Chapter 6: Hikigaya-sensei's Teaching Style
It was his first time teaching a class. Although it was a physical education class, Hikigaya still felt quite looking forward to it.
Although Hikigaya was a bit surprised there were actually youkai (monsters) in the school's woods, it wasn't a big deal—after all, he literally had one perched on his head.
As his initial skill, Hikigaya looked at the boys and girls standing before him on the playground and reminisced a bit about his own youth.
Perhaps because of Cherry Academy's layout, the school felt rather lacking in population to Hikigaya. Besides the teaching buildings and sports fields, most places were very quiet.
He chose to hold class by the swimming pool.
Why did he pick the swimming pool? Have you forgotten about the Seven Dragon Balls... oh no, that guy was a parkour runner and a thief, sorry, wrong story.
In any case, the swimming pool was very necessary.
Because a large group of girls in shorts and sportswear were standing by the poolside, which made Hikigaya feel his eyes were filled with youthful vigor.
Now, the dozens of boys and girls in front of him were fresh, just-minted high school freshmen. Back when he was in high school in his previous life, kids this age were basically synonyms for "From today on, stop being human" or "Why is your book so thin you can't even bury a person?"
These kids were far luckier.
But in a blink of an eye, even Komachi had become a high schooler...
Hikigaya, already dressed in his sports teacher outfit, walked to the poolside, pulled out the student roster and flipped through it casually. His laid-back attitude made the students feel very familiar and at ease.
This guy looked like he had no energy at all. With that aura, surely after taking attendance he'd just say, "Go play however you want"—at least that's what most of the students thought.
So they all watched this seemingly not much older new teacher lazily flip through the roster, and then... close it.
"Ehh! This guy's too lazy even to take attendance?" many started grumbling in their hearts.
Hikigaya had no idea what everyone was thinking but thoroughly enjoyed Komachi's surprised look.
He also finally understood why Kuroneko had become Komachi's friend—they were classmates.
That girl was quite socially capable. Becoming friends with such a tsundere wasn't easy.
"Hello, everyone," Hikigaya withdrew his gaze from Komachi and Kuroneko, smiling gently at all the students. "My name is Hikigaya Hachiman. From today onwards, I will be your physical education teacher. Oh, right, I'll also be teaching you history."
The guy who took the phone call was seriously an absolute idiot! He really turned him into a history teacher.
Luckily, history was somewhat manageable. As for math and chemistry, Hikigaya managed to pass those off.
"The teacher's last name is the same as Komachi's, isn't it?" asked Gokou Ruri softly from the crowd, quiet but loud enough for everyone to hear.
"That's because I'm her older brother," Hikigaya said with a smile. "But don't worry, I won't show favoritism."
What the heck is favoritism? Teacher, are you planning to do something dangerous!?
Everyone felt powerless. This person seemed to have more problems than just laziness...
Really unreliable!
"Just in case, let me ask you all—do you know how sports competitions came about?" Hikigaya chuckled, but his smile made everyone's hearts uneasy.
Komachi's mind was ringing alarms.
What trash brother, what are you trying to do?
Because everyone was uncomfortable, no one spoke.
But Hikigaya Hachiman was a considerate teacher and kindly started explaining.
"Don't know? That's okay. Listen, a long time ago, there was a little mustachioed guy whose father was killed by natives, so he gathered many people to fight the natives, but still lost. The natives were so happy, they invented sports competitions."
"Come on, tell me," the shameless teacher asked the now totally gloomy students, "have you discovered the essence of sports from this story?"
Essence my foot!
Everyone internally grumbled loudly.
What nonsense! Forget sports, is it really okay to let this guy teach history?
"Oh? Haven't discovered it yet?" Hikigaya looked surprised, then smiled even more kindly. "Hahaha, you want to test me, right? No problem. Let me tell you... that means a truly handsome dude definitely knows martial arts!"
"Focus on class, dummy big brother!" finally someone couldn't hold back—it was a familiar voice.
"Komachi, I'm going to scold you," Hikigaya huffed. "Even though you're a Bro-com, in such a serious situation you still have to call me Hikigaya-sensei properly."
All the students' eyes instantly focused on Komachi, mostly thinking, "This sounds interesting."
"I'm not a Bro-con!" Komachi's face instantly turned bright red, glaring fiercely, showing her little tiger teeth.
Want to bite me? You actually want to bite your teacher during class? Tsk tsk tsk, Komachi, what kind of person are you?
"Alright, alright, no joking. My Komachi isn't a Bro-con, she just likes guys like me," Hikigaya yawned, scratched his ear, and continued. "By the way, although you're all young and probably think about naughty things when you're free, please don't get horny over my little sister. That'll be deadly, I'm not kidding."
Ignoring the increasingly strange looks from everyone, he clapped his hands and announced, "But since you're my sister's classmates, of course I'll take care of you. I'll make you so happy you'll cry. No need to thank me."
"..." Everyone looked at each other.
What the hell? Does this guy really have a teaching certificate?
Then they heard the teacher say again: "To be honest, I'm actually a martial arts expert."
"Pfft!"
"Hahahahaha!!!"
"Komachi! Your brother is hilarious!"
"Ah oh oh! My waist! I twisted it!"
Damn it! Why are they laughing so wildly!?
Hikigaya looked at the swaying group with a sinister smile.
Young people, huh? You still need to be polished.
Youth is like enjoying the peak of pleasure only to be hit with a bucket of foot bath water right in the face—right after passing through a microwave!
"So, I'm going to teach you martial arts," he said dryly amid the bursts of laughter.
"Hehe, Komachi's brother is so interesting!" a girl with a fairly sweet appearance giggled teasingly at Hikigaya. "What kind of martial arts will you teach us?"
She even gave him a fake, unoriginal seductive wink.
But ever since Hikigaya became a God Slayer, the winks he enjoyed pretending to give were the latest world-leading fashion.
This kind of fake, pointless wink was beneath him.
"Do you know, China is a land where martial arts flourished.
Once there was a great hero called 'West Madman,' whose martial arts were terrifying.
That's because he always trained during heavy rainstorms with mountain floods."
This sentence, coupled with the splashing water sounds from the pool, sounded especially cool.
Everyone who was laughing slowly stopped.
"Teacher? You want to teach us this kind of martial arts?" someone swallowed nervously and asked.
"This student is really smart," Hikigaya happily gave him a thumbs up. "This place is full of birdsong and flowers, beautiful environment, no mountain floods, but the pool is still here."
Damn it! What a beast!
"I protest!" someone immediately said. "This is abuse. We can refuse to obey your arrangements!"
"Young man, here's a truth: when facing authority, you can enjoy it first, then call the police," Hikigaya smiled without caring at all. "Besides, when I was your age, I loved happily playing in the pool with female classmates. I believe you're the same."
All the boys showed shy expressions, and the girls couldn't help but spit.
But no matter boy or girl, everyone had the same thought:
This guy really is a beast!