Chapter 2: Hikigaya Hachiman's Small Goal
Grand ambitions are always hard to put into action right away. That kind of thing wasn't much different even for a god-slayer like Hikigaya.
Though it wouldn't be easy, Hikigaya had already set himself a small goal: "I played too wild recently, so for now I'll act a little more proper." Because of that, his preliminary work was carried out fairly seriously.
For instance, before summoning the black man, he had gone to Tokyo and had a somewhat high-level conversation with the local underworld bosses. In any case, it was a lot more proper than before. After he returned, it was said that Chiba suddenly had far fewer young women.
But that had nothing to do with him. He hadn't met those girls anyway. Most likely the Dark had just knocked them out with blackjacks.
After summoning the black man, he also continued diligently fulfilling his role as a teacher — because Komachi was already in her second year of high school.
In his previous life, high school had basically been synonymous with "not human at all." Things here seemed a little better, but only by comparison.
Hikigaya thought that as long as he faithfully finished out this one year as a teacher, it would be no problem for Komachi to go on to study at Tokyo University. After that, he could happily go off and pursue archaeology.
Wait… was there some problem with this plan?
No, no, no — not a problem at all. After all, as long as a god-slayer didn't get killed by a god, he had time to spare. A year or so was nothing — he could spend that just idly scratching his feet and it would pass.
Hikigaya decided that for this year he would be a pacifist. People like Voban or Doni — please don't randomly invite him.
He would not go!
"That's that then. Bye-bye." Sitting at his desk, Hikigaya slammed the phone down.
The call had been from a certain Italian obsessed with swords. That guy's brain was famous throughout Europe for not working properly. But Hikigaya had new insight into that now.
Damn it! I already said I'm not going, and you keep calling? Are you so stupid now you can't even understand human language anymore?!
After hanging up, Hikigaya picked up his lesson plan… next class was history.
As for history, he had already finished teaching everything he knew about Japanese mythology. Recently, he'd started covering foreign stories instead.
Komachi seemed more interested in these, and her grades had improved significantly. That was truly a gratifying thing.
What story had he told last time? Oh, right — the one about the bearded man who tried to overpower his daughter, but the daughter was stronger than the father.
Honestly, Zeus was trash. He couldn't even clear a dungeon properly. No wonder his wife forced him to work every day. Compared to that alien friend Hikigaya had known in his past life — the one who could land critical hits just by dyeing his hair — Zeus was way inferior.
That guy could switch dungeons in minutes, and occasionally pop back with a buff just to check on his son. After that, his wife could never force him to work again.
Speaking of which, where had Athena gone? It had been ages since there was any word from her.
Hopefully she had more decency than her father, and wouldn't just casually go after fresh young men.
After reviewing for a bit, Hikigaya finally heard the bell ring for class. With satisfaction, he put away the novel in his hand, patted his hair to steady his hairstyle, and stepped out of his office with the solemn glow of righteousness plastered on his face, heading toward the classroom.
There was no gym class scheduled today. Hm, poor arrangement. He'd have to tell that fake vice principal later to swap the afternoon class for PE.
At the classroom door, he saw a few energetic boys listlessly playing with their phones.
Not bad seedlings, he thought. If tossed into Yomi, whoever didn't die could then have his parents congratulated: "Your son has matured."
Should he toss them in for a test?
Wait, why was he thinking like that? It had to be Voban's bad influence.
He was supposed to be a pacifist until his little sister went to college. Important things deserved repeating.
Hikigaya walked up to the lectern and cast a critical eye at the writing on the blackboard. Hm, looked better than his own handwriting. Best leave it there.
Turning around, he saw the boys had already quietly put away their phones, and everyone appeared to be sitting properly at their desks.
Tsk, tsk. Already this obedient? Their edges had been worn smooth far too early — no youthfulness at all.
Hikigaya had been hoping his class would have one or two delinquent types — the kind who made noise during lessons and never sat properly.
Unfortunately, in this school, such creatures had apparently learned to switch to "class mode" long ago.
Clearing his throat deliberately, Hikigaya placed his hand on the lectern and swept his gaze across the class. He found only one unruly look — Komachi's.
But since the only untamed being in the class was his little sister, she was entitled to privileges. So he pretended not to notice.
With a faint sigh of disappointment, Hikigaya said: "Hmm, looks like everyone's in good condition. Very good. You're high schoolers — your goal should be to get into a good university. People who date will either break up after graduation, or get cheated on. Losers, all of them."
He noticed the students didn't react. His verbal provocation had once again failed.
Good. That meant no one in class was chasing after his sister.
"Alright, let's begin," he continued with a smile. "Today we'll talk about historical figures. Who knows about the Exodus?"
A hand shot up immediately.
"Sensei, I know!"
"Go ahead."
"Moses parted the sea! He brought ten plagues upon Egypt!"
"Mm. Then tell everyone, what kind of person do you think Moses was?"
"He's a hero! The king of the Hebrews!"
"And?"
"Uh… that's all I know, teacher."
The enthusiastic boy wilted.
Hikigaya motioned for him to sit down. He wasn't disappointed.
To be honest, if everyone already knew everything, he'd have nothing left to say.
"Then let's talk about Moses today," Hikigaya said, meeting their expectant eyes. "But first, let me correct something: Moses was never a king. At that time, the Hebrews didn't have kings. They only had elders. Unfortunately, Moses wasn't even an elder."
"But didn't all the Hebrews listen to him?" a student protested. "And wasn't he a prince of Egypt?"
Hikigaya didn't get angry. He just gave him a sidelong glance and replied coolly: "He parted the sea. Can you do that? Also — if your wife gave birth to a black baby, would you believe it was yours?"
From a logical standpoint, that statement was flawless. The disobedient kid shut up immediately.
These students simply hadn't met Moses in person, unlike Hikigaya. Otherwise, they wouldn't ask such questions.
In Hikigaya's view, Moses' high status among the Hebrews was for one very simple reason: back then, Pharaoh Ramesses II paid the Hebrews' wages through Moses.
What use is an elder who can't distribute salaries? Nothing but salted fish.
"Alright, joking aside," Hikigaya continued, "since no one else has anything to add, I'll tell you about this slave-born man, starting with his friendship with the Pharaoh."