Da Vinci's Workshop
Da Vinci POV
It's been a few days since the self proclaimed AI, Best Kohai-BB, from another world showed up.
Since that day, she has been working around the clock to ensure that the Ai hadn't done anything harmful to Chaldea's systems.
As it turns out, the rogue AI, despite threatening Chaldea's master's life, had actually helped them.
When she went to look into the code, she actually found that their security systems had been fixed and optimized.
Everything ran smoother now.
In fact, their existing programs run so smoothly, that it even helped them locate the next Singularity much easier.
Yet for all these improvements and benefits to their mission, it hurt her pride as an inventor that someone had fixed what she had been struggling to do for over a month.
Unwilling to trust an unknown third party to accept their fixes at face value, she took it upon herself to scrutinize every line of code that AI made or edited.
But the longer she read the code, the more frustrated she got. It wasn't the code's cleanliness alone that bothered her, no, that wasn't it.
What really aggravated her were the inline comments in the code itself.
// BB: I noticed you encrypted the systems, but they were too simple.
// It was the equivalent of someone who left the backdoor open in a rough neighborhood.
//My word, this place is a mess. Don't worry Da Vinci-chan, I cleaned up your work for you.
// BB: Oh wow, I love your variable and function names, they are so cute and so utterly predictable!
BB was treating her, HER, the great and genius inventor Leonardo Da Vinci like a dumb child!!
The AI went in depth about what she changed, why she changed it, and how she did it. But each and every one of her comments always made a jab at her intelligence!!!
// BB: Ah, this for loop is pointless, so I removed it.
// BB: You missed a comma here. That's why the code wasn't working and crashed, just like your flying machines.
// BB: Your coding skills need more work Da Vinci-chan. It's okay though, it's only to be expected of someone from outside the Moon Cell, especially from a servant that was born before the 21st century.
She clenched her teeth at the memory.
While she wasn't done analyzing the code in its entirety, she could only take so many punches to her ego before she had to take a break.
So to remain productive, she decided to go over Gudao-kun's file. Just thinking about him melted all her stress away.
Due to this breach in security, she hasn't had the time to tutor his cute pupil at all.
So she left him some homework.
To study Rome in the library in preparation for the next singularity. Thankfully, he wasn't completely ignorant about the Roman Empire, although most of what he knows is just latin phrases, the Roman gods, and just things that the average person would know.
He's very good at note taking, but she noticed that if he's not personally connected to the history, he cannot grasp it well and needs more effort to ensure it sticks.
Perhaps if he had summoned a Roman servant, it would have helped his learning process more.
She grabbed her cup of coffee from nearby and took a sip, her eyes never leaving her laptop screen.
She smiled at the warmness of the drink as her body converted it to magical energy.
Honestly, she can't believe she's gotten so fond of him. And it all began because he wasn't disgusted by her decision to become a woman on summoning.
It was refreshing, and it made her heart skip a beat at his sweet treatment of her, and his interest in her perfect body.
It made her want to spoil him, and she would have already done so if he didn't have such a loyal ninja protecting him.
Still, she felt bad that she's taken an interest in him when sweet Mash is also clearly infatuated with the Last Master of Chaldea.
That poor girl has been through so much, and will only face greater obstacles moving forward, especially as more female servants join their cause. Perhaps for her, she'd be willing to share if Gudao-kun is up for it, since she is equally a pervert as she is.
Mash thinks she's being sneaky, but she has caught the demi servant sneak peeks at Gudao when he's together with his other feminine servants when she thinks no one is looking.
It's as sad as it is cute.
Anyways, after reviewing everything in his file, she can easily conclude that Gudao-kun is a surprisingly large treasure chest full of mysteries.
For one, despite being a normal human, the boy has actually encountered the moonlit world years before Chaldea recruited him.
She actually found out his ex-girlfriend, the infamous Xochi-chan or Xochitl Garcia, belonged to a family of curanderos, or Faith Healers, that could trace its long lineage back to the Age of Gods.
However, the Clock Tower dismisses curanderos, mostly due to the fact that the latter don't really care to use their magecraft to reach the Root and instead prefer to use their knowledge to heal people through prayer and using herbal remedies.
Although many utilize mundane or mystically weak methods to heal people in conjunction with catholic prayers to avoid exposing magecraft to the world.
All the real stuff that cannot be easily explained away, they do keep for themselves.
Which explains why the scientifically oriented Gudao-kun was so ignorant about his ex-girlfriend's life.
As if that wasn't enough of a mindblow, thanks to the efforts of the other world scientists, the mysterious unknown energy Chaldea's scans found inside Gudao-kun was confirmed to be this so-called infinity energy, the life force that acts as Od for pokemon in the other world.
It's a very miniscule amount, barely anything really, but it's definitely gotten bigger since Fuyuki.
Part of her wants to believe this speck is the anchor that ties him and his chat across worlds, but it's just a theory at this point.
It's overshadowed by the blessings on him.
The readings told her the blessing originated from the Shinto Pantheon, which is unsurprising considering his family came from Japan.
The background checks she pulled up also revealed that Gudao-kun's aunt was a former miko for a major shrine in Japan.
Based on that info, she had a feeling on which god, or rather goddess, decided to bless him.
If it was, she hopes that it will remain a blessing and not turn into a curse.
✦✧✦
Chaldea Security Organization, 2015
Mash POV
The wind whistled outside Chaldea's walls as always. Even when it was warm inside the halls, a chill managed to sneak up on her, and it wasn't from the snowstorm outside.
Chiyome was sending death glares at Kiyohime, who was hugging Senpai's right arm like she was his lover. Due to this position, Chiyome could not get close to Senpai and was forced to walk behind them. The glare was so intense that she ended up being caught in its line of sight whenever Chiyome's eyes flicked toward her.
