The Konuari family was ready to visit the zoo.
Well. Almost ready.
Elena was definitely ready.
"Papa! Papa! Let's go! Let's go!" She bounced around the living room like a tiny silver-haired meteor, wings fluttering, tail wagging with excitement. "Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!"
Her energy was immense.
Yuuta watched her with a mixture of awe and exhaustion. How could something so small contain so much movement?
"Zoo, Elena," he corrected gently. "Not 'zoo zoo zoo.' Just zoo."
"ZOO ZOO ZOO!" she agreed happily.
Yuuta gave up.
In the corner, Erza sat on the floor—still refusing the couch—with Yuuta's phone in her hands. Her violet eyes moved rapidly across the screen, absorbing article after article about Earth's animals.
Don't ask how she figured out the phone, Yuuta had decided earlier. Dragons are just... blessed with understanding things. Apparently.
"Fascinating," Erza murmured, scrolling. "This 'lion' creature... it has only one head, yet it rules its domain through pure strength. Primitive, but effective."
She swiped.
"And this 'elephant'... massive. No elemental powers, no magical defenses, yet it fears almost nothing. Purely physical dominance."
Another swipe.
"The 'tiger' stalks alone. The 'wolf' hunts in packs. Each has evolved to survive without magic, without mana, without anything but flesh and instinct."
She looked up, something like respect flickering in her cold eyes.
"Your world's beasts are... impressive in their own way."
Yuuta blinked.
Did the Dragon Queen just compliment Earth?
Before he could respond, she added: "Pathetic compared to real monsters, of course. But impressive for creatures with no magical essence."
And there it is.
Yuuta turned back to his closet, searching for something decent to wear. A simple outing. A normal day. He wanted to look presentable—
Wait.
He froze.
Wait a second.
He looked at Erza.
Then at Elena.
Then back at Erza.
"Hey," he said slowly. "Do you guys have... clothes to change into?"
Erza looked up from the phone.
Elena stopped bouncing.
Silence.
"...What?" Erza's voice went cold.
"I mean," Yuuta gestured vaguely at both of them, "you've been wearing the same things since you got here. Erza, that imperial dress is beautiful, but—"
"Beautiful?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously.
"—but it's the only thing you have," Yuuta finished quickly. "And Elena's little dress—"
He looked at his daughter. She wore a cute black frock with tiny snow crystal patterns. Adorable. Also the only thing she owned.
"—she can't wear that forever."
Erza stared at him.
Her expression could have frozen magma.
"Do you think," she said icily, "that I am here on vacation with you? That I packed luggage? That I prepared for an extended stay on this miserable little planet?"
Yuuta winced. "I—no, but—"
"Did you expect me to bring multiple sets of clothing through a dimensional rift while tracking the father of my child across worlds?"
"I mean, when you put it that way—"
"I am a queen, mortal. Not a tourist."
Yuuta held up his hands defensively. "Okay, okay! I get it, Your Highness! I just—you're staying here now, right? For a year? You can't wear the same dress for a year."
Erza's eye twitched.
"You blame me for this?" Her voice rose slightly—the first crack in her icy composure. "I never intended to be here! It's your one year mercy that keeps me on this mana-less planet! If I had my way, I would have taken Elena and—"
She stopped.
Didn't finish the sentence.
Yuuta waited.
Erza looked away.
"...Tch."
Yuuta sighed.
No point in fighting, he decided. Especially not with a royal queen who could freeze me solid.
"Okay," he said calmly. "Okay. I understand. You didn't plan to stay. That's fine."
He held out his hand.
"Can I have the phone?"
Erza's eyes snapped back to him.
"Why?" Suspicion dripped from the word. "Do you need this metal box to threaten me? Since I've gone against you?" She clutched the phone slightly closer. "You humans are all the same. Kind one moment, treacherous the next."
Yuuta stared at her.
She thinks I'm going to... what? Blackmail her with a phone?
"I need to purchase clothes," he said flatly. "For you and Elena."
Erza blinked.
"...Purchase?"
"Buy. With money. On the phone. So you and Elena have something else to wear besides the same outfits for a year."
Silence.
Elena, who had been watching the exchange with wide eyes, tugged at her mother's dress.
"Mama? New clothes?"
Erza looked down at her daughter.
Then at Yuuta.
Then at the phone in her hands.
"You..." She seemed to be searching for the right word. "You would spend your resources on us?"
"You need clothes," Yuuta said simply. "I have money. It's not complicated."
"But why?" The question escaped her before she could stop it. "We are not—I am not—" She struggled. "I have done nothing but threaten you. Insult you. Almost kill you. Multiple times."
Yuuta shrugged.
"Yeah, well. You're still Elena's mother. And you're staying here. Can't have you both walking around in the same outfits for a year. People will talk."
Erza stared.
Longer this time.
That unreadable expression on her face.
Finally, without a word, she held out the phone.
Yuuta took it.
"Okay," he said, opening a shopping app. "Let's see... Elena first. What size do you think she wears?"
