I was wrong about the chapter title.
Like, completely off.
What a bummer. Fate really went, "Hey Shigeru, here's the plot! Haha, just kidding, side quest time!" and I, the clown of the narrative, walked right into it wearing oversized slippers and a lollipop staff.
So there we were—our ragtag desert party, now featuring one extra kid who definitely wasn't on the outline. We marched toward the Village Chief's house like it was still part of the main story, even though we all knew the main story was probably miles away sipping cactus juice.
The sandstorm was dying down, but my sanity wasn't recovering nearly as fast.
"You know," I began, already launching into one of my patented Lore Monologues, "I think this whole thing is a trap. A big, sandy, ancient trap made by long-forgotten gods who just wanted to troll people. Like, imagine Budget Egypt, but with more homicidal ruins and fewer pyramid schemes."
Lumine gave me a look. Not a full glare, but that subtle mom-tier disappointment with a pinch of "I will stab you with your own sword if you keep talking."
Nilou, bless her soul, still smiled. She walked beside me like someone who's spent enough time around theater people to tolerate improv.
"Maybe the gods weren't trying to trap people," she said gently. "Maybe they were just misunderstood."
Greg, currently draped over my shoulder like a furry lizard scarf, flicked his tongue as if in agreement—or disgust. Probably both. Jury's out.
Cyno, who was ahead of us like the Terminator but angrier, finally turned his head.
"If this is another monologue about desert gods and ancient bathroom traps, I am going to walk into the nearest sandstorm."
"Oh come on," I said, catching up. "Don't you wanna hear about the legend of the Anubis Pit-Toilet? It flushes souls."
Cyno actually stopped walking. Just stopped. Hands to hips. Deadpan stare. A man truly reconsidering his entire life.
Paimon, floating just above the group with the air of a smug compass fairy, groaned.
"Can we just get to Candace's place before Shigeru unlocks another weird theory?"
"Too late," I said. "I'm already thinking about why the lizard gods hate sandals."
Lumine whispered something to herself. Probably a prayer. Or a threat.
We finally arrived at the house—Candace's home, which was less of a humble abode and more of a sandstone fortress pretending to be cozy. Still had those fancy sun-emblem windows and door that looked like it could survive a direct meteor strike.
As soon as we stepped closer, Cyno gently ushered Isak to wait near a large pot of cacti.
"Stay here," he said.
"Okay," Isak replied quietly, staring at the cacti like they were keeping secrets.
Candace stepped out the front door, her spear slung across her back. The desert sun framed her like some divine bodyguard.
"Ah, you're back already," she said.
Cyno, standing straighter than a rulebook, nodded.
"We just wanted to confirm something with you. Do you know a boy by the name of Isak?"
Candace folded her arms, calm and warm. "Hehe, I had a feeling he'd go looking for you."
Paimon zipped forward. "Huh? You knew this would happen?"
Candace chuckled. "Yes. Although he tried his best to stay hidden, I still noticed him eavesdropping outside the window. He really wants to get his grandfather back."
I blinked. "Wait, hold on. He was spying on us like a sneaky side character?! That's adorable and mildly terrifying. I respect it."
Greg climbed from my shoulder to my head for dramatic effect.
Nilou said with a gentle smile. "he really cares about his grandfather, huh?"
Candace continued, her voice steady. "Isak's parents were both Eremite mercenaries who rarely returned to the village after finding employment in the city. He was raised by his grandfather."
I frowned. That sounded suspiciously like a recipe for heartbreak.
Candace didn't stop. "Unfortunately, it was only a few years before his grandpa passed away. Isak was still very young at the time, so various families in the village took turns caring for him so he could survive."
Lumine folded her arms. I saw the sadness briefly flicker in her eyes.
Candace went on. "Later, an elderly mad scholar arrived at the village. Isak thought the scholar bore a striking resemblance to his grandfather, and thus often spied on the man."
I gasped, dramatically. "It's a plot twist! Grandpa DLC unlocked!"
Cyno turned to me slowly, voice low. "If you make one more side quest joke, I will feed you to your Lizard."
Greg flicked his tongue with suspicious enthusiasm.
Candace smiled patiently, like someone used to dealing with idiots. "The scholar was unkempt in appearance and incoherent in speech. Although Isak referred to the man as his 'grandpa,' he was afraid and didn't dare to approach him."
"That's... heartbreaking," Nilou murmured.
