Sami finally opened his eyes. The place seemed dark to him, or perhaps his senses simply hadn't returned yet. He closed his eyes again, and suddenly felt a touch on his shoulder, followed by a soothing flow of energy that penetrated his exhausted body, reviving him. His senses sprang back to life all at once.
He heard a voice beside him:
"Hello there, are you awake, Sami?"
It was the Water Turtle's voice.
Sami tried to jerk away in panic, or so he thought, but his body was weak and devoid of any strength, so he didn't move at all. He looked around; he was still in the same shattered place, lying on the ground, with the Water Turtle sitting beside him. That sharp glint in his eyes had vanished, returning to his usual tired, gloomy features, which made Sami feel even more uneasy.
He was completely different...
The moon still shone in the sky, and the night's darkness hadn't yet lifted. Sami realized he hadn't been unconscious for long. The momentum of the battle around him had lessened somewhat; it seemed the fight was nearing its end.
Sami sighed, then spoke in a calm tone, addressing the Water Turtle:
"Why did you do all this?"
The Water Turtle replied in a despondent tone:
"I thought it would make me happy."
Sami said, his voice burning with anger and hatred:
"And? Did it? Huh, you lunatic!"
The Water Turtle replied calmly:
"It seems it did... for a short while at least. But now, I'm... completely empty."
Sami opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. What was he trying to do? He was still confused. And why was he blaming the Water Turtle in the first place? He wasn't directly responsible for everything that had happened... He needed to ask about the thing most important to him.
"What is your connection to that misty being? Who is he?"
The Water Turtle answered in a resigned voice:
"Oh, you mean that crazy devil? Well, I don't really know who he is. I just made a deal with him, and now there's nothing between us anymore."
Sami was stunned and fell silent for a moment, then his expression gradually changed. He became sullen, depressed, as if he'd slipped into a whirlpool of heavy questions.
Suddenly, the Water Turtle spoke:
"Do you want to know why I did all this? Fine, I'll tell you... even if you don't want to hear it. In the end, I'd like someone to hear my story before I die. Someone other than me... and you seem to be that unlucky person."
He sighed, then made himself comfortable on a pile of rubble, looked at Sami, and spoke in a muddled voice:
"Sami, I'm tired... maybe you can't see it, but I'm tired. Tired to the point where I can't smile, I can't cry, tired to the point where I can't sleep or lie down. All I can do is work... just work. Nothing else. Going and coming, training, memorizing, crafting... I'm truly tired. Maybe I can bear a day or two of exhaustion, but I can't rest for a single minute. I've lost the meaning in everything."
Sami remained bewildered... Why had this man suddenly decided to talk to him? Well, he didn't mind, or rather, he didn't have a choice.
"Would my family be happy with what I've done? Seriously, what nonsense are you talking?! Of course they wouldn't be happy. No one likes people getting killed for their sake. I'm not doing this for them, but for myself... to be happy."
The old man sighed and looked down:
"Will this make me happy? Probably not. But it doesn't matter... I'll cling to that small possibility, that through what I'm doing, maybe, just maybe, I'll figure out how to become happy."
Sami let out a long sigh while still lying on the ground. He hated this kind of person.
He said sarcastically:
"Well, it seems what you did was meaningless!"
The Water Turtle suddenly shouted angrily and threw his rifle down beside him:
"Shut up, boy! I hate people like you, who try to find meaning in everything! I hate you! I do what I do because I want to, for no other reason. There is no meaning! They killed people important to me, so I'll kill them, simple as that. There's no meaning to it."
Then he returned to his gloomy seated position and said in a low voice:
"You're a child... and so am I. We all are. Some think a few years give them wisdom, like a six-year-old calling a three-year-old a child, while the difference between them is insignificant in the grand scheme. Age is just a number. Just a number! Fifty years of eating, shitting, and sleeping don't mean you're qualified to tell me what to do! It doesn't mean you've done something great."
Then he added, his eyes on Sami:
"Sami, you're sixteen years old. I've probably lived that length three times over, but look at me... my life is meaningless. And even though I'm older and more experienced, you're already stronger than me... and you even have better sense than I do. Tell me, what good has all this age done me? Forty useless years!"
