(Ereshgal POV)
I was still sitting in the same place while Kisaya and Ennari continued training.
From what Kisaya had said, Ennari was already on the right path. Now all she needed was practice, until she could truly master it.
Her silver spiritual energy, the color of Nanna, would flare and scatter before gathering again. She wasn't consistent yet, but the shape was there now.
I looked at my hand.
I still couldn't concentrate my spiritual energy, not even in one finger, much less at the tip.
It always spread across my entire hand, which ended up transforming it. It felt like the energy refused to obey me. I tried shifting it elsewhere, forcing it toward a different spot, but the result was always the same. It never stayed small. It spread, covered an entire limb.
Kisaya noticed, I was sure of that. Ennari didn't. Her eyes had been closed most of the time.
I flexed my fingers slowly. Is there no way to use it without you transforming?
If I were still breathing, I probably would've sighed.
I tried to mimic them anyway, inhaling and exhaling, going through the motions even though I didn't need the air.
It wasn't about breathing.
It was about keeping up appearances, about letting the others think I was still breathing like them.
I looked out the window and saw the sun already beginning to set.
I should go check on Darim and Arisha.
"I'm going out for a bit. I'll be right back" I said as I headed for the door.
Ennari got distracted at that exact moment and failed again. "Eresh! You made me mess it up! I almost had it!"
I laughed. "Hey, if you're messing up because of me, it means you were almost there."
Ennari puffed out her cheeks and shot me an annoyed look, lowering her hands in clear protest.
"Come on, don't give up" I said. "I'll bring you something when I get back."
She paused, then her mood shifted almost instantly. The annoyance faded, replaced by a small smile, clearly getting exactly what she wanted.
I shook my head, resigned.
Then I looked at Kisaya. "I'll be right back" I said.
She nodded slightly. "Be careful."
"Always" I replied.
As I headed toward the market, which lay along the way to Arisha's home, I couldn't help but hear Ennari ask Kisaya, "where does he go every day at this hour?"
Kisaya laughed. "When you can complete the divine trace and form your rune, I'll tell you."
I smiled, already imagining the face Ennari must've made after that answer.
Should I tell Ennari everything?
She didn't even know I could use spiritual energy yet, but she'd see it eventually.
Telling her now would mean explaining why.
And explaining why meant telling her what I'd become.
That I was no longer human.
I'd think about it later.
I pulled the hood lower as I walked. The hood still made me stand out a little, but as always, people didn't pay me much attention.
As I approached the market, I began listening.
These past few days, if I found Arisha at the market, Darim would be at home with his grandmother. If not, then they were both at the house.
As I walked, I listened to all kinds of conversations, I'd grown used to gathering information this way. That's how I'd learned about the eyes of shamash.
People didn't talk about them openly. No one raised their voice when mentioning them. Most spoke indirectly, carefully, as if saying their names out loud might bring unwanted attention. And underneath it all, there was always the same feeling.
Fear.
I kept listening.
"Have you seen the new meat?" a voice said.
"Yes… it's much paler than normal. I don't really like it. There's no flavor to it. It's like the blood's completely gone from the muscles" another replied.
"But it lasts much longer without spoiling" a third added. "Could be a good business opportunity."
I smiled.
I'd been hearing similar comments like that for days now.
The meat they were talking about, of course, came from the animals whose blood I drank every morning.
Because I drained so much blood, the meat wasn't as good. It turned pale—white, almost. No normal bleeding technique could make meat look like that.
I had already grown used to drinking their blood, but I started to wonder what would happen if I ever had to travel far. I couldn't exactly bring a herd of animals with me wherever I went.
I kept searching for Arisha, focusing on voices.
"…no good tomatoes left…"
"…the scribe says we have to bring grain to the temple…"
"…shamash, lord of the sun and justice…"
All things I'd heard before.
I kept walking.
"…I can't believe that happened in Sippar…" a woman said.
That caught my attention.
A man answered right away.
"The Eyes of Shamash will find him soon. There's nothing to worry about."
"I know, but we're talking about a child!" the woman shouted.
Something happened to a child in Sippar?
And it wasn't the eyes? That was rare. Crimes almost never happened inside the city. I didn't give it much thought and kept walking toward her home.
As I got closer, I heard her mother's voice.
"Arisha, I know you're upset, but you've done everything you could. Leave the rest to the Eyes."
Arisha's heart was pounding faster than I'd ever heard it.
"He's been missing for hours!" she yelled. "And you want me to trust the Eyes? The same ones who almost took my son a few days ago?!"
I frowned.
No.
No, no, no.
Please don't let it be—
I appeared beside them instantly.
"What happened?" I asked.
They both startled.
"Who ar—"
Arisha's eyes fell on me, and her expression shifted.
"Ereshgal! Darim was kidnapped!" Arisha interrupted her mother.
I froze.
The words didn't fit inside my head at first.
Kidnapped.
Darim.
My mind tried to reject it like a lie.
Who?
How?
When?
My throat tightened so hard it felt like it would tear, Arisha rushed toward me and grabbed my shoulders.
Her hands were shaking.
Her grip was too tight.
Her eyes were swollen, like she'd been crying for hours.
I clenched my fists tightly, closed my eyes, and forced myself to calm down.
Because if I didn't get control of myself now, I would do something reckless.
I opened my eyes.
My voice came out low, steady.
"Tell me everything" I said.