I give it three days before they maim you."
[System Notification: ULTIMATUM SUCCESSFULLY DEFERRED]
[New Mission: "SURVIVE THE NEXT 24 HOURS"]
[Reward: TEMPORARY SANITY]
Luo Feng sprinted into the sunset, the distinct sound of two very angry women giving chase echoing behind him.
The plush demons began selling "I Survived the Harem Wars" commemorative shirts.
END OF CHAPTER 55