Sami remained silent, seeing no reason to reply.
"Alright, boy, do you have time to listen to this failure's story? You can't refuse anyway. You won't lose anything except your peace of mind, and honestly, that's a small price to pay for what you might gain."
The Water Turtle straightened up with his gloomy enthusiasm, sat in a squat, rested his elbow on his knee, and placed his hand under his chin:
"Let me begin...
I lived an ordinary life. I was the only son in my family, and I had a younger sister who loved me. I studied, graduated with average grades, then studied engineering. My mother loved me, and my father was proud of me. I met a kind girl, she loved me, and I married her. We lived in my family's house, an ordinary life. I didn't ask for more than that. I was content with being ordinary...
So why was such an ordinary life taken from me?!
It's unfair, isn't it?!"
Sami felt nothing toward him... perhaps because he couldn't, or didn't want to.
The Water Turtle continued, some emotion welling up in his eyes:
"You want to know how?
Do you remember the attack on the clan twenty years ago?
Of course not, you weren't born yet...
I was conscripted by the Bound Knights for defense and placed on the front lines so an ordinary person like me would simply die, but I survived. Don't ask me how, just luck.
When I returned, I found my mother and father had died from the explosion of a nearby hospital due to a battle between the Lords. What was their crime? They were just there.
My wife? She was pregnant, going to the medical center for her supplements, and she was taken hostage by extremists. She starved to death because the clan didn't care to save them.
My sister? She committed suicide two months later from depression after her lover died in the battle.
When I returned, I couldn't believe anything. I had been sent to the front as an engineer, with the guarantee that my family would be fine... so why weren't they?!
Tell me, Sami, what is the crime of ordinary people in the problems of the extraordinary, like the Lords and the Founders?"
Sami exhaled, then finally decided to speak, because this held some meaning:
"You've lived an ugly life, old man...
But what is the crime of others in that?!"
The old man shook his head in denial:
"And now you ask me why I involve innocent people who've done no wrong?!
I want you to correct a notion: this isn't revenge...
I just want those ghouls at the top to feel the weakness of ordinary people like me...
To hate me as I've hated them... to think twice before dragging us into their problems."
He sighed quietly:
"Yes, I know what I'm doing is wrong...
But what's the problem with that?
Am I the only one not allowed to make mistakes?!"
Sami retorted with indignant anger:
"You know... I respected you before.
But now, all I feel for you is pity.
You're a truly contradictory person! I can't understand you!"
The Water Turtle replied in a calm, gloomy voice:
"Sami, I know you're smart...
But don't always use your intelligence to understand people.
Sometimes we do things that make no sense."
Sami said coldly:
"I don't care about your revenge, or what you do.
You want to destroy the clan? Go ahead.
You want to destroy the world? Go ahead.
You were wronged, you lived alone, you hated the nobles...
None of that matters to me.
I've suffered too. I wasn't okay.
And now, I'm in a worse state... because of you.
And you'll never become happy this way... and you know it.
Now, spare me the villain and hero dialogue...
I'm not a hero, just tell me where to find that damn thing."
The Water Turtle didn't seem to like Sami's words.
He turned his face away, picked up his rifle, stood, and turned his back to Sami.
"Maybe you'll understand me one day, boy...
Anyway, I'm leaving now.
And all I can say is:
I'm not sorry, and I'm not happy...
I'm wrong, but I wanted it this way.
And maybe, just maybe, I achieved something in some way...
Because tonight of all nights, I created the greatest thing in my life...
"I managed to create a stage where the ordinary person controls the extraordinary, and dictates the course of their lives according to his whims... I shattered their paradise."
He let out a small laugh, then muttered in a voice so faint it was almost inaudible:
"This... is my justice."
Then he turned and began to walk away amidst the scattered wreckage, his footsteps gradually fading behind clouds of smoke and the cracked darkness of the night... until the darkness swallowed him completely.
And so, with that simplicity, "The Water Turtle" vanished... after completely shattering Sami.
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