The wind howled like a feral beast over the roaring Hogwarts Express as it cut across the British countryside, but the real beast—Inosuke Hashibira—stood triumphant atop its roof, arms flung wide to embrace the sky.
Steam belched from the engine ahead, trailing past him in ghostly plumes. His bare chest glistened in the sun, scattered with old scars and fresh scratches, and his wild black hair whipped behind him beneath the ever-present boar's head mask. His stance was wide and unshaken, feet planted like the train itself bent to his will.
"WOOOOOOOOO!!!" he howled, his voice carrying over the hills.
"I'VE TAMED THE SKY BEAST! THIS IS WHAT FREEDOM TASTES LIKE!"
Inside the train, Hermione Granger stood frozen at the open emergency hatch, both horrified and speechless.
"He's insane!" she cried, her knuckles white as she clutched the frame. "He's absolutely mad!"
She leaned out, robes flapping in the wind, trying to catch a better look at him on the roof of the train car.
"Inosuke! GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANT!" she screamed.
He didn't even look back.
Instead, he crouched low, balancing effortlessly on the speeding train as though he were scaling a cliff face. With a bestial grin beneath the boar mask, he crawled forward and then burst into a sprint across the train's top.
The Hogwarts Express surged beneath him, iron wheels shrieking over rails, and Inosuke laughed like a man possessed.
"YEEEAAAARGHH!!" he roared, leaping from one train car to the next.
Inside, students screamed. Faces pressed against windows. A few younger kids ducked beneath seats, unsure if this was an escaped magical creature or a prank gone too far.
"I told you it was real!" someone shouted from another compartment. "There really is a shirtless demon boy on the train!"
Meanwhile, Hermione ran along the corridor, darting from compartment to compartment, looking up through the windows and trying to keep pace with the reckless lunatic above.
"Inosuke!" she shrieked again, waving her wand uselessly. "You're going to fall! This isn't a joke!"
Inosuke dropped to his knees mid-sprint and slid dramatically across the roof, sparks bursting from the contact between metal and calloused skin. He came to a stop near the back car, turned toward the sky, and raised his fists.
"I AM THE BOAR RIDER OF DEATH!" he bellowed.
"THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES BOW TO MY SAVAGERY!"
Then he laughed. Loud, unrestrained, joyous. He wasn't scared. He had no fear. The idea of falling never even crossed his mind.
The wind howled again—and a bird flew by, startled, veering off-course at the sight of the half-naked boy in a boar mask standing on a magical speeding train.
Below, Hermione pulled open another window and yelled, "You absolute lunatic! You're going to get expelled before you even set foot in the castle!"
Inosuke stopped, turned, and looked directly down at her.
He jumped.
Hermione gasped.
With incredible grace, he twisted midair and slid feet-first through the window, landing on his feet just inches from her face.
"HAAAH! That was fun!"
Hermione stumbled back, heart pounding. "You jumped through a window. A moving train window. Are you insane?!"
"Yes," he said proudly.
"Only someone insane would dare ride the metal dragon. That's what makes me strong!"
She glared at him, face red, breathing hard.
He blinked behind the mask.
Then held out his hand.
"For someone who reads a lot, you scream loud."
She swatted his hand away. "You almost gave me a heart attack! You can't just go climbing on moving trains! What if you'd fallen?! What if you'd been hit by a tree branch?! What if someone saw you and thought you were some kind of creature?!"
"Then I'd fight the tree," he replied, deadpan.
"Then I'd kill the tree and wear its bark as armor."
Hermione took a deep breath, forced herself to calm down, and turned away.
The atmosphere inside the compartment settled into a weird sort of stillness—like the aftermath of a magical storm no one could explain. Hermione Granger sat stiffly in her seat, arms crossed, face flushed, and eyes firmly glued to the window, even though her attention was far from the passing landscape.
Across from her, Inosuke Hashibira sprawled on the bench like he had conquered not only the Hogwarts Express, but the concept of seating altogether. One foot was propped on the windowsill, the other dangling off the edge. His boar mask remained firmly in place, despite Hermione's repeated requests that he take it off at least once so people knew he had a face.
