[WARNING: This chapter contains full spoilers for Clannad.]
The next afternoon, Haruki arrived at Kotone's apartment, which she had moved into after coming back from the USA.
He stood outside the door, ringing the bell. After a short pause, the door opened, and Kotone greeted him with a small smile. She was wearing a light short-sleeved blouse and jeans, her hair tied back loosely.
"Hey, come in," she said.
Haruki stepped inside, slipping off his shoes near the entrance. Kotone led him through the short hallway to the living room.
"I still haven't decorated the room fully. I haven't had much time since I've been working on the new manga," Kotone said as she led him in.
"It's more than I currently have, and I've been living in my place for over two years," Haruki said.
"Then maybe we should go house shopping for the things we need," Kotone replied.
"Maybe." He didn't really like shopping much unless it was out of necessity, he thought, as he took a seat on the sofa.
Kotone went to the kitchen to get some water. Haruki glanced around again. It was tidy and clean, just what you'd expect from a girl's place.
When she came back and handed him a glass, he said, "Thanks. So, what have you been doing lately?"
Kotone replied, "Same as you. Polishing drafts and sometimes hanging out with old college friends, though that's pretty rare. So, how's the animation going for Code Geass?"
"It's going pretty smoothly," Haruki said. "So, where's the draft?"
"I'll bring it," Kotone said, heading toward one of the rooms where she might have been drawing. She returned almost immediately with the draft in her hands.
She handed it to him. "Here's the draft."
Haruki took it and turned the front page. The title read Clannad.
The story centered on Tomoya Okazaki, a high school delinquent who had stopped caring about his life. His days were repetitive, drifting between classes and time with his friend Youhei. Everything changed when he met Nagisa Furukawa, a shy girl with fragile health who dreamed of reviving the school's theater club.
Tomoya began helping her almost on impulse. As they tried to rebuild the club, they met several girls whose stories intertwined with theirs. Fuko Ibuki, a strange girl carving starfish to celebrate her sister's wedding, later revealed to be a spirit no one could see. Kotomi Ichinose, a genius haunted by her parents' death, whose arc ended in emotional closure through rediscovered memories. Kyou and Ryou, twins with conflicting feelings toward Tomoya, brought moments of gentle tension and comedy.
The tone of the story stayed sentimental and warm, with light humor balancing its sadness. Each girl's story carried a faint touch of the supernatural, with memories, dreams, and quiet miracles blending into everyday life.
As the series continued, Tomoya and Nagisa grew closer, though her frail health cast a shadow over their bond. The final episodes focused on the drama club's revival. Despite setbacks and illness, Nagisa managed to perform on stage with Tomoya watching from the audience.
After the first few smaller arcs of the manga, the plotline reached its part-one conclusion.
As part one ended, the story hinted through the in-between chapters that Nagisa's connection to the world carried a deeper, almost supernatural meaning.
Haruki looked up from the draft. Kotone eagerly asked, "What do you think?"
Haruki said, "It's a good story, very emotional, touching."
Kotone frowned. "I don't want your praise. If I wanted to hear that, I would've gone to my friends. They'd say what I want to hear. I trust your judgment as a mangaka. You know how people would receive the story, so I want your honest opinion."
Haruki let out a long sigh. "First of all, what do you want this story to do? Do you want to serialize it longer so it can generate more money, or do you want to write a serious story?"
Kotone answered, "Of course, a serious one. I don't need to earn more money at the cost of the story."
Haruki nodded. "Then you might want to cut down some chapters. Some arcs with the girls are too long. And what are you focusing on in this story? If your focus is on two central protagonists, then you have to keep that focus. The side characters' arcs need tighter plotting."
Kotone took out her notebook and started writing down his points.
Haruki continued, "Now, about the supernatural hints in this arc. Is there a supernatural element that's going to continue? If yes, you have to introduce it earlier. We're at the midpoint, and we don't have any supernatural setup yet."
Kotone replied, "For that, you might have to read the second part," as she handed him the second draft.
Haruki thought it was a good story from a mangaka still finding her stride. It followed a fairly safe path, with themes explored by others before, so he picked up the second part. The title read Clannad: After Story.
The story picked up after Tomoya and Nagisa graduated from high school. They started living together in a small apartment, quietly building a life. The tone changed from youthful warmth to something heavier and more reflective. Tomoya began working for an electrical company, and the story focused on his slow, uncertain steps into adulthood.
Nagisa's health remained fragile, but their days together felt peaceful. They shared ordinary moments, eating dinner, walking home at dusk, talking about the future. The series treated those moments like precious fragments of time. As he kept reading, each of those moments felt filled with warmth and emotion.
When Nagisa became pregnant, the tone shifted again. Her body weakened as the pregnancy continued, but she refused to give up. The series followed Tomoya's growing fear of losing her, mixed with memories of his own father's failures.
The birth scene arrived quietly in a winter storm. Nagisa died soon after delivering their daughter, Ushio. The arc ended with Tomoya alone, holding the baby, unable to accept what had happened.
