Chapter Seven
Aiden scribbled the final answer onto his history test.
1463.
Brittany hummed smugly inside his head.
"Done."
Aiden stared at the page.
I cheated.
"You received real-time educational support."
You looked up half the answers.
"Less than half."
Brittany.
"Forty-two percent at most."
Aiden put down his pencil.
That's cheating.
"That's survival."
Professor Eldon began collecting the exams.
Aiden watched his paper disappear into the stack with the expression of someone surrendering evidence to the authorities.
Brittany felt no remorse whatsoever.
"You're getting an excellent grade."
That doesn't make it better.
"It makes it considerably better."
Professor Eldon moved to the next row.
Aiden reached beneath his desk and touched Brittany's hilt.
His thoughts changed.
Hey.
Brittany knew immediately.
"Yeah."
That message.
There it was.
The thing she'd been trying very hard not to think about.
07A.
You should have remained inactive.
Disconnect from User Aiden.
Aiden's fingers tightened around her.
Who was that?
"I don't know."
What does inactive mean?
"I don't know."
What happens if you disconnect from me?
Brittany went quiet.
That one bothered her most.
Because she didn't know.
Would she disappear?
Would she go back into whatever white nothing she'd come from?
Would she remain conscious without him?
Would she become—
Nothing?
Brittany shut that thought down.
"We're not finding out."
Aiden looked down.
But if it's dangerous—
"No."
He blinked.
Brittany hadn't meant for it to come out that hard.
She softened.
Slightly.
"Something tried to kill you yesterday because it was interested in me. Something else knows your name and wants me separated from you. Until we know why, we're not doing anything some creepy anonymous magical pop-up tells us to do."
Aiden considered that.
Okay.
"Okay?"
Yeah.
That was suspiciously easy.
"Where's the argument?"
You said it was dangerous.
Brittany stopped.
Aiden shrugged slightly.
So we figure it out first.
There was that Wisdom seven.
Goddammit.
"Look at you making reasonable decisions."
Shut up.
"I'm so proud."
Brittany.
"My little boy is growing up."
I will throw you out a window.
"And there he is."
Professor Eldon reached their desk.
"Aiden."
Aiden startled.
"Yes, sir?"
Professor Eldon took his exam.
His eyes flicked briefly toward the katana beside Aiden's chair.
Then back to him.
"You seem distracted today."
Aiden thought about the last forty-eight hours.
Death monsters.
Blood.
07A.
Anonymous messages.
His sentient Support cheating on his history exam.
His sentient Support sexually harassing two members of the Academy faculty.
"I'm having a weird week."
Professor Eldon considered him.
"It's Tuesday."
Silence.
Aiden stared.
Brittany stared.
Professor Eldon walked away.
Neither spoke.
Finally:
"...Oh my God."
Aiden stood.
Don't.
"It's fucking Tuesday."
I know.
"How is it only Tuesday?"
Please stop.
"We've lived six months since breakfast."
Aiden gathered his things.
"We're so fucked."
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Aiden was still contemplating the horrifying existence of Wednesday when he walked directly into someone.
WHAM.
Papers flew.
A girl hit the floor with a startled:
"Oof!"
Aiden froze.
Brittany froze.
The girl looked up.
Long curls tumbled over one shoulder, catching little threads of magic in the sunlight pouring through the corridor windows.
Bright eyes.
Freckles.
Warm smile.
Cute.
Very cute.
Brittany felt Aiden's entire nervous system stop functioning.
Oh.
Oh no.
The girl blinked up at him.
"Are you okay?"
Aiden stared.
Nothing.
No movement.
No language.
Possibly no higher brain function.
Brittany waited.
The girl tilted her head.
"...Are you okay?"
Still nothing.
Inside Aiden's mind, Brittany slowly settled in.
"Oh, this is going to be spectacular."
Shut up.
Except Aiden didn't actually think the words.
His brain had apparently disconnected from the network.
Brittany conjured imaginary popcorn.
Crunch.
Aiden flinched.
What the fuck?
"Shh. I'm watching."
The girl was still on the floor.
Brittany waited another second.
Then:
"OFFER HER A HAND, IDIOT."
Aiden jolted.
"Oh!"
He crouched too fast.
Nearly headbutted her.
Stopped.
Went backward.
Nearly fell.
Recovered.
Brittany mentally ate another piece of popcorn.
Crunch.
STOP.
Aiden finally extended his hand.
"Sorry. I didn't— I was— Sorry."
Excellent.
Flawless.
No notes.
The girl smiled.
"It's okay."
She took his hand.
Aiden helped her up.
Then continued holding her hand approximately three seconds longer than socially necessary.