Apparently Kiyohime tried to sneak into senpai's room last night…. again.
This has become a common routine the last few days, where Kiyohime tries to sneak up on and sleep with Senpai, only to get stopped by Chiyome… his bedwarmer.
She's honestly disappointed in Chiyome for abusing Senpai's guilt to sleep with him every single night, but thankfully, as far as she can tell, they haven't crossed the line… yet.
Anyway, last night proved to be the final straw for Chiyome, because rather than simply knocking out the berserker and leaving her tied up, it ended with the petite girl getting swallowed and digested by one of Chiyome's snakes.
Senpai wasn't happy to find out Chiyome murdered Kiyohime.
Chiyome apologized, although half heartedly, but defended herself by saying that it was her duty to protect Senpai. Unfortunately for Chiyome, Ritsuka Senpai was not amused and told her that if she keeps killing Kiyohime, he's going to ask someone else to guard him.
That was why when he resummoned Kiyohime, Chiyome could only watch and seethe as the dragon girl immediately glomped onto Senpai's arm and refused to let go.
Senpai looked like he was forcing himself to go with it out of guilt. Even when chat kept spamming the hypno emote the whole time.
Senpai was not that kind of person and she quickly got them all to stop when she put her foot down, although a few stragglers still post it when they think she or the mods weren't looking.
But despite her best efforts, it was impossible to stop the more Kiyohime revealed about herself.
Specifically… her age.
[Best_Kohai-BB: Poor Gudao Senpai, doing his best to appease a 12 year old dragon berserker who is after his booty. :hypno emote: ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: @ Burning_Jealousy is HOW MANY YEARS OLD?!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy: Yes, I died at 12 years old. Even now that is how old I am. Is that a problem? ]
[ :skull emoji: ] x 413
[ :hypno emote: ] x 361
[LusamineAether: … you poor thing. ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: the problem is you're too young to be trying to romance Gudao!! ]
[Burning_Jealousy: Technically, I am older than him by a greater magnitude of years, but that is irrelevant, age is irrelevant. He is Anchin, and I am his beloved Kiyohime, HIS WIFE. ]
[Bruh, Gudao doesn't like little girls, he prefers older women and women close to his age. And even if he didn't, how do you plan on being with him if the world deems your romance as immoral? ]
[Burning_Jealousy: If the world seeks to part us, then the world shall burn, by my flames.~ ]
[Heart0f6old: Guys, stop trying to reason with a berserker servant, logic won't mean shit to her. ]
As much as she and many others disliked BB, she has quickly assimilated into chat like she was always a part of it.
Unlike the day she arrived, she had already mellowed out.
As it turns out, this Hakunon person had become aware of BB's misdoings immediately after the event and had ordered BB to apologize the next day.
BB told them that her Hakunon Senpai forbade her from hacking Chaldea. The AI also told them that she's gonna stick to tormenting Chat instead, much to Iono's dismay.
Suddenly, a door ahead of them slides open.
A tall figure walks out from inside.
Ah, it's Siegfried, what is he doing there?
Oh right, this was the room that Kriemhild had chosen to live in after she was summoned. It would make sense that a married couple would live in the same space.
"Morning Siegfried," Senpai greeted the hero, a greeting she and the others mimicked, which caused the man to turn and smile at them.
"Morning Master, Mash, Koyohime, and Chiyome. Are you all headed for breakfast as well?" he asked, and Senpai nodded.
"Yep, we just came back from a quick resummon."
"I see." Siegfried looked like he wanted to ask but was too polite to bring up the topic.
"I'm headed in the same direction, would you mind if I joined you?"
She and Senpai agreed, because unlike other servants, Siegfried was rather elusive and hard to find sometimes outside chat.
Even Carmilla was easier to find than Siegfried, and she was actively avoiding everyone.
With all parties in agreement, Siegfried joined their entourage towards the cafeteria… except, it became apparent something was wrong.
Siegfried was walking with a noticeable limp.
"Siegfried-san, are you alright?" Kiyohime asked the dragon slayer with concern.
"Hm? I'm fine, why do you ask?" Siegfried was confused about what she meant.
"Um, you're walking with a limp, are you hurt?" It was concerning to see the hero in such a state after seeing his battered state in the last singularity.
Hearing her clarification he said, "ah right. Sorry to worry you guys, I'm okay. My hips are just a bit sore, but not to worry, I just need to walk it off."
"Is Kriemhild abusing you?" Senpai asked with concern, to which Siegfried just nervously laughed.
"In a way… the good kind though. She has been rather stressed as of late due to her new job, so she has been especially rough with me at night, and it's been hard for my body to keep up."
The howling wind outside filled the void of silence that followed that statement.
"G-Goodness Siegfried, truth. It's beautiful to see a loving couple happily reunited! I truly hope the day comes when Anchin and I can achieve such bliss!" Kiyohime said with genuine happiness, but even her face was red.
Senpai winced, "I see. Then I take it back, congrats dude."
Senpai, like Kiyohime, immediately understood what Siegfried was getting at, it was as if he was on the same wavelength as Siegfried.
A theory proven true by Siegfried as he gave Senpai a dopey smile.
""Y-yeah… Thanks."
Huh? What's going on? Why is everyone acting that way towards Siegfried?
She looked at chat for clarification.
[Damn, Sumanai is such a lucky man! Dude is getting laid by a baddie every night, all night until his hips start hurting!
He truly is a man among men. ]
…
…oh, so that's why they all reacted the way they did.
Her head felt warm as her blood rushed to her face.
