NICOLETTE
They had lost Dale.
Even Dale.
Nicki should have been accustomed to the feeling by now. But after two months of losing people, it hurt worse each time.
Dale had felt like a grandfather to her. Though she had known him for such a short time, their bond felt deeper, as if they had grown up together. Now, standing in the silent camp, she looked at the top of his RV where he once sat, smiling down, offering advice. But now, there was no one up there. Without him, everything felt different.
"I wanted to thank you," she whispered, kneeling beside his grave. They had buried him next to Sophia's. Her fingers brushed the freshly turned earth, still soft under her touch. It had not even been a day.
"I can't stay long," she continued, rubbing her eyes to stave off tears. "Hershel will let us stay in the house since winter is coming, and after..." Her breath hitched. She didn't know why she spoke to the ground. She had never believed in heaven, and after everything that had happened, she believed even less. But maybe, just maybe, she hoped that somewhere, Dale could hear her. And Sophia, Amy, Jim, Jacqui... her mum...
Nicki found herself thinking about her family more often. After Dale's death, she couldn't help but wonder if her parents were alive, if they had found good people, if they were safe together. Her grandmother was eighty—could she still be alive? Was she dead? Eaten? Turned...?
"Shit, no," she muttered, shaking her head as if to dispel the thoughts. She wouldn't think about it. She couldn't.
Quickly, she grabbed her bow from the ground and headed back toward camp, knowing they needed help moving everything. Daryl, T-Dog, Andrea, and Shane had gone to clear the area and secure the farm, following Rick's orders. Now, as she approached, Nicki saw everyone gathered, listening intently to Rick's instructions.
"T-Dog," Rick said, his voice firm. "You take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going."
"What about standing guard?" T-Dog asked, shifting on his feet.
"I need you and Daryl on double duty," Rick replied, glancing at Daryl, who was unloading supplies from the truck next to Sarah.
"Gotcha," T-Dog nodded, moving off with Daryl, who exchanged a glance with Sarah before leaving. Sarah turned to Nicki, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear—a silent inquiry about how she was feeling. Nicki nodded, grateful for her sister's support.
The night before, Sarah hadn't been able to sleep. Nicki remembered her sitting silently at the entrance of their tent, watching the dark outside. Nicki hadn't had the heart to ask her what was wrong; Sarah had spent so much time with Dale. He had taught her so much, and Nicki figured it was best to let her cope in her own way.
"I'll stock the basement with food and water," Hershel announced, passing by Rick. "Enough for everyone to survive down there for a few days if we need to."
"What about patrols?" Andrea chimed in.
"Let's get this area locked down first," Rick replied. "After that, Shane will assign shifts." Nicki's gaze drifted to Shane, who always seemed on edge, ready to clash with Rick at any moment.
"As he does that, Daryl and I will take Randall off-site and cut him loose," Rick said, the tension in his voice palpable. Nicki noticed Shane's displeasure; it was evident he disagreed.
The night before, before what had happened to Dale, Rick did not kill Randall. Nicki had been there when he got back to the camp, with Carl by his side. The Little Shit had followed them to take a look at the execution, apparently.
"Strange interest you've got there, Shorty," she told him, stepping into his tent while his parents spoke outside.
"I wanted to see," he replied, sitting on the ground.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because it felt easy," he said, looking up at her. "The decision to kill him."
Nicki studied the boy for a moment, unable to blame him. She felt the same way.
"Is 'easy' right?" she found herself asking, and that caught his attention.
"What do you mean?" he asked, curiosity piqued.
"Is an easy decision a right decision?" Nicki explained. "I thought it was, but... maybe it's not... or is it? I don't know." She sighed heavily, surrendering to the weight of uncertainty.
"Me neither." And it was at that moment, as they locked eyes, that Dale's piercing scream had echoed through the night.
Nicki could still hear it as if it were happening at that very moment, and she hoped it would have faded away at some point.
No one cared about Randall at that point, everyone remembering that Dale had been very disappointed in all of them and that he died without knowing that the boy had not been killed. Rick wanted to honor Dale's memory, letting Randall free, and nobody had argued with that, none but Shane, of course.
