With a click,
A 100-inch high-definition TV screen lit up, displaying the bold title: "Sunny and Cheerful March 7th" prominently on the screen.
Accompanying it was a chibi-style cartoon portrait of March 7th, standing adorably with her hands on her hips.
"Wow! So cute!" Firefly exclaimed excitedly as she stared at the image on the screen.
Silver Wolf chewed her bubblegum a couple of times. "It is kinda nice. Makes me wanna keep one as a pet!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Hmph! Even if it's cute, this young lady does not accept being fed like that!" March 7th retorted, striking the same pose as in the video.
It was clear that, for now at least, she quite liked this expression.
"Don't say I didn't warn you, but I've heard this song before—Sunny and Cheerful Big Boy. It was pretty popular for a while, but the original lyrics were comedic. Be careful," Silver Wolf said, blowing a big bubble toward March 7th.
"Wolfie, are you feeling unbalanced? Gonna cry and throw a tantrum?"
"Kid, that's not funny! Tsk!" Silver Wolf leaned in close to March 7th's ear and whispered, "Not to burst your bubble, but take a look at Su Chen's expression. Have you ever seen him make that face before?"
March 7th took a closer look.
Huh?
He looked exactly like Stelle whenever she was about to pull some mischief—
Truly siblings, sharing the same brand of scumminess.
"This… isn't actually a cringe-worthy fan creation, is it?"
Kafka watched the youngsters before her and smiled faintly, pulling out a compact to check her makeup before reapplying a touch of lipstick.
Meanwhile, Himeko took a sip of her coffee. "My brewing skills have improved again. Time to order some more beans and experiment with new varieties."
Just then, the screen continued playing.
The video was entirely composed of footage from Season 1 and Season 2, arranged chronologically—starting from Herta Space Station.
The song began playing, using an AI-synthesized voice mimicking March 7th:
"Tonight's just an ordinary night, the Astral Express departs on time."
"Beat up the bad guys, pick up some friends, our future's looking bright and fine!"
"Roll up our sleeves and dive right in, when trouble strikes, we teleport to win!"
"Our crew's stacked with legends, let me list them now—"
"First up, the newest recruit, the Trailblazer, DPS pro."
"Second, Dan Heng loves his books, cleans up messes on the go."
"Third, Himeko rides in style, we call her 'Mom'—you know!"
At this point, everyone in the room began twitching at the corners of their mouths, their eyelids drooping uncontrollably.
Suddenly, March 7th appeared on-screen—clearly an AI face-swap—dancing energetically.
The entire group shuddered, visibly startled.
Dan Heng wiped a cold sweat from his brow. "The lyrics… so far they're still somewhat normal, right?"
Silver Wolf shook her head. "I'd say they're beyond saving at this point!"
The fan creation continued playing.
On-screen, March 7th sang and danced:
"Now that the big shots have had their say, time for the last little boss to play!"
"Sunny and cheerful March 7th, sunny and cheerful March 7th!"
"Always so warm and bright, bursting with energy and light!"
"Sunny and cheerful March 7th, sunny and cheerful March 7th!"
"Optimistic through and through, even when she screws things up— whoops! "
"Sunny and cheerful March 7th, sunny and cheerful March 7th!"
"Fights like a pro, no need to fret, roasts you straight—no regrets!"
"Sunny and cheerful March 7th, sunny and cheerful March 7th!"
"Whispering a secret true, hoping to stay here with you!"
March 7th, sitting on the sofa, let out a long sigh. "Looks like it's finally over… Heh… heh!"
Her laugh was extremely forced. "That's gotta be the end, right? Phew… phew!"
Unfortunately, fate had other plans.
The video cut to the Doomsday Beast battle scene.
She drew her bow and shouted at the beast, "Get down here already!"
Then, grinning foolishly at the camera, she started singing again:
"Sunny and cheerful March 7th, sunny and cheerful March 7th!"
"Sharp as a tack, this girl's no fool— or so she claims! "
"Hey!" March 7th lifted one foot toward the camera, forming a "V" with her fingers.
"Do you think I'm dumb as a rock?!"
[THE END!]
—
Himeko's cup had long been filled to the brim with coffee, but she hadn't noticed.
Kafka's lipstick hovered just shy of her lips, forgotten.
Welt Yang adjusted his glasses, visibly struggling to process what he'd just seen.
Everyone else had their hands clamped over their mouths.
Stelle's expression was slightly distorted. "You know, as a professional actor, I've undergone rigorous training."
"Exactly!" Silver Wolf patted March 7th's shoulder. "No matter how funny it is, we won't laugh!"
"Pfft—" Su Chen was already holding back internal injuries. "Unless we can't help it! BAHAHAHA—!"
"HAHAHAHA—!"
"HAHAHAHA—!"
Laughter instantly flooded the entire café. Even the "elders"—Himeko, Kafka, and Welt Yang—couldn't resist covering their mouths as they chuckled.
"Nooo! Stop laughing! It's all slander! A deliberate smear campaign against this young lady's intelligence!" March 7th's face burned crimson.
"Do you all really think I'm dumb as a rock?!"
At that moment, everyone nodded unconsciously.
March 7th immediately buried her face in her hands. "I wanna die of shame! This is social suicide!"
"It's okay, it's okay!" Firefly hugged her. "Head pats! Back rubs!"
Silver Wolf flashed an evil grin. "March, listen—vengeance has a name. Whoever posted this, go settle the score!"
She pointed at Su Chen, who was rolling on the floor laughing.
"Right!" March 7th channeled her humiliation into raw fury. Dropping to all fours, she stuck out her tongue and lunged at Su Chen like a starving tiger pouncing on prey.
Not long after, Su Chen's screams echoed through the room.
"OW! I'm dying! DYING!! DYIIIING!!!"
March 7th had him locked in a leg-scissor chokehold, rendering him completely immobile.
"HELP! Don't squeeze—MY SPINE'S GONNA SNAP—!"
—
Meanwhile, at the Security Bureau Chief's office.
The Chief sat in his chair, facing away from the elderly man across the desk.
"Old Huaiyan, I didn't say anything when Jing Yuan took his squad—dozens of people—to miHoYo."
"Then Feixiao went to escort Sushang's kid to report to Jing Yuan… and vanished. Still, I said nothing."
"Next, I sent Jiaoqiu and Mozhe to find Feixiao… and they dropped off the radar too. Tell me—what kind of black magic is miHoYo using?"
"Ohohohoho~ This old man wouldn't know! But Jing Yuan and Feixiao are responsible people. They must have their reasons. The Security Bureau isn't lacking talent—no need to fret."
"You sure miHoYo isn't trying to poach my people? Tsk. Huaiyan, you're the most senior here. Go scout out miHoYo for me."
"With retirement delayed, I've got a few more years left in me anyway. My granddaughter's been pestering me to take her out too."
"Fine. I'll investigate."
Just as Huaiyan was about to step out the door, the Chief spoke again.
"Take care, Huaiyan."
"But remember—stay alert."
"Hoolay… seems to be plotting something big lately."