Siegfried and Kriemhild… um… she guessed it made sense… they are a married couple after all… um… it should be fine if they go hard on each other.
"Harder Guda, Harder!!"
"Quiet down!! Someone will hear!!"
"Stop being such a worrywart, no one will hear us!! Just keep going!!"
Her head felt like it was swimming in a scalding ocean.
She had been trying to ignore and suppress that intrusive thought for days, with minimal success.
The servant dreams she had about Senpai's ex-girlfriend, Xochitl, were a mixed bag.
There were plenty of romantic moments the two shared, but so far a good portion of them were… concerning.
To think that all this time, Senpai's ex was a magus, and an extremely shameless one too!!
She corrupted Senpai with her lewdness!!
To use bounded fields in such a manner… pervert!!!
…Senpai hasn't peeked at her in a long time. She kind of wishes he would do it more, like that time they first met, but he hasn't.
Maybe she can use those bounded fields too…
She felt a soft paw pad hit her cheek.
She turned to the aggressor and saw Fou, staring at her with a deadpan expression.
"Fou." She didn't know why, but it felt like Fou knew what she was thinking about and was disappointed in her.
Had she been corrupted by Senpai's ex too?!!
"Mash, are you okay?" her Senpai asked, which caught her completely off guard.
"Y-Yes, I'm fine!" she might have responded a bit too fast. She really hoped he didn't notice.
"Okay?" Thankfully he didn't, but the stare from Chiyome was very noticeable.
Suddenly, the smell of eggs, potatoes, and coffee touched her nostrils.
They had arrived at the cafeteria.
The pleasant smell intensified as the automatic doors to the cafeteria slid open.
They all stepped into the room, and unlike the start of their journey, they were greeted by a lively ambiance.
A few of Chaldea's staff had started to warm up to the summoned servants, specifically, the more heroic ones.
Jalter, Carmilla, and Vlad were all missing from the room, likely knowing their presence was unwelcome.
There was a long line of staff members next to the coffee machine, many of them dead tired up until they took the first sip of coffee.
Caster Cu was playing cards with a few of the older Chaldean staff, and by the grin on his face and the grimace in the others, he was winning.
Cu immediately spotted them and grinned.
"Read em and weep boys." He put his cards down, and everyone groaned but accepted their loss.
Cu took his winnings and stuffed them inside his robe, were those pastries?
Alcremie puffs? She hadn't seen those before, but the cute mascots on the packaging made her guess that it was a dairy based food pokemon of sorts, like Senpai's favorite pokemon.
Cu walked over toward them, and slapped Senpai on the back.
"I'm proud of you kid." he said in a manner akin to what a father would say to his son.
Senpai tilted his head, "for what?"
Cu smirked and waggled his eyebrows, "You know why."
She sent a deadpan look at Caster, who just rudely ignored her.
Senpai gulped, "…oh. Um… please don't tell?"
"What do you take me for? A snitch? Nah, I'll keep it to myself. So don't sweat it kid, whatever embarrassing things we see happen in a master/servant dream, stay in the master/servant dream. "
"Like Vegas?"
"Exactly like Vegas!"
A hissing noise rang out, which caused Senpai to flinch and the explosion that followed elicited a "wah!!" from nearby.
Everyone turned to Astolfo, who just randomly screamed out of nowhere.
He had game mode open with minecraft playing on the holographic screen.
He winced, "sorry, a creeper snuck up on me from behind after I found a large vein of diamonds. I'm fine though, and so are all my diamonds!!"
[Lucky motherfucker. He's been finding diamond vein after diamond vein since he started playing!! He already has a fucking full set of diamond armor!! ]
[Bunny_Aachan: A++ luck baby!! ]
"Well anyway, I'm going to get breakfast, I'm starving, see you later Cu!" Senpai said as he swiftly made his escape.
They all headed to the serving line, and to their surprise, Gareth was sitting at a table nearby, glaring at the kitchen.
"Morning Gareth, is something the matter?" She asked her fellow knight, and her frown was quickly replaced by a bright smile.
"Mornin'!!" Then, her expression changed back into a glare which she aimed at Archer, who had come out of the kitchen to hand a staff member their food.
"I'm just waiting."
"For what?"
Gareth pointed a finger at Emiya's back, which they could see when peeking into the kitchen.
"For HIM to finish his shift so he can finally answer my questions. I refuse to work for him until he does so."
Ah, she remembered that Gareth was flabbergasted when Emiya projected Excalibur in Orleans.
It made sense that she would not help him in the kitchen until he "spills the beans' so to speak. And it seems that Emiya had somehow dragged the explanation for days now, and Gareth had finally run out of patience.
"Well, just go easy on him Gareth, without him doing what he did, we would all be dead." Senpai's blunt statement caused Gareth to purse her lips.
"I know."
"Are you guys just going to stand there, obstructing the line, or are you actually here to get your food?" Emiya's voice was no nonsense as always.
"Ah, sorry Emiya, yes we're here to eat." Senpai went to the line, and she followed after.
The others were waiting for them to get their food first. Despite there being plenty of food stores thanks to Chat's donations, as servants, everyone still prioritized Senpai's health and nutrition above theirs.
Speaking of which, Emiya gave Senpai his food, and immediately, Senpai looked at what he was given with a raised brow.
"Um… Emiya… what is this?"
"It's your breakfast."
"I can see that but… where's the bacon?"
Looking over at his plate, Senpai was right, there was no bacon in sight. Only eggs, a muffin, and a very hearty bowl of oatmeal, which was beautifully topped with fruits.
Emiya crossed his arms, "too much bacon will clog your arteries."
Senpai looked offended, "but Emiya, I get plenty of exercise on missions. I need my bacon in the morning!"