"We're back to that now?" Nicki noticed her sister take a long deep breath, before starting to gather some boxes from the back of the pickup in front of her, so to make more space for other things to be loaded up.
Nicki only focused on observing the two men in front of her in silence. Shane was pissed, and Rick was doing his best to keep the conversation peaceful. Nicki wondered for how long they could last. There was tension between them. She was sure they would have gladly punched each other if they'd had the chance. And maybe they already did. Her eyes moved on the bruises they had on their faces. Either had been them or a walker that remembered how to fight.
"It was the right plan the first time around. Poor execution," Rick said.
Shane cocked his head to a side, "That's a slight understatement."
"You don't agree, but this is what's happening," Rick stated, "Swallow it. Move on," Nicki's lips turned up in a little smirk, not able to hide her admiration for Rick.
"You know that Dale's death and the prisoner are two separate things, right?" Shane asked, and Nicki heard her sister take another breath. "If you want to take Daryl as your wingman, be my guest."
"Thank you," Rick said before turning and walking away.
"Why do you always have to do this?" Sarah's voice made Nicki turn to her sister.
"Come again," Shane said with a glare, but Sarah looked up from what she was doing, no fear in her eyes.
"Of course," she answered, "Why do you always have to do this?" This time, she spelled out every word clearly, "Talking down at Daryl."
Shane scoffed, shaking his head.
"You do. All the time."
That was true. Since Rick and all of them had started to see and appreciate what Daryl was doing, Shane's behavior had gotten worse with Daryl, as if he didn't deserve all the trust that he now had.
"You can pretend to be a leader all you want and have fun doing so," Sarah said. "But what Daryl is doing and has been doing is undeniable, and you should be glad he is here." Nicki's eyes moved from Shane to her sister.
"Have I done nothing?" Shane asked, and Sarah let out a bitter laugh.
"Wanting to leave Sophia behind? Scare the hell out of Hershel and his family? Threatening Randall with a gun against his mouth? Keep wanting to kill the guy even if we decided against it?" She asked before nodding her head, "Yeah, you're doing a lot of stuff," and then she closed the pick up. "Thank you."
Nicki's eyes widened with admiration at her sister, who started to walk away, gesturing for her to follow. Nicolette passed in front of Shane, their eyes meeting.
"Do you have to say something?" Shane asked, and Nicki shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes moved to the gun at his side—the one that was Otis'. Then she looked up at him. Nicki saw how Shane's gaze turned into a glare, but she only turned her back to him to follow her sister to pick up some other boxes and move towards the house.
"You've been amazing," Nicki said, looking at her sister, and then let out a little chuckle.
"Just tired of his behavior," Sarah said, "He feels like he is helping a lot around here, but all he does is bring tension, and we do not need it."
The sound of Daryl's bike made them both turn to the side. Nicki noticed the man following them and the cars towards the house. Sarah smiled, seeing him.
"He is growing on you," Nicki stated, but her sister shrugged her shoulders.
"I trust him," she answered, "And I'm glad he is not going to be by himself anymore."
After what happened, no one should have moved around alone, even Daryl.
It was strange, the perspective of living in a house again. After two months in a tent, she felt almost out of place walking inside the living room.
"Here," Beth said, taking the box from Nicki's hands, "I'll bring it up to my room."
"Thank you," she whispered.
"The girls will sleep in Beth's room," Hershel said. "I'll leave my bed to Lori. Rick and Carl will be with her." Lori thanked him before heading upstairs, helped by Patriscia. She, Carol, and Andrea would have slept in Maggie's room; the others would have slept in the living room.
"Sarah," Glenn said, nudging her and making her turn. "Need your help with the RV."
"Still not moving?" She asked.
"Andrea asked for help," he answered.
"Gotcha," she said, and Daryl went next to her, his fingers brushing Sarah's arm. When she turned, he gestured towards the boxes in her hands silently. On Sarah's face appeared a smile.