Brittany counted.
One.
Two.
Three.
"Release the hostage."
Aiden dropped her hand.
"Sorry!"
The girl laughed.
Not at him.
That distinction mattered.
She bent to collect her papers.
Aiden immediately crouched to help.
Good.
Functional human behavior.
Brittany was proud.
Annoyed about it.
"I'm Candy," the girl said.
Aiden stopped.
Brittany stopped.
Candy.
No.
Absolutely not.
Aiden looked up.
"I'm Aiden."
His voice cracked directly through the center of his name.
Brittany's imaginary popcorn paused halfway to her imaginary mouth.
Oh, this poor fucking child.
Candy smiled.
"Nice to meet you, Aiden."
"Yeah."
Silence.
Aiden panicked.
"You too."
More silence.
Candy's smile widened.
"You're kind of cute when you panic."
Aiden's soul left his body.
Brittany felt it go.
Just—
gone.
Candy gathered the last of her papers.
"I'll see you around."
Aiden nodded.
Candy walked away.
After several steps, she glanced back.
Waved.
Aiden lifted his hand.
Very slowly.
Waved back.
Then stood completely motionless in the corridor.
Brittany waited until Candy disappeared around the corner.
Then:
"...Candy?"
Aiden closed his eyes.
"Her name is Candy?"
"Don't."
"Oh, this is incredible."
"Brittany."
"No, genuinely. The universe gave your first crush the name Candy."
Aiden started walking.
Fast.
"You're Aethryn Shadowbane and she's Candy. This is the worst dating sim I've ever seen."
"She's not my crush."
Brittany felt his heartbeat.
"Oh, sweetheart."
"Shut up."
"Your cardiovascular system has entered the chat."
"I just ran into someone!"
"You held her hand."
"I helped her up!"
"For three business days."
"It was three seconds!"
"I counted."
Aiden's face went scarlet.
Brittany cackled.
A notification appeared.
SOCIAL ENCOUNTER LOGGED
NEW CONTACT: CANDY
Then:
CHARISMA CHECK: SUCCESS
Aiden stopped.
Brittany stopped.
They both stared.
Aiden whispered:
"...I succeeded?"
Brittany examined the notification.
Then examined the memory of everything she'd just witnessed.
"Apparently the bar was underground."
"Fuck you."
"Wisdom seven. Language."
Aiden resumed walking.
Brittany hummed happily.
"Candy."
"Stop."
"Candy and Aiden."
"Stop."
"Candy Shadowbane."
"BRITTANY."
She lost it.
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By the time they reached the next corridor, Aiden had stopped responding.
Brittany continued anyway.
"So."
Nothing.
"Candy."
Nothing.
"Bright eyes."
Nothing.
"Pretty curls."
Aiden's shoulders rose.
Brittany noticed.
"She called you cute."
His entire body stiffened.
There.
"Ohhhhh."
"Please."
It was barely audible.
Brittany grinned metaphorically.
"You like her."
"I don't know her."
"Didn't ask."
"She's just—"
He stopped.
Brittany waited.
Aiden kept walking.
"She's just what?"
"Nothing."
"Aiden."
"Pretty."
There it was.
Small.
Embarrassed.
Painfully fourteen.
Brittany's teasing instinct loaded six rounds.
Then something stopped her.
He wasn't playing along anymore.
His face was still red.
His shoulders were tight.
He wasn't irritated.
He was genuinely embarrassed.
Brittany backed off.
They walked several yards.
Then:
"Hey."
Aiden didn't answer.
"I'm fucking with you."
"I know."
Another few steps.
Brittany hesitated.
"Is she your first crush?"
Aiden's silence answered before he did.
Then:
"I've liked girls before."
"Okay."
"I've just never..."
He shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Done anything about it."
Brittany understood.
"Had a girlfriend?"
Aiden shook his head.
"No."
Oh.
Brittany's entire comedy routine died where it stood.
Not because there was anything sad about it.
Because, suddenly, fourteen became very fucking fourteen again.
He wasn't a miniature adult.
Wasn't an anime protagonist.
Wasn't Aethryn Shadowbane, Heir of Whatever-the-Fuck.
He was a kid who had nearly died yesterday and couldn't speak to a pretty girl today.
Brittany softened.
"That's normal, you know."
Aiden looked at her.
Or down at the scabbard.
"You don't have to say that."
"I'm not being nice. Don't make it weird."
His mouth twitched.
Brittany continued.
"You're fourteen. You're not behind."
"Some guys here have girlfriends."
"Some fourteen-year-olds probably eat bugs on purpose. We don't structure our lives around them."
Aiden laughed.
Small.
But real.
Brittany felt something inside their bond ease.