"Exercise is important, yes, and you do plenty, but I insist that you eat better. Your health is paramount to humanity's survival. Your bacon intake is quite excessive.
Besides, at this rate, the bacon you will be eating will come directly from a pokemon. You don't want that now do you?"
Ah, Emiya is using emotional guilt tactics to bully Senpai into eating better.
"Fine… I'll have the oatmeal, but tomorrow I will have bacon!"
"Sure, sure, tomorrow I'll open a bag of those LeChonk bacon packages, just for you Master."
LeChonk. Heh, what a funny name… then she remembered it was likely a cute pokemon and her mood fell.
Senpai looked like he wanted to say something, but he sighed and accepted his meal.
✦✧✦
Later in the day, Ritsuka's Room
Ritsuka POV
After a full day of training, studying, and gaming, night had arrived.
Gareth and Emiya had both asked him to be present during their discussion, but with the caveat that chat wasn't allowed to snoop.
Emiya might have been chill with the camera following him around at times, but he, rightfully, refused to expose his life like some drama for the public to see.
Gareth agreed and so, he had Astolfo babysit chat again, as always. Many of the gossips were annoyed they weren't going to get a show, but a greater majority were excited to finally get a chance to play his world's version of minecraft.
It was also decided that this private conversation would take place in a neutral location, i.e. his room.
"Alright, you finally have me to yourself," Emiya said as he leaned against a wall, his arms crossed and his eyes closed like he was some cool character from an anime.
He lazily opened one eye at Gareth, who was sitting down on the ground in a criss-cross applesauce pose.
"Ask away."
Gareth wasted no time and straight up asked: "what exactly is your real relation to My King? Were you actually his lover? And how are you able to project Excalibur, even if it is a flawed one?"
Emiya sighed, "to put it simply your King, Artoria Pendragon was my Servant during the 5th Holy Grail War of my timeline."
He wasn't expecting that, and based on Gareth's widened eyes, she wasn't either.
"But… how can it be possible for you to be My King's Master if you were also summoned in that same grail war?"
"Quite simple really, my unique circumstances allowed me to manifest in Fuyuki during the grail war, at the same time I was alive."
Huh, what a twist, he wasn't expecting it to be possible for someone to go back in time and be in the same place as their younger selves.
"Oh… I guess it makes sense why you would fall for My King, master/servant pairs of the opposite gender usually have a high chance of becoming couples." Gareth accepted the explanation, although she looked like she had more questions but she looked like she was restricting herself.
"Indeed. And quite frankly, I am really grateful she answered my call, even though it was a fluke. I wouldn't have survived if I had summoned someone else, or god forbid, I somehow managed to have multiple women servants pining for me like Master over there." Emiya tilted his head in his direction.
Oi.
"True. I honestly pity Master too. It doesn't look easy to juggle all those relationships at once." Gareth nodded, completely oblivious to the obvious tangent Emiya threw at her to distract her from asking relevant questions.
Et tu Gareth?
"You two aren't here to talk about me, you're here to talk about Emiya. So please do not gossip about me when I am still in the same room."
"Oh, right. Sorry Master." Gareth apologized.
She cleared her throat and asked her next question, "you said you summoned My King based on a fluke, what did you mean by that?"
"It's better I show you." Emiya stuck his hands out, palms facing the ceiling. His magical circuits glowed and a bright, yellow light manifested over his hands.
Gareth's eyes widened as the mystical force took the shape of a beautiful, golden sheath decorated with blue enamel.
"This is the catalyst that I accidentally used to call upon your king, and based on the stupefied look on your face, you know what this is don't you?"
Gareth looked like she'd bitten into a lemon, "of course you can project Avalon as well. Why am I not surprised?"
She hesitantly took her eyes off the sheath and stared into his soul, "you're not supposed to have been able to replicate this, and not so perfectly either…"
"I agree, normally, replicating such a precious artifact would be impossible, but I can do it simply due to the fact that it's been inside my body for years. Which means it's easier for me to replicate it since my body and soul have had time to slowly comprehend it. Although I cannot use its full capabilities without Artoria present."
"How did My King's sheath end up inside you for so many years?"
"My former guardian participated in the war before mine and procured it via his contract with the Einzberns.
He also had your king as a servant, although based on what she has told me, their relationship was strenuous at best."
Gareth grew pensive at the new information. She remained silent for a while, until finally she asked her next question.
"What about your appearance?"
Emiya just chuckled, "I already answered all your questions, and the new ones you came up after. And yet you still demand more. You really are a shameless gossip aren't you, Gareth?."
Gareth looks ashamed, "I apologize. I overstepped. I was merely curious why you took this drastically different appearance and why you would show such animosity towards it."
Emiya, in a rather rare showcase of openness, decided to answer her question anyway.
"If you're that curious, the reason I am familliar with this appearance is because this used to be what I looked like when I contracted Artoria, before I started overusing my magical circuits and gained my darker complexion and white hair."
Woah, so people get a tan and white hair when they overuse their circuits?
Emiya clenched his fists, "I failed to win my Grail War. Saber died fighting to protect me, while I could only cower.
That is one of the reasons I despise this form… is because it reminds me of my naive self. The naive kid who boldly threw himself at danger, claiming to want to become a hero of justice, and who made stupid mistakes that ended up costing more than what he could afford to pay."
Now his bedtime story in Orleans made more sense… poor Emiya.
He wants to ask what kind of mistakes he made, but it would probably be an insensitive question to ask.
Gareth looked sheepish at the sudden intense emotions from Emiya. However, she seemed to also be staring at him in a new light.
The archer servant, realizing he was letting his bitterness get the better of him, calmed himself.
