Sirius tensed holding his breath wondering if Harry would tell McGongall. From the look on Harry's face he knew it was only Sirius at his side and Draco's arm over his shoulder keeping the boy from taking off. If that wasn't a clear sign that Harry was scared of telling the truth Sirius would marry Snape…. On second thought he would rather get hit by a couple hundred Crutos then do that. McGongall's lips became nearly invisible and she starred at the little Gryffindor in front of her.
It was in the awkward tense silence that followed that Sirius was grateful he was a canine and could smell people's emotions somewhat. It gave him a decent idea of what was about to happen and how he in turn should react. Sirius could smell the worry and the hope mixed strangely with guilt leaking from her body. Draco's smell was the complete opposite. Protectiveness was obvious by his body language but he had the spicy smell of anger and dislike all but covering his body but mixed in with an almost sea like smell of pity and worry.
Harry on the other hand had so many smells from his emotions rolling off of him it reminded him vaguely of the one time he'd gone to a muggle fair. With so many smells mixing together it was overpowering and nearly impossible to pull apart the jumble mix to give him a better read on Harry.
"Why should I tell you if anything is wrong? Why does the truth matter at all?" Harry's voice was an icy cold whisper that made Sirius whimper. Like the hiss of a snake. He stepped back forcing the Professor to let him go. "Everyone goes off and believes what they are told not what I say. People say I can trust them but the moment I tell them the truth they don't believe me anymore." Tears began to run down Harry's face and his voice slowly rose in volume. "Every time I let someone in it turns out worse for me. Everyone but Padfoot and Draco says they care and that they want me to tell them the truth but they always lie. Actually you already have the truth. You make out the Hogwarts acceptance letters right?"
McGongall's face was pale and she looked as if someone had just murdered a roomful of kittens in front of her. But she nodded in answer to Harry's question.
"Then you already have your answer." Harry grabbed his bag and did the bravest thing Sirius had ever seen someone do at Hogwarts. He turned his back on McGongall and stalked from the room so fast that Sirius and Draco were jogging to catch up. Sirius was nearly frantic with worry. What did Harry mean people knowing only made it worse? Memories of his own childhood flashed by and Sirius had a sinking suspicion that he prayed wasn't true.
Harry had told someone the truth and they had either no believed him or had not helped him.
Draco was silent as he followed Harry towards the Grand Staircase. "Padfoot take us somewhere so we can talk." Harry murmured and Sirius whined and led the way easily outside. Since it was lunch no one was around and Sirius traced the path he'd taken a hundred times before but never in broad daylight. His paws adjust easily to the terrain and he could have run there with his eyes closed and never faltered. The place seemed to call to him and a part of him knew it was the right place. It had been their place once and now it would be used again for the next generation.
The Whomping Willow loamed ahead and he quickened his pace. Harry was staring dully ahead and Draco had slung his arm over Harry's shoulder again but the black haired first-year seemed not to notice. A quick glance around told Sirius that no one was within sight but he didn't feel comfortable changing until they were inside. Telling the boys to stay back with his eyes and a soft growl he approached. Sensing a living creature the tree began to thrash its branches trying desperately to hit his flesh and to smash him into a bloody pulp but he'd done this far too many times before for the tree to land a single blow. He wiggled and squirmed his way to the trunk until his nose was right before the knot in the trunk and he stabbed it with his muzzle. The tree froze and he looked over his shoulder nodding for Harry and Draco to hurry forward. With moments to boys had joined him and he lead them carefully into the tunnel. They didn't go far in just 50 feet or so. There wasn't time to go to the Shack before class started again but his instinct told him that this was the place to take Harry though he wasn't sure why.
"Sirius what is this place?" Draco asked as Sirius turned human. The tunnel was just tall enough that he could sit without smacking his head on the ceiling.
"It's a tunnel that only a few people alive know about. It leads to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. Harry's father and I used it as a secret hideout as kids."
There was no need to mention Moony and his furry little problem. For some reason despite all that happen it felt like telling people about Remus being a werewolf seemed like a betrayal to his once friend. He couldn't call Moony a friend after the man had not only left him to rot in prison but had clearly abandoned Harry. Not caring about him was one thing but never in a million years could Sirius forgive him for just leaving Harry like that. Even if Harry had gone to a sweet loving family Sirius would have been hard pressed to accept that Remus had just left Harry.