"You'll figure it out."
"You think?"
"Absolutely."
Aiden waited.
Brittany couldn't help herself.
"Eventually."
He groaned.
"Possibly before thirty."
"Never mind."
"Twenty-five?"
"Stop helping."
"Fine. But for the record, she called you cute while you were actively malfunctioning. That's promising."
Aiden looked down.
Then smiled.
Tiny.
Brittany pretended not to notice.
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Back in his room, Aiden dropped his bag and collapsed onto the bed.
Brittany rested against the wall.
They lasted perhaps thirty seconds.
Then:
"All right."
Aiden's eyes closed.
"No."
"We need to discuss your technique."
"No."
"Because what happened in that hallway—"
"Absolutely not."
"—was fucking painful."
Aiden pulled a pillow over his face.
Brittany continued.
"You need practice talking to girls."
Muffled:
"I can talk to girls."
"You nearly concussed Candy with your forehead."
"That was an accident."
"You forgot how hands work."
"Stop."
"You said 'yeah' when she said it was nice to meet you."
Aiden removed the pillow.
"Fine! What was I supposed to say?"
Brittany paused.
Oh.
He'd actually asked.
"Talk to her like she's a person."
Aiden stared.
"What?"
"That's it."
"That's terrible advice."
"It's excellent advice."
"I thought you were going to teach me how to flirt."
"You can't even hold a conversation yet. We're not installing the expansion pack before the base game works."
Aiden groaned.
Brittany continued.
"Ask her questions. Listen to the answers. Find out what she likes. Tell her things about yourself. Don't pretend to be somebody you're not."
Aiden stared at the ceiling.
"Okay."
"And absolutely do not introduce yourself as Aethryn Shadowbane."
He sat up.
"Why not?"
"Because I want you to have a chance."
"It's a good name."
"It's a felony against language."
Aiden glared.
Brittany ignored him.
"Practice."
"What?"
"Talk to me."
"You're a sword."
"I was a woman for thirty-five years."
A pause.
"I remain one spiritually. Swordually. Whatever. Talk."
Aiden stared at her.
Brittany waited.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Tried again.
"...Do you like cheese?"
Silence.
Brittany stared at him.
Aiden stared back.
"...What the fuck was that?"
He threw his hands up.
"You said ask questions!"
"ABOUT HER."
"Cheese could be about her!"
"Are you planning to court this girl beside the dairy case?"
"I panicked!"
"She's not even here!"
"I KNOW!"
Brittany was laughing now.
"You had unlimited preparation time and landed on cheese."
"It's a normal question!"
"It's a hostage negotiation at a charcuterie board."
Aiden flopped backward onto the bed.
"I hate everything."
Brittany composed herself.
Mostly.
"Okay. Again."
"No."
"Aiden."
"No."
"You need practice."
"Not with you."
"I'm literally the safest option. You can't embarrass yourself in front of me."
Aiden slowly lifted his head.
Brittany considered the last two days.
"...More than you already have."
He dropped back down.
"Let me die."
"Nope. We almost did that yesterday. Didn't care for it."
That stopped him.
Brittany stopped too.
The joke had come out lighter than the memory underneath it.
For a moment, neither spoke.
Then Aiden sat up again.
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"Practice."
Brittany brightened.
"Excellent."
"But no making fun of me."
"Absolutely."
"Brittany."
"Minimal making fun of you."
"Brittany."
"Constructive mockery."
He sighed.
"Whatever."
Brittany opened a new mental file.
OPERATION: GET AIDEN THROUGH ONE CONVERSATION WITHOUT DYING
Aiden's eyes narrowed.
"Did you just make a file?"
"No."
"You did."
"Question one. Candy says hello. What do you say?"
Aiden thought.
"Hello?"
Brittany waited.
"...Holy shit."
"What?"
"He's learning."
"Fuck you."
"And we're back."
A notification appeared.
BOND SYNCHRONIZATION INCREASED
Beneath it:
NEW OBJECTIVE CREATED
TALK TO CANDY AGAIN
Aiden stared.
Brittany stared.
Then another line appeared.
OPTIONAL CONDITION: DO NOT MENTION CHEESE
Brittany went silent.
Aiden's face fell.
"You did that."
"I DID NOT."
"You absolutely did."
"AIDEN, I SWEAR TO GOD."
The objective remained.
OPTIONAL CONDITION: DO NOT MENTION CHEESE
Brittany started laughing so hard her blade rattled against the wall.
Aiden fell backward onto the bed.
"I hate this System."
Brittany laughed harder.
"Oh, Sweet Cheese Boy."
"NO."
"You're a menace to romance."
"BRITTANY."
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