"I haven't been able to forgive myself for failing Artoria like I did. And despite my own reservations on my past decisions, you can rest assured that she still holds a very special place in my heart and when the day comes and she gets summoned to Chaldea, I will continue to treat her well."
He crossed his arms, "there, that's all you're getting out of me. No more questions."
"Fine. I guess that it's good enough. Sorry for pushing you Emiya, but My King's treasures are precious to me and the other members of the Round Table. Such forgeries are something we cannot ignore. Your loyalty and remorse toward her is admirable, and my respect for you has grown."
Gareth stood up from her sitting position, "I'll rejoin the kitchen starting tomorrow."
"Glad to hear it." He turned to him, "sorry for dragging you into awkward conversation Master."
He waved off his concern, "it's all good that's why I am here. And don't worry, I won't push you to reveal anything you don't want to."
Archer smiled, "I appreciate it, Master."
"By the way, how is Kriemhild doing at her new job?"
Unlike the last few questions Gareth asked, Emiya was actually eager to answer this one.
"Well, she has thus far only broken a few dishes, but she is a quick learner. Plus there's no harm now that we have unlimited dish replacements, courtesy of Master's mapo tofu summons."
"You're enjoying seeing her suffer aren't you?" He asked with a dissaproving look, to which Emiya responded with a sly smirk.
"Immensely."
✦✧✦
POKEMON WORLD FORUMS
⟢ CHALDEA GENERAL THREAD
B-wearHugzzz: I think it's time we all sat down and had a chat about Gudao's mental state.
Willingly going into a death zone is one thing… but giving someone permission with an absolute command to KILL YOU to gain their trust?
While I agree it makes sense to build rapport, this could have been achieved with time and patience.
This kind of lack of self preservation isn't normal.
What do you guys think?
► Gudao has always been kind of a chill dude, even before meeting Chaldea. It's just that, we never knew the depths of his chillness until the world went to shit.
► Yeah, the dude basically went through a life and death situation in Chaldea's explosion incident and instead of thinking: "Oh shit I need to go evacuate and save myself"
Instead he thought: "Oh no! The cute girl who talked to me was in the room that just exploded!! I better go risk my life to save her!!"
It's insane.
► That was for the best anyway, Gudao has demonstrated the ability to adapt to high stress situations and thrive in them.
► Gudao constantly puts his life at risk despite the fact that he is a normal, squishy human. He's like a toddler at times, just randomly darting into traffic with zero thought, while his poor servants are left in a panic attack when they see the car speeding towards their master.
► I still can't believe the man actually forgave Jalter and let her join the cause. The same goes for that Carmilla woman too.
And all because they have pretty faces smh.
► CorviPeasant[Original Poster]: This thread is filled with nothing but emotional idiots and whiners. Jalter and Carmilla wanted to help and Gudao allowed it, so let it go.
I can guarantee a lot of you would have died in Fuyuki if you were in Gudao's shoes, even with a pokemon companion at your side.
The man Rizzuka knows what he's doing, and he needs as much help as he can get, so if evil servants want to help fight against a common enemy, LET THEM.
⟢ ORLEANS THREAD
SmearsPaint (Verified Peak Artist):
You guys have no idea how hard it was to draw this.
Timelapse attached to the bottom, alongside the video of my livestream where I drew it.
*Drawing depicting the events of Orleans singularity.
Wyverns are shown flying everywhere.
Chibi Mash and Jeanne are carrying Gudao and Madame Romee on piggyback while running away from Jeanne Alter and her dragons.
Chibi Marie, Mozart, and Kiyohime are having teatime, while Saint Martha is shown holding a terrified Elizabeth Bathory by the tail.
A chibi Carmilla is laughing at seeing her younger self get bullied while Vlad is side-eyeing her with contempt.
Chibi Kriemhild and Siegfried are sitting in a tree, kissing, while Siegfried has his wife's balmung sticking out of his back.
Chibi Napoleon, Lancelot, and a headless Sanson are playing rock paper scissors to see who fights the party first.
Chibi Chevalier D'Eon is shown getting kicked in the balls by Marie's crystal horse.
Chibi Saint Georgios is hiding behind some bushes, urging a chibi Sasaki and Elaine to "just kiss already."
Meanwhile, a chibi Gilles and Ryuunosuke are shown laughing at the chaos that they have unleashed in the form of a massive tentacle monster.
Lastly, a giant hyperrealistic Emiya is shown cooly T-posing in the background, a dark red sky and gears representing his reality marble are clearly present.
Follow me on @ Smearspaint on Twitter.
► No worries boss, fantastic work as always.
► Man, so much happened over the course of that singularity, and to think it started out kind of slow.
► Poor Madame Romee, she didn't deserve such a horrifying end. I hope the next singularity is less horrific.
► At least the anti dragon hate slowed down after Gilles went full squidward.
► Ugh, please stop making spongebob references, you're ruining them with all those bad vibes!
► Gotta say, I love your commitment to summarizing the horrors of Gudao's journey for us scaredy cats. I love Gudao's work and I am sympathetic to his cause, but I subbed to him for the cool animal videos and otherworld cultural exchange, not to see a poor woman get turned inside out.
► I only really keep up with his Chaldea Streams live. Then I take a break during his gritty singularity streams and only tune in to the really cool moments his channel posts on Utube.
► Pathetic. I only watch his singularity streams live, because those are the best part of Gudao stream!!
Recordings aren't the same, I have to watch the raw, unfiltered reality to actually appreciate the cool stuff like Noble Phantasm deployments.
You guys are just a bunch of cowards lol.
✦✧✦
U-TUBE, IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO YOU.
A couple meets under the moonlight on a beach.