Candace nodded. "One summer night, the oft-mumbling and bumbling 'grandpa' suddenly calmed down and seemed to become more lucid. He even noticed Isak hiding in the distance."
My brain itched. Lucid madness? Suspicious.
Candace's voice softened. "So 'Grandpa' walked up to Isak and patted him on the head. He even took Isak to the entrance of the village, where he patiently taught the boy the names of the stars and accompanied him until he fell asleep."
Even I had to go quiet for that one.
Candace continued. "The next morning, Isak woke up and wanted to go find his 'grandpa' again, only to realize the man no longer recognized him. However, even so, the scholar retained his calm expression."
Paimon hovered closer. "That just makes everything feel even sadder..."
Candace's gaze turned to the sky, as if she were talking to someone far away. "Those who saw the scholar claimed he no longer appeared to be crazy, but appeared to be living in his own world, almost as if he were sleepwalking."
Lumine whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. "Lucid Grandpa... That was probably Nahida."
I nodded. "Yup. Classic tiny archon move."
Cyno spoke again, softer this time. "Maybe the people have always had a considerate god watching over them."
Paimon tilted her head. "Huh? What did you say, Cyno?"
Cyno looked away. "Nothing."
"Aw, he's going soft," I whispered, elbowing Lumine.
She elbowed me back, harder. "Shut up."
Candace looked between us, amusement in her eyes. "Perhaps you're more compassionate than I gave you credit for. Please accept my thanks on Isak's behalf, Cyno."
And so, we had just decided to go back to Isak, the soon-to-be budget Nahida the plot's conveniently summoned to tug our heartstrings. Yep, we're using a kid for emotional bait. Classic.
"Hey, Isak!" Paimon called, floating ahead like a winged potato with purpose.
The kid turned and waved. "Oh hey! It's you guys!"
Paimon floated up to him and gave a tiny twirl in the air. "We've cleared everything up! Let's go find your grandpa!"
"Really!? Wow, thank you so much!" Isak beamed, eyes sparkling with hopeful innocence. I wanted to preserve that expression in a bubble and protect it from the harsh reality of plot devices.
Lumine leaned in with a gentle smile and ruffled his hair. "Your grandpa will be found safe and sound."
Nilou followed, crouching slightly as she added sweetly, "You don't need to worry anymore. We're here to help."
I sniffled behind my hand, pretending to dab away a tear. "My girls are so sweet... I just couldn't...!"
Paimon deadpanned. "And you're so weird."
Even Greg gave me a side-eye and flicked his tongue like he was disappointed in me. Rude.
"Yeah," Isak nodded in agreement with Nilou and Lumine, apparently ignoring my majestic crocodile tears.
Cyno, ever the brooding one, stepped forward. "Alright. Let's ask the local residents some questions first."
I struck a pose. "Alright, let's interrogate them one by one!"
Paimon squinted. "You sound like everyone here's committed a crime."
Nilou sighed and pinched my cheek gently. "We're going to ask nicely, okay? Not interrogate."
Lumine rolled her eyes. "Thanks for controlling that chaotic idiot, Nilou."
"Hey! That's rude! But also true... Still, how rude!" I crossed my arms dramatically as we approached the first villager.
Paimon floated forward like the diplomat she somehow became. "Excuse me, did you happen to see where the missing scholars went?"
A dude named Kazan rubbed his beard. "You mean the Village Keepers? Hmm, let me think... When I was eating dinner the other day, I saw one of them by the side of the road, muttering away and eating mushrooms and tree roots..."
I made a face. "Bro was literally seasoning his delusions."
Kazan continued. "They shouldn't go around eating that kind of stuff."
Paimon floated slightly closer. "Uh, okay... did you notice anything else?"
Kazan shook his head. "Hmm... No, I think that's all I have to tell you, sorry."
"That was helpful," I muttered, then whispered to Greg, "but not emotionally fulfilling."
Greg did not respond. Classic.
Next up, Cyno stepped forward like he was about to slam someone with a legal contract.
"The scholars that have gone missing. Have you seen them?"
Shani blinked at Cyno. "Whaaa! Those eyes, those fierce eyes! Y—You look like a real fighter..."
Cyno narrowed said fierce eyes. "Don't change the subject."
"R—Right! You were asking about the Vil— I mean, the mad scholars. I think it's been a few days since I last saw them? I usually go to bed pretty early..."
"Can't relate," I muttered. "I operate purely on chaos and three hours of sleep."
Shani kept going. "Even though they act strange, they've helped me before. One of them even protected my house! He was doing something with his hands on the ground..."