Draco nodded in understanding and Sirius scooted closer to Harry and lifted the boy easily onto his lap. Harry was rigid for a moment before snuggling into Sirius's arms and hiding his face in his shoulder. He didn't cry or scream or do anything more than cling to his godfather as if to soak up the love and warmth. Sirius rocked him gently stroking his hair.
What would happen to Harry if he got captured and thrown back in Azkaban? Or if he died defending the pup? Harry would go right back to the Dursleys. And Siirus knew what he had to do.
"Who did you tell?" Sirius whispered after a few moments. He knew Harry needed to get it out. But he better than anyone understood just how difficult it was to talk about. If he just knew some of what Harry had gone through and had some kind of proof that Harry had told someone else then Sirius knew he had a chance of making sure Harry never ever went back to them even if something happened to him.
But Harry only hid his face against Sirius's leather jacket and refused to look up. Sirius sighed. "Harry I understand that you don't think anyone will believe you if you tell the truth. But I will little one. I've been where you are. I'm gonna tell you something only two other people know about and one of them isn't with us anymore. When I was only a little older then you my mother got upset that I wasn't living up to the family values. I was basically doing everything that I could to go against what my family believed in. I didn't hate muggles. I despised dark magic. I was a bloody lion instead of a snake. My family is a lot like Draco's only worse. When it became obvious that I wasn't going to suddenly change my mind and start running around trying to please her my mother decided that I wasn't her son anymore. Therefore she could treat me like she would any person that displeased her. I was 12 when she took me down into the basement and told me that she hated my very existence and wished I'd never been born. " Sirius hesitated not wanting to relive the memories that had so often plagued him in Azkaban. His words died in his throat and he bowed his head unable to speak. He wanted so badly to tell Harry to forget what he said when he made the mistake of looking down at the little boy curled up in his lap. Harry was staring up at him with those eyes that were like windows into his soul. Anger at himself coursed through him. Screw his own pain. This could help Harry. This could help his little godson. And he would take pain far worse than any memory or torture could dish out to help Harry.
Steeling himself he began to speak again. "I wanted my mother to love me for me so bad back then. I just threw myself at her feet and clung to her leg begging her to just accept me for me. She just jerked away from me and said I wasn't fit to wipe her shoes on. But she was going to fix me. Every time I did something Gryffindor like or that made the family look down on me she would bring me down to the basement and use the Cruciatus Curse. It is called the torture curse. I don't think I need to go into any detail on how those trips to the basement made me feel. At first she'd only do it when I got a letter home saying I got into a fight with a group of Slytherins. Or the time I painted my room gold and red. Gryffindor colors." He managed a small sad smile at his godson who was starring at him with horror. "But eventually I started getting the Crucio when I got a bad grade or when I received letters from my blood traitor best friend. I was so scared to tell anyone. I was supposed to be this hot headed belligerent Gryffindor. Fearless and brave. Standing up for what was right. Yet I couldn't even stand up for myself against my own mother an old lady. Then your dad Harry confronted me. To this day I don't quite know how he found out but he did and he came to me and talked me into telling the Headmaster. At the time we worship the headmaster. We saw him as this beacon of hope and Light and we thought he was practically god. So with your dad with me we went to tell Headmaster and he said he believed me and would make sure I was safe from my mother. Yet he made me go back home on the summer holidays. I begged him to let me stay with James who was more than willing to take me in but he said he had no authority to let me go to another family. I was only 16 at the time and I had to return home. He swore he would keep me safe but I had barley walked through the door when my mother told me I was to take the Dark Mark and join Voldemort. When I refused she decided that she would torture me until I either gave in or I went mad from the pain. And I was really close to going insane when the door was knocked open and who else but your dad ran in Harry. He jumped between me and a Crutio and even after being hit by one he managed to duel my mother and won. He then picked me up off the ground and brought me to his parents' house and convince your grandparents to let me live with them. For a while we thought that Headmaster had really been powerless to help me but then we realized he just didn't care about me. After that I thought it was pointless to tell anyone since if the all mighty Headmaster of Hogwarts hadn't wanted to save me from abuse who would. To me my was a just a useless shame to the family that not even the man who was supposed to care about all his students and do everything in his power to protect them could lift a finger to help me. Your dad kept trying to get me to speak to someone else. Anyone other than just him but I refused. To this day I regret that choice. Wanna know why Prongslet?"
