WebNovels

Chapter 173 - Chatterbox

Originally, Blaine thought that when he came to West Virginia, even if Deadpool didn't die, he would at least be torn to pieces.

He just didn't expect Deadpool's healing ability to be so strong. How long had it been? An hour? Two hours? He was almost fully recovered.

Blaine wondered how his own regeneration compared.

Since purchasing the regeneration skill from the system, he hadn't had much chance to use it. No one had managed to break through his defenses—not enough to test broken arms, legs, or even small wounds.

Seeing Deadpool's grotesque appearance, Blaine didn't want to cut off his head too soon. Since traveling to this world, no one had truly understood his words.

"Little punk, are there guests here? Do you want me to kick you?"

"Mind your own business, don't worry about it… three-four-three…"

"Oh, shit, you piece of trash…"

Blaine hadn't expected the kind-looking, blind old lady to be so harsh after spending so much time with Deadpool.

"The goddess of Death you mentioned should be the lover of the Purple Sweet Potato."

"Oh, you know that bitch? Are you the same as me? Or are you the OAA?"

It was worth clarifying: this Death was not Hela, goddess of death in Asgard, who had no direct connection. Hela was strong, but far from the level of the cosmic entity Death.

Death was one of the five primordial entities, her power on par with Galactus.

"Your power should be a curse from that Purple Sweet Potato."

"Superpowers are imaginary. Turning green, spinning webs, lugging around a shield, or growing steel claws—what use are they except fighting and killing? In my opinion, being lucky and rich is the kind of ability that truly makes people happy."

Blaine looked on like he was watching a show, humming mockingly.

In truth, Deadpool's healing wasn't originally so extreme.

At first, Deadpool only joined the Weapon X experiments to cure his cancer, accidentally gaining Wolverine's regenerative powers. Even then, his healing wasn't considered top-tier in the Marvel universe.

The ridiculous part was that Deadpool's bizarre charm somehow caught the attention of Death herself, one of the cosmic entities, who fell in love with him.

Because of this, Thanos—jealous of Deadpool's connection to Death—cursed him with true immortality, preventing him from ever joining her.

"Ah, forget it. That guy's all purple—so what if I dyed him a little green? He's so stingy, cursing me like this."

Blaine was speechless. It was the first time he had met someone who could speak so casually about sleeping with another's lover.

Suddenly, Blaine found himself unable to continue the conversation. Deadpool's thought process was so erratic it was impossible to keep up.

"Aren't you going to kill me? Come on, OAA dad, send me to heaven. I've lived enough—I'm sick of that old woman's crap sauce."

Deadpool broke the silence with his usual antics.

He looked cheap and careless, as if to say, come on, hurry up, guest officer.

"Shit, fuck squid, your sweet sauce is crap—you eat crap every day!"

Although the old lady was blind, her ears worked just fine.

"All right, you're so mean. I'm going to prick you with a needle."

Since Blaine's arrival, Deadpool had been even more insufferable. If Blaine didn't already know this was his normal behavior, he might have stabbed him through the heart just to shut him up.

Blaine slowly pulled out the Cursed Blood Knife, aiming it at Deadpool's neck. If the blade's poison somehow killed him permanently, Blaine would actually regret it.

"Hurry up, I've been waiting for ages…"

*Slash!*

With one swing, Blaine cut off his head. Instantly, his body gushed blood like a broken faucet.

Blaine had expected Deadpool's healing to make it a bloodless sight, but no.

"Hiss—it really hurts. Your knife's poisonous. Why does it sting like the old woman's embroidery needle?"

"You really are impossible. Even decapitated, you won't shut up."

Blaine was helpless, staring at the still-talking head on the ground. He was truly speechless.

How could Stan Lee have created such a bizarre character?

Blaine tossed a rag over Deadpool's head, preparing to leave.

"Hey, hey, old woman, make more of that crap sauce. Oh shit, don't wait up for me…"

"You still care about her?"

"Of course—it's all I eat."

"You've got so many powerful girlfriends. Why not live with them instead?"

"Fake news, kid. Who do you think I am? I'm not someone who lives off his face."

Blaine shook his head. Clearly, Deadpool was exactly the type who depended on others.

Blaine grabbed Deadpool's head like a bag of takeout and teleported directly to a rooftop.

"Oh, oh, oh! Oh shit, what's going on? What's happening?!"

"Why am I suddenly here? Is this teleportation? Oh shit, this is so cool!"

"Quick, quick, one more time, one more time!"

"Could you be quiet for a while…"

Suddenly, a gale rose as Blaine shot upward into the sky.

At the same time, a pair of colorful wings spread from his back.

Why colorful?

Because Blaine had specially synthesized them with multiple elements—flashy, but draining. They consumed 4.2 times more spiritual power. Normally, he wouldn't bother with such a wasteful stunt.

Today was an exception.

If you were going to show off, you had to go all the way—especially with a bystander watching, eyes shining.

Blaine's speed was incredible, and retracing his path was faster. It had taken hours to arrive in West Virginia, but only an hour and a half later he was standing in the yard of a villa in Queens.

"Ah, I'm home. I'm almost asleep."

Asleep? Blaine didn't believe it.

From the moment they left, Deadpool never stopped talking. His mouth ran nonstop, and Blaine's head felt ready to explode.

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