[Don't doubt whether you misheard—this is real.]
[I was still eating when I heard this line and literally spat my food all over the table.]
[I'm already laughing.]
[HAHAHA, I'm laughing so hard I'm convulsing. How is this so meme-worthy this time?]
[The voice acting alone is killing me.]
[I can never look at Luocha the same way again. Are miHoYo's actors just going wild now?]
[I'm genuinely impressed by miHoYo for pulling off this kind of story. Strongly recommend more of this, please.]
——
In the scene, aside from Luocha, the trio from the Express appeared on screen—though they were merely serving as narrators.
Stelle shuddered, casting a pleading glance. "Mr. Yang, I'm scared."
At that moment, a passing comment floated by: [Mr. Yang: So am I!]
"Stop messing around, I'm thinking at high speed!" March 7th began her deduction with utmost seriousness.
"Oh, right, I almost forgot about the torn title page… If he took it with him, it must've been for something important…
Next… Mr. Yang, let me see the scene map. Hmm… hmm… He definitely went through that door ahead. No way he just wandered around this tiny area for two hours."
"But Miss Jingyan also said that door is military property—always locked."
"Mr. Luocha would've found a way to open it. If he can't even pick a lock, how's he gonna smuggle a Stellaron?"
The camera then cut back to Luocha's perspective.
Once again, he spoke in March 7th's tone: "Hmph, a lock of this level thinks it can stop this young lady?"
Stelle couldn't help but complained, "I really can't immerse myself like this."
Ahem. "Force of habit. Fine, from now on, just imagine what Luocha's face would say. I'll stay out of it."
The next moment, Luocha's voice returned to something more normal: "A lock this flimsy couldn't stop a child."
[I'm at a complete loss. Luocha, a man of such refined grace, squatting in a corner picking locks. HAHAHA.]
[Yep, this Luocha fan is logging off. Goodbye, everyone.]
[HAHAHA, I literally haven't stopped laughing.]
——
According to the great detective March 7th's reasoning, this was where Luocha met with the Stellaron buyer.
After picking the lock and navigating a maze of corridors, a figure appeared ahead: "Halt. What's your business here?"
The camera slowly panned up—just as the face was about to be revealed, a voice interrupted.
"Wait." Welt Yang frowned slightly at the scene. "This has been too smooth."
March 7th scratched her head. "Smooth is bad?"
"We need to account for what Luocha did in those two hours. But even circling this place twenty times wouldn't take that long."
"True… Then his journey must've been way more perilous than I thought. Let's re-enact the scene!"
A "rewind" button appeared on screen, and Luocha's actions reversed until he was back at the door.
This time,
Several clockwork mechas stood before Luocha: "Rarrgh! You dare trespass here, tender-fleshed fool? Today is your doom!"
Luocha smiled faintly, utterly unfazed, and drew his blade:
"Insignificant vermin, how dare you raise your voice? Taste my steel!"
Welt Yang's expression went flat. "Why can the monsters talk?"
"To raise the stakes…?"
What followed was a flashy combat sequence—though perhaps excessively so.
Luocha complained: "Persistent pests. Since when did the Xianzhou Luofu have so many enemies?"
Stelle nodded vigorously. "March, explain."
"It's because… because… because…" White smoke seemed to rise from March 7th's head.
Welt Yang interjected:
"Personally, I doubt the Luofu had such a hazardous zone. A place where criminals and black-market buyers meet shouldn't have existed—at least not before the Ambrosial Arbor's resurgence."
"But there are bad guys trying to deal with Stellaron buyers here—"
"No." Stelle sighed, spreading her hands. "Isn't this a detective story? Why's there so much combat? Is this reasoning or wuxia?"
March 7th grinned. "The Fisherman is both detective and martial hero! Since it's hard to guess what trouble Luocha actually faced, let's just go with this."
Welt Yang reluctantly conceded. "…I suppose it technically makes sense."
Stelle shook her head violently. "HOW?!"
March 7th beamed. "No glaring flaws!"
"NO GLARING LOGIC EITHER!"
——
Luocha eventually reached the rendezvous point, and the scene returned to the earlier exchange:
"Halt. What's your business here?"
The camera rose to reveal Welt Yang himself, hands on his hips.
[HAHAHA, I can't take it anymore, bros, I'm dying.]
[That hip-on-hands pose, I just—]
[Welt's inner monologue: Why am I playing this role?]
[I can't. What is this content? How is it so funny?]
——
Stelle stared awkwardly. "Why is it Mr. Yang?"
March 7th declared gravely: "No, that's the Tea-Drinking Society's gatekeeper—Pu'er."
"…Isn't Pu'er a type of tea?"
"Exactly. All Tea-Drinking Society members are named after teas."
[We're really committing to this Detective Conan bit, huh.]
[Why not just call him Gin?]
[So the Tea-Drinking Society = the Black Organization? Got it.]
——
"Pu'er" (played by Welt Yang) barked at Luocha: "Hey, punk! I asked you a question! What're you here for?"
Welt Yang couldn't take it anymore—especially since it was his own likeness.
"Tell him to mind his language…"
March 7th nodded. "Oh, right, right."
Pu'er tried again: "Ahem. Good sir, might I inquire as to your purpose here?"
[HAHAHA, my head just flew off, I'm crawling around looking for it.]
[I held it together until this line. Then I lost it.]
["Civilized," but not really.]
[Hey, it's technically more polite.]
[Are they doing stand-up comedy now?]
[I'm genuinely concerned about miHoYo's actors' mental states.]
——
March 7th blinked at Welt Yang as if to say, "See? Civilized enough?"
Welt Yang could only sigh. "…Fine. Whatever."
Luocha turned to face Pu'er: "I've come to deliver an item—must hand it to your boss personally. Arrange a meeting."
"A delivery? …Ah, the boss has been expecting you. But I'll need proof of identity first."
Then, a prompt appeared:
[Interactive choices below. If unsatisfied, rewind to this point.]
After trying all five hilarious (and utterly wrong) options, viewers finally reached the correct sixth choice:
「Honest Plea」
Suddenly, Luocha dropped to his knees, voice trembling with desperation:
"PLEASE, I'm BEGGING you—just let me see your boss! Look how hard I'm begging! Have a heart, PLEASE!"
Stelle's brain short-circuited. "Is this… really how Luocha acts?"
Welt Yang's eyes sharpened. "The 'him' I remember… would never beg."
——
Only after exhausting the five joke options did the sixth, correct one unlock.
Luocha handed Pu'er the torn book page.
Pu'er inspected it: "This… is the passcode. It really is you. Wait here—I'll fetch the boss."
"Take your time."
March 7th's narration resumed: "With the passcode in hand, Pu'er went to notify his superior. Soon, Luocha saw a dignified figure approaching."
"Pu'er" (Welt Yang) bowed obsequiously: "Boss, this is the guy… with the goods you wanted."
Before the figure appeared, a "dignified" voice rang out:
"Let me inspect the merchandise first- Pa."