They first greet each other by name, Artemis and Orion, then they engage in a passionate kiss.
The two hold hands and sit down on the beach to stargaze.
"Hey. Why won't you join me in eternity?" The goddess Artemis asked.
"Because it'd be boring." Orion replied bluntly.
Artemisdidn't seem happy to hear that, and tried to convince Orion to become a god to avoid death.
Orion chuckled, "I like the idea of ascending to the stars. But no, becoming a god isn't for me."
"...Even though we could love each other for all of time?"
"The day will come when we go our separate ways, and our love comes to an end."
A sad smile reached his lips, "It'll be sad when that happens, but it's all part of being human."
"Hmm. I don't get it."
"Well, of course you don't. I mean no offense. It's just… you're a god. You have a different way of seeing the world. There's nothing wrong with that. But humans see. I see the world differently. I think if I became a god, I'd regret it eventually."
"But don't the prospects of eternal life and beauty sound appealing? If you stay human, your body and soul will both grow old and feeble one day."
"Yeah, I might come to regret that too… But, no, I'm pretty sure I'm good. Especially since, one day, the fact that I'm part of humanity might come to be pretty important. Though that's just a hunch."
"So you're throwing away your chance at eternity on a hunch? What a horrible human you are. But...that might be for the best. "
….
"Ah sister, just the person I was looking for."
"Apollo, what do you want?"
"Oh my dear Artemis, can't a brother not just come to see his beautiful sister?"
Artemis was giving him a deadpan look.
"Fine, you got me. I actually just wanted to make a bet with you."
"What kind of bet?"
Apollo smirked and pointed at a distant object in the ocean, "I bet you can't hit that distant thing with one of your arrows."
Artemis frowned, then scoffed, "I bet you I can. Just watch."
She took out a needlessly complex mechanical bow, and aimed it at the speck.
An arrow of pure light manifested as she pulled the bowstring back and aimed it at the speck.
It whirred like a machine, charging its attack like a futuristic weapon before she unleashed it.
The arrow sank into the speck, and exploded, killing it instantly.
Artemis looked at Apollo and smirked, "See? I told you so."
Apollo's smile turned devious, "wow, you sure showed me sister."
…
Later, a bawling Artemis is shown holding the bloodied corpse of her lover in her arms.
The corpse of Orion.
She was begging forgiveness for her deed, for she did not know it was him.
She attempted to revive him, but nothing she did worked.
The screen switches to Apollo staring at the former couple with a cruel smirk on his face.
….
The final cutaway shows Orion's glowing corpse ascending to the sky, which then scattered and turned into a constellation that hung over the night sky.
On the beach below, Artemis gazes to the heavens with tears in her eyes. ||
Star Crossed Lovers
By Gudao
Comments:
⇢ PachiRitsu: Great. Now I'm fucking depressed.
⇢ Wait… Orion, as in Orion's belt Orion?!! Is this him?!! Ho-crap the guy looks so cool!! Shame he got sniped by his hot girlfriend though.
⇢ Be-My-Luvdisk: The story Gudao told us about these two was already sad when it was just written text and a few pictures. If this is actually them… then that just makes the story even more fucked up.
I'm more pissed now than sad. Seriously, Apollo is such a creepy, incestuous piece of shit. If Gudao ever meets the guy somehow, I hope he gets someone to shoot an arrow at his back, see how he likes it.
⇢ CorviPeasant: Is this a preview of the next singularity? Are we going to meet actual gods soon?!! That is so cool!!
⤷ Arc I hope so. While the legends on our side are still not confirmed, the legends on his side do exist, so we'll be able to actually meet and interact with them.
⇢ That goddess is so pretty.
⇢ Surf'sUp_Dudes: That Orion guy has a lot of muscles!! I wonder what his workout routine was like.
⇢ Dude, the guy should have taken her offer. If a smoking hot goddess asked me to stay with her forever, I would not have hesitated.
⤷ TheWanderingKing: Death comes for us all. Humans are not meant to live forever. That man, Orion, rejected the offer of immortality, even if it meant to depart from the person he loves…. He was a far stronger man than I.
---
|| Inside a dark cave, a treasure chest lies unopened.
Suddenly it moves, like someone is trapped inside.
It shakes and shakes until finally it stops.
A muffled stomach growl came from inside the treasure chest.
Suddenly, the lid goes flying, revealing a cartoonish animal paw.
Then a catgirl emerges from inside.
"Nyaa!! Free at last!!"
She looks around and sees no one.
A louder stomach growl echoes in the cave.
"Yay! Feeding time!"
She opens her mouth and bites into the wooden chest.
She rips the oak wood as if it were celery.
The hardened cellulose stood no match against the catgirl's teeth and claws.
She reached metal.
One would expect that the metal would be enough to stop her, but it didn't.
The catgirl bit into the iron and shattered it like it was made of hard candy.
The catgirl continues to devour her inanimate prey, uncaring for the savagery she was displaying.
Suddenly, she stopped eating.
Her ears stood on end and she sharply turned to face the camera.
She stared into the camera for a while, unmoving.
Then, an unnerving smile spread across her features.
For a brief second, the cave disappeared, replaced by a warm, japanese style room that has a massive, beautiful woman laying on her side while smirking at the screen.
The woman has furry ears, and 9 glowing tails.
The screen returns to normal, to the same cave. And the catgirl resumes her treasure chest feeding.
|| Tamamo Cat Eats a Treasure box Mukbang
6M Views
By Gudao (Subscribe)
100K Comments:
⇢ Damn, look at her go. She really is a pica queen.
⇢ Unintended ASMR, eh, I'll take it. Plus the view is nice.