Harry nodded slowly tears shinning in his eyes.
"I had a brother. A sweet angelic little brother named Regulas. He worshiped me. But when I went off to Hogwarts my mother was able to turn him against me. Then after I ran away to live with your dad and left him behind once again with my mother. With no one knowing what she was capable off. She forced him to join the Death Eaters. He was killed doing it. To this day I think…. no I know if I had forced someone to listen to me. Made someone investigate my being abuse like your father wanted I could have gotten Reg out of that house. If I had been a braver person I would have my baby brother still with me." Sirius paused to wipe his eyes. James and Regulas. His brothers. Both dead because of him.
He grabbed Harry's chin and forced Harry to look him dead in the eye. "You see why I want you to tell me pup? I need to make sure the Dursleys can't ever hurt someone else again. They need to pay for what they did. Please Harry tell me what they did so I can make sure your cousin or someone else isn't forced the same way Regulas was. Can you be brave for me my little lion?"
Harry whimpered but other than that and clinging even tighter to Sirius's jacket he did nothing.
Draco who had been silent the whole while Sirius had been telling his story finally spoke. "Harry is the reason you don't want to tell us because you think we'll think your lying?"
Harry shook his head quickly before hiding his face from sight in Sirius's shoulder.
"Then what is it kiddo?" Sirius asked.
He mumbled something against Sirius's skin and the Animagus had to hold back a sigh. He didn't want Harry to think he was getting frustrated. He stroked Harry's messy hair and the boy looked up tears shinning in the green eyes.
"Can you speak up a little Prongslet?"
He could see how much Harry was fighting with himself on whether or not to answer and Sirius decided to take a guess. He knew Harry better then anyone and he had a good idea that he understood better. "Are you afraid that people will think less of you pup?"
Harry nodded tears slipping free and falling down his cheeks.
"Harry James Potter no one will think less of you. You had no way of defending yourself. You are just a child and should never have to worry about the adults that are suppose to be caring for hurting you. There was nothing you could have done and people know that." He could see his words were having no effect on Harry and he held back a growl. "Pup do you think less of me knowing what my mother did to me?"
"Of course not Paddy. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't do anything." Harry shook his head adamantly clinging to him all the tighter.
"Harry I was older then you and could do magic. You were just a baby when it started and you couldn't control your magic to defend yourself. I could and I was still unable to do anything. Draco doesn't think any less of you do you Drake?"
Draco shook his head. "Of course not. In fact I think more of you Harry. You clearly went through a lot and your still an amazing guy. Your sweet and kind and care so much about other people. That you have been badly treated and still act that way is amazing. I've not been really mistreated except for my father wacking me over the head a few times and a good spanking once and awhile and I'm way more of an ass then you. A lot of people would be bitter and hate the world but you don't."
Sirius had a feeling Draco was doing more use convincing Harry then he was. Harry seemed to realize that Sirius would lie to him if he thought it would comfort him and though Sirius never had he wouldn't put it past himself. Draco on the other hand had no issue with speaking his mind. Harry looked at his friend before snuggling closer to Sirius. He hesitated and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he thought Draco's words over.
"I don't think I can stand to tell it all." Harry finally murmured.
Sirius kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly resuming his rocking. "How about we make a deal pup? Every time you tell me about what happened with the Dursleys that night I'll give you an Animagus lesson. Sound good?"
Draco's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the realization his Animagus hopes rested on Harry speaking up. Sirius shot him a glare over Harry's shoulder.
Finally Harry seemed to make up his mind. "You asked before if I ever told anyone. Can I start with that?"
Sirius nodded and held Harry tightly as the boy began.
"The only time I ever told anyone was Miss Patterson my second grade teacher. Uncle Vernon had twisted my wrist so badly that it broke. When I went to school she noticed how swollen it was and asked what happen. It was the first time he'd ever done more then leave bruises or welts and I didn't know what to do. I knew if I didn't get my chores done which I couldn't with only one hand to use that I would be beat me worse so I told her that I had fallen down and landed on it. She took me to the nurse and they took me to the ER and had me in a cast and all that. Uncle Vernon was furious that I'd cost him money because of my medical bill so he took the belt to me."