"Thank you," Daryl nodded his head, chewing at his lips.
"Hey," she said to him before he could walk away, "I'm glad you're not staying out there."
Daryl observed her for a moment before shrugging his shoulder and looking down with a little smile.
"It's getting cold," Sarah's smile didn't go away.
"Sure," she said gently, "See you later."
"Mmm..." Daryl nodded his head before she turned to follow Glenn out.
"Do whatever Rick asks," Sarah said to Nicki before exiting the room.
"What can I do?" Nicki asked, hanging her bow across her shoulders as she exited the house. The sheriff was still giving instructions, turning as he saw Nicolette.
"Do you want help to reinforce the house?" Rick asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Whatever you need," she answered simply. Rick nodded his head.
"Let the kid come with me, Rick," Shane's voice made her turn. The man was laying his back against the car, "We'll bring the beams."
Nicolette observed Shane. He knew that she didn't trust him, and she was curious to know why he wanted to have this bonding experience with her.
Nicki saw Rick observing the man, too, before turning to Nicki.
"You okay with that?" He asked. Nicki looked over at Shane once more.
"Sure," she said simply, "It'll be fun," then she walked towards Shane, looking at him before entering the car. Her eyes never left him as he made his way towards the driving seat.
"It's been a while since we last ran a car together," Shane said, turning on the car. Nicki nodded.
"On our way to the CDC," she said, remembering leaving the camp in Shane's jeep. It felt like a lifetime ago.
"Things were less tense then," Shane said.
"We thought we would be safe then," Nicki answered, turning away.
Shane chuckled, "So, you think we are not safe, too."
"You're talking about Randall," she stated, not surprised.
"Aren't you?" Shane asked, and she could feel his eyes on her, but she gave no answer.
"Ya know we're not safe," that made her smile, but she didn't turn. She remembered that day at the barn, how he talked everyone into following him to "protect them," or how he had encouraged Carl to shoot to protect his mother. She had lost all kinds of trust in the man that day. He kept lurking around Andrea, getting him on her good side, and he was always around Lori and Carl. He seemed not to like Hershel, or Daryl, or Dale... all people that didn't listen to him.
"I know you want to keep everyone safe," he kept saying. "The first time you shot was to help Sophia."
"The first time I shot a walker," she said, turning to him with a glare. She didn't like to talk about Sophia, or what she had done... or what she didn't.
"You're a protector," Shane insisted, "You know what's the right thing to do; you know I'm right about this."
Nicolette observed the man in silence. That was a nice tactic, the guilt, the fear of things happening again and again.
Everything we do, or we don't is going to affect the group, she knew that. She always thought about that.
"Right now," Nicki said when he stopped the car, "I want to protect the reinforcing the house, as Rick said. " Then she opened the door of the car and walked outside.
She didn't like to be manipulated, and she knew what he was up to. She had seen how he looked at Rick, hoping and waiting for the time someone would lose their trust in the sheriff. But Nicki was not the right person for that. What happened with Sophia didn't involve Randall. But Randall was involved with Dale. And if Dale didn't want him dead, the guy would not have died.
The two of them worked in silence, loading the beams in the back of the car. Shane didn't seem happy with the conversation that they had, and he kept scoffing every time he put away a beam. She didn't care. So she just ignored him.
"Hey, Shane?" Nicki heard Carl's voice as she tied the wooden pieces together from inside the car.
"What's up, man?" She heard Shane ask, "What are you doing, wandering around by yourself?" Nicki moved to see Carl through the window. He was nervous, worried, and probably sad after everything they'd seen the night before.
"If..." he muttered, "If I tell you something, will you promise not to tell my parents?" Nicki's brows frowned.
Shane sighed, "I think it's probably a bad idea for both of us, bud." Carl didn't seem pleased by his answer, so he looked down and started to walk back towards the house.
What did he want to say to Shane?
"Nicki," Shane called for her before calling Carl's back. The boy looked at her as he walked closer.
"What?" She asked.
"Can you walk back to the house while I talk to Carl?" Shane asked, sitting against the back of the car.