⇢ She ate that iron with such enthusiasm it reminded me of my Aron.
⇢ JoltTrick: A servant? Someone we haven't met yet.
⇢ Are we ignoring the fact that this woman is an honest to legends CATGIRL?!!
⤷ Ecruteak_Gal: Looks more like a fox girl to me, though she could be a Grimer for all we know since she seems to enjoy eating garbage.
⇢ Giraffigy: Um… did anyone else notice that scary lady that showed up at the end?
| yeah.. I saw it too. It scared the crap out of me.
PachiRitsu: I tried to pause to get a better look after it played, but after I tried, all that I saw was the image of a sun.
⤷ Spooky. Gudao's stream and channel continue to be filled with so many mysteries. That's why I love it here!!
⇢ PerfectlySaneHex: I hope Gudao himself does ASMR streams soon. I miss hearing his soft voice.
✦✧✦
Interlude: Ritsuka Picks up a Flower
Ritsuka POV
He slowed the car to a stop in front of an ornate gate.
He lowered the automatic window and the warm, woody scent of outside filled his aunt's car and reached out to press the button on the intercom.
He waited for the security guard to answer, luckily, it wasn't for long.
"Garcia residence. State your business."
"It's me-" he never got a chance to finish his sentence, as the voice immediately recognized him.
"Oh! Ritsuka! You're a bit early, but I'll let you in."
"Thanks," The gate doors swung open and allowed him passage.
He drove into the property.
As soon as he passed the threshold of the gate, it felt as if the entire property itself welcomed him.
It was always a strange, inexplicable feeling he got whenever he visited his girlfriend's home.
After driving for a good 10 minutes, he arrived at his destination, a large, two story adobe-style mansion, which was surrounded by a much larger adobe wall.
No matter how many times he comes here, he's always left in awe of the sight.
Yet, despite how magical it looked, he knew the truth. For as gorgeous as this place was, his world was just mundane, not at all like the pokemon world, which he just recently discovered was real.
No magical creatures would pop up here, since magic doesn't exist in his world as far as he knew.
Taking his mind out of his negative thoughts, he parked his aunt's car nearby and turned off the ignition.
He got out of the car and walked toward the gate door.
He knocked on the door, and waited patiently for someone to answer.
The door opened, and a young, muscular six foot tall white latin american answered.
The heavily tattooed young man smiled brightly at him.
"Yo, Rits-Cracker, wasap Cuñado?"
"Sup Flaco." he gave his "brother-in-law" a slap fist bump in greeting.
Flaco then noticed his ride and whistled.
"Damn dude, that's a sweet car. Is it yours or…?"
"My aunt's. She gave me permission to use it this summer."
And he was extremely grateful for it too. Shame he could only borrow it, but his parents were adamant that he rejected any donations, "handouts," from his aunt.
"Damn, it's nice… Hey, is your Aunt still married to that rich guy?"
Oh boy, he knows where this question is going.
"No. That's why she's letting me borrow this car, because she bought a brand new car from the money she got from her second divorce."
Flaco smiled at the news, "sweet."
He narrowed his eyes, "dude, as your friend, I'd advise you not to do it."
"What, jealous I might become your Tio?" his friend teased.
"No, I know my aunt, she would eat you and your bank account alive. Trust me, you two dating is a bad idea. I really don't want the fallout to strain the relationship between our families."
He loved his aunt, but man she was a whirlwind of troubles, and woe be to any man who isn't hurricane proof, which is most if not all of them.
"Ah… well, if you say so. Anyway, are you here for my sister?" Flaco asked.
"Yup, it's the start of our last summer together" He said.
"Oh right… Man, I can't believe it's already been three years since you two have been dating. That's actually impressive, most high school couples never last that long. It's honestly a shame life got in the way, you two could have easily become high school sweethearts, " Flaco said melancholically.
Yes, it was a shame. He and Xochi really loved each other, and they didn't want to part, but the circumstances wouldn't allow it.
And to think, this relationship all started because he had to become an official tutor in a remedial class.
"Yeah, but there's no helping it." He got accepted into a university in a different city, and he had to move. It was too far, even by car, for Xochi to visit him.
Plus, she was returning to Mexico by the end of the year anyway, to study abroad.
So they decided to spend one last summer together before they split on good terms.
"Well, come on in. She's in the bathroom taking a fat dump, so it's gonna be a minute."
He sent an unamused look at Flaco, "...sure."
He was welcomed into the walled section of their home.
The large, green space was as beautiful as ever.
There were tons of medicinal herbs and colorful flowers planted all around the property.
On the right was a rose garden that his girlfriend's mom took great care to maintain.
On the left was their reclusive garden, a place where he had never been to.
He followed Flaco through the path that led to Flaco's house, but suddenly, he made a left turn.
"The front door is busted, we'll have to go through the side."
"Oh uh… okay."
He followed Flaco to the left fork in the path, which led them to the garden he had never been to before.
"Is it alright for me to come through there?" He asked, unsure about coming through this area
Flaco scoffed, "come on bro, even if you two are separating by the end of the summer, you're practically family. Just come in, but stick close to me and don't touch the plants, a lot of them can do very nasty things to the human body."
As soon as he passed through the gate, the warmth of the exterior vanished, and a chill ran up his spine. He didn't know why, but it felt like he was being watched.
He didn't want to fall behind and walked as close to Flaco as possible.
As they walked through the garden, he took a moment to look at the surrounding plants.
This section of the property was a long stretch of land filled with lots of raised flower beds. He balked at what he saw planted on those flowerbeds.
Nightshades… a lot of nightshades. Highly toxic too, given how he recognized a few Atropa bella-donnas in a particularly large flower bed.