Elena bounced. "Papa! Papa! I want something with sparkles! "
"Sparkles. Got it."
Erza watched.
Saying nothing.
Feeling something she couldn't name.
Yuuta opened the online shopping website.
The page loaded slowly—his internet wasn't great—but eventually, the screen filled with colors and images and options. Rows upon rows of clothes for men, women, children. Dresses, shirts, pants, accessories.
He turned the phone toward Erza and Elena.
"See?" he said. "This is how we buy clothes here."
Erza stared at the screen.
Her expression was... unreadable.
"What," she said flatly, "is the point of showing me this? It's just paintings. Will they magically become real?"
Yuuta blinked.
Paintings?
"No, they're not—they're photos. Of real clothes. That exist."
"Then where are the clothes?" Erza demanded. "You show me images, not garments. This is nonsense."
Yuuta opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Sighed.
Looks like dragons need education here.
"Okay," he said patiently. "Let me explain. On this website, you can buy clothes. With money. You click on what you want, pay through the phone, and the company sends it to our home."
Erza's eyes widened.
Barely perceptible—but Yuuta caught it.
"They... send it?" she repeated slowly. "The garments travel to you? Without you leaving this room?"
"Exactly."
"And you can order anything? "
"Pretty much. Clothes, food, electronics, books—"
"Anything," Erza breathed.
For the first time since she'd arrived, the Dragon Queen looked genuinely impressed.
Yuuta felt a warm glow of satisfaction.
Finally, he thought. Something that beats dragon magic. Delivery apps.
"This is..." Erza's voice trailed off. She reached for the phone, studying the screen with renewed intensity. "This is amazing. Your world may lack magic, but this—this is its own form of sorcery."
Elena tugged at his sleeve.
"Papa! Papa! Can we buy sparkles? Can we buy all the sparkles?"
Yuuta laughed. "We'll find you something with plenty of sparkles, little one."
He scrolled through the options, showing them both. Elena gasped at every colorful dress. Erza studied each image with the focus of a military strategist examining enemy territory.
Yuuta felt... proud.
He'd actually impressed her.
The arrogant Dragon Queen, amazed by human technology.
Take that, he thought smugly. Not so primitive now, am I?
Then he remembered something important.
"Oh, by the way," he said casually, still scrolling, "what are your measurements?"
Erza looked up.
"Measurements?"
"Yeah, you know chest size, waist size, height."
Silence.
Yuuta kept scrolling.
"Elena first, I guess. She's small, so probably—"
CRACK.
Yuuta's head snapped forward.
His vision went white.
His body described a graceful arc through the air before crashing into the floor in a heap of limbs and suffering.
"OW—!" He clutched his skull. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
Erza stood over him.
Towering.
Furious.
Her fist was still raised. Frost gathered at her fingertips. Her violet eyes blazed with something between outrage and utter contempt.
"You perverted human!" Her voice could have shattered glass. "How dare you ask a queen about her personal body measurements! Do you think I am some common tavern wench to be sized up like livestock?!"
Yuuta groaned from the floor.
"I—you—that's not—"
"Did you imagine I would simply tell you such intimate details? Did you think I would allow you to know the contours of my—my—" She couldn't even finish. "DISGUSTING MORTAL!"
"YOU GOT IT WRONG!" Yuuta shouted, still clutching his head.
The room went silent.
Erza's eyes narrowed.
"Explain." The word was a blade.
Yuuta pushed himself up slowly, rubbing the growing lump on his skull.
"I need your measurements," he said through gritted teeth, "to register them. On the website. So the clothes fit you properly. Different sizes for different bodies. If I just guess, you'll end up with something too small or too big."
He pointed at the phone, still lying on the floor.
"That's how online shopping works. You need to know chest size, waist size, height—otherwise nothing fits."
Erza stared at him.
Her expression didn't change.
But something in her eyes—something almost imperceptible—flickered.
"...Oh."
"Yeah. Oh. " Yuuta rubbed his head. "I wasn't trying to be a pervert. I was trying to buy you clothes that actually fit. "
Silence stretched.
Elena, who had watched the entire exchange with wide eyes, tugged at her mother's dress again.
"Mama hit Papa," she observed.
"Yes," Erza said slowly. "I did."
"Mama shouldn't hit Papa."
Erza looked down at her daughter.
Then at Yuuta.
Still on the floor. Still rubbing his head. Still looking thoroughly abused.
For the first time since she'd arrived—
Erza looked almost... embarrassed.
"Tch."
She turned away.
"You should have explained properly from the start, mortal. This is your fault for being unclear."
Yuuta gaped.
"MY fault?! You punched me before I could—"
"Do you have a measuring tool?" she interrupted coldly. "I will provide the numbers myself. Without your... involvement. "
Yuuta sighed.
Defeated. Again.
"Yeah," he muttered. "I have a measuring tape. In the bathroom."
"Get it."
He got it.
Because arguing with a Dragon Queen was apparently a hobby he couldn't afford.
---
To be continued...