"I'm supposed to help," she answered.
"We're done," Shane said dismissively. "I'll just drive the thing back after I'm done with Carl."
Nick looked at the man before shrugging her shoulders, "Whatever..." she muttered, starting to walk towards the house. As she did so, though, she turned back, noticing Carl giving Shane a gun. Why was Shorty going around with a gun? For what she knew, Rick didn't want him to be armed. And why did he need to tell Shane? That got her curious. Shorty was acting rather strange that day.
She had been helping around the house. After Shane got them back, Hershel closed the windows with the beams, and Nicki was with Beth, arranging the sleeping bags around the house.
"It's going to be a bit tight," Beth said, probably trying to make small talk.
"It's a room, it's alright," Nicki answered.
Beth chuckled, sitting on her back, "You are not into talking that much, are you?"
Nicolette shrugged her shoulders, "Sorry," she answered. It was not the first time someone had said that to her. All her life people said that she was quiet, grumpy or too straightforward, she wasn't the friendly type. That was more of Sarah.
"It's alright," Beth said, "I... just hope we'll become friends," Nicki turned to her with a frown.
"We never even talked," she said.
"Then let's talk," Beth answered with a smile.
"About what?" Nicki asked. The girl shrugged her shoulders.
"What's your favorite color?" Beth asked. Nicki frowned at her, but Beth insisted.
"Purple," Nicki answered finally.
"Mine's green," Beth said happily. Nicolette nodded. Then, she went back to fix the sleeping bags.
"Your hobby is archery?" at Beth's questions, she nodded, "I like to sing. My dad always wants me to sing something."
Nicki's mind went back to her grandparents during Christmas.
"My granny liked how I sang," Nicki said, remembering how her grandmother always encouraged her to sing something after dinner. "I've always been too shy to do it, so Sarah would always help me." She always did that, and together, they made it. It had happened even the last Christmas—their last Christmas.
"Do you like it?" Beth asked, but Nicki shook her head.
"I did it only for her," she felt her lips quiver. There would have been no more Christmas, no more dinners with her grandparents or parents. They were on the other side of the country if they were still alive.
"I'm going to see if they need my help," Nicki said, exiting the room quickly. She didn't want to think about her family. She really couldn't.
She walked down the stairs. It was late afternoon now. The house had been secured, and the camp had been moved inside. She saw Sarah talking with Glenn and Maggie, trying to arrange the table for dinner since there was all their stuff around. Carol, Lori, and Patricia were in the kitchen, while Hershel was making sure the reinforcements were done properly, and Carl and Jimmy were moving the last boxes around.
"Nicolette," Lori's voice made Nicki move towards the kitchen. "Sweetie, could you bring this outside to Daryl?" She was giving her two big bottles of water. Now that everything was set, Rick and Daryl had to take Randall away. That was the plan.
"Sure," she said, taking the bottles in her hands and bringing them outside.
Daryl gestured for her to move closer, took the bottles from her hands, and loaded them at the back of the pickup truck.
"Hey," she said, seeing Daryl next to the pickup, "Got you some water."
Daryl gestured for her to come closer before taking the bottles from her hands and loading them in the back of the pickup truck.
"Only got so many arrows," Daryl said, looking at five arrows as T-Dog exited the house with a gun. It was a shame that she couldn't give him some of hers. But arrows for bows were different from the ones used on a crossbow.
T-Dog handed the gun to Daryl, "Is that Dale's gun?" He asked, and T-Dog nodded. "Wish I knew where the hell mine was," Daryl muttered. Nicki looked up at him without saying a word. She wasn't a detective, but she thought she had found the culprit.
"Ready?" Rick's voice came from behind them. Daryl nodded.
"I'll get the package," T-Dog said, heading towards the cabin.
"You alright, Nicolette?" Rick asked putting a hand on her shoulder. The girl nodded her head.
"Yeah..." she answered, "All good."
Rick smiled at her, "You and Carl have so many things in common," Nicki frowned. But she didn't have time to answer because T-Dog's voice yelling for Rick made them all turn.
What was happening now?