A bunch of herbal medicinal plants, thankfully, they are far away from tlowdangerous plants like…. oh god, is that a Dendrocnide moroides?!!
What is a gympie-gympie doing this far North?!! Better yet, it's a tropical plant, how is it growing so well here?!
… It's better if he doesn't ask.
Flaco wasn't kidding, a lot of these plants will fuck him up.
He decided to get as close to the center of the path as he could.
After walking in silence for a while, they finally made it to a door.
He let out a sigh of relief as he entered the house, and the warmth returned.
Flaco kept walking, and like a duckling, he followed him towards the living room.
The living room itself was overwhelmingly decorated as always. It was chock full of pictures of Xochi and Flaco's family, as well as a lot of religious iconography.
It was the same room as always, except for one new addition.
A frail old woman he didn't recognize sitting in a wheelchair.
She was facing them.
He blinked in surprise, "who's this?"
"Ah, right. You haven't met her yet. This is Mama Quetzalli, me and Xóchi's Great, Great Grandma, from our mom's side of the family. She came to visit and is gonna stay with us for a while."
"Woah that's so cool, that's a lot of greats."
He went up and gave the old woman a smile, and spoke in his slightly broken Spanish, "It's nice to meet you ma'am. I'm Ritsuka Fujimaru, your great, great-granddaughter's boyfriend."
She seemed to light up at his introduction.
"Ah, hello young man. You must be my Xōchitl's boyfriend. I've been expecting you." The old woman said.
"Excuse me? I can't understand you." He said in Spanish and the woman just kept smiling.
"Its always a beautiful thing to see my children find love. Please make yourself comfortable and sit."
"Uh… what did she say?" He asked.
Flaco shrugged, "I'm a No Sabo bro, I can barely speak spanish, so nahuatl is beyond me. Only Mom and Xochi can understand her. Anyways, sorry to leave you here alone with her, but, my teammates are gonna be pissed at me for being AFK for too long, so yeah… keep her company for me will ya?"
Flaco left before he had a chance to protest, and was left alone with Mama Quetzalli.
The old wall clock ticks and the sound of the tv playing an old school Mexican movie made the encounter even more awkward.
Suddenly, Mama Quetzalli shifted in her seat, "come here boy."
He had no idea what she was saying but her "come here" gesture was enough for him to understand.
So he got up from the sofa and walked towards the old woman.
He stopped in front of her.
She offered her hand, and when he put his on top of hers, she flipped his palm upwards.
She murmured something in what he now knew was the nahuatl language for a while.
Concerningly, the longer she went, the more worried she looked.
Finally, she raised her head, and opened her eyes.
They were intense.
Eyes that shone with a vibrant hue that took his breath away.
"You poor child. You're going to endure so much suffering… "
"Um… sorry?"
"There's not much I can do for you, and it seems you already have some blessings on your soul, but it wouldn't hurt to give you a few more."
She formed a cross with her hand and began to mutter some prayers in her native language while moving her hand around in a cross pattern.
It was a bit awkward just standing there, waiting for her to finish her prayers. For a moment, it felt like she had actually done something to him, but he assumed it was just some kind of placebo effect.
Eventually her murmuring came to an end and she gave him a warm smile.
"Oh. Ritsuka, you're here." the voice of his girlfriend said.
He took his hand away from the old woman to look at her great great granddaughter.
Wow, she was gorgeous.
She was wearing an all white sundress with a suspiciously short skirt length and matching open toed shoes.
Atop her pretty head is a white sunhat with matching ribbons.
He still has no idea how she manages to dye her dark hair such a vivid light blue without fading but despite that, she still manages to rock any outfit she wears.
"Oh hey Xochi, did your brother not let you know?" he wasn't dumb enough to ask her if she was finished taking her dump.
She frowned, "no, he didn't. Did he ditch you to go play his stupid game?"
"Probably, I don't really mind though. Your great, great grandma has been keeping me company."
"I can see that." She eyed her grandma, "what did you tell him ancestor?"
Oh wow, she really sounds different than when speaking English or Spanish.
It's actually kind of cute.
Mama Quetzalli smiled, "I told him not to worry about your strict father and gave him my blessings to go all out with you and give me a great, great, great grandchild."
Xochi's face turned a deep shade of red, then she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the busted door, "w-we're going out on our date, I will be back late Ancestor!!"
The old woman had her eyes closed, but he could tell they were rolling under her eyelids.
"Yes, I don't need my mystic eyes to see that. Have fun you two!"
He looked back, and spoke in Spanish "it was nice meeting you Doña Quetzalli!"
Xochi smashed the door open and dragged him outside, and the first day of their unforgettable summer began.
______________________________________________________
AN: Was originally gonna have Rits's GF be nameless, but you guys's speculation into who it was sparked my muse's interest, and it hit me hard.
For the record, his Ex-GF is a Tenochtitlan-Face, not the actual Tenochtitlan.
Xochitl means Flower in Nahuatl, Nahuatl is a language used by the Aztecs and Toltec civilizations.
Her name is pronounced "So-Cheel", but So-chee is how her nickname is pronounced.
GG Granny Quetzalli is inspired by Don Pedrito Jaramillo, a supposed clairvoyant healer from the 1800s who became very well respected by the hispanic community.
Her name means "precious feather' or 'large brilliant tail feather,' in Nahuatl.
It may seem random to include an OC into an interlude. But trust me, she's gonna be a recurring reference that will be important to the plot.
She will also be featured in future omakes, but that will have to wait until I have the time to write them.
Be sure to leave a comment if you liked and/or leave a like.
Next week Gudao and Mash will FINALLY rayshift into Septem, so I'll see you then.