The following story fast-forwarded several years. Tomoya had cut himself off from everyone until a relative brought Ushio to see him. Their reunion was awkward, filled with distance and small moments of regret. Over time, Tomoya began to open up again, learning how to live as a father.
But when Ushio fell ill, mirroring Nagisa's sickness, the story circled back to the same sense of loss. As the supernatural element returned, Tomoya, holding Ushio in his arms as she collapsed in the snow, wished desperately to redo everything. The world rewound to the moment Nagisa first met him years ago.
This time, the story played differently. She survived childbirth, and the family lived together peacefully. It ended on a miracle, a reset that erased tragedy and gave them the happiness they couldn't reach before.
The season closed on a dreamlike image of Tomoya, Nagisa, and Ushio together under the light of spring, suggesting fate had been rewritten through love.
As he put the draft away, his eyes had grown teary just from reading the outline and dialogue. Kotone handed him a glass of water.
Haruki took a sip of water. "How did you come up with such a story? It's so beautifully heartbroken. Reading part one doesn't prepare you for what happens in part two, and part two… I think it's a masterpiece."
Kotone smirked. "Learn from the best. Now I know how to add a heartbroken story the way people least expect it."
Haruki shook his head. "Don't go spouting this nonsense, or people will start blaming me for this story when I don't have a part in it."
"So… what do you think could be improved?" Kotone asked.
"I think this is perfect. Just trimming the first part of the story, and you'll have a strong work," Haruki said, nodding.
"But there has to be something that can be improved, right?" Kotone leaned forward.
Haruki hesitated. "Actually, it comes down to personal preference. I want to ask you, why did you add the supernatural element and make a happy ending?"
"After writing the second part, I became sad, and I didn't want Tomoya to suffer. So I added the miracle so he could get a happy ending," Kotone admitted, her gaze dropping to the draft.
"It's great, but if you remove the power-fantasy element and write it straight as a mature drama, like a seinen work, it would be a serious story if you want that. But some readers might react differently, seeing this emotional heartbreak again. Like I said, it comes down to personal preference," Haruki leaned back, letting the words hang in the air.
Kotone's eyes widened as she imagined the story without the miracle. "Haruki, your nickname as the 'heroine killer' truly lives up to its reputation. This story is already emotionally heartbreaking, and you want to deepen the misery further?"
"Again, it comes down to personal preference. This might take the story to a more mature audience. Ultimately, after trimming the first season, I think the story is perfect. It's up to you to choose which path you want to write and what emotion you want to evoke from readers," Haruki shrugged, glancing at the ceiling.
"I'm not arguing for pure tragedy or emotional cruelty. What I'm suggesting is that Tomoya's hope doesn't have to come from undoing the loss, but from learning to live with it. If writing that level of emotional realism feels too harsh, the story can keep its hopeful tone by presenting an alternate world or dream sequence where he experiences what might have been. That way, the tragedy remains intact so both sides of readers can feel satisfied," he added.
"I think your idea is good. I can do that. But what do you think about the market? Will this stay with a publishing house long enough for the story to fully tell itself, or do I need to make adjustments? This is one of my biggest worries," Kotone asked.
"If you'd written this ten years ago," Haruki said, leaning forward slightly, "people would've liked it more. Back then, hopeful stories worked better. Right now, people want something closer to reality."
He paused.
"That doesn't mean it wouldn't be good. Plenty of hopeful stories still get praised. Clannad probably will too. You just have to decide which direction you want. Hopeful, or realistic."
Kotone groaned and rubbed her forehead.
"You've put me in a terrible spot," she said. "If I write it my way, I'll get thank-you letters. If I strip out the hope, I'll get razor blades in the mail."
She glanced at him.
"Actually, never mind. I can just say it was your idea. Then I don't get blamed."A grin spread across her face."You're already infamous. People will just go, 'Muzusuro-sensei is corrupting the industry with heartbreak. Lock him in a basement before he writes again.' Or, 'Someone find this man a girlfriend before he destroys us emotionally.'"
"Don't joke about that. I've cleared my name for the past four months. I haven't written any heartbreaking emotional moment, and I want to maintain that streak for a longer period of time, at least until a certain episode airs," Haruki muttered, shaking his head.
Kotone laughed, covering her mouth. "Ah, so you have written a heartbreaking scene. I knew it. It's in your blood to make people cry. Oh, poor people. Many of them are watching Code Geass excitedly, and they don't know what's about to hit them."
"Stop teasing. Think about which direction you want to take. And have you decided which publishing house you want to go with?" Haruki asked, standing up.
"I haven't thought about it. I was thinking I'd submit the story to all seven publishers and then decide the next step," Kotone replied, pushing her notebook aside.
As Haruki headed to the door, he paused. "If you have trouble choosing a publishing house, I still have some reputation, if you need help."
"I'll tell you after thinking about it and finishing the story," Kotone answered, giving him a small nod.
Shout out to xXiamfalloutXx for joining my p-atreon! your support means everything to me.
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