Lumine raised an eyebrow. "Do you remember what he was doing exactly?"
Shani scratched his head. "Not really. But it worked. House didn't collapse. That's good, right?"
Nilou nodded kindly. "Very good. Thank you for sharing that."
"Greg could probably build you a nest," I whispered to Shani. "Not a house. A nest."
Greg crawled up on my shoulder and blinked like he was offended.
Isak smiled. "Gotcha! Thank you!"
We moved to the next villager. By this point, I was losing steam. This was all very plot-advancing, yes, but where was the danger? The flair? The Greg-based mayhem?
"Sir, have you seen my grandpa recently?" Isak asked sweetly. "The one who likes to sit and space out near the village entrance..."
Jabari squinted. "Oh, if it isn't Isak! Your grandpa, huh? Hmm... It's been a while. Last time I saw him, he was spacing out by the road like usual. I even offered him some food, though my wife protested..."
"Wait, wait," I interrupted. "You defied your wife? My man, you are either brave or have no survival instincts."
Jabari laughed. "She's always complaining about my Mora too. Might explain why she's always mad at me..."
"You and me both, brother," I nodded solemnly. "Except I don't have a wife. Just two girlfriends—one's about to stab me, the other's way too cute for me."
Lumine shot me a glance while blushing a bit. "Only because you provoke me."
Nilou added with a sweet smile, "He has a talent for it."
Greg let out a slow blink. I'm pretty sure it was a sign of judgment.
"Thank you... for taking care of him," Isak said.
"It was nothing!" Jabari smiled warmly. "Once you've found him, come by my place and I'll cook something for the both of you. I've known you since you were young. You're family."
"Wow, what a nice guy..." Paimon mumbled.
Isak bowed slightly. "Okay. Thank you, sir."
Cyno suddenly tensed.
Lumine caught it immediately. "Hmm? What's wrong, Cyno? Did something happen?"
"Don't say anything for now," Cyno said, eyes narrowing.
He turned to Isak. "Stay here."
Then he gestured for us to follow. "Let's head over there. Stay quiet as you move."
Finally.
"Yes!" I whispered. "Something lore-worthy!"
And like that, we slipped into sneaky mode.
I tried to walk quietly, I really did. But then Greg decided to jump off my shoulder and scuttle ahead like a tiny ninja.
Nilou whispered behind me, "He moves better than you."
"He's trained," I muttered. "He does push-ups when I sleep."
Lumine looked at me like I was the most exhausting entity in Teyvat. Which is fair.
And so, the plot thickens. Cyno was onto something. My gut said this next part would be full of juicy exposition and possibly a little danger. Hopefully danger. It's been too calm.
But hey, the calm before the storm is still better with Nilou pinching my cheeks and Lumine sighing my name like she regrets not stabbing me earlier.
Greg flicked his tail and darted forward.
Showtime.
______________________
End of Chapter 116
Quests Completed:
*Speak with the locals about the missing scholars.
*Help Isak search for his grandfather—possibly a mad scholar, possibly Archon-adjacent.
*Analyze the odd behavior of a particular mad scholar who momentarily regained clarity.
*Allow yourself to talk to people without breaking the plot or hearts.
*Follow the trail Cyno suspects might lead to the missing scholars—or something more sinister.
*Keep Isak emotionally supported as you investigate. Prevent child from breaking down or running into danger.
* Confirm whether Nahida's consciousness is partially controlling—or calming—the mad scholars
Rewards:
*+600 Investigation XP
*Team Trust +1 (Candace, Isak, Local Villagers)
*Emotional Attachment x1
*Theories Unlocked:Possession? Divine intervention? Grandpa-tier telepathy?
* +400 Lore Theory XP
*Shigeru Brain Overclock +1 (temporary)
*Nilou's Patience: +1
*Lumine's Tolerance: Still barely hanging on
*Greg's Side-Eye Meter: MAXED OUT
*Candace's Acknowledgement (Lv. 1)
*Isak's Trust Token – (Boosts emotional stakes and side quest engagement. May cause tearjerking later.)
*3x Clay-Crusted Mushrooms (useless, possibly cursed)
*1x Star Chart Scribbled by Grandpa (Unreadable, Possibly Important Later)
*2000 Mora (stashed in a suspicious pot)
*1x Scarf with Cactus Pattern (fashionable, itchy)
*2x Desert Rat Jerky (questionable protein source)
*1x Old Akasha Log Fragment (Corrupted)