"I hereby announce," Tsunade declared with a wave of her hand, "that Menma will officially become the Director of Konoha's Scientific Research Department!"
No one objected. After all, the idea had been his, and the invention plan benefitted everyone.
Menma: (￣□￣;)!! "Don't!"
He quickly protested, "Lady Hokage, I'm really sorry, but I'll be helping Itachi with his wedding soon, so I won't have time."
He piled on more excuses: "Besides that, I still need to train and take care of Naruto. My parents entrusted me with that responsibility before they died. Naruto's still only twelve! I'm also in the Anbu, and between work, managing the store, and occasional deliveries to the Nami Country branch, I really don't have time!"
Tsunade: "…" Busy? Those are all shadow clones doing the work!
She rolled her eyes and turned toward Yamanaka Inoichi. "Inoichi, I hear your daughter's around twelve too. Would you consider marrying her to Menma?"
Inoichi blinked. "Excuse me—what?"
Menma: (￣□￣;)!!
Then Tsunade looked at Hiashi Hyuga. "Hiashi, I hear your daughter Hinata is close to Naruto. You also have another daughter, right? The younger one—she's lovely! Would you consider marrying her to Menma?"
Hiashi smiled politely. "Of course, no problem."
Tsunade silently gave him a thumbs-up.
Menma nearly choked on air. Hanabi?! She's seven! Isn't that straight-up cradle snatching?!
"I'll do it! I'll be the director of the Scientific Research Department!" he shouted instantly. Anything to stop Tsunade's matchmaking spree.
Tsunade's lips curled into a satisfied grin. "See? Wasn't that easy?"
She then looked back to Inoichi and Hiashi. "Let's forget what I just said. Menma's only twelve, after all."
"Yes, Lady Hokage," both replied.
Menma: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ "Dumped just like that?!"
"But really," Tsunade said slyly, "a talented young man like Menma won't stay single for long. When he does fall in love, I wonder who the lucky girl will be?"
Instantly, every clan leader with a daughter perked up and began eyeing Menma with hungry ambition.
He felt like a rabbit surrounded by wolves.
Grandma, I'm not a piece of meat!
Menma quickly said, "I'm sorry, everyone, but I don't plan on finding a wife. I'm just too good—no woman could match me."
He thought that would make them back off. Instead, it made them even more eager.
Tsunade burst out laughing as clan heads crowded Menma, proudly listing their daughters' virtues.
Jiraiya leaned toward her and muttered, "You know he's going to get revenge for this, right? That kid holds grudges."
Tsunade shrugged. "At worst, we'll call it even."
After finally escaping the mob using Flying Thunder God, Menma returned home panting.
The next morning, his "good days" officially ended as he reported for duty—now the Director of the Konoha Scientific Research Department.
He walked in, took one look, and froze.
The place looked like a scrapyard. Tools and papers were scattered everywhere, and nothing remotely resembled science.
"Director Menma, sir!" a bespectacled man hurried over. "I'm Takashi Yoshimoto."
Behind him stood two others—Alan and Abai. Together, they made up the entire department.
Menma blinked. "Wait, who are you people again?" He mentally scanned every memory of the original timeline—no trace of these three.
Whatever.
"Nice to meet you," he said smoothly. "I'm Menma Uzumaki, your new department head. Let's work hard together."
Yoshimoto's eyes sparkled. "Director Menma, your vision is revolutionary! We'll follow your lead!"
Alan and Abai nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, Director!"
Menma: "…" Stop calling me that. I don't know how to do any of this!
Keeping a straight face, he asked, "Yoshimoto, why is this place such a mess?"
"Budget issues," Yoshimoto admitted awkwardly. "Since our department hasn't produced any major results, funding's been… limited."
Alan sighed. "It's barely enough to eat, let alone research."
"Alan!" Yoshimoto hissed, glaring at him. You'll scare the director away!
He quickly added, "But that was before! Now that you're leading us, everything will change!"
Menma stared at the barren lab. Change? The only thing changing is my bank balance—into negative numbers.
Still, he managed a strained smile. "Alright then. It's our first day together, so let's start with something simple—I'm treating everyone to lunch."
Destination: Akimichi Barbecue Restaurant.
Menma sighed internally as he walked out. There goes Naruto's future dowry fund.
"Let's turn sadness into appetite," he muttered. "Eat now, regret later."
(End of Chapter)
Gimme Powerstones :)))
Also Check out my Patreon at [Patreon.com/GGFanfiction]