Silence stretched… until Hermione couldn't stand it anymore.
She reached into her satchel, muttering, "Honestly… completely mental…"
She pulled out a neatly packed snack tin—a square metal container charmed to stay fresh—and popped the lid. Inside was a tidy arrangement of cheese sandwiches, apple slices, and a few pumpkin pasties wrapped in parchment. She selected a sandwich and bit into it a little too aggressively, as though she were punishing the bread for letting Inosuke exist.
Across from her, Inosuke tilted his head at the sound.
He sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring beneath the mask.
"FOOD?" he boomed, sitting upright instantly.
Hermione froze mid-bite, her eyes narrowing. "Don't even think about it. You just nearly killed yourself for fun. You don't get a sandwich."
But Inosuke was already on the move. He leapt across the compartment with all the subtlety of a stampeding hippogriff and landed on the bench beside her, peering into her tin with the intensity of a starving predator.
Hermione yelped. "Personal space!"
"This meat-and-bread thing smells powerful," Inosuke muttered, poking the sandwich curiously with one iron rod. "Does it fight back?"
"It's a sandwich," Hermione snapped, tugging the tin out of his reach. "Not a beast. And no, you can't just take it!"
He paused. Then tilted his head again.
"…Then trade me."
"Trade you what?"
He reached into his belt sash and pulled out a large, roughly shaped pebble. It looked like it had once been part of a larger rock—probably one he smashed during training or just because it looked at him wrong.
"A rock," he said proudly.
"A powerful stone. It once crushed a snake. Worth at least two sandwiches."
Hermione stared at the rock, then at him
"…Are you trying to barter like a caveman?"
Inosuke's chest puffed out. "Yes."
Another beat of silence.
Then Hermione sighed in defeat, handed him a half sandwich, and ignore the rock.
"If I get lice from you, I swear…"
He wolfed the sandwich in two savage bites, crumbs flying, eyes wide with approval.
"MMMM! THIS IS DELICIOUS! YOU HAVE MY APROVAL GERMONE?!"
Hermione shook her head and bit into her apple slice with an exasperated crunch.
"How are you even real?"
He leaned closer, practically vibrating with energy. "Do you have more? What's that? Can I eat that too? What about that weird brown triangle thing?"
"That's a pumpkin pasty," Hermione muttered. "You know, if you actually came from the wizarding world, you'd already know all this."
"I come from the mountains," Inosuke replied. "The only pumpkin I ever met exploded when I punched it."
She covered her face with one hand. "Oh Merlin, I'm sitting next to a magical Neanderthal."
"Is that a kind of demon? Can I fight it?"
"…Please stop talking."
But despite her frustration, Hermione passed him a pasty—mostly to keep him from reaching into her tin again uninvited. He bit into it and froze.
His masked head slowly turned toward her.
"…This is sweet."
"Yes. That's what desserts are."
"Did your people create this? If so, they are not weaklings."
"I didn't bake it, if that's what you're suggesting."
Inosuke let out a long, satisfied hum, licking crumbs from his fingers.
Then, almost sheepishly, he nudged her shoulder with one knuckle.
"…You scream loud, but you make good sandwich."
Hermione blinked. It wasn't exactly gratitude. But it wasn't a headbutt either.
"…Thanks," she said hesitantly.
They lapsed into silence again, though this time it was… companionable. The air had shifted just slightly from shrill panic to quiet exhaustion. Hermione picked at her remaining food, and Inosuke leaned his head back against the window, snorting quietly through his mask.
For a moment, Hermione dared to smile.
Maybe this new school year wouldn't be so bad.
Then Inosuke stood up again.
Hermione's eyes widened. "Where are you going now?"
"I hear something."
She stiffened. "What kind of something?"
He paused. "A challenge."
And with that, he opened the compartment door and vanished into the corridor like a whirlwind of bare muscle, wild hair, and sandwich crumbs.
Hermione stared after him.
Then took a huge bite of her remaining pasty.