Diana stared at Bell as if he had just said the most absurd thing imaginable.
Thump!
That was the sound of her heart.
"No," she said immediately. The word came out sharp, almost panicked. "No. That's not true. You… you're lying."
Her nails dug into her palms as she shook her head, strands of her blue hair falling messily over her face.
"That's not how it works. I've read about how vampires create their servants. They have to purposely inject their essence into the human rather than simply drinking their blood. You don't just…" her voice cracked, "you don't just become one out of nowhere without my permission."
She hated that word. The word that described her other self.
Vampire.
She hated what the vampire blood inside her had turned her into. She hated the hunger that never fully went away, no matter how many slices of bread she ate or how many cuts of meat she consumed.
She hated the whispers that only she could hear in her mind.
She hated the way that her reflection felt unfamiliar, as if she were wearing someone else's skin. And sometimes, her reflection disappeared entirely.
Although her physical strength and speed were vastly improved, and she acquired new abilities that were enviable, finding out that she was a vampire wasn't a gift.
It was a stain and a sin that was carved into her existence.
It was paranoia that there was a hunter around the corner waiting for her
And now, you're telling me that Bell is also a vampire?!
Her red eyes flicked back to Bell, scanning him like she was searching for a clue, for proof that could be used to tell whether he was lying. But she could see it. No, she could feel it.
The thread told her everything she needed to know.
His presence wasn't human anymore. It resonated closely with her own. They were like two notes that were vibrating at the same frequency.
"You're lying," she repeated herself, quieter this time. "You have to be."
Bell didn't respond to her right away. He was still slightly adjusting to how his new body functioned. There was this foreign rhythm in his chest that he wasn't used to yet.
Although his new start ability allowed him to assimilate and become a vampire, or at least vampire-adjacent, he could sense that he didn't have the same hunger as her.
There wasn't this desire for blood like Diana's hunger and thirst that had been tormenting her recently.
In its place, however, was something else; it was a faint awareness, a sensitivity to blood, to life, and to her.
Why her? Was it because she was the one whose essence turned him into a vampire, even though it had been done so without her permission?
Usually, when a vampire turns a human into a vampire, they become their subordinate and are utterly in their control. However, he didn't feel like he was attached to her in that same sense.
Yes, he felt the connection. But no, there wasn't this urge in him to bow and obey her every word.
"I wish I were lying," he finally responded to her.
Although this thread that connected them helped him understand her emotions, it most likely also did the same for her.
He felt uncomfortable that she was able to peer into his emotions that no one else even had a clue about through the stoic expression he kept on his face at all times.
Being a vampire had its perks, but he worried that it would also come with its own consequences later in the future.
Diana's breath came to a halt. Her hands flew up to her head, and as she dug her fingers into her hair, it looked as if she was trying to claw the thought out of her skull.
"No, no, no-no-no," she uttered, taking one step backward, then another, then another. "Did I do this? I didn't mean to. I didn't… this wasn't supposed to happen. You were supposed to die. But instead, you… you…"
Her voice trembled, and she hated that most of all; she was showing vulnerability and weakness to Bell, the last person she wanted to see her like this.
"I already crossed the line," she whispered to herself. "The day my vampire blood awakened, the line of being a human was already long gone for me. I became a monster. I am… a monster. And now…"
Her teeth clenched as she looked up at Bell.
"Now I've made another monster."
A monster who had been wearing a human's skin was now an actual monster.
He didn't say anything as he looked at her, but the emotions she was feeling, his emotions that she was sensing, overwhelmed her, and she yelled at him, sharp and accusing despite his silence.
"You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to turn you into a vampire? The last thing I would want in this world is a more powerful Bell Agnus! Even before I turned you, you were a monster! I simply gave you the exterior to match the interior!"
Each word that came out of her mouth tasted wrong on its way out, but she couldn't stop herself.
She was a sinner.
She, even if it was out of her control, had just created a greater evil.
'I should've just killed him and snapped his neck rather than… rather than suck his blood. I'm such a fool!'
The regret of her decision echoed in her head and Bell could feel it through the thread.
She was supposed to take her first life. It was going to be the moment that marked the day her human side died and her vampire side truly awoken.
That's what she had read in the books. The dangerous race known as vampires.
Their thirst for human blood urges them to kill. They create their own twisted version of a family by transforming the humans they don't kill. Then their family members make their own families. The cycle continues, and within a few generations, the humanity of hundreds and thousands is gone.
Diana never wanted to turn anyone.
If she were the last remaining vampire, then so be it.
She was going to die with the blood left unshared. It would be the only way she could repent for being a monster.
And now, instead of that potential closure when she closes her eyes to sleep, instead of revenge against the man who had caused her a world of pain — she had created another her.
Something that shouldn't exist.
Bell Gideon Agnus. Now a vampire
A vampire who is hard to kill. A vampire whose urges dictate their behavior.
A man who already lost himself to his urges once.
Now she gave him a justification for his action. Something to blame his crimes on.
And all of that was created by her.
She was disgusted with herself as her chest tightened painfully.
Along with the disgust, there was also something buried beneath the anger and self-loathing. It was something else, something small, something that she didn't want to acknowledge.
But even if she didn't acknowledge it, the whispers in her head did, regardless of how quiet they were.
She wasn't alone anymore.
That realization scared her more than anything else.
Because for the first time since that night, for the first time since waking up with fangs and hunger and a curse she never asked for, there was someone else standing in the same hell she was trapped in.
Someone who understood what it felt like to be changed against their will.
Someone who could hear the whispers.
Someone who was bound by the urge for blood.
But of all people it could've been who could've been chosen to stand on the same boat as her, it was—
It was him.
Diana's lips trembled as she looked at Bell, hatred and something dangerously close to relief twisting together in her chest.
"I hate you," she said quietly. "Do you have any idea how much I hate you? Do you know how often I feel like killing myself because of what you did? Do you know how many nights I lie to sleep and relive that night in my dreams? "
Bell met her gaze without flinching.
"Do you know just how much I fucking hate you?" she asked as a tear trickled down her face. "Every day, every night, every passing second of my life… it all feels like torture. It's all because of you."
Through the thread between them, he felt it all: the fury, the pain, the confusion, and even the unwanted flicker of comfort she despised herself for feeling.
"Do you know how many times I've curled up in the bathroom, crying my heart out while letting the water run so that no one can hear me? Every time I take a step outside of my room, I can see your face on everyone's body. What if they also harm me? What if they forced me as you did? That's all I can think about. Do you know how hard it is to live with these tormenting thoughts that eat away at my sanity?"
Beads of spit flicked out of her mouth as she spoke. She was no longer holding anything back, releasing it all out there for him to hear.
"Do you know… just how much pain you've caused me?" she asked, tilting her head up to meet his gaze.
He could barely see her blue pupils through the thick layer of tears that had coated her eyes.
"…Yeah," he replied. "I know."
His answer wasn't comforting for her. It only made it worse.
She could tell he was telling the truth and that broke her heart because now, no matter how much she wanted to deny it, no matter how much she wanted to run away, there was a connection between them.
They were linked, and there was no going back.
His response was the truth.
The truth that hurts just as much as a lie.
"Can you please just… just give me justice and kill yourself?" she asked as a twisted smile grew on her face.
Drip. Drop.
"...I'm sorry."