Draco's hands were clenched together so hard that his nails cut bloody gorges into his palms and he looked livid. Sirius on the other hand had his tongue bleeding he was struggling so bad to not push Harry off his lap and go kill the Muggle. The abuse was bad enough but the way Harry spoke killed him. The words had no emotion no life to them. As if Harry was just repeating facts that held no meaning to him. For the first time Sirius wondered if the abuse had taken part of his precious godson's heart and soul away.
He could do nothing but hold Harry closer to him and kiss his hair as Harry continued. "But the teacher started noticing all the bruises and cuts and finally one day she asked me if my life at home was okay. I was so happy that someone had realized that something was wrong. I had been forbidden to tell anyone about my punishments but she had asked first. So I told her how Uncle Vernon would get mad when I did something freakish or didn't finish my chores. Miss Patterson believed me and she told the Headmistress and everything. The Headmistress said she'd have to investigate the claims andcalled in Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia for a meeting and they told them that I was lying. That I was somewhat unstable and that I was a danger at times to myself. They told all these stories about these things that I had done which I didn't and the Headmistress believed them. She knew I wasn't normal I guess. I didn't act like the other children she said. I was always by myself and I never talked and I was kinda off in my own world daydreaming about flying motorcycles. I" Harry glanced up the hint of a smile on his face and Sirius nearly started sobbing. Only his baby could be talking about his own abuse and be trying to make him laugh. He forced himself to smile back not wanting Harry to think he was mad and go on.
"I got so upset I made her desk catch fire. After that I got the worse thing ever. He waited until summer break so no one would notice. Then he gave me the one of the worse beating ever. Uncle Vernon dislocated my shoulder I think. I know my ribs were cracked. I couldn't see though my left eye for days it was so swollen. And he did this." Harry tugged up his shirt and Sirius leaned closer lighting his wand and illuminated Harry's skin. A scar he'd barely noticed before it was so overlapping with others that he hadn't realized what it was or the sheer magnitude. Draco's sharp intake of breath followed by a more curses then Sirius thought most 11 years should know did it no justice. Scrawled across Harry's back staring from one shoulder and going to the next a jagged scar formed the word Freak.
Sirius didn't know what to say a first in his life. He planted kisses in Harry's unruly hair while Draco scooted closer so he could wrap his arms around Harry's waist and Sirius shifted so that Draco was half on his lap too. He could see Harry responding slightly to Draco's presence burrowing against his chest.
"I'm going to kill those bastards." Sirius snarled eventually as he slowed his rocking. Draco lifted his head from where it rested on the top of Sirius' shoulder. "I'll gladly help. I think I can get my mother and father involved too. Father is always up for a game of Muggle hunting."
Harry looked up nearly smacking them both in the face he was so close.
"This happened years ago. There is nothing you can do. It's the past. I don't want you going after them and getting in trouble. Paddy you're the first person who ever told me that they loved me. The first person I can remember protecting me, not looking at me with hatred. I'd never even been hugged until you found me. I can't lose you. Draco you were the first person to like me for who I am. Paddy is my godfather and I know no matter how horrible I turned out to be he would still love me cuz he cares about family. But you chose to be my friend because you liked me. You don't get how much that means to me. I barley know you Draco but you already are like a brother to me. I can't let anything happen to you two. So don't go after the Dursleys. It's in the past and I'm safe from them now. Please."
It took every ounce of self-control that Sirius had to start hexing everything. "Harry I'm going to ruin them. But I promise you it will be legal so Draco and I don't get in trouble."
Draco growled sounding more like a hellhound then a human. "I won't go looking for them. But if we ever cross paths they are dead."
They sat in silence for a long while Sirius rocking the two boys in his lap and planting kisses in Harry's hair every few moments while Harry enjoyed being wrapped in the warm embrace of the two people he cared for the most.
Finally when Harry seemed like he had recovered from his story Sirius nudged the pups lightly. "I think we should get back to the school. Draco has already missed a class and I don't need you two getting in trouble on day one for skipping."
Harry and Draco agreed without argument and Sirius wondered if he had made the choice to leave to early but even as he hesitated his sensitive hearing heard a bell ring. "We'll be back here tonight for lessons though."
Harry managed a weak grin while Draco let out a whoop. Smiling slightly himself Sirius tuned and was about to lead the pups out of the tunnel when something caught his eye. He stuck his nose close to the ground to better exaime it and his heart stopped. Clearly impressed in the soil was tracks. They circled the area Sirius had been sitting with Harry in his lap. A sob chocked in his throat as he recognized the creature that had made them. Deer tracks.