The Unforgettable Battle of the Idiot Duo
The final semifinal match had finally begun: Kotetsu vs. Izumo — two teenagers who had been friends and training partners since they were kids wearing headbands too big for their heads.
At first, the match looked serious. Kotetsu swung his golden axe with full strength, sending gusts of wind that made even the front-row spectators hold their breath.
Izumo responded with remarkable agility, casting a field of sticky Starch Syrup Capturing Field around the arena.
The jounin sat up straighter. Some even began taking notes on their fighting styles for later evaluation. Hiruzen and the clan leaders watched calmly. Kushina sat with her hands on her lap, a proud smile on her face.
But it only took two minutes before everything started… to fall apart.
"ARRGH—IZUMO, YOUR TENTACLE IS TOUCHING THE WRONG PLACE!!"
Kotetsu screamed in panic as one of the syrup tentacles wrapped around his thigh in a very… ambiguous position. Too ambiguous. Even some battle-hardened veteran jounin couldn't hold back their reactions.
"Ughk!"
"Errgh…" one female jounin covered her mouth with a fan, her cheeks blushing.
A few coughs echoed from the observer's seats. Hiruzen straightened his back and cleared his throat. Some jounin glanced at Kushina with meaningful expressions.
Kushina's face turned red — so red, it put her hair to shame. She covered her face with both hands and muttered to herself, "I don't know them… I didn't train them… I was just passing by…"
Unfortunately, the show wasn't over.
In the next five minutes, absurd scenes kept unfolding:
Kotetsu slipped on his own syrup-covered sandals, sending his axe flying and almost hitting the referee.
Izumo tried to create a syrup web trap but ended up trapped in it himself after slipping.
At one point, the two locked themselves in a position that, if illustrated, would be highly inappropriate for a ninja training manual—but perfect for the back cover of an Icha Icha Paradise novel.
Several jounin spontaneously covered the eyes of eliminated Genin children who had been watching.
"Is this… still the Chunin Exams?" whispered one young ninja from the back.
Finally, just as everyone thought the fight would spiral endlessly, Kotetsu seized the chance while Izumo was knee-deep in his own syrup. He jumped and…
SMACK!
…spanked Izumo with the flat side of his axe.
"ARGH! KOTETSU THAT'S NOT AN HONORABLE WAY TO WIN!" screamed Izumo.
"WHO CARES, I WIN, IDIOT!" Kotetsu grinned.
The referee could only raise a hand and declare: "Winner: Kotetsu Hagane!"
In the stands, Kushina and Natsu could only stare blankly at the ceiling like their souls had left their bodies.
"Today… I have no students…" Kushina mumbled under her breath, like chanting an exorcism.
The audience burst into laughter.
But the real chaos came moments later.
Across the stands, Kakashi stood up calmly. His eyes showed a subtle smile—directed precisely at Kushina.
One look that said, "It's okay."
Kushina, realizing the gaze, turned even redder. Shaking with embarrassment, she stood abruptly and—
Swish!
Disappeared in a flash.
"HIRAISHIN!?"
The word echoed across the audience.
Whispers broke out. "Uzumaki Kushina mastered the Hiraishin no Jutsu?!"
Hiruzen blinked in surprise, then chuckled softly. "Heh… Minato must be smiling from the afterlife."
Meanwhile, at his spot, Kakashi chuckled, making Gai turn with a shocked look.
"Kakashi?! Did… did you just laugh?"
"Sorry, Gai… it was too funny not to," Kakashi said, wiping a tear from his eye.
By the end of the semifinals, everyone knew: this day wouldn't be remembered for who won… but for those who made it unforgettable.
Especially those who made very questionable moves in the middle of a ninja battle.
The Next Day
The Hokage's office felt more solemn than usual. Inside, four young figures stood tall before the desk of the Third Hokage—Sarutobi Hiruzen, who looked at them with pride.
"Uchiha Itachi, Hyuga Natsu, Kamizuki Izumo, and Hagane Kotetsu," he said, unrolling the official scroll. "Based on your performance during the recent Chunin Exams and the recommendations of your supervising jounin, from today onward, you are officially promoted to Chunin."
Itachi bowed politely, Natsu straightened with pride, while Kotetsu and Izumo… elbowed each other with grins.
"We made it, bro!" Kotetsu whispered.
"Told you we'd be famous!" Izumo beamed.
Natsu sighed deeply. "Please… don't embarrass me in front of the Hokage…"
Hiruzen simply chuckled. "Your match… was quite entertaining," though his voice sounded more like he was suppressing a cough than giving praise.
Oh, speaking of the final match… sure, Itachi won. But who cared?
All of Konoha was buzzing not about the champion of this year's Chunin Exams, but about one legendary, ridiculous, laugh-out-loud battle: Kotetsu vs. Izumo.
"The Idiot Duo of Konoha." That's how the local ninja bulletin described them in the weekly update.
And strangely, only Kushina and Natsu felt enough secondhand shame to want to bury themselves.
The idiot duo? They wore their fame like a badge of honor.
That Night, at Kakashi's House…
"Uuuuuhhh… I… I don't know them…!" Kushina moaned, burying her face into Kakashi's chest, who was still in his jounin uniform. "One of them spanked his friend with a blunt axe, Kakashi. PROUDLY. AND EVERYONE SAW!"
Kakashi sat calmly on the sofa, stroking Kushina's red hair as she curled up against him like a sulking teenager.
"There, there… they're just teenagers… either too creative… or too stupid…" Kakashi whispered, voice calm like autumn wind.
"Why does it feel like training them made them dumber?" Kushina groaned, her voice flat with despair. "Izumo used syrup tentacles! TENTACLES, Kakashi!"
"…You told them to improvise," Kakashi said, trying not to laugh.
"Not like that!" Kushina whined and buried her face again, grumbling.
Their relationship had reached this point without ever needing the words date, partner, or I love you.
For two adult shinobi like them, a hug, a hand held, and growing trust were more than enough.
In the corner, Pakkun simply sat with his head on his paws, staring at the couple with half-lidded eyes.
"…I thought I'd get a peaceful night's sleep… guess that was a dream…" the little pug muttered, rolling over and pretending he didn't exist.