Chapter 90 – Even If She Never Turns Around
POV: Jaeheon Kang
The next morning, Paris was quiet.
The city bloomed golden outside his window—river lights flickering, rooftops glistening from last night's rain—but his world remained still.
He hadn't slept.
He never did, when it came to her.
Anastasia hadn't messaged.
Didn't ask if the photoshoot ended.
Didn't care if someone tried to touch him, claim him, ruin him.
But still…
He loved her.
He always would.
He picked up his phone, opened his private folder.
The one with voice memos that would never be released. Songs never heard. Lyrics never sung aloud.
"If you never look back at me… I'll still stand where you left me."
His voice was raw in the recording. Unpolished. It cracked at the last word.
"If you burn me to ash, I'll still ask if you're cold."
He had written that the night he saw her walking away from him. Not angrily. Not dramatically.
Just… disinterested.
Unbothered.
And yet he still loved her.
FLASHBACK – A Week Ago
"You're late," she said, not even glancing up from her tablet.
He had run through three floors, drenched from rain, to arrive at her private residence on time.
"I came as soon as rehearsal ended."
"I don't like excuses."
"I'm not making one."
She finally looked at him. Her voice cold. Distant.
"You exist to obey, Jaeheon. Don't confuse that with meaning something."
He smiled softly. Quietly.
"Yes, Anastasia."
He didn't need her kindness. Didn't crave her affection.
He just wanted to exist beside her.
Even if it meant being her shadow.
Even if it meant being invisible.
NOW – BACK TO PRESENT
Jaeheon buttoned his shirt slowly. Every movement was precise, composed. He didn't allow his pain to show, not even in his breath.
His phone buzzed once.
A notification from his agency.
Not her.
Never her.
He walked out of the hotel room like nothing happened. Greeted the staff politely. Smiled at fans. Took perfect photos.
He would perform like the world was watching—
Because it was.
But the only person he ever wanted to see him… never looked.
Later that evening, he wrote another song.
He titled it:
"Even If You Kill Me, I'd Still Come Back to You"
He wrote the lyrics like a prayer.
Like a vow.
Lyrics (Unreleased):
Even if you never touch me—
I'll dream of your hands.
Even if you curse me—
I'll kneel and call it blessing.
Even if you bury me—
I'll bloom beneath your feet.
Even if you never say my name—
I'll die remembering yours.
He finished the melody, humming the last line quietly.
There were tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall.
Because he had no right to cry.
Not for her.
Not when he'd already decided—
Even if she treated him like a slave.
Even if she never cared.
Even if she used him.
He would still love her.
Forever.